Privet from a lonely Russian girl living in the US.

[Vasilisa]

Hello!:)
I am new here, on this website but not in the International dating field. I came to this country to create a  healthy family and to live a happy life with the person I loved and was ready to devote my life to but unfortunately the things went wrong very soon and I realized that I was just a toy for a spoilt "mommy's boy".
I am an optimist and I still have a hope for the bright future and I am looking forward to meeting MY Man and I hope that this website and your advices will help me with that.
Vasilisa.

[I/O]

A hen loose in the fox house methinks. 

[Boethius]

Or vice versa, I/O.    At least, in my experience.
 
Hello Vasilisa.  Sorry things didn't work out.

[Vasilisa]

A hen loose in the fox house methinks. 

Why?

[Vasilisa]

Or vice versa, I/O.    At least, in my experience.
 
Hello Vasilisa.  Sorry things didn't work out.

Thank you, Boethius!
It was very hard for my family and me because of our religious beliefs, but we are recovering, step by step.

[I/O]

Why?

You're a clever girl in a room full of (mainly) boys, you figure it out as I'm sure you can. BTW, welcome, as ladies always are.

[Vasilisa]

You're a clever girl in a room full of (mainly) boys, you figure it out as I'm sure you can. BTW, welcome, as ladies always are.

Thank you for the compliment and  notice, I/O, I am not that sure about being clever, though, because I was ignoring the red flags and believed in the good qualities of the person and that's the way I am now again. Never learn.
We'll see.//life will show.

[Boethius]

What state do you live in?  Is there a Russian speaking community nearby?

[Vasilisa]

What state do you live in?  Is there a Russian speaking community nearby?

I am in TX. I haven't met any Russians here. (except for the Russian store)

[Jack]

  j uijol uspmm

[Voyager36]

Welcome
 

I am in TX. I haven't met any Russians here. (except for the Russian store)

If there is a Russian store then there should be Russians there.
 

, I am not that sure about being clever, though, because I was ignoring the red flags

What Red Flags?
 
 
 

[I/O]

I am in TX.

Nothing wrong with TX, just heed my warning about hens in foxhouses.

[Maxx2]

OK how old are you?
Got a photo to post?
Did you get married to the "mommies" boy?
If so how long was your marriage and are you divorced yet?
Did you get your green card?
Conditional or legal permanent resident?
If so how did you accomplish that?


Welcome to RWD

[SANDRO43]

  j uijol uspmm

A secret code for Texans ?

[Muzh]

   Vasilisa.
 
Do you go to a church? There may be some single guys there.
 
Good luck.

[Gator]

Welcome!   
 
I responded in your other thread.
 
Be patient.  You have to look in many places and ignore Mr. Wrong.  Even after finding Mr. Right, it takes time to develop true love.  So meanwhile plan and develop your life as if you may never find Mr. Right.  There are many AW content with just being an independent woman with lots of women friends. 

[Vasilisa]

OK how old are you?
Got a photo to post?
Did you get married to the "mommies" boy?
If so how long was your marriage and are you divorced yet?
Did you get your green card?
Conditional or legal permanent resident?
If so how did you accomplish that?


Welcome to RWD

Errrr.... you forgot to ask my SSN and the credit card number.
thank you for welcoming me:)

Seriously, I think that if there are some guys that are interested in me we will write to each other in private and figure it out.
My first date with an American guy here was about the same way, that was why I started a thread in another branch, that was the problem that instead of having a nice conversation people concentrate on my "status" and details. I know that's important but I assume you don't meet many  girls that ask you about your income, SSN, debts, etc on the first date, so why would I have to be put in the condition when I have to feel like I am in the interview in the American embassy instead of a date that is supposed to be romantic.

I am legally in the country, if you are interested in me that's enough for the first date, if you don't have a spark then it's not your cup of tea and the details are not that important anymore..

[Vasilisa]

Welcome
 
If there is a Russian store then there should be Russians there.
 
What Red Flags?

I assume there are some Russians here, I correspond with several Russian girls , I haven't met them though but right now I am looking for a husband and I haven't met so many Russian guys on the local forums and websites either.

Red flags... well, for example, one of the first one: one day when I was still in Russia and we were having a conversation that was going in a very nice way he suddenly said something like: "you are so nice and sweet and tender, I just can't imagine what my family will think of you, it has a crude sense of humour". That was very surprising to me, like, what does the family have to do with that, if he likes it  and me it's fine, but it turned out that his opinion and attitude towards me depended on what his mom says and what his family thinks.

[Gator]

That was very surprising to me, like, what does the family have to do with that, if he likes it  and me it's fine, but it turned out that his opinion and attitude towards me depended on what his mom says and what his family thinks.

You also mentioned that your ex-husband was a "mommy's boy."  I dismissed that at first, but I ask if he were the same (i. e., concerned about his family's opinion) or did he just do whatever his mommy told him?
 
Other men may not think family is important, yet IMO one of the endearing qualities of many RW is the high value they place on their FSU family.   If this is your case, it seems like you have a "double standard"  because I feel that a family oriented RW would want good relations with her man's family.
 
I was married to a RW.  I thought she had family values based on spending most of her time with her children and keeping a relationship with her mama whom I found less than admirable.   Upon moving to the US she had little involvement with my two sons ("they are adults" - yes, but they are my sons, and one still lived at home and the other not far away).  Then she became less involved with her own children who were pre-teenagers, allowing my two sons and I to fill the void
 
Do not fret if you are not so family oriented.  Such will be acceptable to many men who perhaps see their parents 1-2 times per year. 

[Faux Pas]

Errrr.... you forgot to ask my SSN and the credit card number.
thank you for welcoming me:)

Seriously, I think that if there are some guys that are interested in me we will write to each other in private and figure it out.
My first date with an American guy here was about the same way, that was why I started a thread in another branch, that was the problem that instead of having a nice conversation people concentrate on my "status" and details. I know that's important but I assume you don't meet many  girls that ask you about your income, SSN, debts, etc on the first date, so why would I have to be put in the condition when I have to feel like I am in the interview in the American embassy instead of a date that is supposed to be romantic.

I am legally in the country, if you are interested in me that's enough for the first date, if you don't have a spark then it's not your cup of tea and the details are not that important anymore..

Welcome to RWD Vasilisa!


Of course Maxx can speak for himself but, I don't know that he was interested in a date (maybe he was  ) as he was interested to know a few pertinent facts about you so that, we can do what we do. Normally, that is offer you some advice that you might find helpful. Of course the situation is turned 180 degrees from what we usually read here. Generally, it is men looking to go to the FSU and they are asking questions on "how, what, why, where" kind of things.


You on the other hand, a Russian woman already in the US, the dynamics changed significantly.


To help someone offer up possible advice or solutions to your questions, for it to be good advice would require some answers fro you to a few pertinent questions.


Prior to my initial search of women from the FSU, I had only met 3 Russian men and one Ukrainian women in my entire life. That was up to about age 42. Why I don't really know other than I just wasn't where the FSU people were. However, I can say this is all earnest, had I met a FSUW already in America I would expect I would have been all over her like a duck on a Junebug. 


It seems to me most of your concerns about a Russian woman finding a husband in Texas might be valid. My suggestion would be to not search for a husband but, search for friends and relationships that could lead to marriage. Mentioning to most American males you are searching for a husband will likely scare most of them away.


Along that same vein, and I am very familiar with Texas and Texans, you are the hunted. Put yourself out there, get sociable. Church, civic organizations, dance clubs, maybe even a night club or two that suits you.


Get luck to you and I hope you stick around, share some stories and ask some questions. You have a very unique perspective to RWD.

[Boethius]

From her post, I gathered Vasilisa's husband needed his mother's approval, which interfered in their marital relations.   That's a different dynamic than being close to one's family. 

[Vasilisa]

You also mentioned that your ex-husband was a "mommy's boy."  I dismissed that at first, but I ask if he were the same (i. e., concerned about his family's opinion) or did he just do whatever his mommy told him?
 
Other men may not think family is important, yet IMO one of the endearing qualities of many RW is the high value they place on their FSU family.   If this is your case, it seems like you have a "double standard"  because I feel that a family oriented RW would want good relations with her man's family.
 

I agree that the family is important, and I was trying to be nice, brought a lot of presents from my family, invited them to visit with us, cooked exotic dishes to please them, but as I said, there were a lot of "interesting details", like, for example, they invited everyone , except for me to the Christmas party in another city and my husband simply went there like it was fine and I was sitting at home alone by myself, the explanation was : "there is no room enough for all people in the car, besides you don't know anyone there" and they did). (I didn't have a driver's license at that time and my husband was driving the car of his parents), so they went and I stayed at home and it was my first Christmas in the country.

It may sound crazy and funny like a comedy episode to you but that's exactly the way it was. That was probably the reason why he had never been married before or had a serious long-lasting relationship.
I was ashamed of writing to my family about the real reason, so I simply wrote something like I didn't feel well and refused to go, and my family even blamed me  in some way for that fact that I was about to miss such an important event.

[Gator]

It may sound crazy and funny like a comedy episode to you but that's exactly the way it was.
 

Crazy, yes.  Funny, no.
 
I am an optimist and I keep thinking that the men who pursue RW are normal.  Some RW have told me that they have encountered AM who seemed "screwed up in the head"   From your description I was thinking your ex- was a "man child."   This is far worse.  It is borderline insanity.  I am surprised that after selling his house he did not move back in with his mama. 
 
 

That was probably the reason why he had never been married before or had a serious long-lasting relationship.

You seemingly violated one of the RW guidelines about men:  If a man has not married by 40, something is wrong with him.  Do not try to determine what is wrong, just run away.
 
Vasilia, you deserve far better.  I hope you find it.     
 
 

[I/O]

they went and I stayed at home and it was my first Christmas in the country.

Why are you complaining? You had all that quiet time to sit and consider how fortunate you were to have been "imported" to the land of the free and the home of the brave. 

[GQBlues]

Why are you complaining? You had all that quiet time to sit and consider how fortunate you were to have been "imported" to the land of the free and the home of the brave.   

LOL, I agree. Plus think of the money she saved for not having to buy gifts and then be obligated to eat their meat and potato based fatty grub..