Advice sought

[GoodOlBoy]

Jim, do youself a favor and go read this TR that was just posted :

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=14122.msg281903;topicseen#msg281903
 
And then draw your own conclusions.
 
GOB

[Faux Pas]

Okay,
 
I give up.
 
Jim, the committee has met and has concluded your woman to be a deceiving piece of trash who will bust your balls but only after taking every kroner you have saved.   
 
The committee believes you should start over and find someone who is frugal, does her wifey chores and duties, does not fancy pretty things, does not care about her children,  and would never ask a man for anything.  Please read BillyB's posts on how to find such a compliant woman.
 
Also, your next woman needs to speak English except have the flaw of not being able to pronounce "j" and "th," enabling her to speak Swedish. 
 
Meanwhile be sure to have plenty of sex so that in case this next woman also proves unacceptable, you will not regret having given her the $15 SSAB statinless steel cake server when you first met.
 
Jim - I am making a joke, and many friends tell me that I have a twisted sense of humor.

Touche'! I got a good laugh out of that post Gator. Thanks! I get your point but to me it wasn't anything to do with frugality, wifely duties ect.. It is everything to do with integrity. Jim's description came off to me as sounding as if this woman, may not have much. Indeed, more questions or a better description may have lead me in another direction but, it is, what it is.


After two meetings should he have a clue? IMHO, without a doubt he should. It just doesn't work in such a manner but, I would hope most at least had a clue before the first meeting. Certainly after a first meeting, at the very minimum, a clue.

[GQBlues]

Jim-
 
I do hope your next trip will enable you to finally meet her son/family and give you deeper clarity into some of your concerns...
 
But forgive me for the ensuing point I'd like to make...
 

...Let me first tell that she have the son. I've seen photos of the arm and also of him...

 
I have a pic of myself with Michelle Pfeifer. It doesn't mean we are/were in a relationship.
I have a pic of me sitting in a Ferrari. It doesn't mean I own one.
I have a chest full of pictures of me holding my nieces and nephews. It doesn't mean I have children.
 
FWIW.

[Kineo]

 
I see there has been alot of advice given already. I will admit I did not ready every word. But just the same I will added my thoughts.
- I would if the 7000 for the broken arm was in hryvnia not dollars
- I agree you need to meet the family which leeds me into the next item
- Talk with her about things that are imporant to you, you concerns. Be host and open. If she is really serious about the the relationship she should want to dicsuss these things with you. Get the Intrepreter if that is what works for you. My UW and I use google translate and do very well. And we did have a big discuss about one topic. This communication skill you will need the rest of your relationship with her.

[Jim]

Let us start with the information that it was very complicated with the arm. The son were on hospital for 5 daqs.

She's 38 years old.

I knew the moment we started to chat that she didn't know any English. We use right now translators, but we normally understand each other because if the translation are bad we try one more time.

It's free the learn Swedish if people get married to a woman or man from Sweden.

I've yesterday send her a mail and told her about my problems - but she haven't answered, but she is normally at her parents from Saturday to Sunday (They live about 40 km. from her home.

But thanks again for all the advices.

[Misha]

Let us start with the information that it was very complicated with the arm. The son were on hospital for 5 days.

Unless he was flown overseas, it still wouldn't have cost $7,000 

[Gator]

I've yesterday send her a mail and told her about my problems - but she haven't answered, but she is normally at her parents from Saturday to Sunday (They live about 40 km. from her home.

I hope yopur questions were diplomatic.  A good FSUW has a lot of pride.
 
I believe it is best that you make a 3-way call using an interpreter.  You will get to the heart of the matter because an interpreter knows how to ask probing questions.  Also, an interpreter will give you an opinion about the answers.

[BillyB]

Let us start with the information that it was very complicated with the arm. The son were on hospital for 5 daqs.

 
Doctors in Ukraine make a few hundred dollars a month or about $10 a day. Labor costs aren't expensive. Staying overnight at the hospital is nowhere near as expensive as is here in America. My fiancee's mom had a badly infected hand and had to stay there 3 days at a hospital but she knew some of the doctors and wasn't charged. Use of medical tools, IV, and medicine can't be much either. Did the boy wear a gold plated cast?
 
Hopefully you'll get some kind of answer to your email that sheds some light on this.

[mendeleyev]

The second husband was a control freak and didn't want her to be together with her friends and in the end he didn't want her to work. But she have told me that is she have problems with money she can call him and of course I wonder why a ex-husband will give her money because he knows that their relationship.

Jim, odd definition of a control freak: she can live her own life but always come to him for money.

I like much of Gator's advice as well as the many other learned posters on this thread. However, the fact that you've yet to meet the family in 2 trips, and that she wanted to go off somewhere on vacation without you meeting the family has RED LIGHTS, FLASHING ALARM SIGNALS, and TORNADO SIRENS screaming in the background.

That one thing is so much bigger than the money for perfume, underwear and help on the son's arm (a son you've yet to meet) but even so, you have a out of control FIRE going on here.

Time for a cold shower and a padlock on the wallet.

If you have to ask to meet the family after all this time then she simply doesn't want you to meet the family.

Family is so much more of a concern to most RW and UW that I'm getting a headache just reading all this.

You will do what you will do. That is human nature. We wish you the best.

[Gator]

.... the fact that you've yet to meet the family in 2 trips, and that she wanted to go off somewhere on vacation without you meeting the family has RED LIGHTS, FLASHING ALARM SIGNALS, and TORNADO SIRENS screaming in the background.

That one thing is so much bigger than the money for perfume, underwear and help on the son's arm ....

Family is so much more of a concern to most RW and UW that I'm getting a headache just reading all this.

Jim,
 
Mendeleyev lives in Russia.  He is a journalist.  He reports about all things Russian.  He has been married to a RW for more than 10 years.  Please listen to him.  Rarely is his advice about personal relationships so definitive.
 
You came here concerned about her asking for gifts,  pizza, etc.   And as a small blurb you touch on the more important issue that she has not introduced you to her family.  If a RW likes you, she will introduce you to her family.  If she had visited you twice in Sweden, would you have not introduced your family to her?  And the concept of family is even more important in the FSU.
 
As it stands now, she does not seem ready to have a committed relationship with you.  You need to have a serious talk with her. 

[GQBlues]

...As it stands now, she does not seem ready to have a committed relationship with you.  You need to have a serious talk with her.

 
Well, that would require at least another $500.00 for serious lessons. Not-so-serious, maybe 200 bucks, +/-.