Confused?

[SANDRO43]

Even the National Library of Medicine has now decided to start using the moniker "European" in place of the far more general and largely inaccurate "Caucasian" when it comes to classifying race (which is more of a political construct if anything- thats the geneticist in me, haha)

The term race has long been dropped by anthropologists/ethnologists in favour of ethnicity, ethnic group and similar expressions.

Besides bringing up recollections of unpleasant past events, 'race' is an obsolete XVIIIth century classification with no actual scientific basis:

While biological scientists sometimes use the concept of race to make practical distinctions among fuzzy sets of traits, others in the scientific community suggest that the idea of race is often used by the general public in a naive or simplistic way. Among humans, race has no taxonomic significance; all people belong to the same hominid subspecies, Homo sapiens sapiens. Regardless of the extent to which race exists, the word "race" is problematic and may carry negative connotations. Social conceptions and groupings of races vary over time, involving folk taxonomies that define essential types of individuals based on perceived sets of traits. Scientists consider biological essentialism obsolete, and generally discourage racial explanations for collective differentiation in both physical and behavioral traits.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Race_(classification_of_humans)
 
The DNA of world populations seems to show gradual variations over space and time with no sharp boundaries on which the concept of 'race' could be based, as is consistent with the ROA paleoanthropological model of human evolution (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recent_African_origin_of_modern_humans) - although some argue in favour of an alternative, multiregional model.

[GoodOlBoy]

I have a lot of Russian friends here in the US, both male and female, but I am not attracted to them in an intimate way- which is why I am looking elsewhere.

Just curious SIW.
Are you "bi" or straight.
I noticed that you posted pictures of "pretty boys" along with pretty girls.
 
GOB

[BC]

Just curious SIW.
Are you "bi" or straight.
I noticed that you posted pictures of "pretty boys" along with pretty girls.
 
GOB

Oh comeon GOB...  that's below the belt..  your 'tongue in cheeks' lately?

[GoodOlBoy]

Oh comeon GOB...  that's below the belt..  your 'tongue in cheeks' lately?

Not really BC.
The OP's "story" doesn't pass the olfactory test for GOB.
 
GOB

[SurgeonInWater]

Not really BC.
The OP's "story" doesn't pass the olfactory test for GOB.
 
GOB

Don't really know how this matters and what smell test you're referring to, but Im as straight as a flagpole. I was only trying to prove the point that India is diverse, not anything else. Making a mountain out of an anthill?

[SurgeonInWater]

Generally, I'd say people tend to underestimate the difficulties of cross cultural international relationships; I was going to list these but until you've actually lived them they wouldn't really sink in anyway. But perhaps you have an advantage over the average Yankee, being a recent product of several cultures to start with. Who knows?

But, like some others here, I really do not understand why you are looking to the FSU; you are relatively young, good looking, intelligent and, apparently, successful. I'm sure you could find attractive intelligent women in just about any country you choose. Even in the US, surely there are many women that would fit idea Mrs Surgeon? Or in Canada or Western Europe? Why complicate the whole process and add unnecessary potential problems by looking to the FSU?

I'm far from the "average Yankee"- I accumulated more frequent flier miles by age 18 than most Americans do in a lifetime- traveling all over the world. As far as cross cultural relationships- they come with challenges, sure. But so does any relationship- it's all about how you deal with them.

[Muzh]

This is what I can't say: no man will please all women.

Well, at least I went down fighting. 

[Muzh]

- I had a delightful ride from JFK to Moscow in early August while sitting next to a young and very intelligent Russian medical student. She was completing her final year in an exchange program and so of course I asked her to compare her medical education in each country. For depth and quality she gave the USA high marks with no hesitation. I followed that up by asking where she wanted to practice? There was a moments pause before she admitted that while she loves her home, the opportunities for advancement in her specialty, and for her personal fulfillment, would be in America.

Mendy, I've seen some profiles where some (extremely beautiful) women have shown preference for men in the medical field because they are also in the medical field.

[Muzh]

Just curious SIW.
Are you "bi" or straight.
I noticed that you posted pictures of "pretty boys" along with pretty girls.
 
GOB

Are you showing some interest?

[Ade]

I'm far from the "average Yankee"- I accumulated more frequent flier miles by age 18 than most Americans do in a lifetime- traveling all over the world. As far as cross cultural relationships- they come with challenges, sure. But so does any relationship- it's all about how you deal with them.

As you've had a lot of exposure to foreign cultures, you will realize that beautiful intelligent women exist everywhere. So again, why add unnecessary complications? If it's because you've been fed the MOB hype of a culture full of women saints willing to be submissive "traditional" FSU wives that are happy to stay at home and wash your house then you should be aware that it really is hype. There is also the issue that quite a few FSU women seem to have very flexible morals by Western standards.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you shouldn't, I'm just saying you should get your reasons straight. Personally, if I were your age with your prospects and I truly couldn't find a match on my continent, I'd be heading for Sweden, the Netherlands or Germany/Austria. You'd be much more likely to find someone that spoke fluent English, broadly speaking the culture is the same as yours and it's easier and quicker for you to get to and (very importantly) for them to get to you. Of course, there's no economic disparity to leverage but you shouldn't need that anyway. The FSU is not the only country in the world where women fall in love with foreigners and choose to relocate for love.

[BC]

I'm far from the "average Yankee"- I accumulated more frequent flier miles by age 18 than most Americans do in a lifetime- traveling all over the world. As far as cross cultural relationships- they come with challenges, sure. But so does any relationship- it's all about how you deal with them.

Doc,

I think what folks are trying to say is that this quest is fraught with a host of challenges and is in no way an 'easier, softer way' of getting from point A to point B.  I really wished frequent flyer miles were available before I turned 18.. lived in 7 different countries by then and flew over the atlantic enough times that keeping count was no longer interesting.  Cross cultural marriages are the norm for me and not the exception, but still had some big challenges to overcome.

Lets just take a simple factor... your practice.. you are a year into a business.. yes you're starting to make money, maybe paying off school debts and setup costs for your practice..  Things are looking good and you have a few bucks left over to throw into this venture.

Lets say you are very lucky, like me and just happen to meet a FSU woman while traveling that you would like to pursue.  After meeting, and before we married, I flew to meet her 4 times and stayed up to 4 weeks at a time.  For me it's just 4 or 5 hours in a couple hops.  After her arrival here I spent a good amount of time getting the household settled and doing a bit of traveling for orientation and honeymoon type activities.  All in all, I estimate my business 'down time' somewhere around 3-4 months within that first year - and I had already found my wife to be.. the cat was already in the bag.  Looking back at lost income alone, it was quite expensive.  Luckily I was able to work a bit here and there throughout in order to keep my clients - my business is internet based with little personal appearances necessary.  I even managed to include the few necessary business meetings going to/from FSU.

Now translate that scenario to your circumstances and new practice..  Do you use robots in your practice? Can you afford the loss in terms of time and patients?  Can you just write off long periods of time that your waiting room will remain empty with a sign on the door 'Gone wife chasing.. back in a few weeks'?

Maybe this incongruence is what twists the hair in GOB's nose a bit..

Bottom line, this is not a very practical venture for many.

[GQBlues]

...Bottom line, this is not a very practical venture for many.

Brings to mind a direct statement jb once made to me in the old RWG....paraphrased: "..The MOB exist to cater to a specific group of men. You do not fit into that mold and you certainly do not belong in it. Take your plane ticket, tear it in half and chalk this one up as a fun experience. Then forget about it. To be clear - this is not for you..."
 
LOL.

[Daveman]

Surgeon, with your looks, you will have no trouble with women in any country of the world.

In fact, I might even like to date you.      Could you buy me some new clothes?

Seriously though . . . have a go at the FSUW.  I think you will have zero problems.

 




Heh, that cracked me up.  I get what ManLooking is talking about... BUT, no matter how you slice and dice it -- meeting and dating, developing and growing a relationship, learning to communicate together (even if you happen to speak the same language, that doesn't mean you're "speaking the same language"), etc., etc., ad virtually infinitum -- is a pain in the hind parts sans any issue of 'race'.


I don't think race will be too big of a deal for you really, but rather the problem(s) you'll have are pretty much the same problems we all face in this.  Most relationships do not lead to marriage (here, there, or anywhere)... the long distance, different cultural norms, etc., just add layers of complication.


I am married to a wonderful woman.  No doubt about it... but it was neither a short road nor an easy one.  I just refused to give up - borrowing some of that Russian stubborn goatheadedness in the process --- HOWEVER.. that being said..  I'm not so sure I would do this again.  You didn't care much for how GQ worded his posts, but he has a valid point. 


Of course every woman is different and personalities vary, but once you bring a woman from "over there" to "over here", she's going to become similar to those already "over here" in some/many aspects.  There are as many screwed up women "over there" and "over here" as there are screwed up men searching..     The key, IMO, is taking the time to let whatever "screwedupness" there is manifest itself -- and see if/how well her screwedupness fits together with your screwedupness.   


Anyway, welcome to RWD and good luck!


Dave

[BC]

Brings to mind a direct statement jb once made to me in the old RWG....paraphrased: "..The MOB exist to cater to a specific group of men. You do not fit into that mold and you certainly do not belong in it. Take your plane ticket, tear it in half and chalk this one up as a fun experience. Then forget about it. To be clear - this is not for you..."
 
LOL.

GQ,

jb was very wise.. he could say the same to 100% of men 'wishing' for a FSU woman and be right 99.9% of the time..

The odds were very much on his side.

[SurgeonInWater]

Doc,

I think what folks are trying to say is that this quest is fraught with a host of challenges and is in no way an 'easier, softer way' of getting from point A to point B.  I really wished frequent flyer miles were available before I turned 18.. lived in 7 different countries by then and flew over the atlantic enough times that keeping count was no longer interesting.  Cross cultural marriages are the norm for me and not the exception, but still had some big challenges to overcome.

Lets just take a simple factor... your practice.. you are a year into a business.. yes you're starting to make money, maybe paying off school debts and setup costs for your practice..  Things are looking good and you have a few bucks left over to throw into this venture.

Lets say you are very lucky, like me and just happen to meet a FSU woman while traveling that you would like to pursue.  After meeting, and before we married, I flew to meet her 4 times and stayed up to 4 weeks at a time.  For me it's just 4 or 5 hours in a couple hops.  After her arrival here I spent a good amount of time getting the household settled and doing a bit of traveling for orientation and honeymoon type activities.  All in all, I estimate my business 'down time' somewhere around 3-4 months within that first year - and I had already found my wife to be.. the cat was already in the bag.  Looking back at lost income alone, it was quite expensive.  Luckily I was able to work a bit here and there throughout in order to keep my clients - my business is internet based with little personal appearances necessary.  I even managed to include the few necessary business meetings going to/from FSU.

Now translate that scenario to your circumstances and new practice..  Do you use robots in your practice? Can you afford the loss in terms of time and patients?  Can you just write off long periods of time that your waiting room will remain empty with a sign on the door 'Gone wife chasing.. back in a few weeks'?

Maybe this incongruence is what twists the hair in GOB's nose a bit..

Bottom line, this is not a very practical venture for many.

All good points.

As far as finances, I'd rather not get into details, but lets just say I can afford to take a few months off and still be comfortably financially secure. I dont have any debts to speak of (the scholarships took care of that). But I understand what you are getting at- and well, I am not looking to rush into things. I just want to get an idea at first, of whether I even stand a chance, and as time goes on, I will start delving into possibilities. 

After speaking with my Russian friends about the issue, they laughed it off. They mentioned that we all want something "different" from what we are used to. Ironically, they do not prefer FSU women. One of them, who happens to be a cardiologist, (and is married) told me how he met his belle- he had a "thing" for latin women- and he headed to Venezuela and set up a free clinic- sure enough, after a year or so courting a woman, he found quite a stunner for himself- in every sense of the word. So that is a possible option I have- maybe head down to Russia and do some networking and see what its like- of course that would be far down the line.

I also got an email from another friend that links to a youtube video for an apparently popular Russian TV show, where they profile an Indian man married to a RW- I found it quite interesting- check it out:



IMO, it shows that anything is possible, given the right circumstances.

[SurgeonInWater]

Submissiveness is a BIG turn off, for me at least. That is why I am searching for a highly educated individual- who can, if she so desires, leave if the relationship does not work out, and also, would not feel inferior to me in any way- and hold relatively modern ideals. I can hire maids and chefs to do the housework- I need a companion, not a Butler or a maid.

[Chicagoguy]

For sure this "adventure" takes time and money. I was in Russia about 8 times [ I was happily married] so I had an understanding of the culture before I even wrote any women. And I was over there about 5 times when I did meet some. But I was lucky to combine my visits with some business so that was a big help.
And I was lucky. I think there are many bodies left on the wayside along here. My wife's 27 yo daughter now wants to meet Western men for the same reasons as her mother - they are not happy with the Russian men. But I am not encouraging her. It is too big a crapshoot and it'possible to lose years of your life with not too much to show.

[mendeleyev]

There is a new couple in the church we attend (Russian Orthodox) and the husband is an Indian doctor. They seem to be doing well and are making friends with other couples their age. I think you'll do just fine.

[BC]

I am not looking to rush into things.

That, in itself is the wisest approach possible.

[Misha]

Submissiveness is a BIG turn off, for me at least. That is why I am searching for a highly educated individual- who can, if she so desires, leave if the relationship does not work out, and also, would not feel inferior to me in any way- and hold relatively modern ideals. I can hire maids and chefs to do the housework- I need a companion, not a Butler or a maid.

It is wonderful that you do not want a submissive maid as a wife. Hats off to you    However, keep in mind that if you are successful she will be leaving behind all her family, friends, job and all her contacts in Russia or the FSU to start from scratch in the USA. Consequently, even if she is your equal, she will still be extremely dependent on you when she arrives no matter how independent she may be.

[ECOCKS]

I'm with GOB on this one.

[Boethius]

He only posted one photo of a man, and I assumed it was an example of skin colour, not the attractiveness of the male star posted.

[CanadaMan]

Yes, I look like this man exactly- a doppelgänger to be exact. Are you based in Russia?

Everyone except Boethius thought the picture you posted is you.
Can you please state clearly, yes or no, if the picture is of you or someone else?
Your wording was confusing. You mention 'double' which usually means it is not a photo of yourself.

TIA

[ECOCKS]

Hardly. He clearly stated he looked like the person in the picture.

Along with his story the use of the picture is part of why I doubt the reality of this thread.

[Ade]

Everyone except Boethius thought the picture you posted is you.

Actually no, I thought it was pretty obvious he was talking of looking like that dude - who is a famous Indian actor AFAIK. After reading the OP again, there is some ambiguity there so I can see why people may be confused.