GOB and his Peyote Dream

[GoodOlBoy]

         This comment made by OlgaH:

   

Jack and Dr. Phil... and Femen with their bare  breasts and the national wreaths on their heads! That would be a big time show 

 
    And this one directed at GOB by Dan in another thread:

   

  You gotta be kidding . . . Are you a Jerry Springer fan GOB?   -Dan

Got poor old dysfunctional GOB to thinking    last night.   

What if there was a Jerry Springer show that was titled: "MOB's, I'm an FSU pimp, Sex Tourist and Femens from the FSU."   Sounds pretty interesting, doesn't it?   

Okay, the curtain slowly rises, the crowd starts to chant from a low crescendo to a high pitched squeal...Jerry...Jeerry...Jeeerrrry...Jeeeerrryy!!!   

Jerry announces that he has a great "International" show for his audience today.   Kicking off the show, Jerry has a "good" man that he wants to introduce to the audience and asks him to come out from the back and tell his story.

Out comes "Bob", a 60 year old, overweight, bald, slobbish guy who says he found his true love in the FSU. The audience bursts out in a big Ooo..Ahhhh!  . 

Then Jerry brings out Bob's new FSU bride "Oxana". Oxana is 25, tall, very thin and blonde. She and fatboy embrace and kiss. The crowd let's out again with a big Ooo..Ahhhh! (and a few cat calls    )   

The happy couple sits down in their chairs (holding hands) and then they both begin to explain how they met (the BIG LOVE at first sight story  ).   

We then go to a commercial break (something about the newest home exercise machine on the market.).   

Then....back to Jerry.   Jerry has a new guest he wants to bring out. He is a entrepreneur and has carved out a "decent"    living in the FSU applying his "trade", which is pimping FSU women to any man with cash (no screening necessary). 

Out comes you know who (Jack). The crowd starts to boo and hiss! Jack protests saying that he has been portrayed improperly and that he is only running a "Social" event for singles (although some of the men are actually married). He portrays himself as akin to a professional "matchmaker".     

The crowd, smelling a rat (much like GOB) doesn't buy Jack's story and starts booing and hissing again!!! 

Jerry announces that we have to go to a commercial break, but states that he has a "special" guest in the back. The audience knows what this means.....    

After we return from a commercial break about feminine hygiene products, Jerry brings out his "mystery" guest from the back.

Jerry's mystery guest is "Carlos". Carlos is 35, charming, handsome (almost gigoloish) and was engaged to a fat AW for 8 years before she dumped him for his best friend.   

The ladies in the audience seem to like Carlos.

Carlos states that he has been to the FSU in search of a bride some 20 times. He has had absolutely no luck. Poor Carlos  .   

Carlos also states that he came on the show to give props to Jack for the "great times" that Jack has provided to him and other AM visiting the FSU.

Carlos moves towards Jack giving him a fist pump and a big hand shake.   At this point Jack seems to be trying to distance himself from Carlos, almost acting like he doesn't recognize him?     

As Carlos glances over Jacks bald head, he makes eye contact with Oxana (Houston control, we've got a problem). Carlos "knows" Oxana (in an intimate kind of way) through one of Jacks "Tours"  .   

Bob sees right away that there is a problem. He looks at Carlos and says: "Hey!!...why are you looking at my wife that way?!?!".   Now Carlos being the gentleman that he is  , says: "I thought I recognized your wife fatboy Bob, but I guess I made a mistake".   

At this point things are getting pretty intense and Bob ain't lettin' go of the subject. He again confronts Carlos (like any Manly Man would) and Carlos finally breaks down and spills the beans.   

Carlos tells Bob the whole ugly truth about Oxana and him and Jack's "services" .     

Bob in total disbelief turns to Oxana and says: "You told me I was your first and only foreign man". Oxana, in a tearful murmur says: "I swear, it's not my fault, Jack made me do it"........ "The cheap bastard, made us all sleep in the same room together"......."I was a GOOD girl from a small village in the Ukraine and then I met Jack!!".   

The audience hisses and boos Jack unmercifully.

A 35 yr old woman leaps from her chair in the front row of the audience and charges onto the stage. She is Bob's DAUGHTER.   She wants to give Oxana a piece of her mind!    I tried to warn you about this MOB Dad, but you wouldn't listen!...exclaims Beatrice (Bob's daughter).

Nooo!.....All you wanted to do Dad was sit at your computer all day and Skype these gold diggers in the FSU and post on RWD at night.   

During this whole time, Jack has been answering his cell phone. Jack's ring tone is one that we all recognize: "Strangers in the night" 

This last call seems to have Jack on edge. Evidently one of his "partners" in the Ukraine is alerting Jack to the fact that someone is trying to move in on his "turf" in Kiev.   

Jack looks angry. He makes a quick call back to check on his stable young ladies (back in the Ukraine).   

Jerry asks Jack if he heard any of what has just transpired? Jack says no he hasn't and notifies Jerry that he has to leave his show immediately and return to the Ukraine....something about a problem with his employees  . 

Meanwhile, Bob has managed to get his fat butt out of his chair and is now approaching Carlos. It looks pretty bad for Carlos, but in comes Steve (Jerry's stage bouncer). Steve jumps in between Bob and Carlos before any real damage is done. 

Meanwhile Jack has exited the building, with a Jerry Springer camera right behind him. Jack jumps into his Purple Mercedes Benz (AMG) with white ball window fringe. As the back door starts to close, Jerry's cameraman catches the faces of a few of Jacks young female "employees"  .

The pimpmobile races out of the parking lot in the direction of Chicago O'Hare airport.   

Recognizing that the studio audience has gone into an uncontrollable frenzy, Jerry has to try and regain control somehow, so he announces another commercial break.   

OK were back. Everybody (except Jack) is seated and we are ready to continue with the show.

Jerry has another "interesting" guest to introduce to his audience. His legal name years ago was David Smith. Jerry informs his audience that David legally changed his name to Sex Tourist a few years back.

I kid you not...Sex Tourist (no middle name).   

The excitement mounts.....Out comes Sex Tourist from behind the curtain.   Some people in the audience notice Oxana beginning to weep again.   Uh oh....this doesn't look to good for Bob.     

When Sex Tourist makes his appearance on Jerry's stage, it is like old times in Kiev on one of Jack's tours.      High Fives all around, hand shakes and back slapping with Carlos, trying to steal a kiss from Oxana and joking about their matching "little red devil" tattoo's  that they both got together during a wild weekend in Odessa. (not knowing she finally got married to a mule AM)  .   

Well this is the final straw that broke the camels back for Bob. His dreams are now shattered and he is laying on the stage floor of the Jerry Springer Show, curled up in the fetal position, crying like a baby, with his daughter Beatrice trying to comfort him.     

Jerry, with a sad face, comes onto the stage to make his final announcement: "We are out of time!"....Tune in tomorrow for our next exciting "International" show titled: "I'm 40 something years old and married to a Russian teenager".

The Ukrainian Femens, in the back, explode with outrage!! They are offended!!   

Taking this offense to heart, the Femens decide to protest what they view as Jerry's oppressive decision to try and end their "movement".

So taking matters into their own hands, they decide to storm onto the stage, bare breasted, adorned with their national head wreaths, toting their signs and chanting "We are not whores!!"  .   

Shockingly and without warning, a group of XL American Women roll onto the stage baring their breasts   chanting in unison with the Femens "We are not whores".   

Apparently the AW from the audience were doing this to show "solidarity" with their Eastern sisters.    

And as the lights go dim and we break for the final commercial, one is left to ask ones self......"Could this ever be me?"       

GOB

[GoodOlBoy]

"GOB and his Peyote Dream"

Actually Dan (despite your title name change) this was conceived with the aid of a "couple" of strong Margaritas.

GOB

[Misha]

ROFL! 

[Gator]

GOB,
 
This is hilarious.   Smooth Operator from years gone by would be proud of you.
 
You should send the script to Jerry.  BTW, I once dated a woman who had dated Jerry (not sure this is something to brag about).   His nickname should have been Little Dickie.
 
Was there a limit on number of guests?  I ask because you did not include a man looking at dildos, or at least have him doing commercials for "rabbits." 
 
I must also comment not on your well conceived humor but on the fact that you slight 1) Jack, 2) old fat men, 3) sex tourists, and 4) RW. 
 
Seriously, do you believe that Jack's agency has never been responsible for connecting a happily married AM-UW couple?!  He has a picnic each year in Dallas for such couples.  What is your opinion of Jack's agency vs. HRB?
 
Old fat men deserve what they get, especially if they rush into marriage with someone younger than their daughter (even "wicked me" drew the line at that although it was only four years).  You saw such a man on Dr. Phil's show not because he is typical but because it created the stark contrast the show producers wanted.  I met a few foreign men while traveling in the FSU.  Most of the men I met were younger than 50.  To be honest, one was old, even older than me (modern medical miracle that he was still alive ).  Not one was obese, yet I once heard in Cindy Agency's office a young UW complaining about the agency arranging a date with a fat man.   Of the men I met, the most prevalent characteristics were a) professional and b)reserved if not shy.
 
Sex tourists probably are not as charismatic as your Carlos and David; if they were they would have plenty of conquests at home and have no need to repeat such expensive trips.  Regarding sex tourists, it takes two to tango.  A RW can always choose to keep her panties on.  And if she wants some sexual pleasure, why not!
 
 
You are also insulting RW.  I am sure your wife is a fine woman with good values, yet not all RW are princesses and should not be put on a pedestal. Any RW who sleeps with every man who shows up is no better than the men you slight.  However, my opinion is that most RW are decent women with good values.  I see that everyday in the 22-yo RW daughter staying with me, who is constantly hit upon yet rises above it.  Some RW were indeed desperate, which to me was both sad and a turnoff, and perhaps their desperation has led them to do things they would not normally do.

[Muzh]

I must also comment not on your well conceived humor but on the fact that you slight 1) Jack, 2) old fat men, 3) sex tourists, and 4) RW. 
 

You missed one.

[Gator]

You missed one.

The Femen?  Yes, it seems that GoodOl'Boy has formed a coalition with them. 

[Muzh]

The Femen?  Yes, it seems that GoodOl'Boy has formed a coalition with them.

Still one more. Come on Gator, you can figure this out.

[Jumper]

I find this in incredibly poor taste.

[Gator]

I had to reread it.  Yes, once again he berates BillyB for pushing the envelope but not as far as our President's father.

[Muzh]

I had to reread it.  Yes, once again he berates BillyB for pushing the envelope but not as far as our President's father.

Nope. I'll have to PM you.

[Gator]

GOB,
 
AJ is correct that from a professional position this is in poor taste.  It is Jack's business and you have no proof of what you imply, only a misinterpretation of a statement.
 
I am having some trouble understanding you.  You endeavor to help the newbies.   You and I spoke once and you impressed me as a well adjusted person, certainly not dysfunctional as you claim.  Yet, you remind me of a dog with a bone - you will not give it up.   Maybe Jack reminds you of some badass from the Corps who gave you a severe whooping a long time ago?  Again you berate BillyB even though he is not here to respond, largely because of you. 
 
 
What is your goal?  Do you want everyone at RWD to be just the same as you.  That would indeed be boring to read the same message every day.   Just because someone is different from you does not mean they are bad are even wrong, and it does not make you right.

[Gator]

Nope. I'll have to PM you.

Good, because I will not read it a third time.

[GoodOlBoy]

Interesting visceral reactions to a piece of fiction.
 
GOB

[Gator]

Interesting visceral reactions to a piece of fiction.  
 

You are married to a RW and should certainly know their belief that "in every joke there is some truth."  GOB, your intentions are clear. 

[Gator]

But you did make me laugh.

[Muzh]

You are married to a RW and should certainly know their belief that "in every joke there is some truth."  GOB, your intentions are clear.

Or maybe we're just plain stoopid.

[GQBlues]

Interesting visceral reactions to a piece of fiction.

GOB-
 
I cannot comment on your piece of parody (LOL) about the life and times of some MOBers....BUT...there is one thing I always take exception to..
 
I don't think it's cool to bag on anyone who isn't here to defend himself, or at least slip a counter jab, you know.
 
I know someone blasted someone else during their absence in the not-too-distant past and a couple of guys took it as an exception as well. Matter of fact, one of those guys coincidentally happen to be the very same guy you're taking a jab on.
 
I know you to be a pretty stand-up guy, man so I won't put it past you to understand what I'm saying here.
 
The comic relief is funny however...

[Jumper]

Interesting visceral reactions to a piece of fiction.
 
GOB

GOB-

a piece of fiction.. I don't buy that as a good  *out*

While humorous,

If someone made up a derogatory and completely fictional story about your  business ethics, and occupation ,and posted it on related relevant forums ,
(isn't it boat sales?)
 I truly  doubt you'd have the same sense of humor about it.


I've had this exact thing done to me on the internet,played off as only *fiction*.

 It simply loses the laugh factor ,when it effects your ability to provide for your family,particularly when its done by someone who has never used your products or services, and certainly never intends to.
Someone who has no real experince with the you  ,and merely is posting it to relieve thier personal boredom,or for their own or others amusement.


It can be funny..  and it can also cross the line.

[Turboguy]

GOB,
 
This is hilarious.   Smooth Operator from years gone by would be proud of you.
 

Personally I thought it was rather boring, tasteless and malicious.  Of course I never found SO's posts funny either.

[Boethius]

I had to reread it.  Yes, once again he berates BillyB for pushing the envelope but not as far as our President's father.

Do you really see an equivalency between a 24 year old student and a middle aged man?

[Boethius]

Old fat men deserve what they get, especially if they rush into marriage with someone younger than their daughter (even "wicked me" drew the line at that although it was only four years).  You saw such a man on Dr. Phil's show not because he is typical but because it created the stark contrast the show producers wanted.  I met a few foreign men while traveling in the FSU.  Most of the men I met were younger than 50. 

How about old thin men?

The man on Dr. Phil was about 53, and his fiancee was 38.  That's not much of an age difference, given their relative ages.

[dbneeley]

GOB,


Your allegations regarding Jack and his business go far beyond legitimate criticism and would seem libelous should Jack ever decide to file suit.


Frankly, you know nothing of him or his business. I have met scores of his success stories at multiple of his annual picnics in Dallas; I have seen him take considerable time and expense to give advice to several guys who are not and never will be clients of his--at no charge. I've heard conversations from his former clients about things that happened on their tours--including having paying customers booted off the tour for seeking to engage in the sort of "sex tourism" you decry.


In short, in this case you are simply spreading malicious and untrue gossip with no personal knowledge of your own. Since it is defamatory and these issues have been discussed by various people on this forum with actual knowledge of him and how he runs his business, there is simply no excuse for you to pile on in such a tasteless and vile manner.


Personally, having met many people who are now happily married through his services and hearing from his clients nothing but generally glowing reviews, I would not hesitate to recommend his services to men for whom this kind of approach makes sense.


On the other hand, I have been exposed to people of your ilk over many years, and I find little that can excuse this type of execrable behavior.


Why not man up and accept responsibility for what was both false and totally tasteless?


David

[Vinnvinny]

I take it Jack must haven stolen GOB’s girlfriend or wife sometime back or maybe raped his daughter or something. I can’t think of any other reason why a happily married man would wish to take valuable time away from his wife and family to pen such vindictive and malicious shite. The implacable rant tells you more about the author than the alleged characters.

[Gator]

Do you really see an equivalency between a 24 year old student and a middle aged man?

 
 
A 40-yo man would offer more stability and maybe (repeat MAYBE) this was part of our "long gone" member's attraction to his young woman.

[Gator]

How about old thin men?

We're not talking about me.  So it is okay to belittle fat men? 
 

  The man on Dr. Phil was about 53, and his fiancee was 38.  That's not much of an age difference, given their relative ages.

 
 
The thinner man said he was Dr. Phil's age (60).  I recall he mentioned he was interested in two women; his not so young daughter bemoaned that he wanted to have a baby with a young RW.  38 would barely meet that criterion, so ok.