Sending a "gift" to someone in the Ukraine

[Kineo]

I would like to send some items to my FSUW in the Ukraine. I am interested in advice on the process beyond the obvious put the address on the box. Are there lists of items that can or can't be sent, etc.?

[Kuna]

Why send a gift?

Have you met her?

If it's her birthday send some flowers but sending 'gifts' are unlikely to win you any points that are worth anything.

I know it may make some men feel kind and generous but some fsuw will see it as irresponsible to send anything of value to a stranger through the mail.

If you want send a handwritten letter through the mail. I did this before meeting my wife and then thought an interesting touch would be to trace around my hand on a piece of paper and stray lightly with my daily aftershave.

Upon receiving it she was delighted and told me she would place her hand over mine every day as she kept the letter at work.  She still has that damn letter and teases me sometimes about how romantic I was back then... ;-)

[Patagonie]

Kuna is righ, if you haven't met her, don't begin to send gift.
And if you are making a WMVM don't bring gift with someone you know lightly.
You can bring a gift if you have a huge correspondance with a girl and you meet her for the first time. But nothing expensive, just little things, from your country for example. You can ask too if she needs something like a perfume, just before your flight off. But no more.

[Ronnie]

Reminder...there's no "the" preceding the country of Ukraine.

[Nat]

Come on, guys, you don't even know what he's gonna send and already start teaching him what to do! May be he's gonna send her a CD or a stuffed teddy bear

I would like to send some items to my FSUW in the Ukraine. I am interested in advice on the process beyond the obvious put the address on the box. Are there lists of items that can or can't be sent, etc.?

The list of prohibited goods is the same as everywhere - guns, explosives, etc. If you're gonna use state post, don't send anything valuable, because it can and definitely will be stolen. If it's something fragile, pack it thoroughly, because even special signs don't usually help - boxes are thrown without any care. And be prepared, that your parcel will be doing a looooong, really looooong way till it reaches the recipient.
I know that there are other ways of sending stuff like DHL, but i've never dealt with them - may be others can share info on that topic.

[Muzh]

Come on, guys, you don't even know what he's gonna send and already start teaching him what to do! May be he's gonna send her a CD or a stuffed teddy bear

Hear Hear!
 
My you guys are a bunch of unromantic crabs. 
 
He said he was sending a gift, as in no strings attached. Very different from sending her a monthly stipend.
 
Jeez.

[Kineo]

If you want send a handwritten letter through the mail. I did this before meeting my wife and then thought an interesting touch would be to trace around my hand on a piece of paper and stray lightly with my daily aftershave.

No, I have not met her yet. We are working on the making this happen.
 
I like your thought. I bet it played a part in winning her heart. I promise not to copy the thought though. My thought does have some similiarities though. The company she works for has gone out of business and she was kind of down and mentioned she wished that she had something of mine that she could hold to make her feel closer to me.
 
 
 
 

[Kineo]

Reminder...there's no "the" preceding the country of Ukraine.

My bad!
 
Thanks for pointing that out, I know better.
 

[XMan]

There is a thread somewhere with shipping recommendations. 

I have had good success at reasonable cost with US Postal Priority and also Express.  Both may be tracked all the way to delivery.  Pricing through FedEx, UPS, and others was seriously more cash, at least from where I live.  Sent a priority mail package 3 weeks ago to a village in Ukraine, actually got there in 18 days, and in one piece. 

Good luck. 

[Kineo]

Nat & Muzh & XMan thanks for the support and info.
 
Honestly all the points of view are great to hear. I will be write a little more about my experience as I am planning my first trip to Ukraine and have quite a few questions.

[Spoon]

If you want send a handwritten letter through the mail. I did this before meeting my wife and then thought an interesting touch would be to trace around my hand on a piece of paper and stray lightly with my daily aftershave.

Upon receiving it she was delighted and told me she would place her hand over mine every day as she kept the letter at work.  She still has that damn letter and teases me sometimes about how romantic I was back then... ;-)

Hehe! nice touch Kuna.

There's nothing wrong with sending a small something to her, even if you haven't met.
I sent a small parcel (to my now Wife) with some inexpensive jewelry made from Iron Ore (related to my work in an Iron Ore mine) a CD I made of music I like, a few pamphlets on the local area and a nice handwritten letter before we had met, but after a couple of months of exclusive correspondence. I wouldn't send anything expensive for a couple of reasons 1) it could go missing & 2) it may be taken the wrong way by your Lady. It didn't matter to me whether she liked my gift, ever wore the jewelry or hated my taste in music, I just wanted her to know that I made the effort and that she was special.

We also sent several more handwritten letters by snail mail and I remember one letter she wrote along the lines of " even if it never works out for us, maybe one day our Grandkids will find these strange pieces of paper and perhaps have just enough interest to visit each others Countries" very romantic to say the least!

There's no hard & fast rule for if, when, why, how you should send gifts, just do what you think is right for you and your girl

[Ronnie]

Meest America.  www.meest.us has been excellent for me so far and much lower prices than the services mentioned above.

[Wayne]

Post cards ususlly get through the mail as there can be nothing inside.
Very thin letters would usually get through, but it takes several weeks.
Greeting cards usually never get through, as the postal worker is looking for money inside.
It is illegal to send money or certain documents through the regular mail. For example, I don't think you can send checks or money orders.
Express mail at the post office is tracked all the way and the receiver usually has to sign for it. It starts at about $20. A document only package is available.
Before you send anything by DHL, FEDEX or UPS--compare rates and make sure they have service available in her area.
Many apartments have broken mail boxes in fsu. People steal each other's mail!
If you find a local guide in the girl's city, you might be able to have that person bring flowers or a small gift to your girl. If you try this, start our small and have the person take a digital photo of the girl with the gift. I did flowers, birthday cake and stuffed toy for her child this way. Actually, I found that fresh flowers bought locally are quite cheep!
 
 

[myheart2ukraine]

 Honestly all the points of view are great to hear. I will be write a little more about my experience as I am planning my first trip to Ukraine and have quite a few questions.

kineo good 2 hear your making your first trip 2 ukraine 2 meet your woman soon
if you have been in correspondence with her for awhile i would send her a little $ if i was you so then she can buy whatever. forget about the post
here in ukraine there is a saying, the tight-fistfull pay twice so think on this if i was you. remember allways have a plan B here when sometimes much plan  A goes down like the titanic
myheart2ukraine     

[Manny]

i would send her a little $ if i was you

Treat that advice with extreme caution. Most here would advise you to do nothing of the sort with a lady you haven't even met yet.


Personally, I wouldn't bother so much with gifts with someone you haven't met yet. Or if I did, it would be stuff sent by regular untracked snail mail with a value that makes it not matter if it doesn't arrive.

[Muzh]

Treat that advice with extreme caution. Most here would advise you to do nothing of the sort with a lady you haven't even met yet.


Personally, I wouldn't bother so much with gifts with someone you haven't met yet. Or if I did, it would be stuff sent by regular untracked snail mail with a value that makes it not matter if it doesn't arrive.

I'll second that. Never send any money to someone you haven't met. AND if you have met her and asks you for money, dump her and start again. It has nothing to do with the money, it has everything to do with the intentions.


Gifts, on the other hand works great to break the ice. As the word implies (gift) you give it expecting only a blush or a thank you and nothing else. These ladies (any lady) love to be surprised with special tokens from you.


Most importantly, have fun.

[Anotherkiwi]

I'll second that. Never send any money to someone you haven't met. AND if you have met her and asks you for money, dump her and start again. It has nothing to do with the money, it has everything to do with the intentions.
 
Gifts, on the other hand works great to break the ice. As the word implies (gift) you give it expecting only a blush or a thank you and nothing else. These ladies (any lady) love to be surprised with special tokens from you.

Most importantly, have fun.

I see this all the time from experienced (read: already married, or been there, done that) guys, but I think that times are changing ever so slightly.  Money can quite easily be used to buy a gift that may not be available in the man's home country, or for something which may help the relationship develop.  Before everyone starts jumping up and down, I'm not talking about sending hundreds or thousands of dollars for the standard scams - for instance, I sent the lady I went to meet last year some money (well before I flew out) so that she could buy a new web-camera for our Skype calls and train tickets to our rendezvous.
 
Everyone on here also goes on about how the man is expected to pay for everything anyway, so what difference does it make if you trust her enough to send her some of that money to let her make some of the arrangements?  Although I would have been extremely surprised if my trust had been misplaced in this instance, the total amount was under $150 so, although I would have been more than annoyed had she not shown up, it was never going to break the bank.

As for this - totally agree, unless it's a small amount for something incidental.

[myheart2ukraine]

I see this all the time from experienced (read: already married, or been there, done that) guys, but I think that times are changing ever so slightly.  Money can quite easily be used to buy a gift that may not be available in the man's home country, or for something which may help the relationship develop.  Before everyone starts jumping up and down, I'm not talking about sending hundreds or thousands of dollars for the standard scams - for instance, I sent the lady I went to meet last year some money (well before I flew out) so that she could buy a new web-camera for our Skype calls and train tickets to our rendezvous.
 
Everyone on here also goes on about how the man is expected to pay for everything anyway, so what difference does it make if you trust her enough to send her some of that money to let her make some of the arrangements?  Although I would have been extremely surprised if my trust had been misplaced in this instance, the total amount was under $150 so, although I would have been more than annoyed had she not shown up, it was never going to break the bank.

As for this - totally agree, unless it's a small amount for something incidental.

a kiwi putting our manny down, you won`t like that will you our northern boy made good. manny  i have told you before 2 put all them red flags down you carry around & learn 2 trust, not all woman that are corresponding with guys are scammers
muzh mate you is out-of-date, times change as kiwi said & if i was you i would stick 2 your marriage & not 2 seconding anything our mannys says again
guys learn 2 trust your woman by sending her a few $ for at-least you is on the first step of the ladder 2 hopefully romance/love. remember the tight-fistfull pay twice here, so make sure you are not 1 of these
manny MH2U thinks you should revise that chapter in your best selling book (russian bride guide) 2 sending a little $ 2 help a relationship flourish but what does MH2U know he`s only a soft southerner
myheart2ukraine     

[Muzh]

AKiwi


Valid points.


Let's work this out in two parts.


First, IF you have no problems sending money with a no-strings-attached condition feel free to disregard the no-send-any-money advice. But look at these forums and you'll see guys bitching they were scammed because they sent the lady thousands of $$$ and she walked away. In many instances the girl was way out of his league and he probably thought that he could buy her love with gifts and money. IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME HERE OR THERE (for the peanut gallery) You know the old saw: A fool and his money...


The other point I was going to make is that many of the good ones (not all) will feel ashamed of taking a stranger's money before they meet, specially after spending some time chatting on the phone, skype, email, etc. If there is some rapport between both of you she will try to show you that she can handle herself well; after all she managed to survive this long without you.


Bottom line, send money expecting nothing in return.

muzh mate you is out-of-date, times change as kiwi said & if i was you i would stick 2 your marriage & not 2 seconding anything our mannys says again
guys learn 2 trust your woman by sending her a few $ for at-least you is on the first step of the ladder 2 hopefully romance/love. remember the tight-fistfull pay twice here, so make sure you are not 1 of these

Really? You is shacking with the young new russians r u? You'll not survive long in this business by telling these guys to send the girls money and you not having a money back guarantee when they move along with Ivan.


BTW, I'm in UA right now. My 18 yo nephew is asking if you really know UA girls.

[Faux Pas]

muzh mate you is out-of-date, times change as kiwi said & if i was you i would stick 2 your marriage & not 2 seconding anything our mannys says again
guys learn 2 trust your woman by sending her a few $ for at-least you is on the first step of the ladder 2 hopefully romance/love. remember the tight-fistfull pay twice here, so make sure you are not 1 of these
manny MH2U thinks you should revise that chapter in your best selling book (russian bride guide) 2 sending a little $ 2 help a relationship flourish but what does MH2U know he`s only a soft southerner
myheart2ukraine     

Bullshyte. That was good advice when Manny wrote it years ago and it's still good advice today. The next time you and Anotherkiwi have an urge to send money to women you don't know, send it to me and I'll see that they receive it? Until then any newbies reading this advice from you two would do well to ignore it.


It's not the amount of money that is the central issue here. If the money was asked for or requested, chances are the women is bad. Sending money to women you do not know will lead to nothing good. If it wasn't requested chances are you'll insult her. These are good "rules of thumb" and they are such rules for a good reason. If you choose to jump off the grid and take a chance sending money, have at it and power to you but, spouting off this nonsense as good advice is well, nonsense

[myheart2ukraine]

muzh you bore MH2U with your valid points
yes i know ukrainian girls very, very well. some told me the other day in l`viv that tight-fistfull americans are like dumbo the elephant. end of story

faux pas next you will be telling me you have shares in mannys book (well you should have anyways)
newbies disregard these 2 dinosaurs for if your ukrainian woman lives way-out in a small town/village send her a little $ if only for transport/whatever for don`t be dumbo the american tight-fistfull fool which are many, a many around
MH2U   

[remiel6]

I would also caution against sending gifts to people you havent' met yet. Now small trinkets, not worth much might be another story.

[Muzh]

muzh you bore MH2U with your valid points
yes i know ukrainian girls very, very well. some told me the other day in l`viv that tight-fistfull americans are like dumbo the elephant. end of story
faux pas  next you will be telling me you have shares in mannys book (well you should have anyways)
newbies disregard these 2 dinosaurs for if your ukrainian woman lives way-out in a small town/village send her a little $ if only for transport/whatever for don`t be dumbo the american tight-fistfull fool which are many, a many around
MH2U   

Boy, so what is it? Trying to get some clients by calling them Dumbo and asking them to send the new russian girls money? Are you taking a cut out of this? The other list told you to take a hike because of your antagonism. Very bad for business. It's your neck. I don't care either way.

[Faux Pas]

Boy, so what is it? Trying to get some clients by calling them Dumbo and asking them to send the new russian girls money? Are you taking a cut out of this? The other list told you to take a hike because of your antagonism. Very bad for business. It's your neck. I don't care either way.

It probably worked for him, eventually. 

[Boethius]

MH2U, no profanity, please as it is a violation of the TOS.