When she just doesn't get it

[GQBlues]

...and speaking of terror and threats, as is the case in the US called out in Stages e.g. Stage 1, Stage 2, etc; the UK had recently raised the highest level of their terrorist threat alert. It went from 'A Bit Apprehensive' to 'Rather Concerned'. LOL.

(Note: Borrowed from Jay Leno's skit. The joke is more a compliment to the gentlemanly ways of our UK brethren than otherwise.)

BTW - I think I may have mistaken X Man from Handycam.

[Handycam72]

BTW - I think I may have mistaken X Man from Handycam.

ooooohhhhhhhhhhhh how could you     

[Shadow]

There are romantic beaches in Sochi and the Crimea.
Thailand is another option.

Last time I was in Turkey they welcomed Americans more than Europeans, perhaps things have changed. As for romantic places, I would suggest the West Coast (Bodrum, Kusadasi) or if it is in the summer even the Black Sea.

[Faux Pas]

...and speaking of terror and threats, as is the case in the US called out in Stages e.g. Stage 1, Stage 2, etc; the UK had recently raised the highest level of their terrorist threat alert. It went from 'A Bit Apprehensive' to 'Rather Concerned'. LOL.

Thats funny. I don't care who you are
 

[NJ]

XMan, I think that by suggesting you to go to Egypt or Turkey your woman is trying to save you some cash. Turkey and Egypt are very affordable and they don't need any visa from Russia\Ukrain. Plus it's very easy to buy any possible tour in any agency. Thailand, Spain and Bwlgaria will cost almost twice more expansive. Places like Barbados, Costa Rica etc. will be times more expansive. In March (not a top season) you can travell to a 4* or 5* hotel in Egypt for less then $500. 

[Aloe]

The only expensive thing about going to Thailand is the tickets. Everything else, i.e. food, accomodation, quality of service, etc are FAR superior and MUCH cheaper than in Turkey.

[docetae]

Isn't a "Xman" a brave comic book character.  Chicken Little seems more appropriate.  Switzerland!  Yep, it's safe (and tidy and boring).

For others, one can go to Cuba as an American if one has a sense of adventure, jumps through some hoops, and is not intimidated by letters from the State Dept (who will never enforce their threats to prosecute visitors - ACLU (or similar) is waiting for them to take it to court). 

The legal key is to not spend any of your own money, just hers (or what you gave her).

I suggest Luxembourg. This is even more safe than switzerland and you do not have the risk to meet the son of a lybian Colonel.

In the case of Xman, this is deep paranoia and the best is probably that he does not meet this woman...(best for the woman)

[KenC]

Am I the only one that finds the OP's title selection ironic here?  He seems to be mocking his GF's point of view on this subject when it is he that is being small minded not her.
KenC

[Kuna]

Am I the only one that finds the OP's title selection ironic here?  He seems to be mocking his GF's point of view on this subject when it is he that is being small minded not her.
KenC

 

I almost posted the exact same thing earlier but I thought I shouldn't... he sounds a little skittish to start with...  Glad you stepped up Ken. 



OP... 
R  E  L  A  X   ...  there are many aspects of this pursuit that requires an adventurous heart.  Let your lady help you grow.  You WILL enjoy it! 

[Faux Pas]

Xman,

You can search the world over and never find the comfort and safety that you do in your own living room, yard, country ect.. I am no fan of the Middle East either for my own personal reasons as well as the ones you mentioned but I would not let that hinder me in my pursuit of RW. Face it, you can get car jacked, killed, hit by a bus not 2 blocks from where you are this second and it doesn't have anything to do with being an American. Just in the wrong place at the wrong time. That can happen anywhere in the world. When it's your time to clock out, you clock out and there's nothing you can do about it. I've never been to Turkey or Egypt but I wouldn't hesitate to travel there to meet a FSUW if that was the most convenient.

You know the deal, the farther either or both of you have to travel from your respective homes, the more expensive and more hassles you will incur. Throw caution to the wind and be an individual Xman for a change.

[kievstar]

July 4th is more dangerous in the USA than serving 2 years in the military in Iraq.  Number of murders and drunk driving accidents is extremely high.

[Gylden]

XMan,

I would recommend to pick a nice place like Greece, Italy, Spain, Portugal and have your girl go to a travel agency and book a tour. Russians are traveling all over Europe with no problems on tours. You arrange your own flight etc. to meet her. It costs a bit more but it is relatively trouble free.

I think you made yourself quite clear about not wanting to travel to Turkey, Egypt etc. You are being honest about it and others should respect your wishes.

Good luck

[myrddin]

XMan, at the risk of repeating some themes here, I will first admit that I shared some of your worry before I went to Turkey.

As it turned out, I had some of the best times of my life in Turkey .  I never once felt particularly unsafe.

Later, I had concern about Egypt.  My thought was, "'secular' Turkey is one thing, but Egypt?!" 

As it turned out, Egypt was absolutely amazing  .  My life would not be the same if we had not gone there, from both traveling and relationship perspectives.  And again, I never felt particularly unsafe.


Don't get me wrong, I don't think you need to go Turkey or Egypt.  Plenty of good alternatives have been presented. 

But I do have to say: your notion of risk management seems odd (and I saw no other reasons for not considering those destinations).  Leaving aside any potential "risk" several thousand people might have tried to manage one Tuesday morning in September a few years ago, you (as most people) very dramatically overestimate the odds of encountering violence in those tourist attractions. 

The risks you take in driving to work, or in, say, seeking a mate from another country, across an ocean, from a dramatically different culture, whose first language is not the same as your own, are far more likely to affect your life.

[Simoni]

Excellent post, myrddin.

[Jumper]

XMan, at the risk of repeating some themes here, I will first admit that I shared some of your worry before I went to Turkey.

As it turned out, I had some of the best times of my life in Turkey .  I never once felt particularly unsafe.

Later, I had concern about Egypt.  My thought was, "'secular' Turkey is one thing, but Egypt?!" 

As it turned out, Egypt was absolutely amazing  .  My life would not be the same if we had not gone there, from both traveling and relationship perspectives.  And again, I never felt particularly unsafe.


Don't get me wrong, I don't think you need to go Turkey or Egypt.  Plenty of good alternatives have been presented. 

But I do have to say: your notion of risk management seems odd (and I saw no other reasons for not considering those destinations).  Leaving aside any potential "risk" several thousand people might have tried to manage one Tuesday morning in September a few years ago, you (as most people) very dramatically overestimate the odds of encountering violence in those tourist attractions. 

The risks you take in driving to work, or in, say, seeking a mate from another country, across an ocean, from a dramatically different culture, whose first language is not the same as your own, are far more likely to affect your life.

not to beat  a dead horse ,
but i agree with all myrddns comments


having been to egypt ,(and several of the other places mentioned)
 your thoughs of risk managment ,  by avoiding vacationing in several regular places.
.
all the while  DATING a RW ,with the intent of marraige,  and traveling to the FSU

seems quite backwards..!!!!

you are embracing the far greater and  tangible risk already..
 

 you really think there are greater dangers  in one of the worlds well known dive locations like *the gardens * of egypt ?
than a beautiful RW?
You'd be bringing the real danger with you !!!

 


Just sayin' 
and giving you a friendly jab.. obviously go where you are both happy,and don't rule out just spending more time with her in her home city or country..


Also i agree with an earlier poster, and was going to bring up the same point that she was likely trying to save you some money.
As the places  where generally viewed as affordable and nearby tourist destinations,
 that are likely less expensive than  some closer ones like  crimea ...


 

[JR]

When she just doesn't get it......


Xman, the problem is she DOES get it and you don't.....gird up you loins and go meet her in Turkey or Egypt.

Back in the early nineties when I first went to Russia there were all kinds of State Dept. warnings against travel to Moscow. Crime, anti-American sentiment, governmentsl instability, you name it. I was overly concerned, but I went and all my concerns evaporated like the vapor they were.

[GQBlues]

Well, if nothing else, if XMan somehow can skirt the issue, all things considered there's always Guantanamo, Cuba. Empty and isolated beaches and a guaranteed 100% Islamic militant incarceration. 

[ECOCKS]

Hmmmm, don't know that the beaches are empty and isolated is open to interpretation I guess. Gitmo has several developed beach areas offering cabanas, cooking grills, restrooms, showers and an adequate roadway for access.

Wouldn't surprise me if someday in the future there's a Holiday Inn beach resort or a Marriott there and maybe we'll even put in a Harrah's or Ballys Casino operation! We already have an airport and a harbor suitable for cruise ships.

[XMan]

I did actually have the best intentions when asking this question. 
But perhaps it was the wrong question to ask. 

I think fewer people fear driving (or other potential hazards) because they feel they are more "in control" of the situation and therefore have a higher comfort level, regardless of whether or not that is actually true. 

I agree the whole search process is fraught with a multitude of hazards. 

I also agree that perhaps no place and nothing is actually "safe."

[Shadow]

I also agree that perhaps no place and nothing is actually "safe."

I think you should reverse that and say that no place and nothing is actually 'unsafe', as long as youare informed about things.

[RussianWind]

Don't get me wrong, I don't think you need to go Turkey or Egypt.  

I strongly disagree. If somebody doesn't want to go somewhere, he shouldn't.

There are no safe places. If you remember last time our dear Canadaman went to the Dominican Rep and there were earthquakes on the island. No fun, pretty scaring.

Although for me it's hard to name Turkey and Egypt romantic, there are no unromantic places because it's people who make the mood.

She is probably afraid she won't get her American visa, so doesn't want to take a risk.

There plenty nice interesting places in Europe, say in the Mediterranean - Cyprus, Crete, Euboea, Rhodes, Lesbos, Chios, Kefalonia, Corfu, Naxos, Andros, Sardinia, Corsica, Sicily, Cres, Krk, Brač, Hvar, Pag, Korčula, Malta, Ibiza, Majorca and Minorca (the Balearic Islands) or Canaries.

P.S. Xmas is not British, he is american. His girl lives in Ukraine but what passport she has?

[myrddin]

I strongly disagree. If somebody doesn't want to go somewhere, he shouldn't.

 ??? RussianWind, I think we're actually saying the same thing about that. 

Don't get me wrong, I don't think you need to go Turkey or Egypt.  Plenty of good alternatives have been presented. 

[RussianWind]

??? RussianWind, I think we're actually saying the same thing about that.  

Yes, sorry. My mistake, I am tired - don't read attentively  

[Dave13]

I had a great time in Phuket Thailand! 

[TheBlackCat]

Xman it seems to me that you are one of these ANALIZING person. I mean you must be one who absolutely NEEDS to check, recheck and then check again every little details. There is nothing wrong with this. I've read your trip report thread so this is why I say this.

Someone mentioned Croatia as a possible destination... Mmmmmm someone like you won't certainly think about the Balkans as a "safer" place to go instead of Turkey or Egypt. Barbados seems like a very good destination.

I do agree with everyone that Turkey, Egypt or Croatia are not at all any more dangerous than going to Ukraine. I also agree that your lady gave you choices that would be cheaper than going in the Carribean. I think in this quest for an international relationship one must have at least a desire to lower it's own level of how are you calling this? Risk management?

Maybe it is time to stop over analyzing, just live the moment and have fun? Relax enjoy your time with her. You will see everything will be fine!