Scam Scam everywhere a Scam

[IAmZon]

Earlier today I wrote: "So achieving the right balance between being hopeful yet not allowing yourself to see red flags and insincerity is a requirement." I know what I was trying to say, but never post on a hang over and little sleep.

What I meant to say echos some of the more recent input from Avis.   If you are a too hard of grader, you never let things take hold. A relationship never can develops.  I think this pursuit requires "drinking the KoolAid" ... meaning making oneself believe a little more than a sober mind ought.   By putting oneself in this mindset, it goes beyond mere optimism.  That is why my comment about luck playing a larger role is important.  I think the odds are really not in favor of success. 

That does not mean the best outcomes are unattainable. 
==========
Regarding Gator's comment about toe in the water and years of looking from the sideline:  I admittedly use this board incorrectly. 

Early on, after my divorce, I found RWD and enjoyed the rather high level of dialogue that sometimes is found here.  In actuality, however, my journey took me in another direction - South America.  I HAVE lived in the USA, the Caribbean, and South America much of the time over the last 4 years (I am outside the US as I write this now).  So, I have not been a person of inaction.

I have not been quick to marry that is true.  And, I do not regret that.

I know from my extended period in other cultures how important language and cultural understanding is.  I have a good understanding of my choices in Latin America.  This is not true of Russia and Ukraine for me.  Since luck plays so much a factor of a successful cross cultural marriage, it seems I require less luck in Latin America.  While I am single, I continue to weigh the possibilities (including Russia and Ukraine).   I wish there was a board equal to RWD that focused on my actual areas of involvement.

[Avis]

Was that with no pressure coming from your SO (refusing to use it) or with some pressure?

Well, he said he'd like to see me, but that's fine if I don't feel like that.
In 1.5 months time he became more persistent, asking for at least 10 seconds of video I think he might have got a bit suspicious about me (eventhough he never admitted that ).

Me personally, I was reluctant to use Skype video as IMO it can make a wrong (even bad) impression on someone who's never met you in real life. I just didn't want to scare him 

[Ade]

Was that with no pressure coming from your SO (refusing to use it) or with some pressure?

Ditto for SeriouslyJaded?

This may sound a little strange, funny even, but we never thought of it. At first we were exchanging 10 or 20 emails a day, sometimes just one liners, sometimes with pictures, and it seemed enough.

Sure I went through the usual, "send flowers to her address", check the scammer sites, etc, routines at the beginning so I knew she existed and it was enough with our emails to figure out that she was worth going to visit, which I did 2 months after our first email exchange. After that, we continued with our emails interspersed with SMSes until our next meeting 2 months later when she came to me for a month.

During one conversation a few months ago we even commented on this, and both shaking our heads as we couldn't quite figure out why each of us never suggested we video chat on Skype.   Silly really but I guess we just didn't feel the need. But it's certainly not something I'd recommend to anyone else as it's a wonderful tool to get to know someone.

[Gator]

 I wish there was a board equal to RWD that focused on my actual areas of involvement.

Are you saying that the men who pursue Latin women are not as stimulating?   Perhaps their energy has been sapped by those Latin firecrackers.

[IAmZon]

I think I am lucky that my subscriptions to Elanas and RussianEuro are due to expire.  If I am a tough grader all I see are SCAMS, or the high possibilities of SCAMS.   ( With Elanas there are far fewer SCAMS, but there are other issues - glamor photography for one

Anyway ... this seemingly nice woman who is very attractive ( for a blond and I prefer brunettes) just wrote to me this email on my personal email.  I am thinking it is a patterned scamaro. 

- age difference does not matter to me.  (red flag 1)
- stereotype of Russian men and American women (red flag 2)
WHAT SAY YOU?   I do not want to waste my time anymore ...

Hello! Thanks for your message.It was pleasant to me to learn, that you have decided to finish the membership on a site because you have got acquainted with me. It means for me much!
You forgive me my English. I never wrote letters in English earlier. It is difficult for me. But I very much try, that you could understand my thoughts.
Thanks for your photos. At me a question. On one of photos you stand in an environment of two extraordinary beautiful women. Who they? I am from Voronezh. I have finished the Saratov state academy of the right. Now I work as the assistant to the deputy in Voronezh. Work very much is pleasant to me. I rent apartment. I should bear financial expenses independently. I have mum and the daddy. My mum is a the oculist. My father is a the employee of militia. I love the parents. I have also the grandmother and the grandfather. They live in settlement Podgornoe.
 I am the sports girl (fitness, jogging, skating in the winter). I love music, cinema, to read the romantic and psychological literature. If you wish to know still something, set questions. That you could have full idea about my appearance, I put the photos to the present letter. I hope, that it is pleasant to you!
 By the way, probably you are excited with our age difference. I wish to tell to you, that if it did not suit me, you would not receive from me the letter. The adult man - the clever, skilled and understanding man. With him to find understanding much easier.
 Now I wish to tell about the search. You will ask, why the man from other country? Among Russian men there are good people, but such men are already married))) I heard much, read about foreigners. Russian men are loose and immoral. Foreigners have other mentality and vital priorities. I heard, that foreign women lose the feminity. They think of family creation, children and the husband less. They think of career more. Is that valid so? I wish to find the man with whom I will feel as behind a stone wall which would love me and saw in me the woman. I am ready to give the love if I will feel reciprocity. Probably it not so is simple - to find the similar man. But I do not lose hope, therefore I was registered on a site. I do not wish to sit on the Internet for years in search of the partner, but also I do not wish to hurry up with conclusions and resolute actions. To see in the person the person and to understand it time is necessary.
 I wish to set to you some questions. How for a long time you are on a site? What do you wish to find? Have you a dream? I will be happy to receive from you the answer. With the best regards, G

[Gator]

Rivardco,

She is telling you what you want to hear, yet I have heard some of the same from sincere women (e. g., good RM are already married).  The difference is that it came later in our communications, and your dyev is very young that many RM her age have not yet married.

How long has she been on EM?  If a long time, you probably can trust her as EM deletes the scam artists.

Call her.  She probably has Skype.  If her English is too bad to talk, then drop her.

WARNING:  If you go forward, you should be careful.  If you mistreat her, her father will get his army buddies to pound your ass.     Or her mother ( an "ocultist") will call upon supernatural forces from the occult.   

[IAmZon]

yep.  The woman in the photos is too attractive to be whining for attention (she wrote me three times before I answered).

More concerning still is that this woman did not come from Elenas - a rather trust worthy site.  RussianEuro polices much less it seems.  I will not reply until I get a little more feedback because I am 50% 50%

(However, Kristina, the only woman I have actually been excited to meet in months, maybe years, was the same.  She wrote to me and I her and then a very predictable course of communication lasted for 10 - 14 days.  It had a BZZZZ.  But when I required web cam just to make sure she was not a man - I got no web cam.  I had a Russian woman who is a friend read her letters, and she felt strongly that Kristinas use of slang would be very very difficult for a Russian women who has never left the country.  PLUS, she was supposed to be a manager of a computer store !  come on.  So why waste my time?!?  Why waste hers ( or his )? 

[IAmZon]

Gotta love this ... the woman's email address

alonepusy@rambler.ru"  <alonepusy@rambler.ru>
...


Am I seeing things?

[Shadow]

For a first letter it is not a decisive scam. She is writing about something she sees in your profile, and asking questions rather than stating it as truth.
Based on the letter I would say that if good English is a requirement you might as well drop her, as this was made by help of an online translator.
As for her e-mail, if her name happens to be Aliona, she might not have sufficient English to understand what it might imply.

On the other hand you could of course be correct.

[Faux Pas]

rivardco
Looks to me that is a real woman there as opposed to a bonafide scammer. Doesn't mean she isn't looking to scam you. She's obviously looked at your profile and she's asked you questions apparently relating to it. The downside is, she is telling you what any lonely Western man sitting at home, pounding his pud without a date would like to hear. How wide is the age gap?

[IAmZon]

FP - you might be right.   Age Gap? She is 27 which does not offend me.  I probably ought to settle down with a woman who is 28 - 32.  I am 46.  Doubt I will live full time in the USA, so it is a different matter.

I am single and everyone I date is not a candidate for marriage.  I don't have anything against dating women in the early 20's.   It does sort of define the relationship - it is what it is.

This is a new email I received and seems more real to me.  We will see.

Hello Timothy.
Thanks for giving me your email address, it was very pleasant to get it
and just great that you agreed to communicate by email, i think that it
will be really nice and will help us to get to know each other better, right?
Ok in any way i am going sleep now, as feel very tired after hard working
day, will write you more tomorrow and also will wait for your soon reply
and you are free to ask me any questions you want to know about me and
i will answer you with great pleasure)))
I hope that you will like my photos and i will wait for your soon ones)))

[Faux Pas]

FP - you might be right.   Age Gap? She is 27 which does not offend me.  I probably ought to settle down with a woman who is 28 - 32.  I am 46.  Doubt I will live full time in the USA, so it is a different matter.

I am single and everyone I date is not a candidate for marriage.  I don't have anything against dating women in the early 20's.   It does sort of define the relationship - it is what it is.

rivardco
Probably too early to discount her a scammer at this point. At least with the info you've shown thus far. A 27 year old might be more open to a 19 yr age difference as opposed to a 22-23 but, there is ample reason to approach with caution. He last email was cheesy in a scammer sort of way but, I agree with Gator, it just as easily could have been written by a sincere woman. It doesn't seem to be a start of a scam where she'll ask for money. If not sincere, probably a prodater if she's got the stunning good looks

[Aloe]

- When I gave the letters to a Russian translator, she observed that the use of English was often too fluent and used slang and casual speech in a way that a real Russian women who studied, but did not use English on a daily basis could simply never use.

who says she doesn't use english every day ? Or at least hears it, maybe. I've been watching movies in english since i turned 14, plenty of slang there. (250 gb of movies a month , 4-8 gb a movie)

[BillyB]

Hey Riv, your letters are canned. They are cut and paste for all men the lady is writing to. Doesn't mean a scammer yet but if a woman wants me to get on a plane for her, I need personal attention. Letters have to ask me personal questions about my life and replies have to comment on my answers. Since I got kids, a lady has to ask questions about them too if she someday wants to be a mother to them.

[IAmZon]

From the blond - I see these early confessions of a broken heart often.  Also the playful flirtation  -Seduces me on second letter seems a little forward for a normal letter.  Again, the woman sends three photos that rank 8 - 9 on a scale to 10.  What say you?

Hello dear T! I am happy to see your letter. I did not think, that I will receive the answer. I also wish to thank you for answers to my questions! It means for me much - you really are interested in me! It seduces me)))
Now I wish to ask you about your last relations. Why you alone? What has occurred? That you could trust in me a little and come nearer on one step, I also will tell to you about the experience. He was at me not so good. I had many guys in the life. But my relations did not come too far as in me saw only a doll and concerned as a callous subject. Once at conference at institute I have got acquainted with one young man. Between us as though the spark has slipped. We began to meet. The first months we had the impetuous and passionate novel. Then we lived together 1,5 years. We had disagreements and misunderstandings in relations. I have suggested him to have a rest from each other couple of weeks. There has passed week. A call to a door. I open, and on a threshold there is he and still any young person. He has explained to me, that a month later at them wedding. You even cannot present, that to me have occurred. My life has turned over. My world and dreams have failed on an equal place! I could go through this blow. And again I look at a life with a positive and hope in the light future.
I think, that my story has given you now more representations about my character. I the person loyal and kind. At times I happen trustful. Probably it is my bad line, but the person cannot be ideal.
I hope, that I have not forced you to miss the present letter, and you soon will answer me too. I wish you good mood!

[tim 360]

Well,  she certainly has a great story to tell you.  Her story needs a little work--like maybe a better translation for openers.  There must be something magnetic about you to attract all these feeme fatales.  I just know you are the right guy to rescue this guy err girl and give her a positive life with hope.

[Gator]

Riv,

Did she volunteer the part about her past relationship, or did you ask a question?  Her description is confusing yet reveals nothing special, just life.  She kicks him out, so how does it reveal she is loyal? 

In my opinion this RW is very young or immature .  Immaturity usually means stupid.  You can't fix stupid.

I corresponded mostly with older women.  None would in their second letter (?) start telling me about past relationships.  Most say the past is past and do not want to recall it.  They looked to the future with hope and optimism.  Questions were about the future. 

[IAmZon]

nice input Gator - you can't fix stupid.   Amen.

Increasingly, I think that the age / league I target for is best / only possible in real life for me.  This online stuff is for the birds!  PFFFF.  And is real world experience really possible for me in the Russian / Ukrainian culture ... it requires much time and exposure to do correctly.  Plus I have no foundation or cultural reference?


Meanwhile, my command of the Spanish language has finally risen to the level where I can meet and network at will in  Argentina / Chile / and the best of Colombia and Venezuela. I have spent MUCH time understanding the Latin American culture.  I like it.  I prefer the Spanish look (Penelope Cruise works best for me) anyway.  With better language skills, I can find intelligent women in the Southern Cone ... but it is harder.  These ladies love their "linda Chile."  Argentinians are a little touch on the outside too. But I can make this work for me.  Pretty much have written off Russia / Ukraine at this point.   But I still am fond of you crusty old farts:)

Bien Suerte

[Rina_G]

Hi guys!
I've read and got - why I'm scammer
if you write:
Hi guy! Nice to meet you!
someone think - indeed - she is scammer!
just one question - what you want to find here and there?
many scammers or one wife?
It seems to me - first

[ML]

Immaturity usually means stupid. 

Did you really mean to say this?  Or is it just a typo?
Surely you can't believe it.

Many, many more people are immature as compared to those who are stupid.
In fact, aren't we all (by definition) immature during some given time period?

[Gator]

For the purpose of my statement, please don't confuse young, innocent or even naivete with immaturity.  My use of "immature" in this post is in a relative sense - not having developed emotionally as other women of the same age and experience.  In another context, you may be correct.

If we are picking nits, why would you call this a typo?  This seems to have a condescending tone.

And yes, I not only believe it, I have lived it.  Every smart woman I have met seems ahead of the curve (eliminating "booksmart" women, who are not necessarily smart).  They grasp quickly their experiences and seek new experiences. 

Some people just don't get it even after experiencing it.

[Rina_G]

Hi guys!
this morning was rich on scam and I would like to show you what letters get odinary woman in searching
 I put this letter as I got it
***
i must be upfront and very direct with you, I am an extremely affectionate and sexual man i love to show my woman affection in public as well in private i love when my woman does very sexy things to me and for me to make me smile like i do for her,as for what i do, i work in a warehouse and live in LA California,i do not play games, what i am looking for is serious i am also a hardy male meaning i like things outdoors in the raw of nature, so after reading this and you are still interested in me please tell me about yourself and how affectionate you are and send me your lovely photos so i can see your face and body to my mail and i will send you mine, this is the kind of woman i am looking for if you think this is you please let me know.....I am direct and open i am not afraid of any questions you might have and i hope you can handle the fact that i am blunt in who i am and any answers i have to your questions.i am very outgoing and i love the outdoors as well as laying back watching movies or listening to music i am a light smoker and an occasional drinker.blackbuddababy*** at yahoo. com so please send me mail and your photos......
***
for fun - what you see in it?
and after I say - what I see in it
don't doubt - there are so many wise men here
good luck!

[Seeker]

Hi guys!
this morning was rich on scam and I would like to show you what letters get odinary woman in searching
 I put this letter as I got it
***
i must be upfront and very direct with you, I am an extremely affectionate and sexual man i love to show my woman affection in public as well in private i love when my woman does very sexy things to me and for me to make me smile like i do for her,as for what i do, i work in a warehouse and live in LA California,i do not play games, what i am looking for is serious i am also a hardy male meaning i like things outdoors in the raw of nature, so after reading this and you are still interested in me please tell me about yourself and how affectionate you are and send me your lovely photos so i can see your face and body to my mail and i will send you mine, this is the kind of woman i am looking for if you think this is you please let me know.....I am direct and open i am not afraid of any questions you might have and i hope you can handle the fact that i am blunt in who i am and any answers i have to your questions.i am very outgoing and i love the outdoors as well as laying back watching movies or listening to music i am a light smoker and an occasional drinker.blackbuddababy*** at yahoo. com so please send me mail and your photos......
***
for fun - what you see in it?
and after I say - what I see in it
don't doubt - there are so many wise men here
good luck!

My personal opinion is that you could do better than him.  But I do think there are men like this, and women that are looking for the same thing.  As odd as it might seem, there really is someone for every type. 

But it helps to know there are men that sound worse than me in what they write.   

[Rina_G]

thanks Seeker
lets continue - what's your opinion 
1. how many women he send this mail of?
2. how many replies from real women did he get?

[Seeker]

thanks Seeker
lets continue - what's your opinion 
1. how many women he send this mail of?
2. how many replies from real women did he get?

My guess is:

1.  Many

2.  Few... if any.  But still he tries. 

I guess this is a scam in a sense.  Or just fishing to see what happens.  But I see little hope for someone sending this email.  But I have been wrong before.  I know one 10 year marriage that is a perfect example.  I said it would never work...  (similar man... different message) but after 10 years and 4 kids they are still going strong.  And one of them is my daughter... so watch what you say guys.  She is not an ex... or up for dating any of you.