The WOVO vs WMVM debate

[alex330]

I was reading another thread and this topic generated some discussion. I am getting ready for a trip over to the FSU and would normally fly over to visit just one woman but under my circumstances feel it would be foolish not to meet other women there just in case. It goes against all my threads, but I feel it may be necessary in this case. I realize that it is a romance and trust killer for the women and may show that you are not serious or are a player. I think the WMVO approach is probably the best route under normal circumstances. What do you do if you hit it off great with the woman you really care for? You cannot blow off the other women. Thoughts?

[TheBlackCat]

For me to each is own. I am writing only one at the moment as I only have interest in her. I will go meet her in June. Of course it could be either way when we will meet. The back up plan will be to visit a good agency and begin meeting others right there if it doesn't work but really I don't want to think about this now. If I were you I don't think I would tell them I would meet others. I know some of you will disagree though.

[tfcrew]

I don't think I would tell them I would meet others.

Agree
Otherwise do what you can do.

[alex330]

Sounds like your idea is good Black Cat. In this case honesty may not be the best policy unfortunately. Maybe meet several women casually the first day and the next day meet the woman I like the most in case we do hit it off great.
I would just hate to pass up meeting some other great women I have been talking to if there is an issue...

[BC]

I think I'll start an insurance company for WOVO, WMVM...

Premiums will be quite high though me thinks...

[ECOCKS]

Everyone is different. Personally I would WMVM, but the rule actually simply says have a backup plan. That can be getting on Elena's and starting a couple of chats just in case or getting some familiarity with mamba or freepersonals before you go over there. For others, the backup plan may be to simply switch into pure vacation mode and be a tourist/sighseer.

If you WOVO, that's fine, just don't expect much sympathy if you're whining about your blown trip and vacation plans in the event it doesn't work out.

[Kuna]

WMVO with a backup is the perfect solution.

Judging from the success stories / Failures in here over the years I reckon overall VO trips must come out ahead. I have no stats to back that up but it's what I sense from being around here for a while.

It might have something to do with the men who WMVM (we've seen many here who probably weren't that serious in the beginning),  but maybe it's just that the women sense you have lots of options and your eyes (or mind) is wandering.

If you go to meet one and it fails why not go directly to an agency and set up meetings (dates) to get to know a few girls in preparation for your next trip?

I went to meet 3... ended up meeting 2.  My wife was the first I met and after our days together I didn't want to meet #2.  I did and she was nice,  but my mind was on my wife and the time I was wasting away from her.

Keep it simple.  Meet one,  if it doesn't work out call it early and go directly to an agency.

Good luck.

[BC]

WMVO with a backup is the perfect solution.

Judging from the success stories / Failures in here over the years I reckon overall VO trips must come out ahead. I have no stats to back that up but it's what I sense from being around here for a while.

I'm really beginning to think that if you haven't met her already, in one way or other you are SOL regardless of method.

[Shadow]

For me there is no debate.
You should do what comes to you naturally. If you are used to dating multiple women at a time, VM wil work. If you are not, try VO, and keep a backup plan even if the backup plan is seeing the tourist attractions and having a nice vacation.
Your chances are higher if you keep your dating as close as you can to your behaviour at home. Not only for the first meeting but especially further on. It is possible to play a character once to make a woman fall for you. But if the character is not you, the chances of keeping her in the long run are very small.

[alex330]

For me there is no debate.
You should do what comes to you naturally. If you are used to dating multiple women at a time, VM wil work. If you are not, try VO, and keep a backup plan even if the backup plan is seeing the tourist attractions and having a nice vacation.
Your chances are higher if you keep your dating as close as you can to your behaviour at home. Not only for the first meeting but especially further on. It is possible to play a character once to make a woman fall for you. But if the character is not you, the chances of keeping her in the long run are very small.

Good advice. I only date one woman at a time locally.

[TheBlackCat]

Everyone is different. Personally I would WMVM, but the rule actually simply says have a backup plan. That can be getting on Elena's and starting a couple of chats just in case or getting some familiarity with mamba or freepersonals before you go over there. For others, the backup plan may be to simply switch into pure vacation mode and be a tourist/sighseer.

If you WOVO, that's fine, just don't expect much sympathy if you're whining about your blown trip and vacation plans in the event it doesn't work out.

Ecocks I totally agree with you. If it doesn't work with the one I am writing to, well, I certainly won't start writing she's a scammer or anything that close. It hasn't worked and that's all. That would mean an opportunity to meet other women and date just as if it was going out here or through an agency in Moscow. I have been writing many before beginning to write to that one now. It's easy with each days she seems more and more like exactly what I am looking for. Notice that I say seems as until we will meet, of course I can't be totally 100% sure but really I feel like it would be misleading to the others I would write to. Anyway, we talk EVERYDAY on Skype, sms and even talk on the phone. God when I was hospitalized with H1N1 she even was calling me at the hospital. I have no interest at all in other women. That's all. Why should I write other women then? Backup plan? Well you know what I would do. That's my backup plan.

[acrzybear]

WOVO or WMVM depends on the Person.  My personality is such that WMVM doesn't work for me. If for some reason things don't work, you enjoy yourself in a foreign country.

[Shadow]

If you WOVO, that's fine, just don't expect much sympathy if you're whining about your blown trip and vacation plans in the event it doesn't work out.

If you are WMVM, expect the same if all the candidates turned out not to be interested. 

[I/O]

What do you do if you hit it off great with the woman you really care for?

I'd tend to take her to bed........................again.

[Shadow]

I'd tend to take her to bed........................again.

Doesn't your wife object ?  

[Gator]

It sounds like you have a strong interest in just one woman.  If this "one woman" plans to take time off from work to spend all week with you, you would be a son of a bitch to meet other women.  If you will have a lot of downtime, then meet others for tea and cake.

Although you would not volunteer the VM fact, women have good intuition.  And RW are direct.  What will you do when she asks if you are meeting other women?  Starting a relationship with a lie is never good.  What will be her reaction to the truth?  The next three minutes will be critical.

I always considered the initial trip as a scouting trip.  If some pretty dyev captures your fancy, you stay with her and forget the others.  For sure the next trip is a WOVO unless you struck out in your initial trip.  And many men strike out, not just with a WOVO, but with a WMVM as well.

[alex330]

It sounds like you have a strong interest in just one woman.  If this "one woman" plans to take time off from work to spend all week with you, you would be a son of a bitch to meet other women. 

Yes, I just got off the phone with her as well. She has told her mother about me and they are talking grandkids already .... yikes
I will take my chances with the VO.

[GregfromGa]

When are you planning to visit?

[JohnDearGreen]

If you are WMVM, expect the same if all the candidates turned out not to be interested. 

There are two common reasons they will lose interest:
a) She doesn't feel she can compete.
b) She was previously burned by a jerk doing a bad WMVM.  My #2 lady from StP backed out a week before my WMVM trip.  She had been previously engaged to a man who turned out to be a W2VO.  He was doing VO trips, but at separate times to 2 different ladies.  He was engaged to both of them.  He married the other one.  Obviously, she was very turned off by anything resembling a VM.

In either of the above cases, your WMVM trip is probably better off without them.

[alex330]

When are you planning to visit?

I think mid-April would be nice. Comments on time of year anyone?

He was doing VO trips, but at separate times to 2 different ladies.  He was engaged to both of them.  He married the other one.  Obviously, she was very turned off by anything resembling a VM.

What an a hole ... so unfair to waste someones time and play with their emotions.

[GregfromGa]

Mid-April will be ok in Ukraine. I'll never go back to Ukraine in March. Where will you be going?

[Shadow]

There are two common reasons they will lose interest:
a) She doesn't feel she can compete.
b) She was previously burned by a jerk doing a bad WMVM.  My #2 lady from StP backed out a week before my WMVM trip.  She had been previously engaged to a man who turned out to be a W2VO.  He was doing VO trips, but at separate times to 2 different ladies.  He was engaged to both of them.  He married the other one.  Obviously, she was very turned off by anything resembling a VM.

In either of the above cases, your WMVM trip is probably better off without them.

You forget the most important one:
There is no chemistry.

[JR]

I have always advocated two things, WMVM and do your own thing With that said I am about to embark on a VO, go figure...

WOVOs carrry another negative side to them that don't get much discussion. That being the fact that WOVO's require a fairly strong sense of self worth on the man's part. The urge to settle for Mrs. Not Right or Not Quite Right will be high in order to protect your investment of money, time, vacation. You have to be willing to walk away in the first few minutes or anytime there after from all the months of letter writing, phone calls, flowers, hopes, expectations and day dreaming of Happily Everafter.

[JohnDearGreen]

You forget the most important one:
There is no chemistry.

The usual most important problem is that she isn't having "fun".  All I asked is that she showed up at the ballpark.  Some will strike out.  Show her a good time, buy her some peanuts and cracker jacks,  she won't care if she never gets back:
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1s-5tY0s-Q[/youtube]

[IAmZon]

BINGO!  JR hit the problem nail right on the head.  Too many blanks are filled in by each party positively, without just clarification that only comes through a natural process of communication and time, when intentions are premature and rushed.

WOVOs carrry another negative side to them that don't get much discussion. That being the fact that WOVO's require a fairly strong sense of self worth on the man's part. The urge to settle for Mrs. Not Right or Not Quite Right will be high in order to protect your investment of money, time, vacation. You have to be willing to walk away in the first few minutes or anytime there after from all the months of letter writing, phone calls, flowers, hopes, expectations and day dreaming of Happily Everafter.