In Kiev now

[Oosik]

Well, I'm here. My HOFA homestay family actually has a daughter Nastya working with an Englishman Neil Leary in their company DarinaElite!!! I forgot my phone numbers for russian women connecton, so she invited me to her office to use the internet to get ahold of them. Their website is www.ukrainecontact.com.

 

Enough of that, I've got one, maybe two dates here tonight, then off to Chernigov tomorrow. If it doesn't work out there, I'll be back here and probably get an apartment from Neil, he has a bunch.

[Oosik]

Forget Kiev, Chernigov is amazing. I met 4 girls here, one of whom is a perfect match. Can you say "May wedding"? I was engaged NY Eve at her parents house. I'll post a decent trip report here later, ,but I want to say this town is crawling with NICE girls. I don't just mean beautiful, ,but women in their early to mid twenties who are simple and sweet, and very lonely. Say what you will about RWC/Kiev Connections, but I would not change one thing. BTW check out Anna,  age 26 on their website. She is the interpreter,  and available. Very sweet and also feels very lonely.

[Jack]

wow oosik, what a lucky man. Met four ladies in Chernigov and you found the perfect match. Some men have to look for years, meet many ladies and after finding her need to spend a lot of time with her making sure she is the perfect match. And with you, after what, three, four days of knowing her your engaged? You are a lucky man and I hope you will not mind if I ask you to make my next lotto picks for me. I wish you and your fiancee all the best.

[Oosik]

2 days in airports or on planes. I almost felt like Tom Hanks in "Terminal".

I must say London/Gatwick is a POS. They don't even announce gates until about 45 minutes before the departure time, so you have no way in hell to soothe your nerves if you are the kind of guy that likes to have a clue.

I stood in line longer getting my last ticket booked at Gatwick than I did at all other places combined, including UKR passport control!!

Arrive Kiev, passport control was quick. Nastya, the 29 year old daugter of my homestay "family" is there. I kept the homestay because I had strong feelings that Kiev girls are probably a bit "proud".

Nastya runs a small agency with Neil, an Englishman. I killed time there the next morning, and used their internet. Russian-Women-Connection had 2 dates for me that night. One cancelled by mid-day, so now one, a delightful (looking) 5'7" chestnut haired 22 year old.

We were to meet at the agency. Nastya could not find the exact building for me,  so I went out on my own. It should be "9r blah blah blah street". I accidently find bldg #7, mis-communicate with the babuska guarding the door, I think it is #9. I go to room 37, no one home. Eventually I figure it out.

I then go to bldg "9" I decided sprinting up stairs is not good before a date. I enter an Addams family entryway, half expecting the Lost Boys or Batman to pop out of this gothic looking place. I go to the telephone booth sized elevator. I push floor 8, nothing. I start pushing buttons, including the "holy sh*t  open this door I gotta get out" button. Nothing. I hit the intercom and begin start saying "get me out of here" and choice words to that effect. In a minute or two, after deciding that those movies where Arnold Schwartzenegger opens the elevator doors with his bare hands are Bullsh*t, I finally punch the number of the floor that I am on and the door opens. I then go to the top floor and no #37.

Next building, I notice that the numbers of the apartments are marked on placards on the front of the entryway. I go in,  RWC is conveniently located on the first floor. I am dripping in sweat. Thank god the girl could not find the office either, and was later than I. She called.

O'Brians pub. close to both agencies, was then chosen as the meeting place. Brett of RWC let one of his workers off work early to walk me by there.  We get there,  and she is stylish and finger-licken' good looking.

[Oosik]

O'Brians was packed, and then we tried another place that was packed, so we went into a cafe. This is a cafeteria type restraunt, and a perfectly normal place for average Russians/Ukrainians to go. She kind of sniffed at the offerings, and didn't want to eat there. Not a good sign. She got a fruit drink in a bottle, I got a draft beer.

We sat down to talk, and she asked how long I was in Kiev. I told her I was going to Chernigov the next day, but I would be coming back, how soon would depend on if I had a reason. She began to say very dismissive things about Chernigov, and said I would find a wife there, and made negative inferrences to country girls. That was enough for both of us. This is the "Kiev Proud" syndrome.

In an hour we were done, I didn't waste time on even a cheek kissing attempt.

I went back to DarenaElite's office, and there were a bunch of ppl making plans for some video shoots the next day. After they were done, Nastya and I took a taxi home.

The next morning, my $80 taxi ride to Chernigov went fine. They had 2 dates lined up for me. Chernigov is a nice city of about 300k people. I liked the feel of it alot.

First date was "I". She is 21, about to finish University. She is taller than her profile, about 6 foot or better in heels. She actually looks better in the pictures than in real life. Other than discolored teeth, which one can understand and deal with (with $$$ in the US of course), she was pretty hot looking. Supermodel thin though, which is why she looked like a 9.5 in the pictures and a solid 8+ in person. She speaks extremely little english. She was dressed to kill, and blushing and embarrassed.

We both ordered salads with chicken in it, I had beer, she had wine. The translator told me she had turned down a fancy foreign wine and wanted a Ukrainian brand. Very good sign. The translator had coffee I think, or tea. It all came out to less than $10.00. She only ate half the salad, while I was silently hoping she would eat the whole thing and gain half a pound. We got along very well, and there was strong mutual chemistry. She was raised in the country, and liked it. She had moved to Chernigov to go to school. I liked this alot. As we wrapped up 3 1/2 hours later (time flys on a good date), we decided to see each other again later, sans translator. Igor the office director/translator cancelled my later date as things were going so well. The later date had called to delay the date by an hour anyway.

Igor and I go to buy an electronic translator and a cell phone. I met "I" at about 6, we then went to "Cafe Nector" and She again had wine and a salad, and I had her order for me. She hooked me up with some good grub, I was actually full. She had wine, I had beer. We tried like hell to communicate, but it got very frustrating. We parted company after I walked her half way home. I went for the kiss, got cheek. Oh well.

I skipped a day with her, to have more first dates. The next day, at about one, I met "G". Her pictures were about a year out of date. She is 21 also. When she showed up, she had a hairdo with that copper color in it, and she looked like a future babuska. No real chemistry. We went to the Cafe "Mama Mia" that the Chernigov office uses for first dates (very good choice, cheap, nice inside, usually quiet). She refused even to have tea. We talked through an interpreter just fine, but then after a while she confessed that she met the man of her dreams, and came on the date to be polite. She thought I went to Chernigov just to meet her. She never even wrote me a letter, she just read my intro letter! Silly girl. I do admire that she did not want to sponge off of me in any way.

So I have a date with "E" tonight. 25 She had wanted to push back the date the night before and we cancelled, and tonight she was 30 minutes late. I almost left the agency, tired of waiting. It seems that "E" works two jobs, and has a hard time leaving her second job on time, so I'm glad I waited.She is 25, with the face of a 17 year old, and an awesome body. Such a sweet little voice, but it only speaks Russian, Ukrainian and Italian. She keeps saying Italian words to me "Gratzi" etc, then laughing when she catches herself. This was to be my only date in Chernigov that has met other men. She is about 5'6", 5'7", super stylish in a very simple way, and utterly adorable. The usual places to meet are full, so I suggest that we go to my apartment (killer apt, walking distance to everything) for tea and I can show her my pictures on my laptop. With our female interpreter in tow, we go. Without the interpreter BTW, there is no way in hell she would have gone. I serve tea for all, and we look at my slide show. Music plays, and she likes it. She thought many of the places were "romatic". This is a girl that also doesn't require a city to be happy, but I made that clear in my intro letter. I'm also pretty impressed that she would work two jobs. I joked that she must be very busy, and that it can sometimes be hard to tell if when a girl says she is very busy, if she really is, or just doesn't want to see the guy anymore. She quickly said she was not too busy at all, it was very easy to have the time. Nice chemistry. At the end, she looks out the window and loves it, and tells how she likes to throw things at people. I assume that she ment as a child doing the water balloon type of thing. But looking at her butt as she leaned out the window, and thinking of her little girls face, I thought adding a devilish sense of fun would make her a joy to be intimate with. I did not try to kiss her, but we agreed to meet again.
 My ATM card had stopped working that day, so we agreed to meet after NY day. If my card had been fine, we would have met the next day, and who knows what would have happened? Fate sometimes hangs on tiny things. "E" could have made in go exclusive with her, she is that nice. If she spoke english, I almost certainly would have wanted to spend the rest of my time with her.

The next morning, my ATM card worked again. My emergency email to my bank had worked. At 1pm I meet "I" again, this time at McDonalds. I bring a rose, and she comes dressed for dinner at Hugh Heffner's house. I feel retarded. Something about tall skinny girls. Ever notice how their boobs seem to grow out of their chest about 4 inches lower than they should? She had that look, in a tiger pattern tight little pants/halter suit. Looked dooable, no problem at all, but still so skinny. We bail on Micky D's, and she finds us a little trendy cafe where you sit on couches. She blushes and never really has much to say. Less chemistry. The interpreter bails in an hour at our suggestion, "I"and I go to my pad to watch a movie on my laptop. We sit by each other on the couch and when I lean over to kiss her bare upper arm, after about 3 seconds of this she moves away, and assumes a defensive posture for the rest of the movie. We walk to her place silently later, and I go for the good night kiss and get cheek. We are done at this point. Later, the interpreter points out that "I" is probably a lot more expensive than "E". I think the interpreter like "E" a lot more. I would say I had spent more time with "E" and less than with "I", but everything that happened led to my ultimate engagement, so I would not change anything, not at all. During the movie, I went to the other room and called the Anna the interpreter and asked her to try to set up another date with "E" for the next day.

New Years Eve Eve (not a typo), and I meet "L" at 6pm. The interpreter calls and says "L" wants to come early, about 5:30. Great! This one speaks english, no interpreter required. I SMS "E" but no reply, Anna tries to get her also, no reply or answer on the phone.

I show up at the office at 10 till 5, with my shirt untucked etc. I normally get there before a date, chat with Anna, and get mentally ready. I have to admit I had many nice chats with Anna, and if it not for the fact that I needed her to translate impartially, I would have asked her out the day before. She would make a great wife. Anyway, I walk into the office and "L" is sitting by the door, 40 minutes early for our date. I recognizer her immediately, and I'm thinking "holy cow I'm not presentable". We say hello and go out to Mama Mia.

[Oosik]

All she wants it tea, so we both have some. Costs less than 10 grivna, about 2 bucks.
She talks in a low (sultry) tone, and has amazing bedroom eyes. She is not the most beautiful girl in Chernigov (She'll never see this post, or I'd not say it, ever), but she is very attractive, with chestnut hair, about 5'5". True beauty comes with love and respect anyway. Minute by minute she becomes more beautiful. We start talking, and have the usual games of "now you say something" etc. Something is different though. We talk, laugh and have a nice conversation, but we often have little quiet periods where we look at each other's faces and eyes and then one of us gets uncomfortable and we talk again. She is worried that she is boring me, but it just isn't so. We seem to be very comfortable with each other. What made me uncomfortable is that I could just fall into her gaze and float away and we had just met! The crazy thing is it was mutual. She actually ate before she came, so she was not hungry. Only one of these girls came hungry, I must say I never felt like someone was taking advantage of me, they all (in Chernigov) went out of their way to not spend my money.

After over an hour later, she is convinced that I am bored. I invite her to my apartment to see my pictures on my laptop. Fortunately, she had spent some time talking with Anna in the office before I came, and Anna told her about my pictures, and that if the Cafe's were crowded she could go to my apartment for tea and I would not try anything.

So, words to the wise:
Have a nice picture slideshow, and have music with it, so when the pictures are done, you still have some sexy tunes playing in the background. My choice was bluesy type stuff.
Have your dates with non-english speakers first. It can get the office staff on your side if you happen to be a hell of a guy like me, and it can keep you from going exclusive too soon.

We went to my kicken' bachelor pad, and I showed her the slideshow. It showed the Alaska bush in all it's glory, no holds barred. But my intro letter was a full page, which included my job and living conditions in detail, which is why only 6 of over 20 girls agreed to meet me. I figured the ones that did would automatically be way further down the road to accepting my lifestyle. She was. I admit, I showed a pix of Valdez and told her that in a couple of years I would like to try getting a teaching job there.

All the time she leaned towards me, major positive body language.
We seemed to have amazing comfort and a very subtle but good chemistry.

We were talking, and I gave her the only thing that I have that is close to a "line", but it isn't really, it just sets the stage for better understanding and communication;)

It worked in P-K last summer also.

I told her about the American first-date custom, how the man tries to kiss the girl at the end of the date, and even if it is a small kiss on the lips, it means there will be a second date, and all is well. If the girl only lets him kiss her cheek, he knows she will not see him again. "Of course, things are different in Ukraine, I know." is the last part of it. I just wanted to set her up for giving me a little sugar when the date was over.

She tells me that she had two dates before where she wanted the boy to kiss her, but they never did. She said she didn't know why nobody likes her. ?????

I asked if anyone ever said they loved her, she said no.

Dudes and dudettes, in small town Ukraine, a girl has to be agressive to get a man. Shy girls who work in nearly all-women organizations making $75 per month don't find men unless they are willing to be loose and or very agressive. in later conversations I find out that she pretty much had given up on being loved.

I tell her "I don't want you to ever tell a story about 3 men that you wanted to kiss  you but never did."  I then lean to her and kiss her. She melts in my arms, puts her arms around me and kisses back.

She has no clue how to kiss.

She has never had an open mouth kiss in her 21 1/2 years on this planet.

I am holding the most delicate of flowers in my arms.

So I procede to give her kissing lessons. I steal first, but she's cool with it , a few days later she told me she liked it, no one had done it before, and that it suprised her that I would want to, and that she would let me.

I am sooo going to hell, almost 38 years old, with such an innocent girl 16 1/2 years my junior. BUT, she is free and 21, she can decide what she wants in life. That's what I'll tell St. Peter when he slams the gate shut and kicks me to the basement.

So our date ends about 4 hours after it begins. She refused to let me send her home in a Taxi, she took the trolly bus. I barely remember to give her my cell phone number (she doesn't have one, so it didn't spur me to do it earlier).

Next day, NY eve. Big day in this part of the world, like NY, Christmas and your birthday rolled into one. Who will invite me to spend it with her? I spend the morning thinking 10 % of "E" and 90% "L". No kissing with "E", but then no english and a chaperoned first date doesn't mean sparks couldn't fly. But I laid on the couch thinking of "L" more and more. At noonish, my phone rings. "L" woke me from a very risque fantasy about her, to ask if I wanted to spend NY eve with her. "Da Da Da!!!" She tells me it will be at her parents house, they are very poor, etc etc. Not a problem. It's very, very strong mojo for a girl to invite you to NY eve with her parents, especially when her parents live in a house with similar conditions to a 1930's Mississippi sharecropper. I don't think she was ashamed of it, but maybe she was thinking that I was too big of a western candy-ass to deal with it. Well, It was all fine. She calls back at 2, and says she would come to my apartment at 4.

Of course, she is 15 minutes early. We meet for a kiss after she takes off her shoes and puts her coat up. She has improved greatly, and has such a sweet embrace. I am going mad for her, the comfort level is amazing. It reminded me of the best times with my ex-wife. I sit in an easy chair and pull her to my lap. Or rather, I gently begin to pull her, but when she sees what I want she comes and reclines in my lap like she belongs there. More kissing lessons, it is completely amazing. We sit and snuggle like this, sometimes kissing, sometimes not, just talking a little, but also long quiet periods just snuggling up. I cannot overstate the comfort level. After 2 1/2 hours of this, I am just floating. I ask her if she believes in love at first sight, she smiles and looks into my eyes and says yes. She seems to be just as happy to be with me as I am with her. I say "Do you think it can be like this forever?" She didn't hesitate, even with her english being a bit rough, she mentally translated what I said and answered in less than a second, "Yes, of course". It throws me for a loop and by the time I reorient myself I love her. I ask her to promise to not say she loves me unless she really means it. She says of course. We smooch even more sweetly and being the kind of guy who likes to lay my cards on the table, I speak my mind, and tell her I love her. We kiss some more.

We sit on the couch and I put on a tourist video of Alaska, which she watches intently, leaning to me the whole time. Later she told me that she fell in love with me watching the movie. At about 7pm we go to get some champagne for her parents house. I volunteered to buy some more things, meat, cheese, whatever. I told her I didn't want to buy so much that they would think I am showing off or saying that I am richer than them, but I want to be more than polite. All she let me get was the Champagne. She chose a common brand, the one the store seemed to have mass quantities of for the occasion. It was not the fruity sugar laden stuff I had before in the US.

So the taxi pulls up to the house. It has a big wooden fence 7 feet high. We knock on the house window for them to come unlock the gate.

To be continued...

[Oosik]

A little dog is going nuts in the yard, and her mom comes and unlocks the gate, we go in. Introductions are made, mom and stepfather speak no english. The moment I take off my shoes, dad kicks off his houseshoes and gives them to me. We hang out for a while, "L" and I talking, mom and dad cook and peel potatoes. We sit down for a dinner of things I never saw in my life, I ate about half of the dishes on the table, some of them pretty good. Mom whips out some moonshine that a neighbor had made. Dark and strong!!

I tell "L" that I want her parents to like me, so I take shots with them, "L" just sips some wine. Mom, dad and I get kind of drunk, lots of laughing etc. I am also watching "L" run around, helping here and there, making sure I am well fed and comfortable. She is sooo sweet, not to mention cute with her striped socks and these hilarious pink platform flip-flop type houseshoes. I think you can tell a lot about a woman in this sort of environment. I would just watch her doing whatever she was doing and she seemed so competent, caring and solicitous.

I guess my yardstick for love is the best years of my previous marriage. I am fortunate that my marriage and pre-marriage living-together days had great happiness and very strong love. I was finding that "L" and I were fitting together in ways that it took years with my ex. I looked at "L" and I could imagine it lasting forever, or at least hoping that it would. The more I watched her the more I loved her.

Her parents went to bed for a nap around 9:30 or so. "L" and I sat on the couch, not kissing much, because of the impropriety of it in her parents house. I look at her and want this scene to never end. I tell her I have so much to say to her but I am a little drunk and she wouldn't believe it. She told me "children and drunks" usually tell the truth about how they feel.

So I kneel in front of her and tell her how much I love her, that how I feel about her will not change in a day, a month, a year or ever. I told her that I would love her forever, that I want to spend my life making her happy, I want to put a ring on her finger and will she marry me. She delayed about 1 second (probably to double-check her mental translation) and said, "Yes, I will marry you". I asked her if she loved me, she said quickly "Yes, I love you". We smooch a little, then mom and dad get up.

I simply knew that I loved her, and that It wouldn't change. If I had not proposed, I would have been one of those guys proposing by email, or waiting until summer to fly there to propose. I didn't want to wait, I saw no reason to wait. If it's love, it's love, with all the risks and rewards. Time is something you should spend loving someone, not mulling over it alone.

We sneek looks at each other for a while, until I decide it is my turn to take a nap, in the other room, until just before midnight.

We drink champagne at midnight, and adjourn to our separate beds for the night.

We all wake up early, Mom and Dad have hangovers, I'm just a little dehydrated, "L" only had 2 very small glasses of wine, so she is mostly ok.

We take a taxi to my pad, and as we kiss, the camera pans to the window, as people walk by unknowing of the two lives changing in the little apartment above the bank.

Something real cute and sweet happened a little later. I asked if she wanted to go out for lunch. No. It seems that she had laid claim to one of my tee shirts and wanted to lounge around in it. Would she like it if I go to McDonalds and bring back lunch? Yes. "Do you want to come lock the door behind me or should I lock you in?" "Lock it"  So I take the only key from the inside lock, go out, lock the door and practically whistle all the way to Micky D's. Some burgers, fries, and a stop at a kiosk for a red rose, then back home to the snuggliest girl in Chernigov. It was pretty cool that she wanted me to lock her up in the aparment, that she felt so safe there already and all that. Kinda romantic too.

She runs out to her apartment later, then came back for the evening and night. I think we had McDonalds in the same fashion the next morning too. We spent the next day as well in a sort of honeymoon, like a nice long lazy weekend barely peeking out of the apartment. One trip that second day of January was ring shopping.  But my hands are sore from typing, later...

[Oosik]

She had to work on tuesday, and was trying to get thursday (my last day) off. Her boss let her out early Tuesday and gave her the rest of the week off.

90% of it was spent in my apartment. She now had a routine when she came in, within 10 seconds of having her boots off she would have one of my tee shirts on. Anytime I went out to fetch meals, she would have me lock her in.

We went to get the ring. She had been trying to let me off the hook, but I wanted her to have it badly. She had a coworker who married a US PeaceCorps worker. So she knew about the engagement ring thing, and she had no problem putting it on her left finger. As we walked, I told her I wanted to spend about 1,000 grivna($175), she looked shocked and asked why so much. When we got to the store, she selected one that cost about 250 grivna, or $50. I pointed to one that was 1950 grivna. She spoke with the clerk and they brought out a ring that looked like a wedding band but with small diamonds or diamond chips in it, 750 grivna ($150). We both liked it and took it. Later she told me she always wanted an engagement ring, even though very few Ukrainian man would buy them. The ring is simple but nice, I like that it is non-snag, and is not the usual style.

We had 5 days together after NY eve and our engagement, and it was all sweet and wonderful and amazingly lazy. She had no desire to go bowling, or to a bar or club, not even to eat out. We made pilmini, had sausage, cheese and crackers, yogurt, whatever in the apartment. I ate more freaken McDonalds in Ukraine than I have eaten in a year.

When my ride came at 4:15 on the morning of the 6th, we dropped her off at home. I gave her all the money I had left, my cell phone, the electronic dictionary. On the way to her house she cried a little bit.

So anyway, if I think of anything else interesting I'll add it. Mainly, I had learned so much from others posting trip reports and such on the boards, that I decided to pay it back with my little stories.

I hope that more guys will go to Chernigov, because it is known locally as a "city of brides" with a 6:1 ratio, as my fiance told me. So many girls there who are very lonely, who are young and beautiful but have almost given up on being loved. So many average girls by their standards who have walnut-cracking asses, great legs and pretty faces who are tired of being alone, or of meeting Ukrainian men who just use them. It's $80 by taxi from Kiev, but only $50 to go from Chernigov to the airport. I never spent more than $10 on a meal.

[START2]

Oosik,

  I spent alot of time in chernigov. I know the city very well. Before you left I PM'd you about a few good places to go there. Did you ever meet Yuri at the internet cafe?  Did you see Oxsana at Mama Mia's? Nectar  is ok but about a year ago they changed mngment and the food wasn't as good but is still tasty.  Since there aren't many places for breakfast, Mic D's was about it early in the day even though they still only serve burgers at 8AM. There are actually a few good restaurants near the college there to. Did you make to Etoualle(sp) for dancing. Great place!! They also opened a new disco on the main drag near the open market but it was extremely expensive for that town. There are many hot women there and it seemed I saw alot of Italians visiting there. Glad you had a good trip and good luck. I lived in Ak. for a few years and there is quite a Ru/UKr population that lives in the valley. Many of them attend a church there. If you get your gal here and she needs connections, try there.

[START2]

P.S.,

You could have taken the the subway to Lesnaya(outskirts of Kiev) and hopped a marshroutka to Chernigov for about 15 grivna. 2 hours max. Taxi is still about 90 mins. Maybe next trip you can save a few bucks.

[Oosik]

I had 1 or two scheduled dates per day until NY eve, so no, I didn't go to any of those places. The first meetings were all at Mama Mia or in one case tea at my place. I found plenty within walking distance, and once I was engaged, if my baby wanted to snuggle all day long, I wasn't going to object. I suppose hitting the dance club to check out the babes would have been fun, but living in the Alaska bush, meeting women prescreened to be open to the idea was best for me.

I appreciated all your tips though. I did use the internet cafe, but only twice and there were women manning the booth both times.

Chernigov is a cool little city.
Part of me would like to find some work there helping local manufacturers become more competative (My first career is Mfg/Ind. Engineering), but then if I lived there, I'm afraid the temptations would turn me into a dog.

[Albert]

Oosik, any concerns that Chernobil is just a few kilometers west of your gal's city?

[Oosik]

It worried me before I went, and I asked Brett about it. He told me the wind patterns kept the radiation away. I have looked at radiation maps, and it looks like Chernigov is well out of the high reading areas. I don't pretend that they were unaffected, but looking at the maps, Kiev took a monster blow compared to Chernigov, and I haven't heard of guys having 2 headed babies with girls there. That doesn't mean that cancer is not more likely to manifest itself in later years , I just don't know. It doesn't matter now. I'm one of those un-nuanced guys, some things are black and white. I fell in love with her, and it doesn't matter that I did it on the second date, "click" the switch is on, it won't turn off for any possible future medical problems.

[Bruce]

Oosick, sounds like an excellent trip report for you and a ringing endorsement of Chernigov for Westerners looking for a bride.   I am more positive about "L's" feelings towards you.  Some questions which will fill in some gaps if you care to answer them:

1.  Is your Lena, Larisa "L" etc. an only child?  I assume from your trip report above that she is.  IF so, does she know how far it is from home to Alaska?  How often does she expect to communicate with and or see her parents once she is in Alaska?   A huge pitfall could be the shock of really leaving her parents and friends for your relationship down the line, especially with a 21 year old girl. 

2.  How much time did you spend talking about your future together?  Does she understand anything about the K-1 process? 

3.  Do you and "L" like to do the same things?  Do you have similar interests?  Are your goals congruent?

4.  How well can you communicate with her and do you communicate in English?  How will you get around the communication barrier in the next six months?  Is she actively learning English?

5.  Did you meet any of her friends or coworkers?  Do you know if she has cousins, aunts, uncles or grandparents and or meet any of them?

6.  Does she want to have children (I assume she does); do you and have you discussed this?

7.  Are you planning on visiting her again prior to her getting on the plane and comming to Alaska?  Will you accompany her here for the first time?

8.  How far has "L" been from Chernigov and how often?  Has she ever been out of Ukraine?

9.  Do you know what she does not like?  Do you agree on what you both really dislike? 

[Oosik]

1. Only child. We discussed being able to summer there as I am a teacher. But she knows I may go back to engineering. We discussed her teaching her mother how to use the internet.
2. We spent the entire time talking about life together. She says she thinks the village will be good for her the first year, so she can learn better english with less confusion. She filled out the 325 and wrote the statement already, took a passport pix for me. She knows in detail the probable itiniery (sp) for next summer and next school year.
3.We both enjoyed the hell out of our vary lazy, in the apartment "honeymoon". She is a homebody, does not like crowds and noisy places. She likes to read and she likes to just hang out with me. She is interested in working as a teachers aide, which works out great. In this, we both agree 100%.
4.She speaks and writes great english, but wants to improve. I told her she doesn't need to, because in 2 months in the US she will be fluent.
5. I met her Mother and Stepfather. I proposed at their house, which I assume you read from my TR. If you know anything, you would know that in this situation the woman would not introduce her man to her co-workers until it is a done deal, sealed in gov't red tape. OTW it would jinx things, and jealousy could make her work miserable.
6. We both want kids, pref in 2-3 years, but accidents are welcome.
7. Nope. I'll make her flights as direct as possible, we already discussed it.
8.Never been out of Ukraine, she has been to Kiev I think.
9. We both don't like crowds.

[catzenmouse]

Don't downplay the adjustment period after she arrives. Elena is still having problems with things, (not much but occasionally) and it would be great if she could arrive after your school year is out so you can devote all your time to her and to all the things you will need to do to get her comfortable and get her paperwork going. Even with good English skills already there is a great deal of slang that we use. Check with your local system for advanced ESL classes or look for some of the books that explain the American version of Engligh.

Happy Travels!

Ken

[Oosik]

I plan to have 3 solid months just with her, other than a 6 week period where I have to take 12 credit hours of summer school. My plan is for her to fly out the day after my contract is over for the year.

[BC]

Oosik,

Please don't feel like I'm beating up on you...  "Itinerary" is correct.  I'm not a perfect speller but I would expect more from my teachers.. (son of 2 teachers).

As I understand it you are not planning to visit her before she arrives.. why not at least spend the summer months with her instead of rushing K1 for a woman you barely know? Surely this is more important than some extra credit or? Heck you could let the K1 run parallel and plan to come back 'home' together..

I dunno.. for me the 5 "P's" still count.. Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance.

I just don't swallow the K1 'trial period' very well..

[Goombah]

BC:  That just goes to emphasis that the K-1 period simply isn't suppose to be used as a Trial.  It should be entered into with 100% confidence that the couple is doing the right thing.  Of course, something could change their mind before the wedding, but using it as a Trial adds a lot of pressure that simply isn't needed.

Kevin (on day 21 of his K-1 and wondering how the hell he can organize a wedding so quickly!)

[Bruno]

Kevin (on day 21 of his K-1 and wondering how the hell he can organize a wedding so quickly!)

:D:D All seem good in your case... organize a wedding is a detail... be happy is a more big problem... but in your case, it seem to be right... "felicitations" ( French )

 

[Oosik]

It's not a trial period. I'll probably marry her the first week at my mom's house. Engaged at her parents, married at mine. Decent romantic symmetry I think, and the alternative is being married in alaska with no family present, or at great expense to them to fly up. I know many out there say "but you don't really know her". Well, marriages that begin with cohabitation have a higher divorce rate than those that don't. So maybe knowing someone is less important than commitment. How do you test commitment? More time than a trial period, that's for sure. But I think she showed her commitment to me already. My turn.

Regarding spelling, that's what spell checker is for. I teach or have taught math, physical science, earth science, current issues in science, geography, carpentry, pneumatics, biology, health, pe, school-to-work, US constitution and US history in just 2 years. I can teach drafting and electronics. All this from a guy with an engineering degree.  Under current federal education law, I am highly qualified in 4 areas at a time when staffing shortfalls are expected to be severe due to so many experienced teachers not being highly qualified in even one area. So if my spelling is sub-par, I cordially invite all to bite me.

I am in a transition to teaching program, so only now am I taking education classes, and this summer's classes are required for continued employment. If I don't bring her over at the beginning of summer, she would have to come during the school year, when I would not be able to spend the critical first months focused on her. Plus, she would have to navigate too many airports, and suck up the courage to climb aboard bush planes without me.

[jb]

Oosik,

You and Photoguy should get on well together.

[catzenmouse]

Oosik,

You and Photoguy should get on well together.

jb,

 I understand your point but this comment was pretty classless.  There are similarities in the situations but I see more differences.  Oosik has made some very valid points in his favor. Yes, they have a  LOT to learn about each other and about them as a couple. I don't see  this as a situation where they are going at it with blinders on.

JMHO,
 Ken

[jb]

Ken,

Thank you for the "classless" comment. 

As it happens I know Oosik from another life.  While I won't  pretend to judge his latest escapade, I do know he's capable of being  pretty hard headed in many regards, he's very conservative  politically,  (almost qualifies for membership in the KKK), in  addition to being hard to get along with in general.  He has a  fairly volatile temper and can lash out even at people who have been  friendly to him and done him big favors.   He crapped on me  pretty good several years ago after I had gone to no small expense to  help him when he couldn't scrape together enough money to join LTP's  membership.

Frankly, I had hoped he'd given up on finding a FSU wife, as I now don't think he's fit company for man nor beast. 

Unfortunately, he's back.

Added:  Yes, I do hold a grudge for some past injuries.

[Oosik]

Wow,
A) the KKK was started by Southern Democrats, and during reconstruction, it was considered a requirement on Democrats resumes (per US History textbooks). Their targets were blacks and "Radical Republicans".
B) My first post on this board including an apology to you. You posted that you accepted it. Sticking it to me now does seem kind of classless.
C) I never was looking to find either a man nor a beast.