She is here! My 'trip' report continues

[ConnerVT]

I shouldn't bother playing this game with you.  But for a man who proclaims great perceptual abilities, you sure seem to have a blocked view of me.

My comment wasn't a put down.  It was an observation that I am sure is shared by many whom are reading this thread.  All of the things you write to convince us you are on course with your relationship are things that should of happened at the very beginning, shortly after first meeting.  Not committed to a K-1 visa, with a marriage deadline quickly approaching the eleventh hour.  It's like watching a "one week wonder," only in super slow motion.

Superiority?  No.  Maturity?  Now that seems more the word.  I returned to Russia again and again to see my wife.  Several times in one year I went, to examine and test if my wife and I truly felt that marriage, and all of it's associated issues and difficulties, was the right thing for us and her young child.  To communicate and discuss our needs, our desires, our faults, and our dreams. 

While we were apart, I prepared a home for my new family to live.  I relocated in the best school district in the area for our child to adapt to a new language in a new country.  For my wife, I researched ESL classes and ethnic food markets in the area.  I made changes to our home and my employment to accommodate them better.  In turn, my wife, who's English was well forgotten from lack of use, attended ESL classes in Russia.  She also located an English tutor, to help her learn more quickly.  For she had a strong desire to communicate with me.  The speed that her language improved amazed me.

It is the efforts we put into building our relationship that showed each other's commitment to it.  Even with that, our first 90 days were rough, even though each was convinced of the other's love.

So I don't know if my relationship is superior to yours.  But I guarantee the basis of it is much more mature.

[BC]

Photo,

With communication barriers one can only see (perceive) the 'tip of the iceberg'.. Only when you two reach the point where true communication is possible will more be revealed.

That's where the 'tip' ends and the real relationship begins.. believe me.

btw the only one around here placing bets is you.

[Photo Guy]

[size="3"][color="navy"]BC, I am gambling a bit since life IS actually a gamble, but in as far as placing bets is concerned, I'm just reacting to other people's speculation about our future. It's no big deal. It's entertaining, amusing.

And then [color="darkred"]Conner[/color] somehow transforms my account of a fun night at a jacuzzi into what supposedly SHOULD have ALREADY happened a long time ago in Ukraine, before she came over. Well let's face it. That's a [color="darkred"]goofy[/color] conclusion. Ten years from now, I may give a similar account of a fun night at the bowling alley or a nice romantic dinner in Paris. Or fun in a jacuzzi again. A twisted mind can twist these things into something negative. A fun time with Larysa in a jacuzzi is simply ...[color="blue"]enjoying life[/color].[/color][/size]

[jb]

P/G,

I'm glad you find it entertaining and amusing because for those of us who have been married to a Russian or Ukrainian woman for awhile, it comes off as rationalizing and justifying bad decisions and poor judgement. 

From my experience, IMHO, your's is the most classic misuse of the K-1 visa I've ever seen, in that you are in the middle of a 90 day trial marriage without the benefit of a dating, or a  get-to-know-you period.  You just jumped, head first, right into the deepest water you could find when you should have still been doing the dog-paddle around the shallow end of the pool.

For your sake, and Larissa's, I do hope there will be a romantic dinner in Paris 10 years from now, but I'd not take those Vegas odds about it right now.  Unless a miracle occurs on the order of the Holy Ghost descending on Phoenix, and bestowing the gift of tongues on both of you, you will have no clue who you have married on day 89 of this little fling of yours.  You won't know for another 6-9 months, or until her English improves exponentially whether or not you've married someone you actually like.  Worse still, she won't know either, but she'll be stuck with you until such time as language, job skills, and money are at hand for her to do anything about it.

I sincerely wish you all the luck in the world, 'cause you need every drop of it.

[ConnerVT]

My mind is far from twisted.  And you are the only one who is fixating on the jacuzzi, as I never even commented of it.

My point is you are getting way too excited about spending a day shopping, eating pizza, and sitting in a pool/jacuzzi with your fiancee and an interpreter so you can communicate.  For most of the readers of this forum that have traveled to the FSU, this would be what happens a few weeks after you meet, not a few weeks before you marry.

You presented this as an example of how far along you are in your relationship, as proof that you are choosing a wise course.  My comments were to put it in a perspective that many here understand.  Sadly, I believe you will ultimately make your decisions to spite people you have never met, in an effort to prove you are right, rather than making choices in Larysa and your best interests.  That's your prerogative, but since you've displayed your actions on the Internet, mine is to express the folly of it.

[Rim]

Anyone who offers more than "best wishes" and "congratulation" when asked for advice about love; probably hasn't enough experience to have any advice of value.

[corp]

Photo guy forgive me for being late to the party, it seems I have not checked in here at RWD in a little while.

First let me say, I hope the future turn of events, some how works out to a great success for both of you.

As I am in my search for my "perfect match" also, the one thing I am desperate to avoid is to wind up 50 or 60 days into a K1 and still not sure whether to ring wedding bells or not.
I have passed up several "Class-A" RW for no other reason than I never felt like this was "The one".
I worry very much about doing a K-1 half heartedly hoping things will pick up steam in those 90 days and then what will I do if nothing big happens either way?
 I know what I would do, I would ring the wedding bell rather than crush a ladies heart.
Sometimes I feel like I am being to damn picky... maybe I should just pick a girl and be done with it. When I read this thread it reminded me of the corner I will paint myself in if I do that. Now I don't in anyway relate my situation to yours.
 The only similarity is at the *90 day mark* all K-1 folks have a "do or die" decision to make. I want to start my 90 days at full speed... not hope it will build to that point along the way. One reason I could not be a "one week wonder".

PG as I have read your posts throughout the months here, I kinda admire how you have a pretty tuff skin, some people have taken both deserving and even below the belt shots at you and you still hang in here.
 That is an indication that you will not give up easy on Larysa either.
I won't bother to take any bets on you but I will encourage you to not only listen but to follow the collective advice of those who have been down this path successfully.
I wish you both the best.

[Photo Guy]

[color="navy"][size="3"]Thanks corp.

All I'm doing here is relating my experiences. We have good days and we  have bad days. Nobody from the outside can judge our relationship  accurately because they don't really know what it is like. If I'm told  I am wrong or stupid because I have chosen a woman who needs to learn  English, then all I can do is take that advice and fill my trash  can.  I am using a PC, so that would be the Recycle bin.  If  someone tells me I am acting foolishly, what should I do with that  advice?  It's useless.  If the criticism serves the purpose  of advising newbies to avoid a situation like my own, I do not follow  the logic, because things are going pretty well. She's a lovable gal.  She is not a green card girl. She is not taking my money. She is trying  hard to learn about our culture and studying English diligently.   These facts are conveniently ignored by the critics. If a guy spends  two months in Russia, dating some fantastic woman, and then marries her  here, his method is deemed mature and appropriate, but if the guy(me)  spends two months with her in the West, and then makes the big  decision, it's judged to be a taboo immature course. Do you agree with  that? Don't you see the absurdity?

It isn't easy making my life an open book. I can easily close it, if the topic turns to trash. It's up to you.  -doug[/size][/color][/b]

[andrewfi]

PG ~ There are some important practical differences between getting to know somebody before proposing marriage and getting to know them after. I understand that it may be hard to understand that, but, 'tis so!

I guess that not the least of these issues is that if you get to know her before you you bring her to your country to get married you do not disrupt her life totally. What you have done, very effectively (and all credit to you for doing so!:cool:) is shifted the burden of risk from your shoulders to hers. (well done that man!:dude:) If things don't work out, you pack her off to Ukraine and go back to your lonely life without too much regret. That you can sit in front of your PC and write the comments above kinda displays the shortcomings in your thinking.:huh:

Among others, I hope that you end up finding happiness with this woman; not because you deserve it, but because otherwise you leave behind you a wrecked life. This is not  trial period, this is the time the preparation for your marriage, the time when two people who have already made a committment to each other AND TO MARRIAGE are going out and booking a venue for the wedding breakfast, inviting friends and relations, doing the necessary paperwork for the nuptials. It is not the time for getting an amateur interpreter to share a jacuzzi with you so that you can start to get to know each other. (no matter how much fun that might be)

[corp]

Photo Guy,
While, your case might have a few cautionary flags, ...what you said is true; only you, know what is going on between you two.

I don't have the experience of long term relations with a non speaking person, 2 weeks is my limit but even in that case, I was surprised at how well things went.
Another thought one might take is.... If I were to meet a woman who was a mute, in my own neighborhood... would I have to eliminate her from my consideration because not only can't she speak english..but never will>?

I think "actions speak louder than words" in a relationship. A woman communicates more to me in the way she handles herself, the way she shows consideration... how she tries to work through obsticals rather than give blame or irritation. How does she handle money, is she respectful to her parents. Does she act thankful. Does a sense of humor shine from her, all these traits are things that speak volumes with me.

Even with all that said, common language, is needed to take a relationship to the more profound level (at least in most cases) I think... I am Glad your lady is tackling that language problem now.

We have all seen seemingly Perfect marriages crumble and those we thought were doomed to last.
I only hope you will be tuff enough to report things as they really are despite the certain cry of "I told you so" from so many of us.

Also for a person who uses the name "Photo Guy".. you sure are weak on posting photos lately
Lets see some!

[KenC]

Photodude,

Your last post is the most illogical and deluded piece of crap you have ever written.  And that takes a lot of effort on your part because you are regularly illogical and deluded.  Let's take a look at your latest masterpiece of human deduction:

[user=134]Photo Guy[/user] wrote:

Thanks corp.

All I'm doing here is relating my experiences. We have good days and we have bad days. Nobody from the outside can judge our relationship accurately because they don't really know what it is like. If I'm told I am wrong or stupid because I have chosen a woman who needs to learn English, then all I can do is take that advice and fill my trash can.  I am using a PC, so that would be the Recycle bin.  If someone tells me I am acting foolishly, what should I do with that advice?  It's useless. 

I guess you can continue to do as you have in the past with the good and logical advice that has been offered: Ignore it all and continue on with your foolish ways.  Taking risks with your and Larysa's life does not make you an indivdualist or a rebel only a fool.

If the criticism serves the purpose of advising newbies to avoid a situation like my own, I do not follow the logic,

Oh what a suprise!

because things are going pretty well.

Well? By who's standards?  If you think things are going well for you, you have no concept of what it takes to have a real relationship in the real world.  Not your fantasy world that you have created in your mind's eye, but in the world that the rest of us inhabit.

Conner was right, the cute evening in the jacuzzi you spoke of is something that would transpire after a few weeks of dating.  Which is about where I peg your relationship at.  So with over a years effort, you have been able to progress to what the rest of the world would have taken 2 weeks.  Nice plan, dude!

She's a lovable gal. She is not a green card girl. She is not taking my money.

Why on earth would she take your money at this point?  She can't go any where and if she could get to a store, she couldn't understand enough or communicate enough to buy something any way.  While your at it, you may as well debunk the concept that RW are poor drivers too.  Larysa hasn't got into any accidents yet, so she must be a fine driver.  (Never mind that she has yet to sit behind the steering wheel)

She is trying hard to learn about our culture and studying English diligently.  These facts are conveniently ignored by the critics.

Let's review the "facts" as presented by you.  Larysa learned almost zero English in the 10 months it took you to get her K-1.  You had no plan to get her enrolled into any type of ESL prior to her arrival.  After almost 45 days here, she has been able to attend 2 whole classes!  WOW.  Now that is what I call bustin azz.  It takes more than two classes to qualify for "diligent" in my book.

And just how is she learning about our culture?  By sitting home all day waiting for you?  By ignoring the numerous offers of other fsu women that want to help?  By avoiding any interaction with the AM/RW couples that have offered a helping hand?  By sleeping through church time week after week?  Maybe she is deligently studying our culture by watching Jerry Springer on a daily basis.  Oh, I forgot, she probably thinks they are having intelectual debates because she doesn't understand the lingo.

If a guy spends two months in Russia, dating some fantastic woman, and then marries her here, his method is deemed mature and appropriate, but if the guy(me) spends two months with her in the West, and then makes the big decision, it's judged to be a taboo immature course. Do you agree with that? Don't you see the absurdity?

Now you are starting to scare me.  I only see the absurdity in what you just wrote.  It is "mature and appropriate" to get engaged to a woman that you know, can communicate with and have been able to share some common bonds with (all without the help of a 3rd person)  We will not even get into the love and intimacy that some of us require.

Guess what Einstein?  The guy that does all I suggested above still has the same 90 days left in this country that you have reduced your decision time into.

I have to agree with jb in that your case is one of the worst abuses of a K-1 I have ever seen.  The 90 day window is allowed to give the couple time to make wedding plans.  The 90 days were never intended to be a time to get to know each other or even a time to make a final decision to marry, as you have already sworn to that fact when you applied for her K-1.  But you two brainiacs have turned that into a total sham with your total disregard to anything resembling logic.

KenC

[wasson65]

[user=134]Photo Guy[/user] wrote:

[color="navy"][size="3"]but if the guy(me) spends two months with her in the West, and then makes the big decision, it's judged to be a taboo immature course.[/size][/color][/b]

I've been lurking here for a while.  See, I'm a one-week-wonder also, a silly romantic WOVO.  My Lily knows a smattering of english.  I've applied for the K-1.

So with all that stacked against me, I'm still going to come out and say this:

Using the K-1 visa time to "make the big decision" is WRONG and immature!!!!

First, it's called the "Fiancee Visa", and not a "Girlfriend Visa".  Before the "big decision" she is a girlfiriend.  After the "big decision" she is a fiancee.

What you are doing is unfair to her.  She has uprooted and DESTROYED the life she left behind.  She has TOTALLY committed to you.  And you are still not sure.

I think you would gain the respect of Larysa, yourself,  myself, and possibly a lot of other people on this board if you would commit to this woman, right NOW!  Commit to her, and start treating her like a wife. Take care of your wife.  Love your wife.  Marry her.  At least then you'll have an even bigger incentive to do the right thing, because divorces aren't free.  Right now, you're in the catbird's seat:  You have all the power.  You have all the choices.  She is STUCK! and she did it based on your words and promises.

Here's the bottom line:  You've created this situation.  I think the only manly way out of it is to marry her and soon.  You might still split up, hell, it might even cost you some money or time or heartache or whatever, but you will have followed through on a commitment you made to an honest woman, and you'll be able to look in the mirror in the morning and not despise the face looking back at you.

[andrewfi]

wasson ~ I agree entirely, but he will not do this. I don't think he understood what he was doing months ago and I don't think he understands now. I wonder, givne the state of this poor girl's English whether she fully understands what is going on?

[Turboguy]

Wasson, I understand what you are saying but I think you have the wrong take on the situation. 

I think the problem is not Photoguys willingness to marry Larisa, I think it is his dream.  I think the problem is Larisas willingness to marry Doug. 

It sounds like you two have some similarities.  You are both one week wonders and both your gals don't know much English.

Please don't take the following statements personal  I think you are a good guy and I think your fiancee is a doll and I wish you nothing but happiness.  I think you will do fine.  You are just here, and spoke up and I would like to try to make a point.

Ok, so lets do a little comparing.  Doug and Wasson are both one week wonders.  Both thier women speak little english.  Both started K-1's after one visit.  Both are head over heels in love and want to marry thier gal.   Wasson's gal is also head over heals in love with Wasson and want's to marry him (after one week together)  Larissa wanted to make sure she would like living in America and living with Doug before she makes a final decision.   That makes Doug the scum of the earth and Wasson a good guy?   Frankly I just don't see it.   Doug did not do anything that thousands of others did not do.  He just came her and talked about his feelings and his dreams and got crusified for it.  

If there is a bad person in this scenerio it would be Larisa.   Do I think Larisa is a bad person, no not by a long shot.  I see her as uncertain, confused perhaps, careful maybe, moody yes, maybe a little shy and unsure of herself.  Maybe a little uncomfortable around new people and not real confident.  Do those traits make her a bad person.   I don't think so.

I have always believed that when you love someone you accept them the way they are with their faults and their good points.   Many of you seem to feel a girl must be perfect or you don't want her.  More power to you.

We have had 10 months of Doug bashing.  I respect Doug for hanging in here and not getting too discouraged and I respect Doug for his feelings and commitments to Larisa even though both things had to be difficult for him at times.  I don't think you can force someone to meet people or to take English lessons.

Did Doug do some things wrong?  Only if it turns out wrong.  The jury is still out on that.   Frankly if he did things wrong I think the use of the clue bat sent him in the direction he went.  A little more helpful suggestions and freindly advice would have had a much more positive result. 

I think we all have to learn and some like me need to learn the hard way.  I made some of the same mistakes Doug did.  I won't repeat them.  I may make new mistakes but I won't make the same ones twice. 

Is Doug the worst case of K-1 abuse in history?   What a foolish statement.  He didn't do anything any worse than Wasson or me or thousands of one week wonders out there.  He just talked about his feelings and we have heard the same tired retoric for 10 months.   Doug has my wishes for happiness and if it doesn't work I hope he learns from his experience.

[KenC]

Turbo,

What you say here doesn't hold up under closer inspection.

  Doug has my wishes for happiness and if it doesn't work I hope he learns from his experience.

This is about the only thing I agree with you on.  But after seeing Photos grasp of the learning curve, I sincerely doubt he will learn anything.  Remember, "what will be, will be?"

KenC

[jb]

PG's principal detractor (anono) is no longer posting here and I think if you removed all those really nasty things said by that one individual, the net result of advice given to Doug has pretty much been very gentle and brotherly, and very much on the money. 

I know back in the day, I've said many more harsh things to my sisters about their choice of b/fs. Of course, that all fell on very deaf ears as well.  As in Doug's case, the more I told my sisters what a loser the guy was, the more they dug in their heels and refused to listen.  Human nature: 101. 

Doug is going to do what Doug is going to do.  The notion that others may have had some actual prior experience with FSU women was discarded by Doug long ago.  The good news is that Doug is amassing actual practical experience with a RW as he stumbles through each day.  By the end of the 90 days he may be at that point where most guys are when they pop the question, he will only need to "pop" the question and then run to the nearest JP to seal the deal if that's the way it turns out. 

I don't believe anyone is sitting on the sidelines cheering for a busted romance here, I think most of us are more concerned that another newbie will come along and think this is the way to go.  If Doug and Larissa make a success of it, they will have used up all the good luck for the next 1,000 one week wonders, there is only so much luck out there.   The Vegas analogy is apt, there are more ways to roll crap dice than there are to roll a point, that's why the house always wins.  Doug and Larissa might get lucky, but no one will know for a while.  It's Larissa that I feel sorry for, I don't think she has a clue about what is happening to her here.

[wasson65]

I think the problem is not Photoguys willingness to marry Larisa, I think it is his dream.  I think the problem is Larisas willingness to marry Doug.

I completely disagree.  The way I see it, the *root* problem is that Doug was willing to bring a woman here with whom he had nothing even resembling to a normal fiancee relationship.   The language issues just exacerbate the root problem. 

No matter how you do it - english or no english, older or younger, one week wonder or not, $500 dinners or not, what matters is that by the time you bring her here, both you and her need to be ready to get married.  Right then and there.  The focus is not on the decision anymore.  It's on the preparation for married life.

I think he would have to agree that he and Larisa did NOT have the typical WM/RW fiancee relationship that most men have when they bring her here.

I didn't bash Doug.  If that was my point, I could have dogpiled on a lot sooner.  Doug insisted that bringing her here on a K1 for a "try her on for size" visit was no different than visiting her there for 2 months.  Cmon, Turbo, you know that's not the same thing.

Obviously Doug has some good amount of staying power to get to this point.  I think she has it as well.  I think she has shown her commitment to him by coming here.  She has done what she needed to do.  She has ante'd up.  Now it's Dougs turn.

[Turboguy]

That is total BS Turbo.  If things work out for him it is because he is the luckiest SOB to walk the earth.  And BTW, no one is rooting for his demise.  I am crucifying his methods or the lack there of.  Photoguy has had tons of positive suggestions and friendly advice that he ignores and then immediately justifies his foolish actions.

Positive suggestions and friendly advice I have not seen much of.  Good suggestions, yes, I have seen a lot of that.

Yes, with Luda I made 4 trips to see her.  I tried to go every 6-8 weeks and stay for between one and two weeks.  We had somewhere around 6-8 weeks together when the visa was issued.

I have not heard of anyone doing a K-1 before without getting kissed but I am sure Ken is not the only one.  I have seen guys drool to do a k-1 for a girl they have only seen a photo of.

I think one visit one week wonders are not that uncommon.  I have another good friend who does not come here who was a one trip one week wonder, actually to a gal I hooked him up with.   He is now in his 4th or 5th week of the happiest time of his life.   They are working on weddding plans now and both are wonderfully happy.

jb, you said,

PG's principal detractor (anono) is no longer posting here and I think if you removed all those really nasty things said by that one individual, the net result of advice given to Doug has pretty much been very gentle and brotherly, and very much on the money.  

I can't say I saw much that was gentle or brotherly.  To say yours or many others were,  I think you might want to watch the size of your nose very carefully in the mirror.   ( I am just disagreeing with you and am not meaning that in a bad way)  I seem to remember the clue bat being swing often and vigorusly by a lot of people.  I do think people were well intended with thier intent but I saw a lot of comments by more than one person that were crude,  spitful  and very hurtful. 

Wasson,

What you are doing is unfair to her.  She has uprooted and DESTROYED the life she left behind.  She has TOTALLY committed to you.  And you are still not sure.

Doug may have talked about him deciding but the truth of it is that it is her that is undecided.   If she told Doug today that she wanted them to marry you would not be able to get him off the ceiling with excitment.   It was her decision to come here.  It will be her decision as to marry or not and if she decides to go back and her life there is destroyed.(I don't think it will be) It will be her fault not Dougs.

I am probably one of the few that has been supportive of Doug, or at least I have been the most vocal.  I know he has other supporters who do not say as much about it.  

I can agree that Doug should have done things differently and I would too would not want him to be an example for other one week wonders.  I just think his intentions have been honerable and that he as tried to do what he thought was best for them both in the circumstances that he felt he was in.   I think we all make decisions about how we are going to deal with the situaltions we face in life.  I think many others have done the same as doug, found someone they liked or were attracted to, done a k-1 and hoped it worked.   He is not the first.  He is not the last.  Yes, it is not how a k-1 is inteded to be used but there have been a lot of other people abuse it much more.

I just personally don't like the abuse Doug has had to take, particulary in the thread which is no longer here.   What ever is going to happen all of these comments will not change it.  No one held a gun to Larisa's head to get her to come here.  If she goes back it will be her choosing and the life she has back there will be the one she has chosen and set herself up for.

 

 

 

 

[Son of Clyde]

I seem to remember someone mentioned that  PG's thread might being helpful to newbies. If you consider a thread of people's harsh criticisms as being helpful I am glad the thread was removed. 

 

[Turboguy]

I am with you Clyde,   We have had 10 months of the same junk thrown in his face time and time again.   I don't think any newby would benefit from it. 

Yes, he did not do some things most of us would and we would not suggest that route for others.  It is history.  The things he did were months ago.  He is doing what he can to make a life with her.  If it works we will all be happy for him.   If it doesn't for 24 hours everyone should get the "We told you so's" out of thier system and go about trying to help him in any future attempts he tries to make in a positive way.

[catzenmouse]

Does anyone change they way they do things/think by people berating them or telling them they are an idiot? And I'm not talking about the military so don't bother to bring that up. Plenty here are more than happy to tell Doug how they feel and have done so since the beginning.

This is up to Doug and Larissa now. They will either make it or break it but they will do it together. And even if they decide not to marry within the 90 days she could still go back and they could think about it and do another K1 in the future so it is not a do or die situation.

I wish them both great success no matter what path they take.

Ken

[Photo Guy]

Thanks guys.
In response to KenC.

[size="3"]Photodude,[/size]

[size="3"]Your last post is the most illogical and deluded  piece of crap you have ever written.  And that takes a lot of effort on  your part because you are regularly illogical and deluded.  Let's take  a look at your latest masterpiece of human deduction:[/size]

[user=134]Photo Guy[/user] wrote:

[color="navy"][size="3"]Thanks corp.

All I'm doing here is relating my experiences. We have good days and we  have bad days. Nobody from the outside can judge our relationship  accurately because they don't really know what it is like. If I'm told  I am wrong or stupid because I have chosen a woman who needs to learn  English, then all I can do is take that advice and fill my trash can.   I am using a PC, so that would be the Recycle bin.  If someone tells me  I am acting foolishly, what should I do with that advice?  It's  useless.  [/size][/color][/b]

[color="black"][size="3"]I  guess you can continue to do as you have in the past with the good and  logical advice that has been offered: Ignore it all and continue on  with your foolish ways.  Taking risks with your and Larysa's life does  not make you an indivdualist or a rebel only a fool.


[color="darkred"]Ken, dating and romance  in general requires taking risks. Most people realize this. Risks are  involved because that's the way romance is, and humans are not perfect.  They have flaws. I'm an individualist. So what? Many who endeavor to  find a wife in another part of the world are, and so are many of the  women who end up relocating. How am I a fool? I am true to myself. I do  not need your  strict standards. They aren't good for me-   ..maybe for someone else. Thanks.[/color][/size][/color][/b]

[color="navy"][size="3"]If the criticism serves the purpose of advising newbies to avoid a situation like my own, I do not follow the logic, [/size][/color][/b]

[color="black"][size="3"]Oh what a suprise![/size][/color]

[color="navy"][size="3"]because things are going pretty well. [/size][/color][/b]

[color="black"][size="3"]Well?  By who's standards?

[color="darkred"][size="5"]KEN! *MY* standards and Larysa's.[/size][/color][color="darkred"][size="5"] That's funny. Who's standards did you think I was using?[/size][/color]

 If you think things are going well for you, you  have no concept of what it takes to have a real relationship in the  real world.  Not your fantasy world that you have created in your  mind's eye, but in the world that the rest of us inhabit.

[color="black"][size="3"] [color="darkred"]So you're trying to tell me how bad things are for me?
Are you a control freak or what?[/color]
[/size][/color][/size][/color][/font]

[size="3"]Conner  was right, the cute evening in the jacuzzi you spoke of is something  that would transpire after a few weeks of dating.  Which is about where  I peg your relationship at.  So with over a years effort, you have been  able to progress to what the rest of the world would have taken 2  weeks.  Nice plan, dude!


[color="darkred"]You old married guys do not have fun in Jacuzzi's?! Sorry. My mistake for sharing that enjoyable experience.[/color][/size]

[color="navy"][size="3"]She's a lovable gal. She is not a green card girl. She is not taking my money.

[color="darkred"]my responses will be continued....[/color] [/size][/color]

[color="black"][size="3"][/size][/color]

[size="3"][/size]

[Photo Guy]

Thanks guys.
In response to KenC.

[size="3"]Photodude,[/size]

[size="3"]Your last post is the most illogical and deluded  piece of crap you have ever written.  And that takes a lot of effort on  your part because you are regularly illogical and deluded.  Let's take  a look at your latest masterpiece of human deduction:[/size]

[user=134]Photo Guy[/user] wrote:

[color="navy"][size="3"]Thanks corp.

All I'm doing here is relating my experiences. We have good days and we  have bad days. Nobody from the outside can judge our relationship  accurately because they don't really know what it is like. If I'm told  I am wrong or stupid because I have chosen a woman who needs to learn  English, then all I can do is take that advice and fill my trash can.   I am using a PC, so that would be the Recycle bin.  If someone tells me  I am acting foolishly, what should I do with that advice?  It's  useless.  [/size][/color][/b]

[color="black"][size="3"]I  guess you can continue to do as you have in the past with the good and  logical advice that has been offered: Ignore it all and continue on  with your foolish ways.  Taking risks with your and Larysa's life does  not make you an indivdualist or a rebel only a fool.


[color="darkred"]Ken, dating and romance  in general requires taking risks. Most people realize this. Risks are  involved because that's the way romance is, and humans are not perfect.  They have flaws. I'm an individualist. So what? Many who endeavor to  find a wife in another part of the world are, and so are many of the  women who end up relocating. How am I a fool? I am true to myself. I do  not need your  strict standards. They aren't good for me-   ..maybe for someone else. Thanks.[/color][/size][/color][/b]

[color="navy"][size="3"]If the criticism serves the purpose of advising newbies to avoid a situation like my own, I do not follow the logic, [/size][/color][/b]

[color="black"][size="3"]Oh what a suprise![/size][/color]

[color="navy"][size="3"]because things are going pretty well. [/size][/color][/b]

[color="black"][size="3"]Well?  By who's standards?

[color="darkred"][size="5"]KEN! *MY* standards and Larysa's.[/size][/color][color="darkred"][size="5"] That's funny. Who's standards did you think I was using?[/size][/color]

 If you think things are going well for you, you  have no concept of what it takes to have a real relationship in the  real world.  Not your fantasy world that you have created in your  mind's eye, but in the world that the rest of us inhabit.

[color="black"][size="3"] [color="darkred"]So you're trying to tell me how bad things are for me?
Are you a control freak or what?[/color]
[/size][/color][/size][/color][/font]

[size="3"]Conner  was right, the cute evening in the jacuzzi you spoke of is something  that would transpire after a few weeks of dating.  Which is about where  I peg your relationship at.  So with over a years effort, you have been  able to progress to what the rest of the world would have taken 2  weeks.  Nice plan, dude!


[color="darkred"]You old married guys do not have fun in Jacuzzi's?! Sorry. My mistake for sharing that enjoyable experience.[/color][/size]

[color="navy"][size="3"]She's a lovable gal. She is not a green card girl. She is not taking my money.

[color="darkred"]my responses will be continued....[/color] [/size][/color]

[color="black"][size="3"][/size][/color]

[size="3"][/size]

[corp]

I have avoided bustin on PG at this point about his K-1 because the horse is already out of the barn.
The next main question he will be confronted with will be... whether to go through with the wedding.
 I hope this little recent poke in the eye does not cause PG to go silent at a time when he will most need the input of others here.

Oh I know what some will rightly say.... "PG never listens to advice anyway"
maybe thats true but I doubt he ignores the sincere insights that can be offered, even if he does not take all the medicine like a good boy.

I am more concerned about future mistakes that might be avoided rather than those in the Rear view.

[rose]

Maybe I don't understand something, but I believe every one has the right to choose his/her own way to the happiness. PG choose his way.  Yes, it might be a mistake. But who didn't do those?  If  PG did that mistake, he and Larisa will pay for it, because they both did it. If they are smart, they'll learn from it. That's how life is.
But maybe it is not a mistake. How we, the observers of this situation, can know?
If PG didn't listen advises of the more experiensed guys, it doesn't mean that it will not work out for him. It seems to me that they both work hard and have enough dedication to succeed. PG, don't give up, you and Larisa can do it!!!!