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Author Topic: Tradervic's Travesty  (Read 23709 times)

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Offline tradervic

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Tradervic's Travesty
« on: September 07, 2011, 01:38:49 PM »
I traveled to Kiev in 2002 and met several Ukrainian women, all gorgeous, all in their early twenties.  One girl I ended up liking quite a bit and we traveled to the Dominican Republic twice to meet (at the time that and Turkey were the only countries they were allowed to travel to without a visa).  Katrina and I ended up getting married in 2003 and its been a living hell ever since.  During the fiance visa period while she was here in the US we fought constantly, she went through all my things, tearing up photos of old girlfriends and she revealed she had herpes as well.  Then at the end of the fiance visa period I asked her to leave and she refused so we ended up getting married anyway, hoping it "would work out."  Its been eight years now, I became a virtual parent to her as she has been unable to hold a job as she fights with everyone.  Now I finally got her into a good University and she is studying to be a mortician but it will be many years before she will be able to sustain herself, in the meantime we have not had sex in over five years and she has cheated on me several times.  I'm broke, bankrupt and have wasted 8 years of my life, and this still will not be over for another four years at least.  Do your self a favor, forget it, all these Ukrainian and Russian brides just want a green card, its a fact, my wife and her friends laugh at their stupid American husbands, each bragging how much they can get out of him.  I would never have gone to Ukraine if I thought this would happen, I thought marrying a younger girl would make me feel younger, its the exact opposite, I feel like I'm 80 years old and she treats me that way too.  Don't do it, don't be stupid, you're just wasting time, money and you'll end up getting hurt.  I had to go into therapy because of this, my doctor told me he had five patients that all tried marrying Russian or Ukrainian women and none of the relationships worked out.  My life is like  a living hell now, and I used to be so carefree and happy before I met Katrina.  I would cut off my leg to be rid of her...but there is no end in sight.  Be warned, be very, very careful of who you marry.  These women will suck the life out of you, I'm not kidding.

Offline Gylden

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Re: Tradervic's Travesty
« Reply #1 on: September 07, 2011, 03:17:42 PM »
Tradervic,
Sorry to hear about your train wreck, but to be honest ait sounds like your as much to blame for the results. Why in earth did you go through with the marriage after asking her to leave? Why have you let this drag on for so many years afterwards?
There are plenty of successes too.
 

Offline Hammer2722

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Re: Tradervic's Travesty
« Reply #2 on: September 08, 2011, 07:01:42 AM »
I second what Gylden says. It boggles the mind that you would even agree to marry her after she has shown her true colors. It seems to me that she is not the only person with the problem. You are still married to her after 8 years? Seems to me that you are hoping that someday she will miraculously revert to the angel you first met? Do yourself a favor and get the hell out of the marriage before it kills you.  :cluebat:
every ship can be a minesweeper at least once...

Offline GoodOlBoy

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Re: Tradervic's Travesty
« Reply #3 on: September 08, 2011, 07:08:29 AM »
I traveled to Kiev in 2002 and met several Ukrainian women, all gorgeous, all in their early twenties.  One girl I ended up liking quite a bit and we traveled to the Dominican Republic twice to meet (at the time that and Turkey were the only countries they were allowed to travel to without a visa).  Katrina and I ended up getting married in 2003 and its been a living hell ever since.  During the fiance visa period while she was here in the US we fought constantly, she went through all my things, tearing up photos of old girlfriends and she revealed she had herpes as well.  Then at the end of the fiance visa period I asked her to leave and she refused so we ended up getting married anyway, hoping it "would work out."  Its been eight years now, I became a virtual parent to her as she has been unable to hold a job as she fights with everyone.  Now I finally got her into a good University and she is studying to be a mortician but it will be many years before she will be able to sustain herself, in the meantime we have not had sex in over five years and she has cheated on me several times.  I'm broke, bankrupt and have wasted 8 years of my life, and this still will not be over for another four years at least.  Do your self a favor, forget it, all these Ukrainian and Russian brides just want a green card, its a fact, my wife and her friends laugh at their stupid American husbands, each bragging how much they can get out of him.  I would never have gone to Ukraine if I thought this would happen, I thought marrying a younger girl would make me feel younger, its the exact opposite, I feel like I'm 80 years old and she treats me that way too.  Don't do it, don't be stupid, you're just wasting time, money and you'll end up getting hurt.  I had to go into therapy because of this, my doctor told me he had five patients that all tried marrying Russian or Ukrainian women and none of the relationships worked out.  My life is like  a living hell now, and I used to be so carefree and happy before I met Katrina.  I would cut off my leg to be rid of her...but there is no end in sight.  Be warned, be very, very careful of who you marry.  These women will suck the life out of you, I'm not kidding.

 :ROFL:
 
GOB
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Offline Wayne

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Re: Tradervic's Travesty
« Reply #4 on: September 08, 2011, 09:42:13 AM »
You should move the horror story to a seperate thread, not put it here.
 
It sounds like you made a lot of mistakes. Now you are still putting her through college? You need to cut your losses; get a good divorce attorney. She must have a 10 year green card, so you cannot ship her back to Ukraine.

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Re: Tradervic's Travesty
« Reply #5 on: September 13, 2011, 10:17:55 AM »

 :ROFL:
 
GOB

Exactly WHAT is it that you find comical?

- Dan

Offline tradervic

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Re: Tradervic's Travesty
« Reply #6 on: September 13, 2011, 10:24:03 AM »
She's already a citizen, and the reason I keep helping her is because I've seen how she lived in Ukraine...absolutely miserable, her family subsisting on the equivalent of about fifty USD per month.  The reason I remained married to her for so long was because I kept thinking things would turn around, and I must admit there were a few good days.  She gave up a good scholarship to come to the US and I felt like it was my responsibility to make sure she finished her education.  Yes, a lot of it is my fault, but I'm telling you guys these girls have a hidden agenda, no matter how sincere you think they are, they really do just want to make a better life for themselves over here, with or with out a guy.  The Ukrainian mind does not work the same way as an American's.  Over there they are raised to be cold and calculating, here in the US we grew up with women's rights, equal opportunity, et cetera.  Ukrainian women simply do not think the same way we do.  The vast majority think American men are spineless wimps or losers for not being able to connect with an American woman.  You'll see, get into a relationship with one of these women from Eastern Europe and then just watch as the years unfold...you'll be just as miserable as I am, trust me.

Offline I/O

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Re: Tradervic's Travesty
« Reply #7 on: September 13, 2011, 10:38:28 AM »
The Ukrainian mind does not work the same way as an American's.
That much I can agree with for the most part, as for the rest of the story, maybe true, maybe not. :-\

Offline Hammer2722

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Re: Tradervic's Travesty
« Reply #8 on: September 13, 2011, 10:41:54 AM »
That is quite the blanket statement to make about all Ukrainian women. There are many men and women here who are happily married many years. The fact that you chose to bring someone over without really getting to know her AND the fact that you knew her motives BEFORE you married her says alot about YOU!!!
every ship can be a minesweeper at least once...

Offline Ade

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Re: Tradervic's Travesty
« Reply #9 on: September 13, 2011, 10:46:23 AM »
She's already a citizen, and the reason I keep helping her is because I've seen how she lived in Ukraine...absolutely miserable, her family subsisting on the equivalent of about fifty USD per month.  The reason I remained married to her for so long was because I kept thinking things would turn around, and I must admit there were a few good days.  She gave up a good scholarship to come to the US and I felt like it was my responsibility to make sure she finished her education.  Yes, a lot of it is my fault, but I'm telling you guys these girls have a hidden agenda, no matter how sincere you think they are, they really do just want to make a better life for themselves over here, with or with out a guy.  The Ukrainian mind does not work the same way as an American's.  Over there they are raised to be cold and calculating, here in the US we grew up with women's rights, equal opportunity, et cetera.  Ukrainian women simply do not think the same way we do.  The vast majority think American men are spineless wimps or losers for not being able to connect with an American woman.  You'll see, get into a relationship with one of these women from Eastern Europe and then just watch as the years unfold...you'll be just as miserable as I am, trust me.

 :rolleyes2:

Actually, it's all your fault. This "relationship" should never have happened and you were too much of a coward or an idiot to end it. Grow a spine (she's certainly right about that in you). Divorce her. Move on with your life.

Out of curiosity, what's your age?

And, FWIW, some of us are in extremely happy relationships with our Russian/Ukrainian wives

Offline Jumper

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Re: Tradervic's Travesty
« Reply #10 on: September 13, 2011, 11:08:05 AM »
She's already a citizen, and the reason I keep helping her is because I've seen how she lived in Ukraine...absolutely miserable, her family subsisting on the equivalent of about fifty USD per month.  The reason I remained married to her for so long was because I kept thinking things would turn around, and I must admit there were a few good days.  She gave up a good scholarship to come to the US and I felt like it was my responsibility to make sure she finished her education.  Yes, a lot of it is my fault, but I'm telling you guys these girls have a hidden agenda, no matter how sincere you think they are, they really do just want to make a better life for themselves over here, with or with out a guy.  The Ukrainian mind does not work the same way as an American's.  Over there they are raised to be cold and calculating, here in the US we grew up with women's rights, equal opportunity, et cetera.  Ukrainian women simply do not think the same way we do.  The vast majority think American men are spineless wimps or losers for not being able to connect with an American woman.  You'll see, get into a relationship with one of these women from Eastern Europe and then just watch as the years unfold...you'll be just as miserable as I am, trust me.

for some balance,,
why did you look in the first place??
perhaps noticing 50% of your friends in unhappy domestic marriages?
RW don't have the market on divorce or having unhappy husbands.. ?
 
You've been through the ringer, and seem to have accepted to
 at least 4 more years of this?
I just can't fathom it.
 
Having already been married 8 and helping her for 4 more
just to honor some self obligation about her education seems odd.Shes an adult, your marriage isnt good,
or could hardly be called a marriage..
both of you should seek help in resolving things,
 or simply divorce, why keep complicating it?
 
You admit to things being horrible in the K1 ,
so you wernt truly in love? and it went downhill after.
 
While i wont say your generalizations lack all merit,
there is that stereotype for a reasion afterall,,
there are a lot of good women as well, and in happy relationships.
 
 
 
.

Offline JohnDearGreen

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Re: Tradervic's Travesty
« Reply #11 on: September 13, 2011, 11:11:14 AM »
...and she revealed she had herpes as well. 
Didn't the pre-K1 medical exam find that out?

Offline Jumper

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Re: Tradervic's Travesty
« Reply #12 on: September 13, 2011, 11:24:41 AM »
Didn't the pre-K1 medical exam find that out?

it should ,
 
but have you been to that office?
 i'm faiorly certain  a slight bribe and all is *a-ok* 
 
.

Offline BC

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Re: Tradervic's Travesty
« Reply #13 on: September 13, 2011, 11:25:54 AM »
Didn't the pre-K1 medical exam find that out?

I highly doubt the medical exam would even consider such as an impediment to immigration.

You almost sound like someone who is expecting the government to save you from your own mistakes....

That ain't the government's job.

Offline ECOCKS

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Re: Tradervic's Travesty
« Reply #14 on: September 13, 2011, 11:33:49 AM »
Pretty pathetic story, way over-generalized and an example of near-complete denial until several folks called him out.

A useful story for those living the fantasy though.


Pick and choose carefully among the advice offered and consider the source carefully. PM, Skype or email if you care to chat or discuss

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Re: Tradervic's Travesty
« Reply #15 on: September 13, 2011, 11:36:04 AM »
Tradervic's story smells to high heaven but, let's assume for a moment it is true. There wasn't much in 2002 in the way of fora for a man do a lot of research on the subject but, jeesh, how gullible can one man really be? This gal's herpes is the least of his problems. The K-1 exam would have detected that but it wouldn't had mattered. The number of cases of STDs are staggering even among the US population.


Vic married a woman he knew nothing about other than she was young, good looking and was a great vacation buddy. A lot of bad choices he made and he is a willing victim. When "he" tires of it, he will correct it.

Offline BC

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Re: Tradervic's Travesty
« Reply #16 on: September 13, 2011, 11:56:59 AM »
Tradervic's story smells to high heaven but, let's assume for a moment it is true. There wasn't much in 2002 in the way of fora for a man do a lot of research on the subject but, jeesh, how gullible can one man really be? This gal's herpes is the least of his problems. The K-1 exam would have detected that but it wouldn't had mattered. The number of cases of STDs are staggering even among the US population.


Vic married a woman he knew nothing about other than she was young, good looking and was a great vacation buddy. A lot of bad choices he made and he is a willing victim. When "he" tires of it, he will correct it.

Unless acute and a gynecological exam was done I doubt any test would show such.  Do women spread their legs for immigration medical exams?

Does reek of Codependency though..  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codependency




Offline BC

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Re: Tradervic's Travesty
« Reply #17 on: September 13, 2011, 12:43:42 PM »
The vast majority think American men are spineless wimps or losers for not being able to connect with an American woman.  You'll see, get into a relationship with one of these women from Eastern Europe and then just watch as the years unfold...you'll be just as miserable as I am, trust me.

Just a couple of thoughts tradervic,

first, you can only be of real assistance or asset for another only if you own house is in order.. if not you aren't in position to really help another, and instead are prey.

Second, never forget that in all  life circumstances, YOU must remain Nr. 1.  Any attempts to make another person in your life happy are temporary. They are responsible for their own happiness, you can only try to guide and support their efforts.

Online Faux Pas

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Re: Tradervic's Travesty
« Reply #18 on: September 13, 2011, 12:48:15 PM »
Unless acute and a gynecological exam was done I doubt any test would show such.  Do women spread their legs for immigration medical exams?

Does reek of Codependency though..  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codependency


Doesn't it show in the blood work? In any event, it doesn't matter as they would not deny her entry for herpes and unlikely would it be revealed to him. I don't recall being informed of anything from my wife's exam other than the approval stamp for the doc

Offline GQBlues

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Re: Tradervic's Travesty
« Reply #19 on: September 13, 2011, 01:03:36 PM »
... Be warned, be very, very careful of who you marry.  These women will suck the life out of you, I'm not kidding.

TraderVic-
 
You have my sympathy. FWIW, you aren't the first, nor will be the last that curse the experience in damnation to eternal hellish flames.  From the surface, there are obvious glaring reasons from your OP that screams to many where things went awry. But as such, there's always comfort in Monday morning quarterbacking and we do know many things have a tendency to look differently along the line of scrimmage during Sunday's 'huts'.
 
That said, it would be useful for some folks along the way if there's any possible way you can 'productively' lend insights within your experience so that someone else can avoid getting decked or blitzed for no other reason than ignoring things they shouldn't be.
 
Relationships between people of different cultures carry with it additional difficulties over and above folks of the same cultures do. That's the tough part a lot of folks starting on this journey either cannot possibly understand, or just simply refuse to recognize.
 
It'll be cool to have you around to timely blow the whistle when you spot a foul now and then.
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Offline Daveman

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Re: Tradervic's Travesty
« Reply #20 on: September 13, 2011, 02:07:57 PM »

....

Relationships between people of different cultures carry with it additional difficulties over and above folks of the same cultures do. That's the tough part a lot of folks starting on this journey either cannot possibly understand, or just simply refuse to recognize.
 
It'll be cool to have you around to timely blow the whistle when you spot a foul now and then.


Absofreakin'lutely.  I think the reason for that is simply that these differences really don't manifest themselves so much until after the initial "be sweet" dating phase and the relationship begins to become more 'settled'. Then we really begin to see what was highlighted up-thread -- that they just think differently than we do about a few (ahem) things.  Sometimes it's just baffling and at other times, after seeing it enough, I think they just do and say goofy stuff they neither believe nor mean just to push a man's buttons and get a reaction of some kind.  A 'strong' reaction, in their warped and sometimes incomprehensible way of looking at the world, means he can't be pushed around, or that he cares. A 'weak' reaction opens another door or two - she may very well continue acting goofy until his reaction (the one she's looking for) stops her.  It's the same kind of games all women play in one form or another (and of course the men as well) but the rules are just a bit different.


There are 'dating' games and then there are 'relationship games'.  The dating games are nearly identical whereas the relationship games diverge a little from our western norm. 


But, that's only my theory du jour which will probably change without notice to something like "they're just flippin' crazy".












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Offline alex330

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Re: Tradervic's Travesty
« Reply #21 on: September 13, 2011, 06:08:49 PM »

Doesn't it show in the blood work?

Depends on the test that was given and the type she has. The old tests were not very reliable...
Don't be stupid guys and make sure you both get fully tested. Have you seen the STD rates in the FSU lately?  Would be a big buzzkill after finding Mrs Right.


Offline BillyB

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Re: Tradervic's Travesty
« Reply #22 on: September 13, 2011, 10:32:27 PM »
I traveled to Kiev in 2002 and met several Ukrainian women, all gorgeous, all in their early twenties.  One girl I ended up liking quite a bit and we traveled to the Dominican Republic twice to meet (at the time that and Turkey were the only countries they were allowed to travel to without a visa).  Katrina and I ended up getting married in 2003 and its been a living hell ever since.  During the fiance visa period while she was here in the US we fought constantly, she went through all my things, tearing up photos of old girlfriends and she revealed she had herpes as well.  Then at the end of the fiance visa period I asked her to leave and she refused so we ended up getting married anyway, hoping it "would work out."  Its been eight years now, I became a virtual parent to her as she has been unable to hold a job as she fights with everyone.  Now I finally got her into a good University and she is studying to be a mortician but it will be many years before she will be able to sustain herself, in the meantime we have not had sex in over five years and she has cheated on me several times.  I'm broke, bankrupt and have wasted 8 years of my life, and this still will not be over for another four years at least.  Do your self a favor, forget it, all these Ukrainian and Russian brides just want a green card, its a fact, my wife and her friends laugh at their stupid American husbands, each bragging how much they can get out of him.  I would never have gone to Ukraine if I thought this would happen, I thought marrying a younger girl would make me feel younger, its the exact opposite, I feel like I'm 80 years old and she treats me that way too.  Don't do it, don't be stupid, you're just wasting time, money and you'll end up getting hurt.  I had to go into therapy because of this, my doctor told me he had five patients that all tried marrying Russian or Ukrainian women and none of the relationships worked out.  My life is like  a living hell now, and I used to be so carefree and happy before I met Katrina.  I would cut off my leg to be rid of her...but there is no end in sight.  Be warned, be very, very careful of who you marry.  These women will suck the life out of you, I'm not kidding.

True story whether it's Tradervic's or not. I know a guy going through a divorce right now with an American woman. He admitted he did not have sex either for 5 years. I asked him why didn't he address the problem earlier.
 
Ever heard of "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me". You've been fooled for years and you blame the woman for feeling old. Next time when crap enters your life, get rid of it immediately. When the person you love hurts you, they don't care about you so don't wait and expect things to turn around.
Fund the audits, spread the word and educate people, write your politicians and other elected officials. Stay active in the fight to save our country. Over 220 generals and admirals say we are in a fight for our survival like no other time since 1776.

Offline tfcrew

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Re: Tradervic's Travesty
« Reply #23 on: September 14, 2011, 04:34:49 AM »
"Katrina" huh?
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Offline Wayne

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Re: Tradervic's Travesty
« Reply #24 on: September 14, 2011, 11:20:34 AM »
From what the OP has said, if they get divorced, she will probably get spousal support money. How much she will get depends upon his income and/or retirement benefits. If she moves out, there will be additional expenses for her place to live, utilities, food, etc.
 
It could be better if they can make a written agreement on their living together. Sort of a pre-nup after the fact. An Attorney who does mediation could do this. After 4 years when she has a good paying job, she could repay him for the education expenses.
 
Since the woman mainly wants a better way of living, this could work out.

 

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