how young is too young?

[jaguar34]

Hi all,
i have a question. i have been on a dating site and i have a big age gap of women who show interest in me from age of 20-46, i am 45. i want to know how young should i consider? i do not want to get involved with some 20 year old hottie and find she is just looking for a green card to the states. but i also do not want to miss a 20 year old hottie who might be serious. see my quandary?
thanks

[Eduard]

Hi all,
i have a question. i have been on a dating site and i have a big age gap of women who show interest in me from age of 20-46, i am 45. i want to know how young should i consider? i do not want to get involved with some 20 year old hottie and find she is just looking for a green card to the states. but i also do not want to miss a 20 year old hottie who might be serious. see my quandary?
thanks

I doubt it very much that you will miss out on any 20 yo hottie who "might be serious". It is rare for any girl to be serious at age 20 but you can double that for real pretty girls who plenty of attention from men. Generally RW start getting a bit more serious about marriage and family around age 25. It's a general statement and surely some will become more serious at age 24 while others might not get there till they are 29 or 30. But when I work with guys who are in their 30s or late 20s I usually advise them to search for girls 24 and up. There are also other variables at play here, but IMHO talking to 20 year olds is a waste of time if you truly are looking for marriage.
Ed

[Shostakovich]

Hi all,
i have a question. i have been on a dating site and i have a big age gap of women who show interest in me from age of 20-46, i am 45. i want to know how young should i consider? i do not want to get involved with some 20 year old hottie and find she is just looking for a green card to the states. but i also do not want to miss a 20 year old hottie who might be serious. see my quandary?
thanks

The merry-go-round spins yet once again

[knighta]

If it was me in this position I would search no younger than 30.  Even at 26 a near 20 year age gap is too much.  For two reasons that almost an entire another drinking age and it would be like dating and possibly marrying your daughter.   The age gap is too much in my opinion. 

[Eduard]

yes, I didn't ask the OP what his age was, but there is more of a chance to have a successful match when the age gap is kept within reason.
There are always exceptions of course.

[ECOCKS]

If it was me in this position I would search no younger than 30.  Even at 26 a near 20 year age gap is too much.  For two reasons that almost an entire another drinking age and it would be like dating and possibly marrying your daughter.   The age gap is too much in my opinion. 

I agree completely with 30 being a near-solid floor on your age range.

Don't let yourself buy into the fantasy. It's a fool's game.

[Vegas]

I would go 37 or older.  It's really up to the individual and how comfortaable they are with an age gap.  You must also consider the maturity of the girl.  Some 30 year old women (and men) aren't ready for a serious relatioship leading to marriage.

[Eduard]

just curious, how old is the OP?

[Vegas]

45

[knighta]

The OP wrote his age in the initial post.

[Ade]

Hi all,
i have a question. i have been on a dating site and i have a big age gap of women who show interest in me from age of 20-46, i am 45. i want to know how young should i consider? i do not want to get involved with some 20 year old hottie and find she is just looking for a green card to the states. but i also do not want to miss a 20 year old hottie who might be serious. see my quandary?
thanks

When's the last time you interacted with a 20 year old girl at home? By that I mean had a meaningful conversation for more than a minute? Did you feel like you were talking to someone on the same wavelength as you, with the same interests and goals? Did you feel like you were compatible in any way? And by that I don't mean did you think you would bonk her given half the chance.

If you had a daughter of 20 - 25 how would you feel if a 45 year old dude like yourself was bedding her?

I met my wife almost 2 and a half years ago when she was still 29 - there's a 13 year difference between us. I consider myself to be pretty damn immature and young at heart by most standards but even so, I was concerned that we would be a little off on the compatibility stakes. It turned out well and we're more than fine together, but, I couldn't imagine having a teenager in the house and all the emotional drama that's likely to follow. Just 5 years younger and my wife would have been a much different person. Do you remember what girls were like in your early 20's?

There's no need to be beguiled by the hard bodied early 20-somethings, there's enough hard bodied stunning late-20s through 30s and 40-somethings to go around and they will be less likely to come with the teenage drama and more likely to be compatible with you. That is if you want a wife and equal partner to share your life rather than a child-bride to cook, clean, bonk and show off to the neighbours.

And yes, as rare as they are, I'm sure there are early 20-somethings out there that are serious, mature, and all the things that a 30-year old can be that will be interested in a daddy-husband but, in 10 years when they hit 31, do you honestly think that they will be the same person that they were when you met them, with the same goals, aspirations and will still fancy your saggy 56 year-old butt? What will you do then, when you are 56 and she leaves you for that hard-bodied 35 year-old in her gym? There are several on this forum that have done the 20+ year age-gap thing with a 20-22 year old and how do you think they ended?

On the other hand, train wrecks make for entertaining reading so go for it.

[acctBill]

There is of course the adage of half your age plus seven as a minimum age.  so 45/2 + 7 = 29 to 30 as a minimum age.

[Vegas]

Using this would mean a difference of 21 years for me, don't think that would be very good and neither is the formula.

[Aloe]

That depends on what you look like.
Do you look like this?

http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k51/sweartoshakeitup_/other%20guys/brad.png

... or like this?

http://www.celebrityclothingline.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/david-beckham-armani-ad.jpg

(and yes i do mean the body, but face as well)



Then by all means, there may be 20 yr olds seriously interested.

If not, then most likely not.
(i'm a 22 yr old girl, in case you are wondering)

[Jack]

My opinion only.

23 is the age of maturity for most Russian women.  Usually one year out of the University now most these 23 and 24 year old young ladies are more ready to accept marriage to a foreign man, leaving friends and family.

To help men in their late 30's and 40's who thought that a 19 or 20 year old was REALLY interested in them I used to tell them "no way, ok, maybe one out of a hundred", hoping they would see the chances were slim to none and slim has just left town.     However over the recent years I am now prepared to say, and believe, "ok, maybe one in a thousand". 

If any guy older than 33 found a 20 year old that he married and lived happily ever after with, I want this guy to buy my next lotto tickets.

[Aloe]

I didn't mind marrying a guy 35-40, as long as he looks good, wasn't married before, doesn't have children, doesn't mind that i still have to finish my education, wants to have children with me, and earns enough to support our family comfortably Cuz i'm not sure i want a career. Maybe something i could do remotely via pc at home, like manage a website. So i could raise babies! 
Oh, and if i sit at home raising babies, i'd expect hired household help, so i can focus on actual raising of babies instead of chores
There!

[Steamer]

I didn't mind marrying a guy 35-40, as long as he looks good, wasn't married before, doesn't have children,

The RW I know are very suspicious of 40yr old men who were never married. The thought being that if no one else found a reason to marry them something must be wrong.

[Aloe]

I don't find it suspicious, who knows what he'd been busy with, maybe working too much, maybe not ready emotionally, maybe never found a great woman, what matters is that he's ready now.

[viking]

You are 45. If you go looking for a young 20 something hottie this is what you can expect.
1. Several trips to meet these women
2. spend at least $15,000-20,000
3. Expect to lose all of it
4. either come home feeling ripped off....or....maybe have some great eye candy for a year or two and then lose half of what you worked for in your life in the divorce when she leaves you after she gets her act together living here.

Remember this. Physical sex with a 20yo, or a 30yo, or even a 40yo is the same thing. There is no difference. Emotional sex with a woman who truly loves you and you love her, on many different levels, is just outstanding.

You are 45. Find someone over 30. Do yourself a big favor.( and there are a TON of beautiful women over 30)!

[groovlstk]

Ask any guy here to list a the differences between Western women at age 40 vs. 20, and he'd hand over a list as long as Winter.

Yet whenever the same discussion centers around RW, there is usually very little or zero acknowledgment that there are huge differences in cultural influences, in short and long-term goals, etc. between women at 20 and women at 40 -- most guys seem to consider only whether 20ish women are "ready" for marriage and gloss over the maturity thing by foolishly assuming that growing up amid instability and poverty has somehow made her wise beyond her years.

[tfcrew]

Better chances [in this case] 10 yrs younger ...no more than that.
Now, childless 35 yo are usually infrequent but they are out there.
This is a serious consideration.

Best of luck..............................
Karl

[ECOCKS]

My opinion only.

23 is the age of maturity for most Russian women.  Usually one year out of the University now most these 23 and 24 year old young ladies are more ready to accept marriage to a foreign man, leaving friends and family.

To help men in their late 30's and 40's who thought that a 19 or 20 year old was REALLY interested in them I used to tell them "no way, ok, maybe one out of a hundred", hoping they would see the chances were slim to none and slim has just left town.     However over the recent years I am now prepared to say, and believe, "ok, maybe one in a thousand". 

If any guy older than 33 found a 20 year old that he married and lived happily ever after with, I want this guy to buy my next lotto tickets.

+2

He can buy mine AFTER they have made it to the 11 year mark. Until that point, it's all just hopes and dreams.

[Eduard]

Aloe is right, if you are very handsome and in great shape you could attract women who are much younger and they can seriously fall in love with you if you have a great personality to go along with your looks. But I still wouldn't go younger than 25 and you've got to be sure that she is really mature and family oriented. make sure she comes from a good home where the parents aren't divorced. Watch her family dynamics when you get together with them, etc. You really need to pay attention to a lot of things other than a young sexy bod if you truly want this to work long term.
If you are an average looking guy and look your age, I wouldn't go below 29 or 30. And do yourself a favor, don't look for 10s in terms of looks. Even an FSU 7 or 8, will look like a 9 or a 10 here in the US. So look at yourself in the mirror and try to be realistic about your expectations. If you can get a 35 yo 6 or 7 here in the US, you will find a 30 year old 8 in the FSU.
Having children together is also very important. It should bring the relationship to the whole new level.

[vwrw]

i do not want to get involved with some 20 year old hottie and find she is just looking for a green card to the states.

I think the number of RW entering into the international dating market with the dominating purpose of getting GC is very small. The vast majority of them hope to find a satisfying and lasting relationship. Even GCGs and the women who enter into the international dating market looking for adventure can be “tamed” if you have an admirable personality that makes their hearts beating fast. Therefore, if I were a man looking for my future wife in Russia, the fear of GCGs would hardly occupy my mind. What I would be afraid of is getting married with an incompatible person because the probability of having your life ruined by a mediocre-looking woman (not a hottie) who entered into the marriage with good intention and then was disappointed is much higher than the probability of hooking up a GCG. So my advice is – stay away from incompatible women regardless of their age. The similarity in age is NOT reliable indicator of compatibility; similarity in behaviors, values, and goals is what you should be looking for.

[Hammer2722]

My girl Olya is 29. I'm 45. I agree that if your talking to a lady aged 18 to 24, chances are they are not really serious unless they have children. Most of the women this age are either still attending university and have no future plans made out yet or are women that are into the disco scene and partying. I have met both women. One  was aged 19, the other 22. Neither turned out to be really serious about a long term realationship however I have remained friends with the 19 year old. She was a very sweet girl but just way too young for me.