Question on Email I received

[jdaco70]

Hi Everybody,

Hope all is doing well... SO, I have a question, there is a girl in Ukraine that I have been speaking too. Now, keep in mind, we have only been talking now for maybe 3 weeks now? Have exchanged a number of emails, and have been speaking on Skype between each other. Anyhow, here is her email...

 """"see that you share many of my thoughts. I see us doing everything together honey: maybe go fishing if you like, to go camping, go to the movies, .I would like to cook together, clean together, laugh together, and have a happy cry together. I want to walk on the park arm in arm. I am serious thinking about you. You are always in my mind. I am understood that you are very intelligent man. I am really in love with you and pray to god that we will live together as husband and wife for rest of our life. I need you as a husband ant partner. I will be very caring and loving wife for you. My love to you will be endless.  It is true. I admire inner beauty and your outer look very much. Here in Ukraine I have no man like you. I am looking for special man in this world. I am sure that the main women's duty is her family and home. For example my career will be on the second place.  I think you are very gentle man. Of course I would like a solid and decent man to patronize me. I hope you are such man. When I give up to the world of my dreams I feel that the world around me becomes fabulous and colourful. Since my early childhood I wanted somebody strong and kind to take care of me. I always think love to be ocean of feelings.
I like all your letters very much. I feel that the richest spring of love in inside ma.
I know you cannot fall in love with me very fast. But as for me I think that I am in the way to fall in love in you.
My best wishes and kisses to you.
Love.
Marina. """"""


Ok, So my concern here is the word LOVE coming from her already. Gosh, I know that I am no ugly duckling or anything, but isnt this a bit premature? Or, am I reading into this a little to much? She is definately a pretty lady as well, lives in Chermitzny?? (Spelling) A month in, is this really enough time for her to feel this way?

Jeff

[jdaco70]

Also, i would like to add, I did find her on EM, but cannot seem to find her profile now either. So, I am not sure if this is a bad sign as well? It may be that I just simply cannot find it. I need to ask her later today what it was, as I simply did not save it because we have talked so much, as well, it must have been deleted from my mail box because its not there either anymore.

Jeff

[Aloe]

Sounds wayy over the top and like something designed specifically for a man with complexes.
"Of course I would like a solid and decent man to patronize me. I hope you are such man. When I give up to the world of my dreams I feel that the world around me becomes fabulous and colourful. Since my early childhood I wanted somebody strong and kind to take care of me."

What kind of healthy man would sign up for this?

[Aloe]

There is nothing wrong in taking care of a woman, but she sounds like "oh you be the man, make all decisions and treat me like a child and be my father" too much. Or am i the only one getting that impression?

[Aloe]

wait, i just reread it, maybe i am misinterpreting "patronize me" ? How do you intrepret that ?

[jdaco70]

Yeah, I think she may have meant something else there.  That would be insulting wouldnt it? LOL

[jdaco70]

We have been talking on Skype as well, 1 maybe 2 times a week as she has to go to her friends house to use theirs. So, I know she is for real at least, seeing her on cam and all. Speaks pretty good english as well.

[Faux Pas]

jdeco,

It comes off pretty cheesy IMO. Three weeks in and all the talk of love doesn't sound like this is a serious woman. Perhaps she's just the cheesy romantic type? But the 3 weeks is a deal killer in my opinion. You would have to gauge her based on your other communications as well. You've just given us one snapshot. What are the ages of you and this woman? Is this the "type" you would date at home? I am referring to age, education or as other members her refer it "league".

I met my wife on EMs too. I also couldn't find her profile there after about 3 weeks. She had turned it off herself

[jdaco70]

Yeah, I can easily seem myself with someone like her. She is 29, and im 39...going on 40 this July.. She has always seemed to be somewhat emotional, or romantic I guess since the begining,...Just the love part came out in this last email. Which is why I am now aprehensive.....

[Aloe]

Yeah, I can easily seem myself with someone like her. She is 29, and im 39...going on 40 this July.. She has always seemed to be somewhat emotional, or romantic I guess since the begining,...Just the love part came out in this last email. Which is why I am now aprehensive.....

just dont send any money, thats all And try to explain to her, that she may be setting herself up for a big disappointment by having her expectations taller than the sky.

[Aloe]

when i was new at this, i also let myself have feelings for someone over the internet, but they all turned out to be keyboard romeos, who say they will come and never come. I didnt write anything quite SO full of love though But maybe she is even more emotional

[jdaco70]

True, or desparate to get out of dodge!! LOL.  But she doesnt really act that way when we are on skype though.

[Jack]

I am really in love with you,....My love to you will be endless.  It is true.....
But as for me I think that I am in the way to fall in love in you.


jdaco70,  please keep in mind as my most recent reply to I/O indicated, their will be exceptions to everything, real and sincere Ukraine/Russian women will never tell to a man she has never met that she loves him.  This letter is not real.  This was written by either an agency or a scammer.

[ConnerVT]

Jack, we also have never met, but I got to say -- I love you, man!         

[Ravens9273]

I think the first thing you should do is contact EM and see why her profile was removed. Was it removed by EM or did the lady remove it herself. I think this will greatly answer your question for you.
If EM removed they did so for a reason. If she removed herself why would she if she has intention to scam?

One thing I have always wwondered about these forums is the help people get. over time I found the forum useful for those who have found someone and are now going through the immigration process. it is a good source of information for honest agencies etc...BUT...... I have always found it a poor source for relationship advice. I think more relationships were hurt then helped. Too many live by the code that there is a handbook for Russian Women Dating. To them this handbook has a set of rules and sequence of events and how they should happen and when they should happen and if anything falls out of place of those rules or something happens out of sequence then it is a scam and time to run.

I have also seen over the years that those who are married to a RW pretty much broke all those rules and followed a different set of events. Myself included. Had I followed the set guidelines I have seen written many times I would not be married.

Is it impossible to fall in love over the internet or develope feelings for someone in 3 weeks? No it is not. It has happened and it is happening everyday. Would we even be having this discussion if it were an American Woman he was writting to?

Jdaco70
she has not asked for money. At this point no one can say it is fake, scam etc....
Until that moment occurs you are fine and you are smart enough to know what to do if that time ever comes. If you like this Woman then do not start building walls in your communications. Forget that a handbook exists and act with this Woman the way you would with any other American Woman. If your concern is so high right now then write to EM as stated above and find out who removed the profile. Other then that relax and enjoy the ride. Avoid any walls. Building Walls is never a good thing and will only hurt any relationship. If money ever does come into the picture you know what to do.
Best of luck to you.



Also I will add the following. My wife told me she loved me before we ever met and also wanted to be married. Those feelings can happen without a meeting. However many times meetings fail to impress and chemistry is not there as two had thought. But people can have those feelings before meeting. With us though the chemistry and magic was there in meeting as well.
We have known each other now for 5 years and married for over two. There is no fizzle in our relationship and in fact I would say it gets stronger every day.

[ML]

Yes, you talk to the woman and she is real.  But a real what?

Well, she is really setting you up big time.

No worthwhile woman (or man) is going to start talking lovey mushy this early in the game.

[Gator]

Jdaco,

I find this over the top.  

What is her personality type?  Did something happen for her to suddenly express her love (presuming all previous correspondence is mild)?  Did you express some doubts in the prior conversation?  Did you raise the ante?  Seriously, did you suddenly open up and reveal something very personal to her?  Did you have cybersex with her?

This seems so counter to RW mentality.  Most RW are naturally skeptical (generations of turmoil).  To say "I love you" is a form of celebration.  RW do not celebrate something until it happens in real terms, fearing that early celebration would doom it.

I wrote to a large number of women, and I am one of those who believes in a 2-3 months of correspondence and telephone calls.
Most of these women petered out for different reasons (her choice or my choice).  With some, the communication and phone chemistry became better and better.  These were the women I met.  

Before the meeting, few seemed to have deep feelings (maybe it was me   )  For sure, I never asked.  Nevertheless, it was apparent that most had high hopes for a good meeting that led to something longer.  That ain't love, and none ever expressed love before meeting.  One or two did say that she "much like" me.

There are exceptions, and I clearly detected loving feelings from two women.  One of those RW was a quirky, spirited woman and the other was eccentric.  I did not ask nor play with this.  Neither expressed love on the phone or in email.  .

[Gator]

I think the first thing you should do is contact EM and see why her profile was removed. 

Good idea.

If EM removed they did so for a reason.

EM will post at her profile a short message explaining the removal.

If she removed herself why would she if she has intention to scam?

Ask her. 

You owe her a call.  Explain that she is something special.  Then add that you take time to fall in love, yet once you do it is strong and faithful love.  Then listen to what she says.  To keep her talking, you may ask her how many times she has fallen in love.  Keep it going.  Somewhere her words will tell you more than we can tell you.

[innakrug]

Jack, we also have never met, but I got to say -- I love you, man!         

That is funny But in Russia when we say I love you - it means I love you. Just like that.

[Shadow]

jdaco70, do not become overly paranoid.

Yes three weeks is fast for a woman to proclaim her love but that does not mean its impossible. You have talked to her on Skype, meaning you are talking to her outside of an agency and face to face.

As for the remark of Jack, MrsShadow is the exception I know of a real and sincere Russian woman proclaiming love for someone she never met in person.

Without the skype I would agree with something fishy, but as it stand the question in my mind is..

When do you plan to visit her ?

[Daveman]

jdaco70, do not become overly paranoid.

Yes three weeks is fast for a woman to proclaim her love but that does not mean its impossible. You have talked to her on Skype, meaning you are talking to her outside of an agency and face to face.

As for the remark of Jack, MrsShadow is the exception I know of a real and sincere Russian woman proclaiming love for someone she never met in person.

Without the skype I would agree with something fishy, but as it stand the question in my mind is..

When do you plan to visit her ?

Yeah it can happen during correspondence, but did Ms Shadow tell you all of that stuff like posted above after a few emails and less than 6 conversations?  If she is being sincere, it sounds more like a 14 y/o girl who is unable to define her emotional highs and lows. 

But I agree... what does she say about meeting?

I don't say it's 100% certainly a duck. But it's quacking... loudly.

[jdaco70]

Well, couple things...definately not using a translator, we see and speak to each other on Skype, and she does speak pretty good english.

Our conversations, have been somewhat in depth...as far as her and my life priorities, roles to be played as a wife and husband, expectations...affectionate or not, etc..etc.. No cyber sex or anything like that, but mostly about things we like to do, and life values in general. She does seem like a very sweet person, but again, who knows until we meet I guess.

Thanks for the advice, I will definately find out about why she is no longer on EM, and ask her some other questions about falling in love, and keep an eye out for the big, "I need money" question. haha.

Silly question maybe, but what about set-ups while you are there? Not like if I fly there, she would have her goons take me in an alley and rob me blind would they? Is this common? ...

[jdaco70]

Oh yes,  plan on visiting her mid september for a week. She is hammering down the dates so she can take vacation off from work.

[Ravens9273]

Jdaco70

No one here can say she is a scam. Only time will tell.
This is going to end up being 1 of 2 things.

Scammer or sincere lady

In time you will find out which. But Paranoia is almost certain to ruin a relationship with a sincere Woman. You already know not to give money. If that ever occurs then you have your answer. Until that time comes just relax and be yourself. You may have a good Woman in front of you as well and do not let paranoia get the best of you.

She has taken communication outside of a paid forum. This is a good sign. While others here do not believe it some have fallen in love (even many Men) in a short time. My wife told me she loved me without meeting and Shadow pointed above his wife did the same. So this points out that the saying "RW will NEVER say they love you without meeting" is obviously false. There are two married examples right in this very thread.

I am not saying she is real and I am not saying she is fake. Time will tell. What I am saying is do not let paranoia cause you to start acting different towards her because you just may lose a good Woman in the process. That is the biggest mistake most make in dating and it is a deal breaker everytime.


Now as to the coment of being jumped in an alley by her goons is a story I have never heard of.

[Shadow]

Have you ever seen the look on a woman's face when she was holding what was to become her most prized possesion and trying to getyou to buy it ? Or experienced the rewards afterwards ? Then you know a woman does not need any goons to rob you blind. 

We can not say if she is trying to take you for a ride or not. All I can say is go there and spend what you want to spend, be yourself and see if there is a match.
If you think she is acting funny or trying or trying to make you spend as much as possible you can always bail out and enjoy the scenery ot the local wildlife including specimens of the female homo sapiens. Until that time just enjoy the experience, keep your expectations and hopes low, get rid of paranoia and remember a woman who really likes you will not leave you any doubt when meeting in person.