Ash's St. Pete thread

[AsH]

Hi everyone great fourm you have here.


Im a new member and im going to St Petersburg in april to visit 1 to possibly 3 women just wanted to ask the seasond guys some advice for my trip what to expect ect would be greatly appreciated.

This is a big step i know but ivé been objective about it read about the subject alot also viewed this fourm aswell.


Im 27 and i think i must be one of the more younger guys to be doing this?  what do you guys think?



thanks AsH.

[Jumper]

Hi everyone great fourm you have here.


Im a new member and im going to St Petersburg in april to visit 1 to possibly 3 women just wanted to ask the seasond guys some advice for my trip what to expect ect would be greatly appreciated.

This is a big step i know but ivé been objective about it read about the subject alot also viewed this fourm aswell.


Im 27 and i think i must be one of the more younger guys to be doing this?  what do you guys think?



thanks AsH.

I think you'll have a great trip to St Pete as the city itself seems a very interesting place!!

as far as advice,
not sure what you have in mind for your trip-
 how you are meeting RW.. ?
 whether you are renting a flat, hotel?
 planning some specific sight seeing etc?

Your age shouldn't be a factor,
other than some RW might think you are not old enough to be serious at this time,
 just up to you to change their minds..shouldn't be difficult.

Maybe  ask some specific questions of the "crew" in a new thread...?

[AsH]

AJ

Thanks for your reply well im going to meet one at the airport and hopfully i'll stay at her apartment,shes not sure yet but she has offered this to me. As for what we will do i dont know yet seeing its her home town i though she will have ideas ect...... for sure i will ask "the Crew" more questions thanks.


AsH

[Jumper]

AJ

Thanks for your reply well im going to meet one at the airport and hopfully i'll stay at her apartment,shes not sure yet but she has offered this to me. As for what we will do i dont know yet seeing its her home town i though she will have ideas ect...... for sure i will ask "the Crew" more questions thanks.


AsH

The only thing i'd recommend at this point is getting your own flat, regardless her offer.
I jillion reasons for this, and no they are not all selfish ones.
 It takes the pressure off her and you initially, so things can progress a bit more naturally.
If things work out you can always share your flat.
If things dont work out initially it makes things easier between you, and perhaps she doesnt feel
as  obligated to show you the city , befriend you , etc,
Russian's are gracious hosts and take it seriously.



Good luck!

[AsH]

Thanks AJ that sound like some very sound advice thanks.


But i doubt she will pay half or anything for an apartment.

[dbneeley]

Thanks AJ that sound like some very sound advice thanks.


But i doubt she will pay half or anything for an apartment.

Who said anything about the lady paying "half or anything" towards an apartment for you?

If your cash is so constrained that this is a major issue for you, you are simply in the wrong pursuit to begin with. If that is the case, don't waste her time or yours.

Those in Ukraine who could afford such a thing are not likely to find a man so limited in resources (or so cheap) to be an attractive option. Generally, dating an FSUW is not a matter of "Dutch treat".

David

[Turboguy]

I tend to agree that if her paying for half the apartment is important to you then you probably can't afford to persue this.

I am not in such total agreement that staying with her in her apartment would be such a bad thing as long as it is what she suggests and wants.  I have done that a few times and it always gave me a better feel for what her life is like and who she is.  I don't see any negatives in your case.  You are going to visit her only and the need for a backup plan is not likely.

[AsH]

David

I dont expect anything of the girl im going to see i should of phrased that post a bit better i know she dosen't  owe me anything nor do i expect it either.

I dont have any constraints and im genuinely looking forward to seeing her.

thanks for commenting though.

[dbneeley]

David

I dont expect anything of the girl im going to see i should of phrased that post a bit better i know she dosen't  owe me anything nor do i expect it either.

I dont have any constraints and im genuinely looking forward to seeing her.

thanks for commenting though.

Thanks for making that clear--there are far too many dreamers who can't afford this particular pursuit, but who attempt to do it "on the cheap" often with disastrous results.

That by no means indicates it is not a good idea to be prudent about what you may spend--and most serious Ukrainian ladies would think there is something wrong with a man who is not at least somewhat careful in how he spends his cash. In my case, my wife is incredible at saving money on nearly everything we purchase--much better than I am, at least in the Ukraine economy, and I am far from a slouch in that department myself.

However, the reality is that this kind of thing can be expensive any way you slice it.

That said, I am with Turbo in not being overly concerned about whether you stay in the lady's flat or not. So long as you have your wits about you, that should not be a major deal one way or another--and it can give you a valuable insight into her and the circumstances of her daily life.

As for my comments--remember that all we have to go on is what you write. Also, when I post it is with an eye toward those who may be reading but who often never comment at all--including other newcomers who have yet to find this board or even to have yet discovered the notion of seeking an FSUW as a mate. Often, these threads are read many months or even years later--and I believe it is best to be very clear about reality even if that is not what the original poster might be seeking.

Good luck on your visit and I do hope everything works out for you.

David

[AsH]

Thanks for you knowledgable comments mate.

i guess theres a chance the Lady might be reading too eh?

[dbneeley]

Thanks for you knowledgable comments mate.

i guess theres a chance the Lady might be reading too eh?

In my case, no--my wife thinks these forums are a waste of her time (but then she is insanely busy with her work as a clinic physician). For others, some ladies do come here from time to time.

I am also always surprised at some of the things men post on the Internet concerning women they may see or even those they are in relationships with. While my wife is completely unlikely to bother with any of this, I have *never* posted anything about her that I would hesitate an instant to have her read. I have also never posted anything about any other lady that would bother me if either such a lady or my wife either one were to read it. I also don't post photographs of myself or any of my family and never have.

However, it does happen that some men who have been somewhat indiscreet have been "busted" by a lady they have written about and with whom they may be either in a current relationship or whom they may feel there is a potential for one. So yes, a bit of discretion on your part would be wise.

David

[Faux Pas]

AsH

St. Petersburg is truly a wonderful first class city. You will have a spectacular time. That is, unless things go South with your #1 intended at the airport and you are left seeking shelter because it didn't work out immediately or a few days after your arrival. I would strongly advise you to not risk this. There are hundreds of apartments (flats) in Piter to rent and you can find them on the net.

Don't even ask the lady about staying at her place. It's probably put her in a very uncomfortable position and you should not do this. Rent your own place and you keep the key. If things go good and you end of staying with her anyway or she with you, all is well. You will need your own refuge and a flat is much less expensive than a hotel. Piter is a great city man and I envy you but it is important that you take precautions to insure you have a good trip. Your place or your room is one of those precautions

Good luck

[LAman]

Have a great time Ash!!!

Question though about staying in 1st girl's apt. You said in OP that you will meet 1-3 ladies, correct? If it doesn't work out with 1st, will you still stay with her and see another girl???
I think it is best to get your own place and if 1st time maybe at a hotel or mini-hotel that can register you.
LOTS to see, the ride in canals are romantic and Peter Paul Fortress I found most interesting. If it wasn't for police I 'ran' into all the time...I had no problems.....

[Rubicon]

definitely get your own apartment.  that way if it does not work out with the original lady, you can easily date others.  and be prepared to spend some Benjamins!!

[AsH]

Hi fellas,i never asked her if i could stay in her flat i consider myself to have good manners and respect towards women,she brought up the idea in one of our chats but i think we both realise we dont know each other at all and it may be awkward ect.

Im hoping she can suggest a apartment close to her own flat.

LAman

theres 2 ladys at the moment i want to see 1 i know i will see the other im not sure yet,but any more than 2 will be too complicated i think and it wouldnt be fair to the 1st girl to impose myself if it doesnt work out. and faux pas you need to also have your feet on the ground and think logicaly dont you?


Im sure the nerves will kick in later on, oh and thanks for making this "my"thread.

[JohnDearGreen]

i guess theres a chance the Lady might be reading too eh?

Chances are small.

But one thing you might consider is to avoid dating 2 ladies from a
same local agency.  It is very possible a lady might be good friends
with someone in the agency office and ask them "how many other ladies
is he meeting or emailing?"

[Faux Pas]

Hi fellas,i never asked her if i could stay in her flat i consider myself to have good manners and respect towards women,she brought up the idea in one of our chats but i think we both realise we dont know each other at all and it may be awkward ect.

Im hoping she can suggest a apartment close to her own flat.

LAman

theres 2 ladys at the moment i want to see 1 i know i will see the other im not sure yet,but any more than 2 will be too complicated i think and it wouldnt be fair to the 1st girl to impose myself if it doesnt work out. and faux pas you need to also have your feet on the ground and think logicaly dont you?


Im sure the nerves will kick in later on, oh and thanks for making this "my"thread.

Yes you do

[AsH]

In terms of having a back up plan in case the first lady doesn't work out ect how would you guys or how did you guys go about having a back up plan?

Contact several women from the same city? Seems a bit rude to tell women "heres my number incase the first girls dont work out" like their a plan b for you.


What do you think?

[Jumper]

Ash-
Everyone is going to have a very different line of thought on this..

from:
 simply your backup plan being local sightseeing (which in St Pete would be a lot to do)
to
 having some marriage agencies phone numbers on hand, or a profile on mamba.ru (dating sites)
or having someone like board member Jacks number handy so his local contacts could guide you to some reputable agencies..
to
 having you having communicated with 10 to 20 and already have specific initial introduction or meeting times for tea or coffee set up each day, with interpreters if needed,
organized and set up by yourself, or through someone like jack who offers this type of service,
 or local agencies etc.


The write one /visit one, or write many visit many debate (WOVO /WMVM ) has been beaten to death here, someone might throw up some links to the countless threads
but i'd advise read through them and see what you think..



 The main point of those who would debate all the details, and which plan is best, is that its important to realize that meeting someone is simply very random odds of whether you truly hit it off in person.
It's the same as some local first date, it either clicks. or it doesn't, and its generally in the first few minutes.just human nature.
Travel distance, logistics  doesn't change basic human dating /relationships so you just need
to recognize that possibilty, and have some idea of what you'd like to do with your time if the first 15 minutes one, or both of you ,realize this isn't "it", or headed anywhere.
Don't waste each others time, and move on quickly,
so its just common sense to not be caught without some idea of how you'd like to occupy your time.

This advice is entrenched here because of the many men over the years  seen to be so overly invested in a photo, a series of  emails or phone calls, that when "live without  a net" doesn't pan out, they've had the wind so knocked out of them and no other plans, they end up  just wasting a
week or two mourning their fate in some random city.

The general idea is to hope for the best,be positive ,
 but expect the worst , not to be at all surprised if it doesnt pan out in the first ten minutes,
 and have some contingency plan.
Which ever is best for you,  at this time.


Seems I've approached it in all of the above ways, for different reasons, at different times.
I don't feel there is a one size fits all for every person ,nor for even an individuals situation
at different times.


Regardless of approach, i always had some  idea or plan for what i'd do if the initial plan
din't workout.
(i'm able to have a good adventure just about anywhere, so for me personally having somone like
 jacks number handy or his email to connect me with a local agency if i wanted  ,or a local tour guide to see the area, was  the "plan", i don't mind not having something concrete, others would want a more tangible and well drawn out back up plan )

  The FSU (much less interaction with women) has a knack for laying waste to the best laid plans of mice and men, it is far more likely things wont go as planned, than that they will...
so prepare for that.

[LAman]

Thanks for your reply well im going to meet one at the airport and hopfully i'll stay at her apartment,shes not sure yet but she has offered this to me. As for what we will do i dont know yet seeing its her home town i though she will have ideas ect...... for sure i will ask "the Crew" more questions thanks.
AsH

Ash, I was refering to this post of yours. Did you change your mind and will get your own place? Not sure where 1st girl lives or how far from centre of St Pete's but if it your first time things are not easily accessed unless you know metro system.
I NEVER openly tell girl she is one of many to see. I only tell of meeting in person and how important that is to tell if there is chemistry. Also, if true, you can say you are meeting with friends and leave it at that. A couple of girls 'expected' me to see others while on holiday and I'm  sure some would  you!!!!

[SteveOR]

Im hoping she can suggest a apartment close to her own flat.

Typically these ladies live outside of the main city core in the large Soviet style apartments.  These apartments and their neighborhoods may not be set up for tourists.  It may be difficult to find and use stores or the metro unless you speak and read Russian.  Most tourist apartments are more towards the center of the city, on or near Nevsky Prospekt where you are more likely to find English speaking people and services more geared to tourists.  There are also many local marriage agencies in the core of the city that can be used as a backup.  I recommend finding these agencies on Google before you leave.  As AJ said, Jack may also know some good agencies (http://www.firstdream.com/).  Have a list of their addresses with you.  Should you need to use them, just walk in and introduce yourself.  I guarantee that they will be happy to help you. 

While there are many things to do in the city itself, I recommend taking the time to visit Peterhof.  On a nice day this is a beautiful place to wander in.  Lots of fountains in a very large park like setting.  I was there on a June day at the top of the tourist season and it didn't seem crowded to me.  A romantic place to take a lady to.

Most importantly relax and have a good time.  Even if you don't come back ready to fill out visa paperwork you will still return with some contacts and a better idea as to what to do next.  You will also have had a chance to visit one of the most beautiful cities in the world.  Have fun!

[SomeGuy]

Hi fellas,i never asked her if i could stay in her flat i consider myself to have good manners and respect towards women,she brought up the idea in one of our chats but i think we both realise we dont know each other at all and it may be awkward ect.

Im hoping she can suggest a apartment close to her own flat.

LAman

theres 2 ladys at the moment i want to see 1 i know i will see the other im not sure yet,but any more than 2 will be too complicated i think and it wouldnt be fair to the 1st girl to impose myself if it doesnt work out. and faux pas you need to also have your feet on the ground and think logicaly dont you?

Im sure the nerves will kick in later on, oh and thanks for making this "my"thread.

I'd also suggest getting your own apartment.  If you're finding yourself on the paranoid side and worrying if your penpal might try to make some $ off of making apartment arrangements, just find your own, or at least look, to compare to any suggestions given.  If things go south, you also don't have to worry about any possibility of problems with the apartment, while if things go well, there's little to stop from sharing the apartment, or hers, as things progress.

I do have to ask if you are using electronic or human translation in your communications?
Even if your penpals may be partially fluent in English, if your posts are representative of your communications, I'd suggest trying a bit harder to focus on actual, proper use of English, or you may find yourself having quite a bit of translation issues or frustration on one or more sides.
Missing periods and punctuation, run-on sentences, mis-spelled words, excessive abbreviations can all cause problems - if your posts are close to how you've been communicating, I would suggest at least running your communications through MS Word or similar with spell and grammar checking enabled.  

This isn't intended as picking on you, but I'm pointing out it can cause very real communication problems.  

[Anotherkiwi]

While there are many things to do in the city itself, I recommend taking the time to visit Peterhof.  On a nice day this is a beautiful place to wander in.  Lots of fountains in a very large park like setting.  I was there on a June day at the top of the tourist season and it didn't seem crowded to me.  A romantic place to take a lady to.

Most importantly relax and have a good time.  Even if you don't come back ready to fill out visa paperwork you will still return with some contacts and a better idea as to what to do next.  You will also have had a chance to visit one of the most beautiful cities in the world.  Have fun!

Wrong, Steve - it is the most beautiful city in the world!  As well as Peterhof, I would recommend Catherine Palace and its wonderful park for a romantic outing.  Anything else depends on how much spare time AsH will have - the Hermitage is an absolute must, and the women you're seeing will think a bit more of you when you show that you're interested in the culture and history of Russia as well as the bars, restaurants and night clubs.  Age doesn't come into it - I've seen people in there aged from 5 to 85, all wide-eyed and soaking it up.  Most Russian women, even young ones, seem to be interested in ballet and theatre, so that's something else to bear in mind.

Whatever happens with the women you visit, AsH, at least enjoy the city!

[Gator]

Wrong, Steve - it is the most beautiful city in the world! 

?????

[AsH]

Thanks guys.


i should of said earlier that i have been to P'burg once before in 2007 on a contiki tour obviously this is a different type of trip.

Can anyone tell me what an apartment will cost?