hello everyone :)

[JohnDearGreen]

good response? ...   not sure i understand what  do you mean.

Hello Yuliya,

You ask what I wanted to see.  Obviously a few good photos that show your best side are initially important,  as well as interests that match mine.  If the lady has a sparkling personality, a short video will show that. 

I haven't read all your posts but it sounds like you have made smart decisions in your search,
but you have not yet succeeded.  Note that many of the men who are searching in FSU have also previously spent a number of years searching unsuccessfully in their own country. 

Here is another approach that might work for a lady:

A)  Create a unique email address different from the one used on the web site registrations,
such as SuzyQ1234@yahoo.com

B)  Many of the internet and email providers allow you to create your personal web page.  Create a home page with her pictures and video and a short bio profile of herself.
Make it available to the search engines. 

C)  Register at as many web sites as necessary.   Of course in her profiles she will usually have her first name, city,  occupation,  birth date, and various other key words.

D)  Include those same exact key words on her personal home page (first name, city, occupation, etc.). On her home page, also include the unique email created.  Don't speciy SuzyQ1234@yahoo.com as she would get many spam emails.  Instead, specify something like "SuzyQ1234 on yahoo email".

The smarter and more serious men will do web searches after reading her profile.  They will find her personal home page, and email her at her SuzyQ1234 email address.

[mialia]

Unfortunately it is so; but don't get discouraged.  Five months is nothing; just to put things into perspective for you, it took me 3 years to find my perfect guy.  Three years of sorting through tons of plankton to find a golden fish.  But in the end, it's totally worth it.

Of course it would be nice if only serious guys who planned to visit ever wrote you, but alas, big expectations will bring big disappointment.  Keep swimming and keep searching.  Keep your expectations low and your standards high. Sometimes, just looking for true friends on the internet, without a larger purpose, may ultimately lead you to find your destiny.    

One more thing; if you find that those men who write you are invariably low quality, perhaps it's time to reconsider your strategy and become a little more proactive in your search.  Maybe rewrite your profile as well. 

hi thank you for the reply

it is always nice to hear that it worked out so well for somebody with their research makes me feel more confident about it being possible for me too )) anyway... i will agree with mr. Faux Pas in the question of "blind luck" making a big influence on the results and timing... But... all the luck in the world will not make the water to run under the laying stone, as we say in my country ) so i agree with you too, about necessarity to keep moving and "sort through tons of plankton to find one golden fish" .
what about rewriting my profile and bla bla bla - believe me or not i was thinking exactly the way you said )). So i've hide my profile, while i'm having this break - i hired good professional photografer to make new high quality pictures, i signed up here to learn more, to escape some mistakes in future, as much as its possible. when pictures will be ready - i'll come back to my search with new knowledges and "new face"
i do keep my standarts high, because i do know exactly what i'm offering and i offer a lot
now i need to learn how to curb my high expectations ))

[mialia]

Hello Yuliya,

You ask what I wanted to see.  Obviously a few good photos that show your best side are initially important,  as well as interests that match mine.  If the lady has a sparkling personality, a short video will show that. 

I haven't read all your posts but it sounds like you have made smart decisions in your search,
but you have not yet succeeded.  Note that many of the men who are searching in FSU have also previously spent a number of years searching unsuccessfully in their own country. 

Here is another approach that might work for a lady:

A)  Create a unique email address different from the one used on the web site registrations,
such as SuzyQ1234@yahoo.com

B)  Many of the internet and email providers allow you to create your personal web page.  Create a home page with her pictures and video and a short bio profile of herself.
Make it available to the search engines. 

C)  Register at as many web sites as necessary.   Of course in her profiles she will usually have her first name, city,  occupation,  birth date, and various other key words.

D)  Include those same exact key words on her personal home page (first name, city, occupation, etc.). On her home page, also include the unique email created.  Don't speciy SuzyQ1234@yahoo.com as she would get many spam emails.  Instead, specify something like "SuzyQ1234 on yahoo email".

The smarter and more serious men will do web searches after reading her profile.  They will find her personal home page, and email her at her SuzyQ1234 email address.

sounds like a good idea

thank you will try to follow it

[Daveman]

I always looked for profiles where the lady just looked like she'd be a lot of fun to be around. Happy looking photos, "smiling eyes", her words showing a glimpse of her brain and sense of humor.  Playful attitude (all overly serious people should be tossed into the sea for the amusement of the rest of us).   

Pretty simple really, but not so easy to find.

[I/O]

now i need to learn how to curb my high expectations

I disagree with this but understand the point being made. IMO, if you "expect" nothing, that's exactly what you'll receive.

IMO a profile should carry 3 meaningfull and accurate photos. The man you marry will be pleasantly surprised when he meets you face to face rather than disappointed because your photos weren't accurate or were "shopped" too much. Information should contain the basics and the personal message should be less than 50 words ("If I'd had more time I'd have written a shorter letter" type principal).

[mialia]

I disagree with this but understand the point being made. IMO, if you "expect" nothing, that's exactly what you'll receive.

IMO a profile should carry 3 meaningfull and accurate photos. The man you marry will be pleasantly surprised when he meets you face to face rather than disappointed because your photos weren't accurate or were "shopped" too much. Information should contain the basics and the personal message should be less than 50 words ("If I'd had more time I'd have written a shorter letter" type principal).

well, no one here is going to extrem, as you did just now )). there is a huge difference, IMHO, between curbing the expectations, making it more down to earth, and expecting nothing. I'm going to do first because me too i prefer to be surprised more than to be disappointed What about short personal message - agree with you on 200 percents from 100 available:))). message should be short, eye-catchy, humorous and intriguing

[SFandEE]

I understand that for any of us having only the best correspondence would be ideal.  I was curious what amount of letters a day it took to get those great contacts.  Sounds like it is quite a bit.  I really had no idea how many letters a sincere woman might receive in a day.

Because of this thread I have looked into Mamba.ru.  Not sure quite what to think yet, but from the sound of it I should have low expectations.  I have not figured out how to identify women from FSU who are interested in men from the West.

[mialia]

I understand that for any of us having only the best correspondence would be ideal.  I was curious what amount of letters a day it took to get those great contacts.  Sounds like it is quite a bit.  I really had no idea how many letters a sincere woman might receive in a day.

Because of this thread I have looked into Mamba.ru.  Not sure quite what to think yet, but from the sound of it I should have low expectations.  I have not figured out how to identify women from FSU who are interested in men from the West.

well... i would say you should look at it from the different angle... not FSUW and USAM....  first of all we are just Men and Women, who are looking for their soulmate..  only then it comes FSU and USA.... So don't try to identify women from FSU who are interested  in men from West... put your efforts on trying to identify woman who is interested in you.

and i don't think that there are any special signs or whatever exist, which could help you with identification of women with serious intentions... i wish everything would be that easy: like all people with serious intentions should carry kind of ribbon or ring so everybody will know they are serious and sincere ones )

mamba - oh, yeah, please, don't expect anything from there .  according to the experience of  my foreign friends who are in there - common letter is "please send me money" or "marry me" straight away. also its possible that normal and sincere women will not respond you there, because there are so many foreigners over there, who are looking for the bed-buddy while they are having a business trip in Ukraine.
usually i had letters from foreigners like this: "hello, sexy, i like your photos. i will be in Kiev soon for two weeks, give me your phone number, so i can contact you."  i mean WTF???????
so when i have a letter from foreigner in my box on Mamba - i am rather prejudiced to it and i'm thinking twice before to give a reply, is he really interested or just don't want to be bored during his business trip.

so when you will write to someone over there - start from what you have read in her profile, not from what you have seen on photos,speak about your intentions: friendship with possible moving on the next level and so on .

have a nice trip and good luck with your search

[SFandEE]

Great insights.  You are sharing with us the reality from her side.  You paint a realistic picture.

I have already heard a couple of things that have happened to you that are really off-putting and make me wonder how it is possible to stay motivated when only 4 responses out of hundreds are decent.  I am excited to return to Ukraine--most likely Kyiv and Odessa.  A friend of mine that I met here in San Francisco is returning from Kyiv for a visit, I look forward to seeing her soon.  Thanks for the well wishes.  I wish you the same.

Do you think that you have a preference for where you might live in the West?  I would imagine for women used to the big city some of our states would be too remote.

[mialia]

Great insights.  You are sharing with us the reality from her side.  You paint a realistic picture.

I have already heard a couple of things that have happened to you that are really offsetting and make me wonder how it is possible to stay motivated when only 4 responses out of hundreds are decent.  I am excited to return to Ukraine--most likely Kyiv and Odessa.  A friend of mine that I met here in San Francisco is returning from Kyiv for a visit, I look forward to seeing her soon.  Thanks for the well wishes.  I wish you the same.

Do you think that you have a preference for where you might live in the West?  I would imagine for women used to the big city some of our states would be too remote.

well.. i would say that there were a lot of decent people that wrote me.. the point is - i do know what i want and who i want to see by my side. the best steak will not attract you if you are rabbit, right? ))) other point is - i do not want to waste anybodies time, including mine, so if i have some doubts about the guy - i cut. this is how happened that from over than thousand men, who wrote me, i took only 4 of them seriously. not because the rest of the guys were not decent, but because those 4 were the most suitable and intresting .

what about keeping myself motiveted - well... me and people around find myself smart and attractive, so I'm not dying for husband absence of result doesn't upset me much, because what ever i had - it was experience, any experience you should take as something to learn from, the more you learn - the less mistakes you do in future - so... seems like i am on the right path and with the right attitude..... and i do have time for that as i am young i made my path to be more than  just the search of husband, i made it the way to learn and to meet a lot of new people, to improve my English, to make some friends if its possible, and, of course, to meet the one who will love me

what about cities... i have nothing to say... i have never been to USA, so i don't know how does it looks like  and what is the difference..

[Aloe]

mialia, it may be a good idea to add a couple non-professional shots to your profile. I have heard a few men skip profiles with professional photos only, because it doesn't show the real person. I also had similar experiences as you, only 0.01% of men who say they will come to visit will actually come and visit, unfortunately. So it's good to take them all with a healthy dose of skepticism until they actually show up.
You can check EMs prices on this page http://elenasmodels.com/services/index.htm

[mialia]

mialia, it may be a good idea to add a couple non-professional shots to your profile. I have heard a few men skip profiles with professional photos only, because it doesn't show the real person. I also had similar experiences as you, only 0.01% of men who say they will come to visit will actually come and visit, unfortunately. So it's good to take them all with a healthy dose of skepticism until they actually show up.
You can check EMs prices on this page http://elenasmodels.com/services/index.htm

hi thanks i think so too   i always have had  two types of photos in the profile. just decided to refresh it as my professional photos are 3 years old or so want to put in current ones .
if to think properly about it - any photo doesn't show the real person... photo is nothing more than just a captured moment, sometimes successfully sometimes not. it can work and other way around too - sometimes people are better in real than on photos, seldom, of course, but happens .

also, photo will say nothing to you about personal smell, or sound of voice, etc etc. if i would have a choice between a man, who looks worse than on photos he posted, but in real i can see that he is well taken care of, he looks after himself: nice watch, good shoes, smart dose of expensive fragrance, good manners etc.. etc..  and beautiful guy, who matches his pictures perfectly, but on other things went not far from monkey - my choice is the first one. that's why i never look at photos much

but I'm a woman and they are men we "love" by different parts of our body )) ( i mean famous Russian saying)

[Jumper]

Yuliya- welcome

  To really make an effort and try and look at things from the other side,as you have done ,
 is likely one of the key ingredients to a cross cultural marriage or relationship.. 

 if you express this part of yourself in your profile at EM or anywhere else it would be make a big impression to any serious man looking.
 

You asked what men like to see -
if they are serious , they like to see someone who is sincere about her intentions,able to see both sides of issues ,as it is certain to be a factor , and realistic in her expectations.
 If that can be expressed  in a profile with it coming off as genuine and not too "cut and paste"

Having also been on most of the sites mentioned , I can understand about  taking a step back and reevaluating things


If you have been there 5 months and had 4 men that you were seriously interested in,, and 2 visit you, it really is a success in terms of contacts and actually meeting ,,
, and i would say it means you are doing things correctly

[mialia]

Yuliya- welcome

  To really make an effort and try and look at things from the other side,as you have done ,
 is likely one of the key ingredients to a cross cultural marriage or relationship.. 

 if you express this part of yourself in your profile at EM or anywhere else it would be make a big impression to any serious man looking.
 

You asked what men like to see -
if they are serious , they like to see someone who is sincere about her intentions,able to see both sides of issues ,as it is certain to be a factor , and realistic in her expectations.
 If that can be expressed  in a profile with it coming off as genuine and not too "cut and paste"

Having also been on most of the sites mentioned , I can understand about  taking a step back and reevaluating things


If you have been there 5 months and had 4 men that you were seriously interested in,, and 2 visit you, it really is a success in terms of contacts and actually meeting ,,
, and i would say it means you are doing things correctly

 

thanks a lot for the supportive remark )
but.. i guess there is always the way to grow as perfection has no limits  

[kievstar]

Hello Yuliya,

I can give you some tips on how to attract the men who actually visit.  Regarding the quality of men that will depend on how you look and act and what you want out of a man.  You should not waste a lot of time on writing.  Thousands of men are visiting every week.  Go after the visiting men.  You can end up wasting to much time on men who only write.  Spend the time on the foreign men in country.  Your a perfect age of 29 and no children for the serious men who want children in the future (assuming you want children).  You should never have to meet anyone over 42 years old. 

May I ask do you live in Ukraine or Russia?  If Russia I know little there.  If Ukraine, I can help you greatly if you live near Kiev or Kharkov. 

If you live in Odessa and Sevastopol that is a tough market as you get a lot of sex tourists going there.  So the marriage agencies stock up on sex tourist type girls to meet men's demands.  Unfortunately the serious men tend to like the look of the non serious women as well.  So the key is to market yourself to the marriage agencies.  Agencies know the good men and the bad men and the good girls and bad girls.  Marriage agencies like to have some recent success stories to help with advertising.

I always got friendly with the agency workers.  Only a handful of men do and think the letter is the key.  Go right to the source.  I know women who get friendly with the agency and they get special treatment over other girls.  Not talking making money but being a sincere woman the agency will put with a good guy.

[irish]

Yuliya,
      Firstly welcome to RWD having read through all the posts I must agree with most of it.
I received a letter the other day that sums, I think some of the problem up
"Men love with their eyes, Ladies love with their ears"
with that in mind here are a few of my tips:

A natural picture or 2 is a must, the difference between some of the Pro stuff and the real ones screams fake to me and I delete straight away.
Do not show too much flesh remember a lot of men are looking for a mother for their future children not a glamor model.
Keep it sincere there is so much bad written on the web,any sudden changes in view questions the honesty or intentions or the person.
Video and voice service if available are excellent tools and I use them often, again I have seen some notable differences in profile pictures and the real ones.
The free sites are interesting if only to see what replies you get, I have recieved some revealing photos myself 
Use the name of the person you are writing to a few times throughout the letter,
some letter are without doubt copy and paste

But once again nice to have you aboard, keep up the posts and best of luck in your search. 

(These are most of the ways I sort through the mail I get. These are my own personal criteria and may not be used by others)

[mialia]

Hello Yuliya,

I can give you some tips on how to attract the men who actually visit.  Regarding the quality of men that will depend on how you look and act and what you want out of a man.  You should not waste a lot of time on writing.  Thousands of men are visiting every week.  Go after the visiting men.  You can end up wasting to much time on men who only write.  Spend the time on the foreign men in country.  Your a perfect age of 29 and no children for the serious men who want children in the future (assuming you want children).  You should never have to meet anyone over 42 years old. 

May I ask do you live in Ukraine or Russia?  If Russia I know little there.  If Ukraine, I can help you greatly if you live near Kiev or Kharkov. 


If you live in Odessa and Sevastopol that is a tough market as you get a lot of sex tourists going there.  So the marriage agencies stock up on sex tourist type girls to meet men's demands.  Unfortunately the serious men tend to like the look of the non serious women as well.  So the key is to market yourself to the marriage agencies.  Agencies know the good men and the bad men and the good girls and bad girls.  Marriage agencies like to have some recent success stories to help with advertising.

I always got friendly with the agency workers.  Only a handful of men do and think the letter is the key.  Go right to the source.  I know women who get friendly with the agency and they get special treatment over other girls.  Not talking making money but being a sincere woman the agency will put with a good guy.

hello
yes, i live in Ukraine, in the center, around hundred and fifty km away from Kiev.
what about paying more attention to the guys, who are in the country already....hmmmmm.... there is one turn off for me with those guys: they are in Ukraine to see as much women, as possible i got pissed off by all those "trip-reports" that i saw here, i can't believe it: the men can be so disrespectful, thanks God, not all are the same! i will never ever be a part of such a "Report"  and i mean it . yes, i had only two visits for 5 months of correspondency, but those guys were here for me only, i was out of any row, out of any queue and this is the way it suppose to be, as for me, i don't want other way. for me and for the guy i would like to meet - the process of selection should be finished on the site. i chose him, he chose me, we met, saw if there is the spark, no spark? OK, stay friends and go back to the active search.. not like i have John, coming Wednesday, Thursday its Nick, Friday afternoon its Noel, evening is for Gary - no, i will never treat any man like this and i don't want to be treated like this also... so i don't think i will go for meetings with guys, who are in the country already. I'm too good to be just "one more on the list" , sorry for such an unhumble remark ))

[kievstar]

No problem.   

My point about knowing the agency workers is they know when a decent man comes around.  They also know the men who are not ready for marriage or not looking or dating out of league.  They screen the men for you.  Just another method to consider.  If your not close with the agency your going to get the scraps from the table.  So I can see where many women think this is not a good approach as they do not make the political connections with the agency.

Keep doing the writing approach but is it always best to just do one method?  I only make this point since you have been doing this for 6 months.  Next year you turn 30 and the search function for many men will now exclude you.  Not trying to be mean just telling you how it is. 

[mialia]

No problem.   

My point about knowing the agency workers is they know when a decent man comes around.  They also know the men who are not ready for marriage or not looking or dating out of league.  They screen the men for you.  Just another method to consider.  If your not close with the agency your going to get the scraps from the table.  So I can see where many women think this is not a good approach as they do not make the political connections with the agency.

Keep doing the writing approach but is it always best to just do one method?  I only make this point since you have been doing this for 6 months.  Next year you turn 30 and the search function for many men will now exclude you.  Not trying to be mean just telling you how it is. 
[/quot


are you trying to tell me that woman in her early 30th doesn't exist for many men?
anyone else agree with that here?

[Patagonie]

Hello Yuliya
There is nothing wrong to see many men. An nothing wrong for men to see many women .As you said, and as you had experienced, two minutes after the first meeting you know if  you are attracted or not. I understand totally that nobody like to be an item on a list. But you cannot ask to a guy who make a 10000 miles trip and spend $$$$ ? to be pissed off in five minutes. You you will return at home in 10 minutes or two hours if you decided to meet in Kiev. And he ? There are a lot of discussion about WMVM or WOVO. Sometimes for WOVO or WMVO they succeed and i'm happy for them. I think a good and three months mail writing can raise the relationship, and i agree to say that exclusive relation is a mandatory way to succeed in the marriage process.
But i don't think the first meeting is the appropriate time to have such expectation.
I see, here in the western side, too much women who spend a lot of time with internet and who begin to focus their feelings with a virtual guy, and finally they crash after the meeting or few dates after.  They are full of "true" expectations based on an uncertain identity, but sorry there is a long road to end the knowledge of someone.
Yes i agree like KenC said : after a such long and genuine correspondance you can feel both very easy in the first seconds (it's exactly what happened with my actual GF) but ONLY if this connection happens. What a danger !!! It's like playing poker. For men it's not recommended to act in this way (at least we try to have a backup plan), you like or you dislike but if we (boys) are not totally foolish we need to think in this way.
A question : for an exclusive meeting, are you ready to share all expenses ? Or to ask five or seven days of vacation to your boss and spend it EVEN if the meeting is a disaster ?
A guy has limited amount of time and money, he cannot waste it (I'M NOT speaking about a sex tour of course) too easily.

Good luck with your search.

[FredC]

Yuliya,

It is not that you do not exist it is only that some men only search for ladies in their 20's. Afterall this is the fantasy that a lot of agencies sell. Personally I wanted a lady closer to my own age and consider 30 too young, but that is just me.

As for your view on the wmvm trip reports, I understand your point of view. There is also the other side of the coin. There are trip reports on here from men that only wrote and went to visit one lady. Within minutes of meeting they knew that the spark was not there. Now you have a man that spent thousands of dollars to take a vacation and then he gets stuck in a place that may or may not have any activities that he enjoys doing on vacation where he is now alone.

I have done both the visit many and visit one trips. Personally after my visit many trip, I would never do it again. For me it was just too overwhelming, but I do not condemn those who enjoy that style of trip.

Just something for you to consider.

[SFandEE]

. not like i have John, coming Wednesday, Thursday its Nick, Friday afternoon its Noel, evening is for Gary - no, i will never treat any man like this and i don't want to be treated like this also... so i don't think i will go for meetings with guys, who are in the country already. I'm too good to be just "one more on the list" , sorry for such an unhumble remark ))

This sense of self is admirable.  My impressions are that this is how the businesses have seen how they can make the most money.  Perhaps the men like doing this since they have a sense of attracting a lot of women, being Mr. Playboy for the week.

So the challenge is that meeting men over the internet is a low production of quality contacts and meeting men who are already in Ukraine can be disingenuous.  That is tricky.  Although not specifically helpful to this discussion my wish is that the US could free up visa requirements for Ukraine.  This most certainly would create more options.

I have not found a solution yet for myself.  I do have someone for whom I have interest and attraction.  We met on a date.  It is difficult for me to focus as much energy as it takes on this situation since if I put the same amount of work into relationships here in the US I would be able to meet someone amazing too.

[BillyB]

. i chose him, he chose me, we met, saw if there is the spark, no spark? OK, stay friends and go back to the active search.. not like i have John, coming Wednesday, Thursday its Nick, Friday afternoon its Noel, evening is for Gary - no, i will never treat any man like this and i don't want to be treated like this also... so i don't think i will go for meetings with guys, who are in the country already. I'm too good to be just "one more on the list" ,

Yuliya, I use to be a one woman at a time kind of guy all my life until last year. A woman may have to meet 20 men to find the right man. Some women find their man right away, other women may have to go through 40 guys to find him. If you spend 3 months writing to one man who may or may not show up, you may find your guy in 10 years or if luck is with you, tomorrow.

There are some women who would want a relationship with me and if I had no other choices, I would enter into a relationship with them and probably regret it. I'm looking for something more and willing to date multiple women to speed up the process in finding the right woman. You may screen and eliminate one guy after 3 months communication and a 5 minute meeting and I'm eliminating 20 women in the same time.

You don't have to feel you are on a list if a guy is dating you and another lady. You are not in a relationship with him on the first date and he doesn't not need to show commitment to you and you do not need to show commitment to him since it's your right to dump him within minutes if something isn't right.

[Patagonie]

"You don't have to feel you are on a list if a guy is dating you and another lady. You are not in a relationship with him on the first date and he doesn't not need to show commitment to you and you do not need to show commitment to him since it's your right to dump him within minutes if something isn't right."
Absolutely i agree 

[mialia]

Hello Yuliya
There is nothing wrong to see many men. An nothing wrong for men to see many women .As you said, and as you had experienced, two minutes after the first meeting you know if  you are attracted or not. I understand totally that nobody like to be an item on a list. But you cannot ask to a guy who make a 10000 miles trip and spend $$$$ ? to be pissed off in five minutes. You you will return at home in 10 minutes or two hours if you decided to meet in Kiev. And he ? There are a lot of discussion about WMVM or WOVO. Sometimes for WOVO or WMVO they succeed and I'm happy for them. I think a good and three months mail writing can raise the relationship, and i agree to say that exclusive relation is a mandatory way to succeed in the marriage process.
But i don't think the first meeting is the appropriate time to have such expectation.
I see, here in the western side, too much women who spend a lot of time with internet and who begin to focus their feelings with a virtual guy, and finally they crash after the meeting or few dates after.  They are full of "true" expectations based on an uncertain identity, but sorry there is a long road to end the knowledge of someone.
Yes i agree like KenC said : after a such long and genuine correspondance you can feel both very easy in the first seconds (it's exactly what happened with my actual GF) but ONLY if this connection happens. What a danger !!! It's like playing poker. For men it's not recommended to act in this way (at least we try to have a backup plan), you like or you dislike but if we (boys) are not totally foolish we need to think in this way.
A question : for an exclusive meeting, are you ready to share all expenses ? Or to ask five or seven days of vacation to your boss and spend it EVEN if the meeting is a disaster ?
A guy has limited amount of time and money, he cannot waste it (I'M NOT speaking about a sex tour of course) too easily.

Good luck with your search.

thanks for the reply

there are a lot for me to think about... i do agree that dating with someone who is overseas is like a poker game and you guys have your expenses and time being wasted.... but:

- if man can't afford a trip, what is the reason to look overseas, in the countries, where women used to not to pay for themselves?
- if man don't have enough money how he can take such a huge responsibility to take a foreign, sometimes not even able to speak English, woman to his country? for him its OK, he is going back home, to his normall life, but what about woman? for her its very scary to leave her country, her work, so as minimum she wants to be sure, that she is quiting all this for someone, who is able to support her financially till she will learn language properly, confirm her diploma at list and find a job.. it can take years and i have no idea how much money...

-  if I'll date a guy with the knowing that he is dating "i don't know how many women" at the same time with me - how i can kiss him if i have no any idea where his lips were five minutes ago? ( excuse my English )
  :whirling:

- no, i am not going to share expenses... as you guys, looking for long legs or big breasts, the same way i am looking for someone, who will not ask me to share it. luckily, till now, i never was asked for it....

- yes, i will be able to spend my time with someone, who doesn't attract me at the first date, only for him, being a great person, and me, being able to appreciate his efforts that he putted on this visit.....

good luck to you too