RW and Truck Driver

[wcnwzrd]

Hello,
 I am a full time truck driver for regional and OTR(over the road - gone 2 to 3 weeks) and was wondering what chance I would have on finding a FSU bride. I have a laptop with a data card so will be able to correspond daily. But am not sure if I would be able to change my route to bring me home more often or not. Also, as a general description, would they be interested in riding with me while I drive. It would mean 8-10 hours in the truck, but you would have the chance to see a lot of the country.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[vwrw]

Not every FSUW that you will write to would be interested in riding your truck with you. However, some certainly will find this opportunity to be fascinating.  I would recommend you to mention that you would like to meet a woman who would like to travel with you in your truck at the very beginning of your communication with every woman and then ask her what her view about it is.

I guess my husband may be qualified as a part time truck driver since he often travels to different cities to conduct his exhibitions. Before I started school, I travelled with him, and I loved that, even though sometimes we had to drive two consecutive days.  Now I miss those trips a lot and am envious of my husband when he has to go on one of his trips, and I have to stay home. Moreover, I think those trips alleviated the process of my adjustment to my new country by providing me with new impressions on a regular basis.

[Steamer]

That sounds like a very tough sell.

[vwrw]

That sounds like a very tough sell.

Please provide explanation why you think so. It is impossible  to evaluate the merit of an opinion without knowing the grounds on which it is based.

[ECOCKS]

I remember meeting a gal for one date who had been engaged to an OTR trucker in the US. He sponsored her K1 and she was in the country for 3 months, riding around almost non-stop, making plans for how they would have a life-style but in the end she decided it wouldn't work.

She indicated that he was a nice guy and she even enjoyed the riding around and seeing everything but had reservations on the lifestyle long-term and was unsure how he would be an effective father. Of course, she could have had other issues as well. For instance, she indicated I was a nice guy too but since I was not planning on returning to the states anytime soon there was no point in us dating. I moved on to the next gal.

From the other women I met (hundreds) my feeling is that yes, you have a tough sell getting them to consider you and then significant challenges with understanding the lifestyle. A lot of FSUW will not have any understanding regarding the income a professional trucker can bring home since they can only compare to the truckers in their world and keep comparing western lifestyles to TV and Hollywood portrayals of life. Further, I'd suggest you absolutely not consider a gal without middle to high level English skills and the ability to drive. You'll be leaving her alone a lot and believe me FSUW go stir crazy quickly when shut up in the house.

Is it right? No. Will they listen while you try to explain? Not usually.

It can be done, if you're patient with the relationship-building process, clear about the lifestyle and find a gal THAT REALLY LOVES YOU.

[tim 360]

I think marriage would be a tough sell with you absent far more than at home.  Then again it will only take one.  Even with that one, after time she may not want the arrangement.

[JohnDearGreen]

Hello,
I am a full time truck driver ... and was wondering what chance I would have on finding a FSU bride... Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

It is not much different from finding a lady in the US.  Add up your positives and negatives and set your goals accordingly.   I am sure you could find someone, and she would have more positives than a local lady, otherwise why look 4000 miles away from home.   You did not mention your age and why you were having trouble finding a lady here, so it is difficult to say what your road blocks might be.

[wcnwzrd]

 well im 27 and the hardest issue I have with US women (those that i have met) is none of them want to go out on the road but don't understand the dynamics of driving truck. I have a house, that is paid for so I'm not homeless, I just don't really have anything to tie me to it at this time and I have gotten tired of coming home from a trip and having numerous people I don't know there.
 I have kids but the ex has full custody of them and I was hardly able to see them even when I did have a regular 9-5 job. I don't like to sit in a house alone, some of you may understand this. I regularly earn 45-50 a year with most of that going to a bank account. I just want someone that I can come home to or that will travel with me.
 I don't intend to drive truck all my life, just until something better comes along, preferable law enforcement. There is the possibility of only having to be gone during the week, if its a regional job or just during the day if I can find a local route.
 My main concern is that I don't want to put out the effort and money of finding an FSU mate if in the end I'm still empty handed.

[pitbull]

well im 27 and the hardest issue I have with US women (those that i have met) is none of them want to go out on the road but don't understand the dynamics of driving truck. I have a house, that is paid for so I'm not homeless, I just don't really have anything to tie me to it at this time and I have gotten tired of coming home from a trip and having numerous people I don't know there.
 I have kids but the ex has full custody of them and I was hardly able to see them even when I did have a regular 9-5 job. I don't like to sit in a house alone, some of you may understand this. I regularly earn 45-50 a year with most of that going to a bank account. I just want someone that I can come home to or that will travel with me.
 I don't intend to drive truck all my life, just until something better comes along, preferable law enforcement. There is the possibility of only having to be gone during the week, if its a regional job or just during the day if I can find a local route.
 My main concern is that I don't want to put out the effort and money of finding an FSU mate if in the end I'm still empty handed.

27? Truck driver? Ex and kidS? (Child support?) making 45-50K?

A VERY low chance of finding a RW. FSUW want to leave their country in order to have a better life, not worse. For the vast majority of FSUW what you offer would be a step down, definitely. If you do want to try, go for someone from a small town/village and who doesn't have a college degree.

[ECOCKS]

For the vast majority of FSUW I know, this would be a step up. The problem is that you have to take them up an educational curve to understand it and still have some significant lifestyle issues. As you say, most AW have trouble dealing with this as well so it's not just an FSUW thing.

[pitbull]

For the vast majority of FSUW I know, this would be a step up.

I do feel for the vast majority of FSUW you know 

[Chicagoguy]

My wife and are are friends with a woman in Northern Wisconsin who last year moved here to marry an otr driver. We have been to their house and it is a very nice house on a nice piece of property. She is from Sevastopol in Ukraine and has a 4 year old son.

Her English is good and her son's is amazing for such a short time. BUT she is currently all alone when he is gone. She doesn't drive yet [ but will very soon ] and neighbors are few.
There is a Russian couple less than 1 hour away but they really have nothing in common.

Her husband seems to be a really interesting person but still he is gone for a week at a time.Two to three weeks away would test many wives and would be even more difficult if she had a child. If she were at home alone I belive it would only work if she could find some good friends quickly.

My Russian wife looked at all this carefully and said she would never do it. But there is somebody for everybody if you search hard enough.

[ECOCKS]

My wife and are are friends with a woman in Northern Wisconsin who last year moved here to marry an otr driver. We have been to their house and it is a very nice house on a nice piece of property. She is from Sevastopol in Ukraine and has a 4 year old son.

Her English is good and her son's is amazing for such a short time. BUT she is currently all alone when he is gone. She doesn't drive yet [ but will very soon ] and neighbors are few.
There is a Russian couple less than 1 hour away but they really have nothing in common.

Her husband seems to be a really interesting person but still he is gone for a week at a time.Two to three weeks away would test many wives and would be even more difficult if she had a child. If she were at home alone I belive it would only work if she could find some good friends quickly.

My Russian wife looked at all this carefully and said she would never do it. But there is somebody for everybody if you search hard enough.

I think you describe a typical situation pretty well.

[acctBill]

As others have said it is definitely going to depend on the woman.  If she already speaks English and has some type of support network at home while you're on the road she might be Ok with the arrangement.  There are regional and OTR truckers in the FSU and other occupations that require husbands to be away from home for months at a time (military and workers in the resource industries) so these arrangements are known to some FSUW. 

Also if you're young it will probably be a few years before you might want to start a family so she might enjoy seeing the US in ways that few Americans have.  I certainly wouldn't let it hold you back from communicating with some FSUW.  The important thing is to let them know about your occupation and explain to them how it works.  You might also use an interpreter to make sure your occupation is explained properly in any letters/emails you send.   

[Phil dAmore]

Wcnwzrd: 

Assuming that you meet and marry an RW, do you really want her first impressions of the U.S. to be what she sees in the truck stops, loading docks, rest areas and scale houses?  All while trying to adjust to a new culture and possibly learning a new language? That's asking a lot of someone.

RW value stability and home life over pretty much everything else. 

Not to throw cold water on your idea, but it just sounds like a recipe for disaster.  With an ex-wife and a couple of kids thrown into the mix that makes it even more difficult.  Blending a family is tough even in best of circumstances.

In a former life I was an OTR driver and if this damn economy doesn't pick up soon I may well end up on the road again.  Part of the reason I got out of it was I grew tired of dealing with people who think wrestling is real and the space program is fake.

[acctBill]

Wcnwzrd: 

Assuming that you meet and marry an RW, do you really want her first impressions of the U.S. to be what she sees in the truck stops, loading docks, rest areas and scale houses?  All while trying to adjust to a new culture and possibly learning a new language? That's asking a lot of someone.

RW value stability and home life over pretty much everything else. 

Not to throw cold water on your idea, but it just sounds like a recipe for disaster.  With an ex-wife and a couple of kids thrown into the mix that makes it even more difficult.  Blending a family is tough even in best of circumstances.

In a former life I was an OTR driver and if this damn economy doesn't pick up soon I may well end up on the road again.  Part of the reason I got out of it was I grew tired of dealing with people who think wrestling is real and the space program is fake.

Phil you've been to the FSU.  I'm assuming you've been in some of the apartments or businesses or better yet into the back of some of the restaurants in the FSU?  The average restaurant in the FSU probably wouldn't pass a health inspection in the UK or America.  Small businesses in the FSU are usually run out of stores that look like something out of the 1950's America without the charm.  The average apartments are small with few amenities and sometimes numerous residents.  What would a FSUW see in an American truck stop, rest area etc that she wouldn't have seen worse in the FSU? These are some of the conditions in the big cities of the FSU.  Go out into the more rural areas and the conditions are far worse.

[Phil dAmore]

Bill:

Looking at it that way, it would be a bit of an improvement.  But is it enough of an improvement to justify moving halfway across the world?  I'm not so sure.  It's like relocating from  Gary, Indiana to East St. Louis or Detroit.  Yeah you are in a new place, but is it better?  I think not.

Additionally, back in the FSU odds are good that she would have spent her entire life thus far with her own people.  When she is suddenly exposed to all of the different accents, attitudes and prejudices of many different people it could cause problems.  

Truckers in general are not known to be a particularly gentlemanly group.  Place even an average FSU woman who is likely to be better looking than anything the typical driver has seen outside of a strip club and that could put the woman - and her driver husband- into an uncomfortable situation.  IME I have found that tact and finesse are not really strong points of drivers.  In short, the road is no place for a lady.

[wcnwzrd]

If i do happen to find a mate from FSU. I do plan on taking a few months off to assist her with adjusting and trying to locate a local job. I don't plan to bring her home and say "Okay pack your bags we have a 2500 mile haul tomorrow." That would be completely irresponsible of me. I understand the hardships was just wondering if it would be worth while trying to find someone while still on the road. If need be, there are plenty of local jobs that only want a few years experience and while most pay less, I don't have a mortgage to worry about and my support payment isn't that high as my wife makes almost triple what i do. The entire family merging issue won't pop up to much as I am hardly ever allowed to see my children thanks to our wonderful court system. but that isn't the point here. I understand the pros/cons of the lifestyle. sometimes it drags you down and all you want to do is give up then you get told you got another haul the next day or even same day. What I was asking was for FSU women's opinion on if they thought someone from their country might enjoy the lifestyle.
 I have no intention of spending the next 30 years driving truck. I want to have a family life again, it was some of the best years of my life. I do not plan on having anymore children while I am still driving if I can help it. You miss way to much being gone all the time, trust me I know.

[acctBill]

If i do happen to find a mate from FSU. I do plan on taking a few months off to assist her with adjusting and trying to locate a local job. I don't plan to bring her home and say "Okay pack your bags we have a 2500 mile haul tomorrow." That would be completely irresponsible of me. I understand the hardships was just wondering if it would be worth while trying to find someone while still on the road. If need be, there are plenty of local jobs that only want a few years experience and while most pay less, I don't have a mortgage to worry about and my support payment isn't that high as my wife makes almost triple what i do. The entire family merging issue won't pop up to much as I am hardly ever allowed to see my children thanks to our wonderful court system. but that isn't the point here. I understand the pros/cons of the lifestyle. sometimes it drags you down and all you want to do is give up then you get told you got another haul the next day or even same day. What I was asking was for FSU women's opinion on if they thought someone from their country might enjoy the lifestyle.
 I have no intention of spending the next 30 years driving truck. I want to have a family life again, it was some of the best years of my life. I do not plan on having anymore children while I am still driving if I can help it. You miss way to much being gone all the time, trust me I know.

wcnwzrd despite what Phil and others say there are FSUW who would find your lifestyle acceptable.  My wife was raised in Moscow and moved to London, England she would never accept such a life.  However she has a relative who married a Russian Navy officer.  He's always away from home and they live in a small town outside of the navy base.  All Russian women don't want to live in the US or in big cities in Europe.  This process of finding a FSUW is all about finding the right woman for you.

[ECOCKS]

wcnwzrd despite what Phil and others say there are FSUW who would find your lifestyle acceptable.  My wife was raised in Moscow and moved to London, England she would never accept such a life.  However she has a relative who married a Russian Navy officer.  He's always away from home and they live in a small town outside of the navy base.  All Russian women don't want to live in the US or in big cities in Europe.  This process of finding a FSUW is all about finding the right woman for you.

+1

[Steamer]

Please provide explanation why you think so. It is impossible  to evaluate the merit of an opinion without knowing the grounds on which it is based.

Because the OTR life is not an easy one and trying to convince a RW to go on the road instead of having a normal home life sounds like it will be a tough sell. I'm not saying it's impossible but I believe the OP will have to hunt high and low to find a RW willing to do it.

[Daveman]

wcnwzrd despite what Phil and others say there are FSUW who would find your lifestyle acceptable.  My wife was raised in Moscow and moved to London, England she would never accept such a life.  However she has a relative who married a Russian Navy officer.  He's always away from home and they live in a small town outside of the navy base.  All Russian women don't want to live in the US or in big cities in Europe.  This process of finding a FSUW is all about finding the right woman for you.

+2 adding that finding that woman who would find your lifestyle acceptable does not necessarily mean that she will find *you* acceptable or you her...  which is reemphasizing the last sentence...This process of finding a FSUW is all about finding the right woman for you.

[Nat]

wcnwzrd, IMHO, your job can be a problem in terms of international marriage. The matter is that your new wife will need time to adapt to a new life in an absolutely strange country. Travelling in a truck with you she won't be able to attend any language, professional or driving courses, and she also won't be able to make new friends, because you'll be constantly on the move.
If she stays home and waits for you, she'll be extremely bored and probably homesick, and you won't be around to support her and to help her adapt.
But not the other hand it absolutely depends on a person. Some girls can see this as an interesting adventure.
I think vwrw is right - you should explain your way of living to the girls you'll be communicating with to see if they are ok with that.

[Lily]

If i do happen to find a mate from FSU. I do plan on taking a few months off to assist her with adjusting and trying to locate a local job. I don't plan to bring her home and say "Okay pack your bags we have a 2500 mile haul tomorrow." That would be completely irresponsible of me. I understand the hardships was just wondering if it would be worth while trying to find someone while still on the road. If need be, there are plenty of local jobs that only want a few years experience and while most pay less, I don't have a mortgage to worry about and my support payment isn't that high as my wife makes almost triple what i do. The entire family merging issue won't pop up to much as I am hardly ever allowed to see my children thanks to our wonderful court system. but that isn't the point here. I understand the pros/cons of the lifestyle. sometimes it drags you down and all you want to do is give up then you get told you got another haul the next day or even same day. What I was asking was for FSU women's opinion on if they thought someone from their country might enjoy the lifestyle.
 I have no intention of spending the next 30 years driving truck. I want to have a family life again, it was some of the best years of my life. I do not plan on having anymore children while I am still driving if I can help it. You miss way to much being gone all the time, trust me I know.

wcnwzrd,

I never heard of any truck drivers in the FSU countries who would take their wives with them in business trip. While there are indeed jobs that assume longer absents from home, as mentioned above in the thread, wives are not supposed to follow their husbands.

It is commendable that you are willing to help your woman with finding a job here. You write that there would be jobs that require less qualifications. For educated FSU woman that would be a big downgrade, however, which they would hardly be ready for. There is rarely someone on the international dating scene who would be willing to lower their lifestyle if married abroad.

A good choice for a truck driver would be looking in disadvantaged parts of country, for someone who does not have advanced education. At the same time, this group of RW may have a hard time learning English and adjusting to the new country. 

I cannot help but joining the others. Tough sell.

If you don't want to spend your life as truck driver, I'd suggest that you start working on it immediately. Check out your options, see how you can fund your studies, enroll and do study for a good profession. Do some investments in a good future life.

[Gator]

I know a 40-something RW who is a professor at a technical university.  She fell in love with an European tour bus driver and would have moved to his country and stayed home keeping busy doing this and that. 

I must reveal that the mold broke when the heavens created her.  She is totally unique.  Nevertheless:  PROFESSOR  :heartafire: BUS DRIVER.  It can happen. 

I don't know your age, yet I would caution you to focus on the RW your age.  Young women are fun, yet many can not decide about something until they try it. That is too late if you have brought her over on a fiancee visa.