Im talking to my Moscow girlfriends mom. (translate)

[GregfromGa]

I agree Faux Pas. I dont think him posting on a forum asking for some advice on how to handle a situation is what threw a monkey wrench into this budding relationship. My advice is to move on. There are millions of other girls that will appreciate a guy that is gainfully employed. Several years down the road it will be interesting to see where the two parties in this are at. My guess is the girl will still be looking.

[iDjots]

Thanks to you all who were involved and tried to help me understand what was going on.
And thanks to you all who PM' me with tips.

This is it not public nor any names involved so dont worry Feya. This was just me trying to understand you.
I wanted you to understand that i was serious all the time, and thats why i sent you the link.

When a man loves a women and commited himself he'll do everything to make it happen.
I think most of the men here agree with me.

I don't want this to be wierd Jerry Springer show on the web.
I tried everything and she is not worth it, it seems.
I hope life treats you kind.

[GregfromGa]

Thanks to you all who were involved and tried to help me understand what was going on.
And thanks to you all who PM' me with tips.

This is it not public nor any names involved so dont worry Feya. This was just me trying to understand you.
I wanted you to understand that i was serious all the time, and thats why i sent you the link.

When a man loves a women and commited himself he'll do everything to make it happen.
I think most of the men here agree with me.

I don't want this to be wierd Jerry Springer show on the web.
I tried everything and she is not worth it, it seems.
I hope life treats you kind.

Good answer. Now get back on that horse and go find your sudba. You were only trying to understand the girl. These gals from the FSU can be very complex at times. Most of the time, make that all of the time. One needs to throw out all reason and logic when trying to deal with them. Good luck. You'll need all of it you can get if you continue down this path. In the meantime just have some fun.

[tfcrew]

Since 1 year back we've been in a relationship....
 We've meet in Italy, Egypt, India, Moscow, Stockholm...
What is the best way for her to know that im serious with her and to prove it to her mom.

That surely is some extensive travel in the course of a year.
Which one is it you would be marrying..the lady or her mom?
 

[CharlesR]

Well its better to find out now what she will tolorate. It would be a shame to marry her, get her over here, get in an aurguement and have her tell you she doesnt want to play house no more. If she can base her decision that hes not the one she wants to spend her life with due to a forum post then I say good luck to her in finding that perfect guy who will never piss her off. What if a real issue arose?

[daveyj]

The lady in question has referenced this thread as being offensive to her, and having lowered her opinion of a guy who seemed to love her.

As such I respectfully suggest to the board members that continuing to post here on the topic will only further confuse things between the couple in question and we should all step back. This is the live action end of a year long relationship, and I don't think anyone's opinions are going to help the couple at this time.  My 2 cents.

[GQBlues]

Great!!! I'm not a mouse that you can make tests on. And actually it's not the first time you are doing this. So I'm fed up......First, you say that you are going to make a proposal and then you are saying that you'll see how it'll be and then decide. The most weird thing is that you gave me this link so I could read it all. That is a kinder-garden way of behavior. You wanted me to see how honest and cool you are?! I don't understand.

Therein lies the caveat...sad.

1. "Testing women" is one of the favorite advice men give other men when things get a bit rough. LOL. Wait until you get to the 'private investigator' chapter.

2. Seeking relationship advice from men from the internet you not only DO NOT know, but more importantly not knowing how they would conduct themselves in similar fashion, is as dangerous as asking an addict how to kick the habit.

"...So take care, I really loved you! But not anymore...  

[Boethius]

Well I guess that's that. Too bad for the ole boy. There is nothing weak or childish in the boy trying to prove to you that he really cared for you and wanted to marry you. He hoped your mother who is hopefully wiser would help him out, explain some things, give him her blessings. Hopefully the iDjots will rebound. I can promise him that if he's a nice guy there is no reason in having to jump through rings of fire to please some girl. If you're only 25 then you have lots of time. If you have the resources and the time to travel there will be lots and lots of more appreciative women out there. Dont get yourself all worked up and bent out of shape for 1 mama's girl in Moscow. When you find your sudba, you'll look back on this and thank your lucky stars. By the way, who was paying for all these great vacations? Just curious.

How do you prove you care for a woman by imploring your feelings to her mother?  Or "testing" her?  Isn't it kind of stupid to expect a young woman to marry you because her mother thinks it's a good idea?  A woman loves you or she doesn't.  End of story.

[Handycam72]

iDjots.

Interesting name you have chosen.

So who exactly is/are the idjots ? 

[BillyB]

Wow...didn't expect that my ex-boyfriend would bring everything up to a public place.

Feya, you are still young and not very tolerant. You and everyone else here is as anonymous as you and everyone else want to be. I'm sure you talked to your friends and family behind your boyfriends back on whether or not to proceed with him so what you and everyone else does talking about your current man/woman and asking for advice isn't much different.

Your boyfriend wanted to come here sincerely seeking answers to find the best way to make a life with you. He's humble enough to admit he does not have all the answers but the answer is important because you are important to him.

He should not have given you a link here. His conversation with us here is not a private conversation with you which should be done separately. His bad judgement call bringing you here is a fault of his. You have a right to be unhappy with his mistake. Ask yourself does one man's fault dismiss all that is good about him?

iDjots, if Feya leaves you for good over this one incident, then she never had a strong bond with you. Maybe she isn't tolerant, maybe you screwed up a number of times and this is the last straw, or maybe she was never really into you. On your next woman figure out how to create a bond to the point you're confident about which way your relationship is going and you don't need so many unknowns answered.

[Boethius]

Before seeking a relationship with another woman, he needs to cut the apron strings to Mama as well.  Having Mom text feya indicates he is still a boy, not ready for an adult relationship.  Feya was right to kick him to the curb over that alone.

[groovlstk]

I'm sure you talked to your friends and family behind your boyfriends back on whether or not to proceed with him so what you and everyone else does talking about your current man/woman and asking for advice isn't much different.

Complete BS. Private discussions with one's friends and family are not equivalent to posting the experience on the internet for strangers to read and comment on.

Not even close.

[BillyB]

Complete BS. Private discussions with one's friends and family are not equivalent to posting the experience on the internet for strangers to read and comment on.

Not even close.

Talking behind someone's back is still talking behind someone's back whether it's with family, friends, or with cyber strangers where everyone is anonymous. What a person should worry about is what is said behind their back. If I found a woman talking good stuff about me and trying to get advice on how to get closer to me, I'd be flattered.

[Ade]

If I found a woman talking good stuff about me and trying to get advice on how to get closer to me, I'd be flattered.

Yes, but you are a man if I'm not mistaken.

Either way, it's irrelevant what you, the pope or Mr T thinks. What matters is that, for whatever reason, there are women out there that get offended by being talked about by strangers on the net. It's as simple as that. Some will say that those women aren't worth the trouble, and I say that's an incredibly ignorant and quite stupid comment.

[Boethius]

Seeking relationship advice from men from the internet you not only DO NOT know

[GregfromGa]

Move on my friend. She's just not worth all the drama. If she's getting all worked up about you asking for advice then how do you think she'll be when she wants the Lexus. You did nothing wrong by coming here asking for advice and opinion. After all what is this place here for. You thought you were doing the right thing to give her the link but that backfired. It's not like you posted photos of her. You didn't get into explicit detail. Like I said there is at least a million of them out there. Now who paid for the vacations?

[BillyB]

 What matters is that, for whatever reason, there are women out there that get offended by being talked about by strangers on the net. It's as simple as that.

What matters is too many people would take an incident like this too seriously and those people need to be avoided. Why mess with it? The OP and others in the same boat need to find more tolerant people who doesn't explode at every minor incident that happens in life. It's one thing if someone was ripping on another person behind their back, it's entirely different if they express fondness. I can see it now, guy confesses love for his woman to a bunch of strangers and it's considered a valid reason to break up.

Boethius, it's true there are a variety of reasons a car engine could stall. The advice was sound.

[tfcrew]

  I   suggest to the board members that continuing to post here on the topic will only further confuse things between the couple in question and we should all step back.    My 2 cents.

These forums are not reserved thusly.
This is an open board and all are free to discuss.

[I/O]

Dr Phil anywhere...............? This thread is rubbish if ever I have seen it. BTW Billy, if you worry about a lady discussing you or anything about you with her friends, family or other, I suggest you quit on RW's. They discuss everything...!!

[brave girl]

2. Seeking relationship advice from men from the internet you not only DO NOT know, but more importantly not knowing how they would conduct themselves in similar fashion, is as dangerous as asking an addict how to kick the habit.

Or maybe also from the nice Russian Woman??     brave girl

[feya_meluzina]

For some curious people - mostly he was paying for vacations. But it's not the most important thing. And it was important for him also. Because he was brought up like this. In spite of all swedish guys' behavior - not paying for girls, he is different. He thinks that a man has to support his woman in everything - advice, money etc. But a girl is not supposed to stay at home and do nothing.

Everything was ok, we matched each other greatly. But it didn't work out. So what is this discussion about!

[I/O]

So what is this discussion about!

If any of it is real, it looks rather like to spoiled children competing to be the centre of attention.

[Ade]

If any of it is real, it looks rather like to spoiled children competing to be the centre of attention.

Seems to me people are drawing conclusions and judging based on literally no information as usual.

 

[GregfromGa]

For some curious people - mostly he was paying for vacations. But it's not the most important thing. And it was important for him also. Because he was brought up like this. In spite of all swedish guys' behavior - not paying for girls, he is different. He thinks that a man has to support his woman in everything - advice, money etc. But a girl is not supposed to stay at home and do nothing.

Everything was ok, we matched each other greatly. But it didn't work out. So what is this discussion about!

The discussion is about the two of you. That's why we are here and we are here to help. At least some of us are here to help. This place certainly has it's share of toolboxes that doesnt offer up much in the way of solid advices. So you guys went on some nice vacations and of course he payed for all of this. You thought he was a weak man because he asked your mom for her wishes because you are the only child and it's obvious that you are spoiled. So did the sex occur? With all these terrific vacations I would hope so. At 25 my dear you only have a few good years left and then you start to go downhill fast unless you are a sport woman and are engaged in some rigorous daily training program. I'm going to need a little more specifics in terms of the relationship before I really offer up my prescription. I must say that the future doesnt look too good right now. I'll need to see some pictures of the two of you together as well as pictures of mama just to see what we might be dealing with here some 30 years down the road. I dont thik I can save this but I can at least help Idjots in the recovery process. As far as Feya is concerned well I'm sure you have guys standing in line to take you to warm and exotic places with summer just around the corner. This is about the healing now. This is about getting back in the saddle. This is about plenty of other fishes in the sea. Once again I'll need more information. I'm waiting.

[ECOCKS]

It certainly looks like this relationship has gone in the right direction.

Some naivete, good times, fantasy fulfillment, heartache and heartbreak are to be expected in this endeavor. It's why smart people date and keep questioning in an effort to find the right person for them to (hopefully) spend their life with.

Idjots, as someone advised you further upthread, collect yourself and then consider what you can do to pick someone better (for you) next time. You sound like you understand the importance of dating in a variety of situations to get to know the person but many here think you may have overdone the foreign travel. Since you didn't seem to complain much about the expense maybe this travel pace is normal for you. If so, as long as you provided a realistic picture of the life she could expect well, you're doing the right things. Stay honest, realistic and don't think you can overcome personality differences with money.

This affair played out pretty well, both of you learned that the other just wasn't the right one.

Well played, Sir (and Mam).