What are Russian women thinking? Perhaps I am stupid in my thinking!!

[Brian]

My correspondence with a Russian woman has been for about 5 weeks.  Our correspondence with each other has been in English.  In her profile she says her English is “fair.”  She usually takes 3 to 5 days to respond to my letters.  I respond to her letters within 24 hours.   She says she likes my letters and what I say.  She suggests about talking on the phone but is nervous because of her “bad” English.  I ask her for her phone number and ask her what days and times (her local time zone) are good for me to call.  She also has mentioned in a few of her letters about my coming to Russia for a visit.  I said I can come to Russia in July and visit with her.  I do not believe that I have given her any reason to doubt what I say.  Several days have gone by.  My email requesting her phone number has been read.  She says she is happy about my coming to visit her in Russia.  I sent her another letter a few days ago but she has not even read it yet.   Does she really want to meet with me?  I am living in la-la land?

Are slow responses normal?  Is the Russian woman just doing this because she is not really interested in me?  I am 57; divorced; average looking or less; stable work; faithful; non-smoking; and non-drinking.  She is in her early 40s, never married, and very attractive.

I believed that I received a lot of attention from different ladies (several 24 to 32 years of age which surprised me).  I figure that an attractive woman like her must have received many letters.  She said she liked me the best.

Is this woman serious?  Why not just tell me she is not interested?  Why wait several days between letters?  Perhaps this waiting is normal and I am over reacting or over thinking.

Do I wait or just move on with correspondence from other ladies?   A second lady from Ukraine seemed very anxious for me to go and meet with her.  She seemed very nice and provided me with her personal email address.  She did say she checks her email at a friend’s flat about once per week as she does not have her own internet connection.    She said in her letters that many men write to her but the men never go to Ukraine for a visit.  I could sense her frustration in not being interested in a lot of letter writing.  Her English is much better.  She does not take me serious unless I give her more definite plans on my travel to Ukraine to visit her.

I am amazed at the perceptions with age difference and the attitudes of the Russian women.  My desired age target is 38 to 44.  Most ladies aged 38 to 44 want to marry someone up to about 50 and perhaps 55.  However, I have received many letters from very attractive ladies in the 24 to 32 age range.  What is the thought process here?  The reality for me is the 38 to 44 age group.

Any advice and thoughts appreciated.

[Daveman]

What site are you using to communicate?  That could have a lot to do with what is happening.

[Brian]

Elenasmodels.com

[Shadow]

That a letter has been read but not replied to suggests to me that there is an "invisible agency" in between. Does not have to mean the woman is fake, just someone is picking up the letters, printing and translating them, then wiritng the asnwer back.
Explains the delay between reading and answering.

Second one might be ok depending on how fast she was asking for you to come. While it is true that many men never vuy the plane ticket, not many RW would invite someone to visit them in a second or third letter.

[Aloe]

There are so many countless possibilities as to why this is happening with this exact woman, a few off the top of my head:
1. She isnt interested enough to reply to you promptly,
2. Communicating in english is tough for her, so every letter is like going to work (what did you feel like when they made you write essays in a foreign language at school? Now imagine, how often can you make yourself do it without somebody making you?)
3. Somebody else helps her translate/write
4. She is working 2 jobs and studying, or something else to that extent of not having any time
5. She gets 100 letters a day, so it takes time to answer to all

The possibilities are really countless, as to why this is happening. But it does seem very silly to me to stop talking to someone only cuz they take a couple days to answer your letters. Just say to her, if it bothers you this much, that you would like to hear more often from her, cuz your wondering how she is doing and whats going on in her life.

[Aloe]

That a letter has been read but not replied to suggests to me that there is an "invisible agency" in between. Does not have to mean the woman is fake, just someone is picking up the letters, printing and translating them, then wiritng the asnwer back.
Explains the delay between reading and answering.

Second one might be ok depending on how fast she was asking for you to come. While it is true that many men never vuy the plane ticket, not many RW would invite someone to visit them in a second or third letter.

This doesnt make any sense to me. I almost never replied immediately. If i really looked forward to getting his letter, so id check my email often and read the letter at first opportunity possible, even if i had 5 minutes before i have to get out the door to go somewhere, id read, but not always have time to reply immediately

[Voyager36]

There are so many countless possibilities as to why this is happening with this exact woman, a few off the top of my head:

Or she could be visiting relatives for a few days, or going to the seaside. 

[Lily]

Are slow responses normal?  Is the Russian woman just doing this because she is not really interested in me?  I am 57; divorced; average looking or less; stable work; faithful; non-smoking; and non-drinking.  She is in her early 40s, never married, and very attractive.

As for me, I liked the Aloe's response best. She outlined a number of good reasons.

My suggestion would be to ask this woman about your concerns. Her being Russian would hardly to do something with the way she treats you. Except probably that prompt delivery of anything, be it private emails or customer service, would not be in the books of a number of Russians At the same time, it may be an indicator of lack of interest.

Is this woman serious?  Why not just tell me she is not interested?  Why wait several days between letters?   
 

Go ask her! why are the RWD people supposed to know it better, I wonder?

Do I wait or just move on with correspondence from other ladies?   

You would be better off in any case if you don't restrict yourself with one person, at this stage of relationships.

I am amazed at the perceptions with age difference and the attitudes of the Russian women.  My desired age target is 38 to 44.  Most ladies aged 38 to 44 want to marry someone up to about 50 and perhaps 55.  However, I have received many letters from very attractive ladies in the 24 to 32 age range.  What is the thought process here?  The reality for me is the 38 to 44 age group.

They may have some motives other than love. Or they may have alternative concepts of love.

[ConnerVT]

Except probably that prompt delivery of anything, be it private emails or customer service, would not be in the books of a number of Russians

Before I met my wife, I used to joke if my doctor said I only had five minutes to live, I hope it would be the last 5 minutes of an NBA basketball game.

Now I know a Russian 5 minutes is even longer!   

[Aloe]

My suggestion would be to ask this woman about your concerns. Her being Russian would hardly to do something with the way she treats you. Except probably that prompt delivery of anything, be it private emails or customer service, would not be in the books of a number of Russians

You know, Lily, i MISS russian customer service, it's freaking excellent in Moscow compared to Belgium. In Moscow you order something on the internet before 12 am, it will be delivered same day, order after 12 am, next day delivery. Here you can wait for your delivery for months. And when it does come, it turns out to be broken, and you have to wait another 3 months for replacement. Its awful. Everything is so mega slow here   Russian deliveries are champions of speed. Here its last century when it comes to internet service and buying on the internet.

[kievstar]

You said you were using Elena's models.  What city is this girl from as EM's does offer services to women to answer their letters on their behalf.

[SMS60]

At your age you should be showing more patience. Allow things to happen. Sit back and relax.

[SMS60]

Russian deliveries are champions of speed.

Never have heard of such service.

[ML]

You know, Lily, i MISS Russian customer service, it's freaking excellent in Moscow compared to Belgium. In Moscow you order something on the internet before 12 am, it will be delivered same day, order after 12 am, next day delivery. Here you can wait for your delivery for months. And when it does come, it turns out to be broken, and you have to wait another 3 months for replacement. Its awful. Everything is so mega slow here   Russian deliveries are champions of speed. Here its last century when it comes to internet service and buying on the internet.

I think you are dreaming.  It often happens, more so with younger people I think, that when they move to another country or even a different state, that they think back and only remember good things about where they used to live and think only of bad things about their new residence.  And, they even exaggerate what they thought was good.

[ML]

She said in her letters that many men write to her but the men never go to Ukraine for a visit.  I could sense her frustration in not being interested in a lot of letter writing.

- - - - - - -

This is a common misconception with FSU women.  Fact is, a lot of men do visit on WMVM trips.  However, such men prioritize the women they have been writing to.  Of course they do not always meet with all of the women they wrote to.

And guess who doesn't get a visit?  The women who wrote uninteresting letters, consistently replied late, complained in their letters about not liking to write letters, complained in their letters that men only wrote and didn't actually travel, etc., etc.

I had several who replied to my first intro letter with a short message saying:  "I don't like to write letters, here is my phone number, call me when you arrive in my city."

I never met with a single one of those ladies.  Didn't have any spare time after meeting with ladies who were willing to take the time and effort to communicate beforehand so we could learn more about each other and determine some minimum level of compatibility.

[ML]

Pay attention to what Lily wrote.  Regardless of the interest shown by any one woman and the speed of her replies - - - it is much too early in the game for you to be focusing on one woman.  Contact hundreds, exchange several messages with those who seem interested in you.  The cream will start to float to the top.

[Lily]

At your age you should be showing more patience. Allow things to happen. Sit back and relax.

If we talk about age, in particularly advanced age, my take would rather be opposite than that. Not to speak about our OP, if someone has a larger portion of her or his life left behind, and comparably smaller portion of life ahead of her or him, then she or he should rather speed up and make a better use of her or his time. Don't lose time, it is unaffordable now. Get things under control, and go ahead.

[SMS60]

Yes Lily in the big picture of life I can see where you are coming from.

But I was talking about the subject of dating. A man will get himself in over his head if cant show patience. As we see with the OP percieved problems. I always believe a man will have more patience and maturity the older he becomes.

His concerns are in line with most of the issues you read on the forum. If you step back and look at the big picture, the women are not the problem. The problem is the man who is asking the question. Not at all saying the OP is a loser or bad person. He just needs to work on how he percieves situations. You almost have to have the ..who gives a blank attitude. If you are like that then a woman not writing you back in a certain period of time is not a big deal.

Now if it is your fiance or wife you might have something to worry about.

By the way, How is Canada? Enjoying your new life?

[Faux Pas]

Brian,

There is a common misconception among newbies such as yourself and many oldies as well that RW have a different thought process from native women and IMO, that just isn't the case. I find RW to be the pinnacle of femininity. That said, if she is "into" you, you'll know it and your communications will not linger.

If her slow response bothers you as it seems to do, my recommendation would be to move on to the next lady on your list as this one just isn't that into you.

You apparently are seeking close to a 20 year age difference. Don't be surprised if many of your responses received are less than enthusiastic. Yes "many more"  women in the 40's are less concerned about age but, 20 years is still a concern to many. If the lady is sincere, she's looking for happiness not an escape and age does play a factor in happiness  

[Boethius]

I think you are dreaming.  It often happens, more so with younger people I think, that when they move to another country or even a different state, that they think back and only remember good things about where they used to live and think only of bad things about their new residence.  And, they even exaggerate what they thought was good.

Despite Russia's problems, Moscow is a major world capital.  The town Aloe now lives in is not.

[Sculpto]

Despite Russia's problems, Moscow is a major world capital.  The town Aloe now lives in is not.

Moscow: 12 million people.. dozens of museums, historical sites, cultural institutions, massive nightlife..

Podunk town in Beligum.. rain.. slow bus to nowhere special once an hour...

I don't know how Aloe is doing it.. any of us would be lucky to have a wife so dedicated and loving. 

And back to the OP.. some Russians are not so into the internet that they feel the need to check their email daily.. don't jump to conclusions about her interest relative to internet communications.. maybe find some other more immediate way to communicate that she is more comfortable with.

Have you sent her flowers yet?

[Ranetka]

I think you are dreaming.  It often happens, more so with younger people I think, that when they move to another country or even a different state, that they think back and only remember good things about where they used to live and think only of bad things about their new residence.  And, they even exaggerate what they thought was good.

Aloe is not dreaming. I miss Russian customer service too. I am now in a process of aranging a gas boiler engineer visit. How about the soonest slot availlable is a Monday three weeks from now and they can not even say if it will be morning or afternoon?  Otherwise it's Wednesday five weeks from now. And they do not work Sundays or Saturdays.

Or what about me not able to buy a freaking bottle of milk after 4pm on Sundays?

[Ranetka]

Brian,

There is a common misconception among newbies such as yourself and many oldies as well that RW have a different thought process from native women and IMO, that just isn't the case. I find RW to be the pinnacle of femininity. That said, if she is "into" you, you'll know it and your communications will not linger.


You apparently are seeking close to a 20 year age difference. Don't be surprised if many of your responses received are less than enthusiastic. Yes "many more"  women in the 40's are less concerned about age but, 20 years is still a concern to many. If the lady is sincere, she's looking for happiness not an escape and age does play a factor in happiness  

agree

[Sculpto]

Russia is pretty much open for business 24/7..

I think what Americans refer to when they speak about customer service is that fake service with a smile you get at many places when the server comes over and pretends to be your best friend for the next 45 minutes while you shove your face full of really unhealthy food. 

On the other hand.. try the four hour installation window from ATT and then they don't follow instructions for call before arrival or to look for the door on the side of the building and you lose half a day sitting around and still don't have internet for the whole weekend and wait.. no.. its gonna be the NEXT friday before they can come again and wow the bill just arrived and they are charging me for the week I did NOT have service because their guy didn't follow instructions and guess what the Customer Service agent in INDIA doesn't care and will not issue a credit..

yeah.. everything in America is the best. 

To the OP.. be patient with your lady.. and please try to be romantic and sweet with her.. she wants you to be a REAL MAN but she doesn't expect you to be.. a lot of men have most likely disappointed her and the other women around her.. its hard for her to believe and you are still nothing more than words on a computer screen. 

[vwrw]

Brian, if I were in your shoes, I would move on, leaving the first and second woman behind.

The first one is not interested in you, and she probably communicate with you because other admires of hers seem even less appealing to her. She might think that you are a nice guy, but you do not touch her feelings.  I experienced similar situation with my first fiancée. He was good looking, well-educated, well-mannered, successful, very small age difference and he treated me as a princess, but he never triggered in me a wave of reactions, and it usually took me 3-5 days to force myself to respond to him. At that time, I did not attribute the lack of effort that I made to lack of interest in him. I thought I simply did not like the process of corresponding." Sitting and composing letters is boring", I told him on many occasions. In contrast, with my now husband, I behaved absolutely differently. Amazingly, I answered him every day for the entire period we were not together. Each time, I read his letter, multitude of ideas emerged in my head that I could not wait to tell him. As a result, I became extremely resourceful to find time for him every day.  I believe the amount of effort a woman makes to find time for a relationship’s development is proportionate to the degree of her interest in the relationship. 

In regard to the second woman, I agree with opinion of ManLooking.

And guess who doesn't get a visit?  The women who wrote uninteresting letters, consistently replied late, complained in their letters about not liking to write letters, complained in their letters that men only wrote and didn't actually travel, etc., etc.