Hello To All - From The Husband Of A Disproprtionately Hot Russian Wife.

[TheTraveler]

Hello to all!

I'm glad to have found this website, and glad to have become a member here.

As is customary here, I'll share a little about myself...

Back in 2000, I decided to try to find a compatible Russian girl online, so I created a one-page website (written in Russian) about myself, what type of girl I wanted to meet, and I included some photos.  The title of the site was "Я ищу русская Богиня" -- "I search for the Russian Goddess".  I posted its URL to as many Russian websites that I could find, and within a couple weeks, the emails started flooding in (in the end, over 300 girls!).

But before I even started my online search, I decided that I better learn the language, so before that, I began studying/practicing the Russian language with a Ukrainian woman who lived near my home town (I met her at a nearby Russian Orthodox Church).  I also bought a translation program (ProMT) to help translate Russian-English and English-Russian.  The private classes and software were both invaluable (That was back before the days of free online translations.).

After I went online, at times I would write a girl that I found on an agency/personals/dating website, but many were girls that saw my 'ad' and wrote to me first.  I was 36 years old at the time, never married, and did not have any children.  The ages of the girls with whom I was corresponding ranged from 18 to ~40.  I was thinking that a girl in the 24-28 year range would be ideal.  I was looking for a girl who also had never been married and did not have children, because I wanted us to both experience marriage and children together for the first time.  Russian girls above that age range generally had been married, had children, or both.

At any given time, I was corresponding (always via email) with 10-12 girls at a time.  (I considered myself an internet slut. Ha!)  I think they all suspected as much, but to avoid the uncomfortable, they generally didn't ask.  And whereas I was absolutely sincere -- the banter was pretty light-hearted, fun, and for the most part steered clear of overly-serious topics.
 
They say most Western guys who correspond with Russian women never make the trip to Russia.  But in my mind, I was committed to see it through.  I would travel to Russia to find the girl of my destiny, without a doubt.  But I didn't intend to rush into a trip too soon, either.  I had very limited available travel time, so I really wanted to find quality girls before making a trip.  I didn't really know how it would work... Initially, I probably had an idea that I would plan a big trip throughout Russia where I would meet several girls (a WMVM? -- a girl at every train stop?).

But in the middle of all that correspondence, I received an intro email from the girl who would eventually become my wife.  She was a lot younger than I was really comfortable with, though.  She was a university student and had just turned 19.  But like I said... I was having fun, she was having fun, so we started to write.  And she was definitely very cute and very interesting.  Over the next few months, her emails became the highlight of each day for me.  We probably averaged about one email per day for 10 months (This was before the days of SMS/texting).  I really felt that I had a sense of her personality, her values, who she was.  She also impressed me as the smartest girl who had written to me.  She was studying software engineering, and her level of intelligence and education was impressive.  I'm sure that in the 200+ emails that she sent, I don't think she ever even misspelled a word.

Eventually, I lost interest in the other girls and was writing to my future-wife exclusively.  I sent her flowers on Valentine's Day, and later sent her my winter scarf (sprayed with my cologne).  She never asked for money, and I never offered.  Finally, the correspondence reached a crescendo -- or a point where we really needed to meet to see where our relationship was going.  I obtained a visa, bought the plane ticket, made the hotel reservations, and started the long journey east.

She was from a small industrial city that was about 30 miles from a fairly large city.  She and her parents were waiting at the airport when my flight arrived.  After the initial meeting and pleasantries (and I brought roses for both my girl and her mom), her parents returned to their flat, and we took a taxi and checked in to our hotel (separate rooms) in the large nearby city.  We were planning on spending the first 5 days touring there, and then we planned to take a train to spend 5 days in Moscow.

She was exactly as she seemed in our letters, and for both of us -- it was love-at-first-sight.  We definitely had 'chemistry'.  And when you know it's right... you know it's right... So on the 2nd night, I proposed marriage to her, and she said 'yes' the next morning.  We went to visit her parents later that day, as I felt it was important to receive their permission and blessing.  The brief story...They agreed.  (The long story involved a lot of vodka and champagne toasts.)  And from there the trip just got better -- a post-engagement party vacation, if you will.  In Moscow, we went to the Bolshoi Ballet, to Red Square, the Музыкальный театр, Cathedral of Christ the Savior, Museums, restaurants... For an American who had never traveled outside of the US, I can't describe my impressions other than to say it was like a trip to another planet, except that I had an exotic beauty on my arm as my tour guide.  After the 10 day trip came to an end, we were sad to part.  Actually, it was gut-wrenching.  I would have extended the trip, but my work duties back home were pressing, and there was only so much university that she could skip out on, too.

When I returned home after the trip, I prepared the K1 application on my own, but hired John Roth's immigration law firm (www.eb5fullservice.com) to check my paperwork and to help my future wife (He has personnel in Moscow who were a big help.).  The paperwork was perfect and approved, but 9-11 occurred while we were waiting, and I was afraid that the US Govt would seal up the border and suspend immigration.  But they went ahead and scheduled her interview at the US Embassy in Moscow, her visa was approved, and a week later she arrived.

3 weeks after her arrival, we were married in a church wedding here in my city, and we've been blissfully married ever since.  We have 3 beautiful children (all are now dual citizens).  My wife has been a US citizen for 4 years.  Every year, we either host a visit from her relatives or we travel there.  I consider myself the luckiest guy I know.  Disproportionately hot wife, great kids, successful family business (thanks, in large part, to my wife's efforts, too).

In the brief time today that I've spent browsing the forum, I've read many interesting stories and posts, and I can see that this is an invaluable place for guys who are looking to meet and marry a Russian woman.  I hope that, from time to time, I can add something useful to the discussion.  For anyone who is thinking about finding a Russian wife, I can only hope that they are as fortunate as I have been.

[Vaughn]

For anyone who is thinking about finding a Russian wife, I can only hope that they are as fortunate as I have been.

Traveler, fortunate is an understatement. I'd say you won the lottery...

Which begs the question - for the average dreamer holed up in some abode with Internet access - would you
recommend a quick engagement - as you have done - or even marry the first gal he meets? (as you and I both
have done)....

Nice strategy though, back in the old days - creativeness counted and in many ways still does today.

Congratulations on your successful marriage & children, and welcome!

[SFandEE]

I am glad you shared your experience.  I wonder if things are changing with modernization and more options for women.

Most importantly I think it demonstrates that if you befriend a good woman good thing can happen!  

[TheTraveler]

Thanks for the welcome, Vaughn!

Which begs the question - for the average dreamer holed up in some abode with Internet access - would you
recommend a quick engagement - as you have done - or even marry the first gal he meets? (as you and I both
have done)....

That's a great question... Looking back on everything, most people (my wife and I included) would agree that we both acted impulsively (crazy?!).

I guess I would say it depends on the guy and the girl.

[IAmZon]

Great title to a thread.  I assumed it was going to be a train wreck ... happy to see it was not.  And, I got to confess, I am one of those that's a sucker for a great romantic story that turns out OK - even if only for a while.  Your story seems like it has legs and staying power.  So, welcome. 

God I hope you are as sane as you seem:)   A successful two day wonder?!?!   With a disproportionately hot wife ... that is great.

[TheTraveler]

I am glad you shared your experience.  I wonder if things are changing with modernization and more options for women.

Most importantly I think it demonstrates that if you friend a good woman good thing can happen! 

Thanks, SFandEE!  You're right... It all started with finding a good woman.

[TheTraveler]

Great title to a thread.  I assumed it was going to be a train wreck

Thanks for the welcome, rivardco!

And now that I re-read the title... It does sound like it could be a train wreck! Ha!

[I/O]

She and her parents met me at the airport (in the large city).  After the initial meeting, her parents returned to their city, and we checked in to our hotel (separate rooms) in the large city.  We were planning on spending the first 5 days that city, and then we planned to take a train to Moscow to spend 5 days there.

'Twas the bit which struck me. My FIL is a great friend and MIL is an absolute gem but, suggest something like that at the first meeting and FIL would've had my nuts for fishing bait.............................in about 1 nano second.

All the best Dude, your story is a nice read. If you dont mind my asking, your children, boys, girls, ages...?

[kievstar]

You married a younger wife and made children.  Men who make children tend to have successful marriages here.  Men who do not make children with young wife tend to end up divorced.  Something for the other men to consider on this board.

[Kuna]

You married a younger wife and made children.  Men who make children tend to have successful marriages here.  Men who do not make children with young wife tend to end up divorced.  Something for the other men to consider on this board.

My wife and I have two children and I can tell you something else about men with children...  They tend to be more tired than men without children - so maybe we just give in more quickly during disagreements?

 

Kidding of course!

Children have redefined our marriage,  and my family redefines me as a man...

Times are good!





TheTraveler

Welcome to RWD.  Nice to have another successfully married man aboard.

I have a great friend who would have married around the same time as you... maybe a little earlier.  I remember freaking out when he came back from "holidays" engaged,  and went on his second trip to Ukraine to get married.

They too are still happily married and have their own children.

I think times have somewhat changed since then, but the fundamentals will always remain constant.

[TheTraveler]

All the best Dude, your story is a nice read. If you dont mind my asking, your children, boys, girls, ages...?

3 girls... 6, 4, and 1.

'Twas the bit which struck me. My FIL is a great friend and MIL is an absolute gem but, suggest something like that at the first meeting and FIL would've had my nuts for fishing bait.............................in about 1 nano second.

The plans were all laid out and agreed well in advance... But I agree, if I were the father, I may have objected.  Added to the weirdness was the fact that her parents were only a couple years older than me.  I chalked it up to a few things... Her parents were supportive of 'us'.  Also, they seemed to trust their daughter's judgment a lot (which told me something about her).  There was also a healthy amount naivete on everyone's part.

Speaking of naivete... I found it amongst others in Russia, too... An interesting story: I had a long layover in Moscow before my flight to my future wife's region, and I was dead tired.  A (married) Russian girl that I met on the JFK-Moscow flight introduced me to her parents at the airport and asked them to take me to their apartment so that I could get some sleep before my next flight.  They did so without question.  They spoke no English, and my Russian ability was pretty primitive.  The dad (a retired Red Army officer) and mom, who were probably in their late 60's, were unbelievably hospitable.  They fed me, we did vodka shots, they had me sleep in their extra room, they woke me up in time for my flight.  The dad kept trying to carry my bags, and I thought I was going to have to arm wrestle him to let me pick up the bus fare back to the airport (I finally won out).

If an American girl were to tell her parents: "I met this foreign guy on the flight.  Will you take him to your house, feed him, let him sleep, and escort him back to the airport?", do you know anyone who would agree to that without thinking their kid was crazy?  But she wasn't crazy, and they weren't crazy.  That's just the kind of people I met on that trip.  Super nice, but super naive.  Between the jet lag, the vodka, the complete lack of English anywhere, and the differences in customs/behavior -- like I said in my first post -- it was like landing on another planet.

[TheTraveler]

Thanks for the welcomes, kuna and kievstar!

[Faux Pas]

Welcome Traveler! You do bring another fresh perspective on finding and marrying a RW to this forum. We're lucky to have you. Stick around and partake as often as you will.
 

[TheTraveler]

Thanks Faux Pas!  -- And I dig your sig line.  (I'm a big Ayn Rand fan.)

[Lily]

Welcome to RWD Traveller, and thanks for the story! Very impressive

So you write a disproportionally hot wife. Disproportional with what, I am curious? Does she really differ that much from women in your location?

I have heard that we Russian women tend to increase in looks department as soon as we land in Northern America, say, from 7.5 to 8.5 eventually, but not THAT disproportionally as you seem to mean it

[Blues Fairy]

Great story (if it's true )!

Does your wife work, or is she a stay-at-home mom?  Do your little girls speak both languages?

[daveyj]

Traveler, Congratulations on your good fortune and happy life!

I'd like the members of the board to consider what would have happened had he come here looking for advice before his wedding?  A 36yr old, engaged to a 19 yr old who he proposed to on their 2nd day together and his first visit to the FSU??  I don't think I'm speaking out of turn when I suggest that many here would have ripped him a new one.  And yet 10 years later they are still happily married.

Just something to consider the next time you are commenting with certitude on a TR/etc.

[TheTraveler]

Welcome to RWD Traveller, and thanks for the story! Very impressive

So you write a disproportionally hot wife. Disproportional with what, I am curious?

Disproportionately hot compared to me.  (Sorry, I thought that would be obvious.  )

[TheTraveler]

Great story (if it's true )!

Does your wife work, or is she a stay-at-home mom?

The first years we were married, we worked together.  I'm an electrical/computer/software engineer, and my job included a lot of local travel (~150 mile radius) for sales, service, and installation work.  We went everywhere together and did everything together.  I taught my wife to drive (if a marriage can survive that, it can survive anything), I taught her English (Originally, her English level was about on a par with my Russian -- Now, she speaks English perfectly.), and she learned everything about our business.  It was a neat time in our life.  It laid the foundation for our next stage in life as parents.

With all our kids now, the travel together isn't practical anymore.  But my wife has been studying accounting at the local college, and she continues to work in our business, only now getting our accounting whipped into shape.  So now she's both a stay-at-home mom and a work-from-home business partner.  Fortunately, about half the time, I work from home, too.  So we still get to spend a lot of time together.

Do your little girls speak both languages?

The two older girls are mainly English speakers, but they both speak and understand a little Russian.  When we have relatives here from Russia, or when the kids are there, their Russian improves (None of my wife's relatives speak any English)... But after the visit/trip ends, they start to lose it.  Both of us want the kids to speak both languages well, but we haven't done enough to make it happen.

[TheTraveler]

Traveler, Congratulations on your good fortune and happy life!

I'd like the members of the board to consider what would have happened had he come here looking for advice before his wedding?  A 36yr old, engaged to a 19 yr old who he proposed to on their 2nd day together and his first visit to the FSU??  I don't think I'm speaking out of turn when I suggest that many here would have ripped him a new one.  And yet 10 years later they are still happily married.

Just something to consider the next time you are commenting with certitude on a TR/etc.

Thanks, daveyj!

But even though this forum wasn't around back then, I still received a lot of "advice".  You are correct.

I have no doubt that from the outside, I might look like a reckless guy who just got lucky.  Sure, I was lucky to an extent, but I had a strategy, I stuck to it without compromise, and was extremely selective early on.  So selective that I still feel bad for some of the outstanding and sincere girls that I broke off correspondence with.  But they just weren't up to the level of my wife or there was some incompatibility.

And basically, after all that correspondence, I thought I found the right girl... And after I met her, I knew she was the right girl... and so I jumped right in.

[SneakersAndHighHeels]

Hello to all!

Hello sweetheart!   

[TheTraveler]

Hello sweetheart!   

Uh Oh!   
I guess I won't be able to talk about 'Disproportionately Hot Wife' behind her back on this forum anymore!

[SMS60]

Hello sweetheart!   

Hello to my favorite love

[azureroo]

Hi again, from one of the "downunder" crew.

Can I assume your kids were born in Russia, as I didn't think there was any other way to get the Russians to provide passports to foreign born kids?

My son was born in Ekaterinburg, and Austrtalian passport aquired in Shanghai.

I would never do it again, the standard of care was appalling, and that was after I was bribing everyone to do better!

[azureroo]

Forgot to add, I asked the wife to speak russian with him from day one, knowing he would speak english with me and in his everyday life. At 5 he is fluent and has the correct accents for both.  It's only his father who look stupid! :-)