She does not speak English

[joe24]

I wrote a letter to a Ukrainian girl on one of the marriage agency sites and she replied but she does not know English.
I know she can start to learn... but it will be very hard to communicate with her
For the experience members would you want to write and have a relationship with a girl who does not speak English at all?
Even is she starts going to English classes and tries to learn she still does not know the language if later you apply for visa.
I don't think it is going to work

[Turboguy]

There are lots of women there who do speak English at least passibly.  If it bothers you then I would suggest you read up here on what some good sites to use are and keep looking.  It is possible to find a woman from the FSU who is married to an American that will do some translating for you at a reasonable price and it is possible to find someone there who will translate for you if you visit.  I do think many find that it is hard to build a relationship with a woman with who you can't communicate.  Communication between a man and a woman can be difficult when you speak the same language.

It is not a requirement for a visa for a woman to be able to speak English but it will raise the question of how you will communicate.

[SANDRO43]

I wrote a letter to a Ukrainian girl on one of the marriage agency sites and she replied but she does not know English.

If it's a pay-per-letter agency site, she may actually be a he, i.e. Fat Yuri (see the RWD Glossary at left) .

[SomeGuy]

This is a personal decision everyone needs to make, and what may be right for one, not for someone else.

Many people have taken some English at University, and just rarely or never used it, so it's possible some may learn fairly quickly.  My personal direction over time became more focused on those speaking at least some English (perhaps a minimum of 5 on a 1-10 scale), which did remove some from the running, but there are members who are married to women who didn't speak a work on first contact, so YMMV.  It can be fun/interesting/bonding teaching each other some words and working through misunderstandings, and some people seem fine with translators (human or electronic) on emails, calls, and in person, while others aren't.  I wouldn't advise proposing to someone that you have only had deep conversations with via electronic translation, though.

None of this precludes Sandros comment about whether or not it is likely or not that you may be using an agency or site that encourages some questionable behaviors, though.

[ML]

I have encountered a lot of misunderstandings in talking to FSU gals who are fluent in English and who even teach English.

Raise the misunderstandings by some exponential factor for those who are less than fluent.

And, don't even think about becoming fluent in their language . . . unless you are planning a 10 year horizon or so.

[Daveman]

Well, my experience with the lack of English skills (and MY lack of Russian skills) was that while it's interesting and fun for a while it becomes a major pain in the butt in a LTR.  Things that are highly important to me, such as sense of humor, joking and laughing together, etc, are reduced to making faces at each other or sometimes laughing at circumstances (that does happen often.. so that's okay).  

So, I didn't go that route again.  I did it once, and that was enough for me.  Translated letters and the like are cool to learn about someone, but you really don't get a real clue as to how you really *relate together* until you can communicate freely.  Again, IMO.  

My suggestion is not to stop communicating, but to leave your options open. Communicate with a large number of women.

And also examine the site you are using (as Sandro suggests), it could be the translation money engine at work (or Video chat.. etc) in which case the girl in the photo could very well be real, but have no idea she's even writing to you. Or it could be a Fat Yuri.  

[Misha]

I wrote a letter to a Ukrainian girl on one of the marriage agency sites and she replied but she does not know English.
I know she can start to learn... but it will be very hard to communicate with her
For the experience members would you want to write and have a relationship with a girl who does not speak English at all?
Even is she starts going to English classes and tries to learn she still does not know the language if later you apply for visa.
I don't think it is going to work

If she is real and if the agency isn't using translation as a means to milk you for money (big ifs) there are other issues. I spoke Russian and my wife did not speak any English and it caused her a great deal of stress. Five years later, she may be able to finally take some university courses, but I expect it will take a few more years before she is capable of writing at an acceptable level.

[GQBlues]

I wrote a letter to a Ukrainian girl on one of the marriage agency sites and she replied but she does not know English.
I know she can start to learn... but it will be very hard to communicate with her
For the experience members would you want to write and have a relationship with a girl who does not speak English at all?
Even is she starts going to English classes and tries to learn she still does not know the language if later you apply for visa.
I don't think it is going to work

Joe-

On a scale of 1-5, 5 being fluent, my wife was a -1 when she and I first 'met' (wrote to one another). She told me upfront she doesn't speak/read English, but however will make an effort on her own to do so if we decided to continue and communicate. I was VERY apprehensive but since I was on a different trail prior to my trip, and she promised not to hinder our exchange because of her lack of English proficieny and that she would seriously pursue to learn English; I submitted to give it a chance. At least up until the time we met in person.

Today, my wife is just fine language-wise working full-time in the US.

I won't advocate one way or the other what people should do with their lives as I have no way of knowing what people's personal limitations are. Just the difference in cultures was enough to challenge (my) patience. Having little to 'no' communication channel because of lack of a common language, IMO, is a whole other matter...

[Chicagoguy]

My wife spoke practically no English when we met. It has been two years now and she is much improved. But still not at the stage where she could work full time. My daughter is a certified ESL teacher and she says 10 years for fluency - read the New York Times. It is hard work for my wife but she is determined.

And the older you are the more difficult it is. As it turns out she was worth it and we couldn't be happier. But if I had to begin this again right now I would not do it. Part of that reason it that we are older than most.

I am leaving for Russia on Friday and am in touch with some others Americans who will be in her town at the same time. One is a 66 year old man married to a local woman and has been there 3 years and tells me he speaks no Russian. I don't think this is right.

[Gator]

Well, my experience with the lack of English skills (and MY lack of Russian skills) was that while it's interesting and fun for a while it becomes a major pain in the butt in a LTR.  Things that are highly important to me, such as sense of humor, joking and laughing together, etc, are reduced to making faces at each other or sometimes laughing at circumstances (that does happen often.. so that's okay).  

Ditto.

With simple situations, we got along fine primarily because she is more demonstrative, optimistic and warm than most RW.  Serious conversations were almost impossible.   We used an electronic translator, and that helped but still could not clear up some serious misunderstandings when emotions got in the way. 

It is possible but will take years IMO.  She must be motivated to study English (that is another possible scam, sending $ for English lessons).  And the AM must must have a lot of patience.

So where are we today?  Discussing marriage. 

[HiTech]

When I met my wife she did not know any English. many Hours on skype using google and using google translate we could communicate acceptably. Bby our 2nd meeting 3 months later we could communicate with by occasionally reaching for the electronic translator or a computer, but most times there was no need.

On arrival Alyona spent 6 months in ESL classes, about 6 months after that she was confident enough to take a job as a restaurant hostess.

If you are taking the non English road make sure you are an EXTREMELY patient man.

HiTech

[neo]

it depends on both you and her and the way you intend to meet. I am in the eye of a particuarly bad hurricane right now brought about by this very problem.

When i met my ex wife it was not a problem, she barely spoke english but dismissed the translator after 3 dates to go it alone with a pocket phrase book, she was really committed to making our communication work (and learning in bed was MUCH more interesting than the classroom).

as stated you have to be super patient, and there will be lots of heartache, but within 6 months of EFL courses my wife spoke fluently and some of the fun we had during the months she didn't due to our willingess to make it work meant it was a non issue. sometimes chemistry overtakes language.

What i have now is a polar opposite, a girl who speaks little english and without the confidence to break free of the translator trap, I managed with the help of a iphone app to get her to see the fun side of going solo but for commercial self-interest reasons the terp slammed the door shut quickly on that one, my rusty russian is not helping get me out of this so I am having to call in the delta force to try and extracate myself (and her) into some place that outside influences won't prey on us.

Having a 3rd party as the medium of communications can be a incredibly bad force in your relationship, its much better to struggle and be patient than fall into the lazy trap of letting someone else broker your comms.

if you both believe in the other enough you can overcome any obstacle with enough patience, but it takes a big commitment both sides.

my friend had the best solution, since it would take her years to learn english and him years to learn russian they both decided to take a set of italian classes so they learnt the language at the same pace. they both became fluent and moved to Milan. having a neutral third language meant they both had to commit equally to the same cause and grew at the same pace.

[Jack]

since it would take her years to learn english

neo, curious as to why it will take her years to learn English.  Can you explain?

[Kuna]

When I was searching I just figured the whole journey is so difficult to start with why make it more difficult by increasing the language hurdle?

There are good women who don't speak English of course...  but to me, if they were really motivated they'd already be learning a foreign language and setting their sights there.

[Anotherkiwi]

When I was searching I just figured the whole journey is so difficult to start with why make it more difficult by increasing the language hurdle?

There are good women who don't speak English of course...  but to me, if they were really motivated they'd already be learning a foreign language and setting their sights there.

Too true.  My first visit was a WOVO to a lady whose English was quite poor (maybe 3/10, but still better than my Russian), and who had a friend translate all our correspondence - this worked well, as the friend lectured in English at the local University.  When we met it was very difficult to communicate much more than the absolute basics, and eventually she just gave up, putting herself down by calling herself a "stupid Russian."  Stupid she was not (she ran her own business), but that didn't seem to matter to her - she still felt stupid because her English was bad.  It didn't matter how much I tried to encourage her: she was not going to change her opinion of herself.

Last year I visited a lady with much better English (6+/10), but we still had some pretty awful misunderstandings in the time we were together.  So this time, which I think (win, lose or draw) will probably be my last attempt, I've decided that I'm only going to consider women whose English is very good (8+) to fluent, although you quickly find out that "fluent" can be in the eye of the beholder!  I'm talking to a couple of nice "possibles," both of whom speak excellent English, but it's still some time before I can travel, so there's a lot of water still to flow under these particular bridges.

It's interesting to see that several of the Hero posters married women who had no English when they met - love obviously does conquer all!

[Misha]

neo, curious as to why it will take her years to learn English.  Can you explain?

Depends on the level. Learning enough English to have a bit of small-talk may take six months to a year. Learning enough English to write well and study in English at a university will definitely take years.

[Chicagoguy]

Consider that living in the country where you are learning the language certainly is a big help.

[Misha]

Consider that living in the country where you are learning the language certainly is a big help.

It helps, but it still takes time. I have yet to meet anybody who could go from zero English to writing university-level essays in a matter of months.

[Jack]

Depends on the level. Learning enough English to have a bit of small-talk may take six months to a year. Learning enough English to write well and study in English at a university will definitely take years.

I have your very generic opinion, which parts of I will disagree with, now Misha would like to get neo's opinion.

It helps, but it still takes time. I have yet to meet anybody who could go from zero English to writing university-level essays in a matter of months.

Please understand Misha I was never, ever, referring to Rus/Ukr ladies who had to speak English to the level of University essay's.  I have on probably close to a hundred different occasions seen, heard and been responsible for ladies who spoke zero English who were speaking quite good English in three months.   For anyone to suggest it will take years for these ladies with zero English abilities to be able to speak quality English in years, I will just disagree with. 

I have myself helped eight non speaking ladies I was interested in to learn English.  Each and everyone I was able to speak good English with, no interpreter needed, after three months.

To get to this level it took one of two methods. Either three lessons a week with each lesson being two hours, or two lessons a week with each lesson taking three hours.   In my case, and the case with a lot of guys who have asked for my help with getting ladies taught English, I would always pay for the first two months English lessons in advance.   If I got scammed, made a bad choice, I was out two months English lessons, not so big a deal. 

After two months of English I would always call these ladies, and recommended the men to do the same with their ladies, and I would talk to her, I would try to see if those two months of English lessons were paying off. And the excitement you hear in her voice, with her little English learned, always brought a smile to my face as I am sure it did with her.     

After hearing the progress for myself, now I knew if I should proceed with the third month of English lessons, which in my case all eight times, I did.   And would meet the ladies in the next month or two.  No interpreter needed and talk about ladies being so thankful for you helping her to learn English.

So when I hear of people who say it will take years for a Rus/Ukr lady to speak English I laugh at them. SURE, if they are required to write a University essay, yea, duhhhh, but that's not the extent of English I need to be able to communicate with a Rus/Ukr lady and it's not the extent of English most men require as well.

[The Natural]

Personally I'm looking only for a girl who know English well. As for how quickly a girl with no knowledge of the language might take to learn it, will vary greatly. My ex knew English when we started, but of course no Norwegian. Shortly after coming here, she attended language school, studied hard and learned it. Just one year after she came here, she was offered a job at a grocery shop, so that means they felt her Norwegian was good enough for them to hire her and as you all may know, anyone working in a local shop must talk the native language.

Now, almost 5 years later she still work there and her Norwegian is excellent, with an accent of course, but everybody understands her perfectly.

[Misha]

 For anyone to suggest it will take years for these ladies with zero English abilities to be able to speak quality English in years, I will just disagree with. 

Depends how you define quality English. I define quality English as having a broad vocabulary, speaking with few grammatical (and ideally no) grammatical mistakes and being to converse on any topic no matter how specialized. This level of English cannot be achieved in a few months.

[dbneeley]

Depends how you define quality English. I define quality English as having a broad vocabulary, speaking with few grammatical (and ideally no) grammatical mistakes and being to converse on any topic no matter how specialized. This level of English cannot be achieved in a few months.

This level of English is also seldom required for a marriage, at least in the beginning.

David

[Misha]

This level of English is also seldom required for a marriage, at least in the beginning.

David

Yes, but you will have to be extremely patient and supportive of your wife as she works to achieve this level of English is she wants a job matching her professional experience in her home country. It can be quite stressful on a marriage  If a man thinks it will just take a few months to achieve, he will be sadly mistaken 

[Misha]

she was offered a job at a grocery shop

Sure these jobs are easier to obtain with a limited knowledge of English (or in your case Norwegian). If a woman aspires to something else, invariably, she will have to have a much better comprehension of the language.

[Misha]

Now, almost 5 years later she still work there and her Norwegian is excellent, with an accent of course, but everybody understands her perfectly.

I forgot to ask. How is her written Norwegian?