If You See This Picture on a Marriage Site, Click NEXT Immediately!

[JR]

I know it is over.  But this woman now has two heads mounted on the mantle over her fireplace.  I just can't sit back and do nothing while she hunts for head #3.  She needs to be stopped, and I am in the best position to do it.

20WHAAAAAAA!!!!!

Dude, get over yourself, get a life, grow up, do something but please stop vomitting all over yourself!!!!

She changed her mind, it happens! And from what I remember of your posting about her coming here the first time I can't say I blame her too much. Sure, YOU say you gave her all the love, attention etc. she needed but I don't hear her saying that......nope, there's a distinct silence on that one.

[Turboguy]

My opinion remains the same:  Once the lady cooperates with the man to get the visa filed, backing out is no longer a morally valid choice.  Honoring her commitment is the only morally correct choice.  I honored mine, but she spat on hers.  Case closed.

To me that statement is a little scary.  It sounds more like you thought you were buying a slave or a new car.  Anyone can back out.  I agree that people should look at a K-1 as a visa that is given to allow time to arrange a wedding and not as a trial marriage and a time to see how well you get along but lots of K-1's go south.  I saw the number one time but don't recall it however somewhere around 30% of K-1's change their mind and don't get married.  

Al, I am trying to ride the middle road on this and to encorage you to just move on.  The fact that she has done 2 K-1's will come up in the next interview if she ever has another and if her fiancee doesn't have knowledge of her past visas, the next visa may not end up approved so she is going to need a good explaination.  I have a feeling if she were here instead of you we would find out the reasons and I really guess that she had issues that made her make the choice she did.

Don't worry about saving the world.  It's a big world and can take care of itself.  Just try to put it behing you and when your mind is clear, learn what you can from the experience and move on.

[tfcrew]

I don't even have to tell you that if GOB can remember "little mistakes" like this one, this poor RW probably has a whole treasure trove of bad memories  .. from being involved with AL_C and his family.  

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=10114.0
 
Thread is locked

& The brain gets locked trying to wade through all 7 pages there.

From reply #83....

It is simply amazing how many people ignore the facts, distort the facts, or create their own facts out of thin air in order to turn a simple post in a simple messaging board into whatever soap opera fulfills their fantasies.

For those of you interested in the facts that were distorted or re-invented by the soap opera crowd, here they are. For the rest of you, please turn your televisions on from about 12:00 P.M. to 4:00 P.M. on CBS, NBC, or ABC to get the fictional entertainment you are apparently looking for here.

The company I work for, owned by my father, makes military hardware for the United States Department of Defense.  Please do not ask for any details because all of it is classified, and I would be committing a Federal felony by posting about any of it here.

Famous last words there. If everything is so well classified, then why mention anything?

 Reply #109...

Hey everyone!  She is here again, and we are having a great time.

If anyone wants to know any details, please let me know.

I just wanted to let the prophets of doom know how wrong they have been.  Please spare me your platitudes because I will ignore them as I have been doing so all along.

KenC was not ignored and yet after all, I believe he was correct.

My opinion remains the same:  Once the lady cooperates with the man to get the visa filed, backing out is no longer a morally valid choice.  Honoring her commitment is the only morally correct choice.  I honored mine, but she spat on hers.  Case closed.

I've never read a more selfish and immature statement.
It therefore is very well for her that she broke it off.
 
Also, Viking mentioned that he had met this lady and that she was really nice.
Too bad her picture had to be removed [under the smear of it all]
I think she looked amazing esp with her years.
I hope now that she finds happiness where ever she is.

Karl

[kmais]

I think I understand why she changed her mind now... With the kinds of opinions expressed by Al, heck, I would tell any women to RUN!!! this guy is a nut case!!

There is no situation, K1, CR1, K3, or anything that locks anyone into any relationship...

[Muzh]

Al, I am trying to ride the middle road on this and to encorage you to just move on.  The fact that she has done 2 K-1's will come up in the next interview if she ever has another and if her fiancee doesn't have knowledge of her past visas, the next visa may not end up approved so she is going to need a good explaination.  I have a feeling if she were here instead of you we would find out the reasons and I really guess that she had issues that made her make the choice she did.

Correction: She did only ONE K-1. She also did whatever the British call their visa.

Maybe the Briton was Al's evil twin brother. 

[BorisS]

I read some of Al's posts on VisaJourney. It is expected that your feelings would be hurt. But, you are both adults. She has the right to change her mind. We are human beings--not machines.  Sometimes feelings change. The best thing you can do is accept her decision and move on or your hate will consume you.

[GoodOlBoy]

Maybe the Briton was Al's evil twin brother. 

Or.....maybe the Briton was Al's evil twin brother family. :noidea:

Remember: "My mother, the BIG problem, is being very quiet.  My father is tiffed that I am taking three days off from work (he owns the company), but he will just have to deal with it". (sorry thread is LOCKED,  Reply #13 on: November 14, 2009, 09:09:08 AM)

GOB

BTW AL_C, father did "deal" with it just fine, by making you 3 hours late he taught you a lesson on who is in charge (real man).

[GoodOlBoy]

Also, Viking mentioned that he had met this lady and that she was really nice.

You are correct tfcrew, I had forgotten about this.
Care to elaborate on this "meeting" Viking?

I hope now that she finds happiness where ever she is.

I hope so to tfcrew, BUT unfortunately there are a lot more dysfunctional "men" (with their crazy families) out on the internet looking to "trap" a wife when they cannot possible get one here in the GoodOl' USA.

GOB

[GoodOlBoy]

Re: My RW is coming here to New York
Reply #83 on: December 12, 2009, 01:23:13 PM
 
"For the rest of you, please turn your televisions on from about 12:00 P.M. to 4:00 P.M. on CBS, NBC, or ABC to get the fictional entertainment you are apparently looking for here."

I did what you suggested the other day AL_C and Barack (aka Robin hood) was on.

GOB

PS.....Little joke: Do you know what ABC stands for?
Answ:  All Barack Channel  :evil:

[viking]

GOB

In response to your question. I met this woman the first time on her first visit here. We all had dinner in Al's home. She spoke excellent English, was very pleasant, seemed comfortable with Al, and enjoyed being here. The second time she visited we met again, this time with my wife ( who was not here the first time around). We spent time on the beach during a July 4th celebration and again at Al's home for dinner and again in my home for some refreshments. My wife liked her and she seemed even more comfortable being here. Neither of us ( my wife or I ) could see any kind of red flags in her attitude towards Al. Just a nice, friendly woman. But we did not push for any personal assessments from her side, nor asked any personal questions. Just enjoyed the company.

What I think is the bottom line here, and can understand some of Al's comments, is that if this woman decided, for any reason, not to go forward with the K-1, then at least have the common courtesy to let Al know about it, rather than just shutting down for about 2 months, and letting the guy hang. That is just plain rude.

My wife sent her a nice email and she did not even reply to that, even after telling her how much she enjoyed my wife's company and wanted to be friends with her.

[GoodOlBoy]

.....if this woman decided, for any reason, not to go forward with the K-1, then at least have the common courtesy to let Al know about it, rather than just shutting down for about 2 months, and letting the guy hang.......

Thanks for the clarification Viking.

It has been stated ad nauseum here on RWD, "When a RW decides she is not into you (or your crazy family) she may POOF! ".

Some people just don't read (or want to believe) what is posted here on RWD by others.

GOB

[GoodOlBoy]

She spoke excellent English, was very pleasant, seemed comfortable with Al, and enjoyed being here...... Neither of us ( my wife or I ) could see any kind of red flags in her attitude towards Al. Just a nice, friendly woman.

Then it really begs the question (and I hate to put you on the spot here Viking), have you and your RW ever met AL_C's family?

GOB

[viking]

Then it really begs the question (and I hate to put you on the spot here Viking), have you and your RW ever met AL_C's family?

GOB

No. Never had a reason to.

[viking]

Thanks for the clarification Viking.

It has been stated ad nauseum here on RWD, "When a RW decides she is not into you (or your crazy family) she may POOF! ".

Some people just don't read (or want to believe) what is posted here on RWD by others.

GOB

Going "poof" after a first or even second trip I can understand. But when the relationship has been established and paperwork is on the way to the embassy, poof does not work in my book. A simple sms, email, something, would be the correct way to go. IMHO.

[Ade]

Going "poof" after a first or even second trip I can understand. But when the relationship has been established and paperwork is on the way to the embassy, poof does not work in my book. A simple sms, email, something, would be the correct way to go. IMHO.

I agree.

Al has been a little hysterical in this thread for sure but I guess he had a huge emotional and psychological investment in this relationship and it hit him hard when this woman dropped him for no apparent reason. Was he or his family really the reason behind it? Perhaps, but I find it very strange that this is not her first time she has done this last minute dumping and I as sure as hell would not, under any circumstances, want to enter into a relationship with a woman with a history like this. Of course, everyone has a right to change their mind, but it's how and why it's done that shows the person for what they are.

Also, that some guys here really think a woman worth being with would wait 2 years to pay back a guy for turning up 2 hours late to meet her at the airport speaks volumes IMO. If any of you are in a relationship with women like this, then good luck. Personally, I think it's bizarre that a rational person would behave that way and a person like that is not someone I would want in my life.

[Jack]

turning up 2 hours late to meet her at the airport speaks volumes IMO. If any of you are in a relationship with women like this, then good luck.

If any guy here leaves his fiancee' sitting at an airport for 2 or 3 hours, no phone call's, no paging, no getting any information to her, upon her first arrival into the states on the K-1 visa, because your daddy would not let you off work early,  agreed,  good luck with your relationship.

[GregfromGa]

I agree.

Al has been a little hysterical in this thread for sure but I guess he had a huge emotional and psychological investment in this relationship and it hit him hard when this woman dropped him for no apparent reason. Was he or his family really the reason behind it? Perhaps, but I find it very strange that this is not her first time she has done this last minute dumping and I as sure as hell would not, under any circumstances, want to enter into a relationship with a woman with a history like this. Of course, everyone has a right to change their mind, but it's how and why it's done that shows the person for what they are.

Also, that some guys here really think a woman worth being with would wait 2 years to pay back a guy for turning up 2 hours late to meet her at the airport speaks volumes IMO. If any of you are in a relationship with women like this, then good luck. Personally, I think it's bizarre that a rational person would behave that way and a person like that is not someone I would want in my life.

It just doesnt seem right for me to agree with SJ but I'm afraid I'm going to have to on this. I guess 2 hours is a big deal and the guy shouldve been there on time at the airport regardless of the fact that this woman wouldve probably never been on time again in her life. SJ throws out the word rational, in my personal experiences and from keeping my ear to the wall on a number of these marriages, I dont think that word can be used to describe a number of these ladies. This girl has 2 of these on her belt now and it will be interesting to know if there may be more. Who knows? I do see somewhat of a pattern emerging. The guy is heartbroken, he feels used, he knows he's wasted his time,money and effort. Cut him just a little slack unless you've been there. If you've been there and handled if differently then by all means lets hear about it. I'm the last person to take advice from on these matters. I have found out I dont know shit. People change. Some of these girls change because of influences beyond your control and their logic is freaking insane. I cant honestly say I recommend this endeavor to anyone anymore. I mean there is a few that work out but what are the odds? I've talked to a number of people for obvious reasons trying to help me figure out the Russian/Ukrainian mindset. I've been married almost 8 years now and it's still a mystery to me. Throw in a mother-in-law, sister-in-law, different ways of raising children, a few friends and other disgruntled Russian ladies on message boards(which you have no control over what is being said or the advice being given) and you have a recipe for focking disaster.
The old joke about a Russian smiling when his neighbors cow dies, well there's something to it. This place is like a graveyard for people that has been there and done that. Yes we can tell some new guy to not send money and to have a backup plan and to google his new girlfriends name and how rent an apartment rather than a hotel but that's about it. The truth is it's a crap shoot with probably less odds of success.

[TomT]

My wife sent her a nice email and she did not even reply to that, even after telling her how much she enjoyed my wife's company and wanted to be friends with her.

Given the circumstances, I'm not surprised that she decided against staying in touch with "Al's friends." At best, it would have been awkward.

[TomT]

Also, that some guys here really think a woman worth being with would wait 2 years to pay back a guy for turning up 2 hours late to meet her at the airport speaks volumes IMO. If any of you are in a relationship with women like this, then good luck. Personally, I think it's bizarre that a rational person would behave that way and a person like that is not someone I would want in my life.

Many folks are building a case on the presumption that a grudge resulted from the airport incident. I would find it much easier to believe that her decision was based on a series of incidents, most of them unknown to us.

[GregfromGa]

Many folks are building a case on the presumption that a grudge resulted from the airport incident. I would find it much easier to believe that her decision was based on a series of incidents, most of them unknown to us.

This is my opinion as well.

[viking]

If any guy here leaves his fiancee' sitting at an airport for 2 or 3 hours, no phone call's, no paging, no getting any information to her, upon her first arrival into the states on the K-1 visa, because your daddy would not let you off work early,  agreed,  good luck with your relationship.

Jack, Jack, Jack

Let's put this to bed now. The man was late. He did exchange text messages so she knew what was happening. She was not coming here on a K-1 but a tourist visit.It was two years ago. From what I saw with them, it was a none issue. And now two years later the guy is going thru some hard times, due to her non-communication and breaking off the relationship at the last hour, which is far worse a deal than his lateness. Right, wrong, or indifferent, he is paying a heavy price. Let sleeping dogs lie. It's over.

[viking]

This is my opinion as well.

Agreed

[Jack]

Viking as I first stated several days back, I do not recall all the details and was not going to go back and look through all the emails. I did mention if anyone had some "cliff notes", if anyone knew what the true facts were, could they please advise.    This is the first I heard that the guy actually paged her.  That is a little more comforting to know.  Did not know she was coming on a tourist visa, thanks for sharing that as well.   And with this new information forth coming, maybe their was another reason we don't know about as to why he was 2-3 hours late?   Maybe it wasn't because daddy told him he could not leave, maybe he had an accident or flat tire. Do you know the reason?

[GregfromGa]

Viking as I first stated several days back, I do not recall all the details and was not going to go back and look through all the emails. I did mention if anyone had some "cliff notes", if anyone knew what the true facts were, could they please advise.    This is the first I heard that the guy actually paged her.  That is a little more comforting to know.  Did not know she was coming on a tourist visa, thanks for sharing that as well.   And with this new information forth coming, maybe their was another reason we don't know about as to why he was 2-3 hours late?   Maybe it wasn't because daddy told him he could not leave, maybe he had an accident or flat tire. Do you know the reason?

It is my understanding Al stopped to help a woman in labor. He assisted in the delivery and cut the cord. The much thankful woman named the baby girl Elena. This of course did not impress Elena as there were no reason for him being late. After a shopping trip all was thought to be forgotten.

[tim 360]

I really doubt she bailed on AL because a couple years earlier he was late at the airport for her, though it may have contributed to her thinking.  If that was the case she would have canned him 2 years ago.  She probably had other reasons (?) we don't know about and I'm not saying the woman had great deductive powers either.  There is just way too much we know little about and we don't know much about the woman.  She could have bailed on AL a bit more nicely intead of ...POOF...but then I am imposing Western ideals on to her and in her culture, POOF might be considered good manners.  I dunno how she thinks.

Best thing for AL to do is to get over it and I hope he does for his own sake.