How did you meet?

[Tag-n-bag]

For those of you who have run the gauntlet, one time or several, and have married a woman from the FSU, where and how did you meet her?

An agency, at the store, in a bar, at church, at a dating function...?

[remiel6]

I met my wife through an agency. And although I won't name them, it is generally considered one of the worst agencies online. I am not the only member here to meet his wife using this site. I met her through the agency and took 2 trips to the Ukraine before we got married. The problem with the big websites is that ultimately they don't own the "agency" where the girl actually goes to get her mail and chat with you. So your experience is really only as good as the people who run that particular branch are honest.

[Aloe]

Video game online Like world of warcraft (that's the most popular game in that genre - MMORPG)

[I/O]

Is there an "it's complicated" option?

[JohnDearGreen]

For those of you who have run the gauntlet, one time or several, and have married a woman from the FSU, where and how did you meet her?
An agency, at the store, in a bar, at church, at a dating function...?

Typical boondoggle VM trip to Kyiv.  Mostly agency ladies, usually each one from a different agency (diversify).  Had two days empty on my schedule, Jan 6 & 7 (Ukranian Christmas).  Decided to shoot for one more meeting and sent the usual form letter to the Savanna agency.  She had only one tiny postage stamp photo on her profile.   She was not a Savanna lady, but I preferred to use a separate agency for my communications and translations (diversify).

Got the response listed below.  I usually considered letters and emails to be of very limited value before meeting.

We met at the train station McDonalds (In winter the train terminal is full of cold and flu germs, and always crowded.)  Later walked in the snowfall (White Christmas next day) to Taras restaurant for lunch.  Nice place but food was not too great.   Had dinner at a Ukranian riverboat restaurant.  Don't remember name, but good food with a warm fireplace.   Walked thru the underground mall and bought a gift for the kid.

So, contrary to some opinions, there are many ladies who approach a VM situation without a bunch of hangups.

--------
Hello !

I have received your letter. I will be glad to meet you. My mobile phone number is 8050528____ (if to call from Kiev). The train from Vinnitsa comes to Kiev at 9 a.m. and goes back to Vinnitsa at 4.30 p.m. every day.

I live in the city with the population of about 400000 people. There are five Universities here. I work at the _______ University, Department of History, at the library.

Ukrainian Orthodoxs celebrate Christmas on the 7th of January. But half of the population of Ukraine is Catholic. They celebrate Christmas on the 25th of December. My daughter and I are Orthodoxs.

It is great that you will come to Kiev, it is a wonderful city with gorgeous architecture, interesting and reach history and beautiful women. I am afraid that the Kievers will not want to share such a _______ man with others. But nevertheless I will be glad if I am lucky enough to meet you in January. In winter the temperature here is about 20 degrees below zero. Are not you afraid of it?

[FredC]

I met my fiancee through an agency. Like others here one with a not so good reputation, if I had it to do over again, I would not use the same agency.

On a side note, there is a bright light at the end of the tunnel.......She arrives in 1 week.

[Brianinaz]

Made one too many "agency" trips and vowed not to do it again. Set up a few meetings with women I got contact info from on EM and had a ad placed in the local paper. We met through the news paper add. It was a completely different experience. I think I probably got lucky as a matter of fact I know I did. Even the fellow who placed the add told me "you know most people don't get this lucky with the first try". I would recommend it by far over using an agency. However if that method gains popularity I would fully expect the scammers (maybe in an organized fashion like an agency) to start answering the adds.

[happilymarried]

I met my wife through an old online dating site, she ran an ad and I sent her an email.
and then it went from there.
we exchanged pictures, then I flew to Moscow to meet her.

[Chicagoguy]

I posted a profile on a site that had many Russian women living in America. However, I got a first letter from someone living in Russia. I probably would not have written her first because she was younger and a maybe a reach for me.

[viking]

We met on a social chat site. I was going to Bulgaria on vacation and asked her to join me. Neither of us had any serious intentions at the time. Well..at least I didn't. Emails and such for a year or so and a visit and then another, another, another.

[hon_bun]

I met mu husband in the States through friends a few years ago. I thought he was cute and he thought the same about me, we began to talk... we're married now! No trips to FSU on his part lol just some long-distance and some paperwork )

[GQBlues]

I met mu husband in the States through friends a few years ago. I thought he was cute and he thought the same about me, we began to talk... we're married now! No trips to FSU on his part lol just some long-distance and some paperwork ) 

That's exactly the same story with my wife's older sister except the man is from Germany. They met when she was there on vacation with her friend. They've been married for almost 12 years now and he's never even been in Russia once, let alone her city...

[dbneeley]

My wife had exhausted the "local talent" in the fairly small town she grew up and lived in at the time. She hired a local English teacher and translator to put her profile on a (now extinct) free site where I found it.

We hit it off immediately and, much to our mutual shock, wound up engaged during that first trip. Nearly fourteen months later, after intense communications to confirm our feelings had a sound basis, I returned to Ukraine and we were married.

Despite various obstacles in the meantime, I now live in Ukraine with her and my stepson--and we celebrated our ninth anniversary recently. Apparently, we must have done something right...but I would most definitely not recommend that anyone be foolish enough to expect this sort of thing to happen. Lightning does strike occasionally, but seeking or expecting it is foolish--just try to recognize it should it happen to you.

David

[Vaughn]

In 2001 I was exploring the Internet for European fishing expeditions when I was distracted by dating popups from
Excite.com's domain. I wrote to six ladies, all Russian. After 2 weeks I continued exchanging e-mails with only my
future wife. Then I received an e-mail informing me that she had been writing through an agency called Sweethearts
which still exists today. Fortunately, Sweethearts was (and is) legit - and my future wife was not only real, but very sincere. For me the 50 cents per letter fee was a deal - still, we preferred frequent phone calls.

I put my fishing trip to Arkhangelsk on a side burner when I met Elvira in Moscow, then traveled around together
for a few weeks. After a few more visits, we married in 2003.   

[hon_bun]

That's exactly the same story with my wife's older sister except the man is from Germany. They met when she was there on vacation with her friend. They've been married for almost 12 years now and he's never even been in Russia once, let alone her city...

Well, I worked and lived here at that time and it took us about 2 months of seeing each other before he even asked me to be his GF. I'll take my husband home one day, he's not ready yet. I definitely wouldn't be able to manage on-line dating. There is so much BS in it, it's crazy. People lie their brains out in on-line correspondence. I'm glad we met in person!

[Misha]

I definitely wouldn't be able to manage on-line dating. There is so much BS in it, it's crazy. People lie their brains out in on-line correspondence.

Different strokes for different folks. The trick is triage and, in my experience, people are quite capable of bending facts in real life, the exception being of course when it comes to physical looks which is a bit harder to mask 

[hon_bun]

Different strokes for different folks. The trick is triage and, in my experience, people are quite capable of bending facts in real life, the exception being of course when it comes to physical looks which is a bit harder to mask 

I know but you can still get a feel of the person you see right in front of you. And it's always better that you do. I'm not trying to offend those who met through a web-site and ended up well. But I do feel bad for battered mail order brides which are many.
And oh, I do write well. =) If I were one of those translation girls translating letters from women, half of the US bachelors would be lining up at Russian Embassies counting down the days.

[Misha]

But I do feel bad for battered mail order brides which are many.

Battered women existed long before the internet and domesticated violence is not limited to international marriages and I have seen no evidence that it is more prevalent in such marriages or among couples who met online...

[Anotherkiwi]

...And oh, I do write well. =) If I were one of those translation girls translating letters from women, half of the US bachelors would be lining up at Russian Embassies counting down the days.

Is that because you wouldn't have time to write to ALL of them? 

[Jumper]

In 2001 I was exploring the Internet for European fishing expeditions when I was distracted by dating popups from
Excite.com's domain. I wrote to six ladies, all Russian. After 2 weeks I continued exchanging e-mails with only my
future wife. Then I received an e-mail informing me that she had been writing through an agency called Sweethearts
which still exists today. Fortunately, Sweethearts was (and is) legit - and my future wife was not only real, but very sincere. For me the 50 cents per letter fee was a deal - still, we preferred frequent phone calls.

I put my fishing trip to Arkhangelsk on a side burner when I met Elvira in Moscow, then traveled around together
for a few weeks. After a few more visits, we married in 2003.   

Vaughn , cool story

Just curious , in your many visits, did you ever go fishing?


I planned to, but never did

[hon_bun]

Battered women existed long before the internet and domesticated violence is not limited to international marriages and I have seen no evidence that it is more prevalent in such marriages or among couples who met online...

However, local nationals have always been more protected and have friends and family to turn to in case domestic abuse happens. Russian women due to a number of limiting factors do not. That's why I'm very skeptical to on-line acquaintanceship. 

[I/O]

But I do feel bad for battered mail order brides which are many.

A throw away line.

However, local nationals have always been more protected and have friends and family to turn to in case domestic abuse happens. Russian women due to a number of limiting factors do not. That's why I'm very skeptical to aniline acquaintanceship.

Seemingly with no evidence to support that throw away line.

Lady, nobody stands for women's protection more than I but your line requires evidential support and right now, there isn't any to suggest the risks are equal to or even as high as domestic marriages. This forum is embroiled in as much BS as the next one quite often but something I've noticed over time is the posters here will drill down on baseless assumptions. If you can show us evidence to support your statement, please do and I'll be the first to support you and if you can't I suggest you think a little before posting.

BTW, nobody, least of all me has a problem if on line introductions weren't / aren't your style, that's personal choice to which you are entitled. Quite separate from the above.

[hon_bun]

A throw away line.
Seemingly with no evidence to support that throw away line.

Lady, nobody stands for women's protection more than I but your line requires evidential support and right now, there isn't any to suggest the risks are equal to or even as high as domestic marriages. This forum is embroiled in as much BS as the next one quite often but something I've noticed over time is the posters here will drill down on baseless assumptions. If you can show us evidence to support your statement, please do and I'll be the first to support you and if you can't I suggest you think a little before posting.

BTW, nobody, least of all me has a problem if on line introductions weren't / aren't your style, that's personal choice to which you are entitled. Quite separate from the above.

It's clearly going to be off topic, but I will still respond. Do you need statistics by state/major cities/web-sites?
From what I read on Russian web-sites, every other woman over 30 years old who doesn't speak fluent English or is limited in her language skills doesn't even know who she's corresponding with because those translation girls will sugar coat the text, I wouldn't be surprised if they even edit letters to make people connect faster or whatever. But then even on this web-site people say that they call their ladies and all they hear is silence in the phone receiver because those ladies don't know a damn word of English.
Wouldn't it be easier to manipulate those women into thinking whatever?
There was a case with a beautiful 18-years old girl from Russia a few years ago marrying this [sorry!] fat ugly guy from Frisco or LA (I guess love was that strong and blinding) who later killed her in his basement after months of raping her and such. I wonder why the US Embassy approved. Anyways, she's dead and gone and her parents are devastated but he clearly brainwashed her at that point so that she didn't call the police and report anything. She obviously didn't know much and didn't have anyone to turn to. I believe she kept a journal which gave the police a lot of evidence about the "marriage". She met the guy on line, too. And she was a beautiful girl.
It's just one example that is on my mind right now but I read about others.

Again, I'm glad for anyone who met on-line and ended it well and is happy. There is nothing wrong with that.

[I/O]

Yeah, it'll go off topic for a while but it'll get back there and it's not such a bad thing.

Do you need statistics by state/major cities/web-sites?

Any credible evidence will do. What we have right now is emotional speculation and one example which can't be cross referenced (I'm not doubting your example may actually exist but...........show us the evidence). One or some isn't many and certainly not more than domestic situations generate.

From what I read on Russian web-sites,

Yep, Mrs I/O read all that too and still does. She has actually matured enough to look at it in the cold light of day, simply shrugs her shoulders and says as I do, show me the evidence. BTW, she said the same thing to her doubting friends when they first became aware of our intended marriage a few years ago and tried to convince her I would absolutely be the original axe murderer, even though many of them had actually met me. Interesting how those same people now send gifts to both of us for birthdays etc and a spray of gifts recently for our baby daughter. I tend to go out with their husbands when I am in Russia these days. Point is, don't be sucker to the Russian propaganda machine, it's one of the most efficient in the world.

every other woman over 30 years old who doesn't speak fluent English or is limited in her language skills doesn't even know who she's corresponding with because those translation girls will sugar coat the text, I wouldn't be surprised if they even edit letters to make people connect faster or whatever.

I wouldn't be surprised either but yours and my lack of surprise doesn't make it fact. On the other hand, if you understand the MOB business at all, you'd see that connecting people is NOT the aim. Keeping them apart but communicating though the translator or agency IS the aim so really, your proposition doesn't actually make much sense if you think it through.

But then even on this website people say that they call their ladies and all they hear is silence in the phone receiver because those ladies don't know a damn word of English.

And what? Tell me something I don't know. I've been writing on the subject of getting on a common language platform for years and..........this is shared responsibility. If she can't speak English and he can't speak Russian and neither make moves to fix the communication void, whose fault is that? Neither of them (IMO) have any business moving to marriage prior to that being resolved.
 

Wouldn't it be easier to manipulate those women into thinking whatever?

Only if they're stupid and most would have us believe Russian women aren't that stupid? What you're implying and I don't think you intended to but I've seen it way too often is, someone who speaks English is automatically more intelligent than someone who doesn't (Read, able to control situation at the others expense).

There was a case with a beautiful 18-years old girl from Russia a few years ago marrying this [sorry!] fat ugly guy from Frisco or LA (I guess love was that strong and blinding) who later killed her in his basement after months of raping her and such. I wonder why the US Embassy approved. Anyways, she's dead and gone and her parents are devastated but he clearly brainwashed her at that point so that she didn't call the police and report anything. She obviously didn't know much and didn't have anyone to turn to. I believe she kept a journal which gave the police a lot of evidence about the "marriage". She met the guy on line, too. And she was a beautiful girl. It's just one example that is on my mind right now but I read about others.

I agree, one case is one case far too many. This is extremely sad but...................I say the same as I would to fat ugly old guys who come here crying when an 18 Y/O has kicked their arse, what would anyone really expect in this situation, a normal marriage? You'd be kidding. She, apparently of "normal" intelligence pursued this relationship and was going to anyway. It's a stretch at best to imply it is exclusively the fault of the "on line" world that she is dead. I fail to see where the embassy is at fault for approving her visa application.

Again, I'm glad for anyone who met on-line and ended it well and is happy.

Me too, I actually met my wife (albeit briefly) quite another way when in fact, neither of us was looking for marriage. hon_bun, I also could come onto any forum, including Russian language forums and state many Russian women are b!tches, they'll rip you guts, lie to you, divorce you, clean you out and so forth, I could even rake up a couple of examples but it doesn't make it universal fact and is poor form to cast such a generalised dispersion without credible supporting evidence.

[hon_bun]

Yeah, it'll go off topic for a while but it'll get back there and it's not such a bad thing.

Are you a lawyer by any chance? We're not on Discovery Channel either, I don't have a criminal case bureau here to give you case numbers as you understand. Maybe you have exact opposite statistics? Please! Otherwise I don't believe you!
But also, regardless to a name of a forum, it would be nice for a nice guy like yourself to let others state their opinion and respect the existence of it instead of doing what you do. Whatever.
I didn't say you were a creep, I said I was skeptical about on-line acquaintanceship and marriages based on them.