How important is love?

[Goombah]

Bruno - does she have a sister?  Cousin?  Close friend?  Acquaintance thats cute?

Kevin (coming down from a 2 month relationship, followed by discovering last night that my #1 replacement lead was a known visa/travel scammer)

[Bruno]

Yes, she have a sister but she is already married with a man from Griekland ( owner from a local marriage agency  ), the first baby is coming in May... and for her brother, sorry but he will be cleric like the father....


[line]
followed by discovering last night that my #1 replacement lead was a known visa/travel scammer
[line]


Have you write to your #1 for ask her about the visa/travel scam... i know woman listed to be scammer but they are not...

I have know a woman who was listed to be a scammer but it was not true... she was writing with a European man... these man have wish invit her in his country... she have agree and ask financial hepl because she cannot pay all... he have agree... he have begin write erotic letter... she have stop the relation because she was shocked... he have publish the letter where she ask help... she was listed in black list...

I have try to remove her... with the copy of erotic letter, the man have remove his claim but it was too late... other list have copy her data... now, she have find a man with the use of a false name for the ads and they are happy...

Advice : write her, say that you have see that she was black listed and ask her what have happend... if she is honest, she will be shocked but she will reply... propose your help for remove her... she will show you a lot of gratitude.

Example from 2 woman i have help to be removed from black list:

"I very much concerned of the  created situation .Your safety and safety of your hobby are put under doubt... You very kind man. You protect my honour the woman as the ancient heroes the knights battling on rapiers but in the modern world by means of work on  PC."

"First of all I want to thank you for trust to me. I did not hope, that you  can  understand  me. I do not find suitable words  to  express  you  the  gratitude. I so worry, how never worried earlier.  Now  all  my  ideas only about what you I did. I ask myself, than  I  have  deserved  such  fine  Prince  as you. For what I so was thanked  by  the God? Now I believe, that there are miracles on light. After  a black strip necessarily there will come a white strip. And my time  has  come. Now I can precisely tell, that I the happiest girl on light with xxxxx.  At  me  has  appeared  present the man behind which I can feel myself  as  behind  a  stone  wall."

[Goombah]

Actually, yes, I did provide my #1 with an opportunity to comment on the material I found.  I basically told her that she was very beautiful, and I wanted to everything I could find about her, so did a search on her e-mail and found the scam report.  I provided her with a link.

Long shot, probably a VERY long shot, but I couldn't see any reason to be nasty.

Kevin

[Goombah]

I should add that the guy that posted backed our around the time there was some travel involved, he hesitated, she started writing more sexually explicit letters, etc.  He posted something like 20 of her letters on the site.  I must say, I did like her fantasies... but they were pretty explicit.  Now, that came after exchanging something like 30 letters, but before they had met.  So... who knows.

Kevin

[andrewfi]

Bruno, I am not Estonian. Apart from your violent distaste at what I correctly wrote, I see nothing in what you posted that negates anything that I posit.

Bruno, it is nice to have a dream, a fantasy. Most poor women seeking an improved life are much more pragmatic than you, of course, you can afford to be. Most women end up making a committment to marry after jsut a few days spent with a strnager to whom they can not talk. How does such a person fall in love?

Men, we seem to be different. We seem to be much more needy and after all we are actually looking for different things in our mates than women are.

It is great when a learning to love turns real, but it takes work and it ain't magic as you have discovered more than once, but perhaps have yet to learn.

 

[ChickMagnet]

Dang, Just clicked on the last thread and saw this thread.

Would it be safe to say that "love at first site" or "lust at first site" both applied in this 25 year age difference marriage?
Wouldn't it be safe to say with a man at 45 years of age just about any 20 year old hot FSUW would fall into this category from the man's perspective?

The marriage didn't last so I would say both applied in this case from the man's perspective.

We have to visit history to teach future people.

[Gator]

Mark,

Welcome back.  So how are you and family?   I hope everything is splendid, and it must be if you have returned.

I do recall your many battles with KenC.  In your case, he declared that deciding to marry someone during the first meeting is risky ("OWW" or One Week Wonder).  And he stated about himself that a large age difference is risky.   

You defied the odds.  He did not (at the 10-year mark IIRC). 

The important point when facing high odds is to accept the possibility of negative consequences.  KenC accepted his loss like a man and moved on with his life.  The last we heard, and this was some time ago,  he met a fine woman in China and the two of them are remarkably compatible.   

I believe you will admit that KenC made many valuable contributions to the content of RWD.  He was sincere in wanting to help men in this pursuit.  Because his advice frequently ran counter to what a man wanted to hear and was not sugar coated, some men responded with bitter remarks. 

BTW, Turboguy and VWRW have an even larger difference in ages, and there marriage is ticking along. 

[krimster2]

in the relationships that this board is interested in, there can exist two different kinds of “love”, there is sexual love which is based on attraction and attachment which is a selfish love, and there is a second kind of love which is based on kindness, compassion and concern for the other which is an unselfish love.  selfish love can be an intense experience since it is deeply rooted in biology, it can sometimes “backfire” with issues of jealousy and concerns about the degree of shared attraction and attachment.  it’s been my experience that selfish love can over time transform into the unselfish kind, and that they can both exist together.  it’s also been my experience that a large age difference can facilitate an unselfish love due to an element of a kind of paternal/child similarity experience.  it’s also been my experience that for a selfish/sexual love to flourish between a younger woman/older man, the man though older must be seen as still being fit and attractive

[ML]

. . . there marriage . . .

What is this?

Something they teach in the Ivy League?  :-)

[BillyB]

What is this?

Brain farts happen. Gator meant to say "they're"


As far as love goes, don't go after it. Gain the respect from ladies and with respect comes their love. Love takes time to grow and the more you gain respect during a relationship, the love will grow.

[Maxx2]

Mark,

Welcome back.  So how are you and family?   I hope everything is splendid, and it must be if you have returned.

I do recall your many battles with KenC.  In your case, he declared that deciding to marry someone during the first meeting is risky ("OWW" or One Week Wonder).  And he stated about himself that a large age difference is risky.   

You defied the odds.  He did not (at the 10-year mark IIRC). 

The important point when facing high odds is to accept the possibility of negative consequences.  KenC accepted his loss like a man and moved on with his life.  The last we heard, and this was some time ago,  he met a fine woman in China and the two of them are remarkably compatible.   

I believe you will admit that KenC made many valuable contributions to the content of RWD.  He was sincere in wanting to help men in this pursuit.  Because his advice frequently ran counter to what a man wanted to hear and was not sugar coated, some men responded with bitter remarks. 

BTW, Turboguy and VWRW have an even larger difference in ages, and there marriage is ticking along.

I understand Mark. This thread just caused me to read quotes from Josef Goebbels.

[Faux Pas]

Brain farts happen. Gator meant to say "they're"

Yeah, really. Try again. Th_ir

[Turboguy]

Brain farts happen. Gator meant to say "they're"

I am the last person to correct someone's English but shouldn't it have been "their" not "they're" or as originally stated "there".

[BillyB]

I am the last person to correct someone's English but shouldn't it have been "their" not "they're" or as originally stated "there".

I knew it should be "their" but am I wrong to say Gator meant to write "they're" instead of "there"?

[Faux Pas]

I knew it should be "their" but am I wrong to say Gator meant to write "they're" instead of "there"?

and they are marriage is ticking along? Really? Yes Billy you are wrong. Not like it's the first time. Own it and move along

[Turboguy]

I knew it should be "their" but am I wrong to say Gator meant to write "they're" instead of "there"?

Well to be honest Billy, Gator said


and there marriage is ticking along

Since you said they're should have been the proper word and they're is a contraction of "they are" had he said

and they are marriage is ticking along.

I don't think it would have sounded too proper. 

It's no big deal just don't give up your day job to teach English 

[BillyB]

ML had some fun. Can I have fun too without anybody being upset? This forum has a search engine. One can go back and check if I know how to use the words "their", "they're", and "there" properly. Of course I know how to use them properly and I don't need to check on Gator. I KNOW he knows how to use those words properly because I read enough of his posts. Brain farts happen, even to the best of us, and we'll accidentally type similarly spelled or sounding words to what we wanted to write. If you don't like it, lets meat on the playground after work at knight and wheel discuss our differences. For the record, spell check says my post is error free.

[Faux Pas]

ML had some fun. Can I have fun too without anybody being upset? This forum has a search engine. One can go back and check if I know how to use the words "their", "they're", and "there" properly. Of course I know how to use them properly and I don't need to check on Gator. I KNOW he knows how to use those words properly because I read enough of his posts. Brain farts happen, even to the best of us, and we'll accidentally type similarly spelled or sounding words to what we wanted to write. If you don't like it, lets meat on the playground after work at knight and wheel discuss our differences. For the record, spell check says my post is error free.

If being wrong and ignorant is your idea of having fun, have at it 

[ML]

It was clear to me that Billy knew the correct word was not 'they're.'

As I was trying to show humor in catching an excellent wordsmith (Gator) in a common (on this board) mistake, Billy was adding to my humor in intimating that Gator really meant to type another word, which was also an incorrect word.

[Faux Pas]

It was clear to me that Billy knew the correct word was not 'they're.'

As I was trying to show humor in catching an excellent wordsmith (Gator) in a common (on this board) mistake, Billy was adding to my humor in intimating that Gator really meant to type another word, which was also an incorrect word.

So, it backfired and only proves you to be as wrong and ignorant as Billy.

When you turn grammar Nazi and attempt to correct someone else's grammar, at least do it correctly. 

[Gator]

You caught me.   I made a mistake, I omitted a comma.

"....and there, marriage is ticking along."   There would be Beaver Falls. 


Okay, so maybe my voice recognition typing software is malfunctioning and can not distinguish there from their or they're.

Or maybe this is another sign of my creeping dementia. 

[LiveFromUkraine]

Interesting question and thanks for bumping this thread.

I do think the nature of love changes as the relationship progresses.  Is it simply chemistry that creates that "deeply in love" feeling at the beginning of a relationship for reproductive reasons? 


I have several friends that married but didn't have children.  To me, I always thought it was strange to get married when children wasn't on the table.   They still seem to be in love with each other.  Not the infatuated love when they first dated but a definite bond.

[Anotherkiwi]

Interesting question and thanks for bumping this thread.

I do think the nature of love changes as the relationship progresses.  Is it simply chemistry that creates that "deeply in love" feeling at the beginning of a relationship for reproductive reasons? 


I have several friends that married but didn't have children.  To me, I always thought it was strange to get married when children wasn't on the table.   They still seem to be in love with each other.  Not the infatuated love when they first dated but a definite bond.

Why?  I know several childless couples who have married because they believe it demonstrates that their commitment to each other and their relationship is much stronger than if they just lived together.  There are all sorts of reasons for not having children, including simply not wanting any or being physically unable to do so.

[LiveFromUkraine]

Why?  I know several childless couples who have married because they believe it demonstrates that their commitment to each other and their relationship is much stronger than if they just lived together. 

Marriage, in itself, isn't much of a commitment these days.  Look at the divorce rates. 

There are all sorts of reasons for not having children, including simply not wanting any or being physically unable to do so.

I don't follow.  You're post makes it sound like I said there was something wrong with them not wanting children.   

[Anotherkiwi]

Marriage, in itself, isn't much of a commitment these days.  Look at the divorce rates.

Probably depends where you are.  Although Spain and Portugal are rather startling exceptions, divorce rates in predominantly Catholic or Muslim countries are lower than in others.

I don't follow.  You're post makes it sound like I said there was something wrong with them not wanting children.

No - I'm just following on from what you said in your previous post:

To me, I always thought it was strange to get married when children wasn't on the table.