women with adult children

[Donna_Pedro]

I don't disagree with this in general, however, it appears (to me anyway) that her expectations were far more than

Did she tell you this?  No? Did she tell civi this? No?  He should have offered and then he (and we) would have known for sure.

Let's see... FSU dating is obviously not for him --- because he doesn't/didn't feel comfortable enough to agree to put daughter on the payroll, and send a couple thousand (seemingly her expectation) to a woman he barely knows

FSU dating is not for him because he did not make even a single smallest attempt to show that he cares.   

[GoodOlBoy]

You love this suggestion, dont you? Sorry to spoil your fun,  but Donna Pedro has been living in the US for the last 10 years. She  has done her fair share of charity and advice help, including people on this forum. So if you still want to talk about being hypocritical - you are welcome.

Oh well, I guess Mom's not going to make it then. 
And the Daughter......
 
GOB

[Donna_Pedro]

Oh well, I guess Mom's not going to make it then. 
And the Daughter......
 
GOB

Mom will eventually make it.  I personally hope that next time it will be with  someone other than a niggardly jerk. Even if after reading this thread it might not seem like this, but they do exist.

[Ranetka]

Mom will eventually make it.  I personally hope that next time it will be with  someone other than a niggardly jerk. Even if after reading this thread it might not seem like this, but they do exist.

I think GOB meant the woman's dying mother.

[JR]

No, I am thinking of you and your "family" members in such a way.  You are not fools, no. You are just petty jerks with low self esteem, who are afraid not to have a full return on every damn dime invested. Go to russian-english dictionary, look up the word жлоб(ы). There should be your "family" (group) portrait right next to it.

Awe that really hurts, no really it does LOL....and I kinda expected your "Good Will" to run to nothing more than words and self accolades when called on it )))

[GoodOlBoy]

...I kinda expected your "Good Will" to run to nothing more than words and self accolades when called on it )))

What is GOMG's signature phrase?
Oh yeah, now I remember: "Empty cans make the most noise "
 
 
GOB

[Gator]

I see some of you have had the opportunity to chat with Donna Pedro and get to know her better.    


GOB, it has been a long time and if my memory is correct Donna's husband is an ex-marine (either that or looked like a DI in his photo).

FSU dating is not for him because he did not make even a single smallest attempt to show that he cares.

I agree that he could have handled it better and still stayed with his intentions of not helping the daughter and not paying for a major operation.  No one likes to be told "No! No way! And that is my final word."  Especially a RW.  A little diplomacy, empathy, sympathy and leadership would have helped.


Then again, maybe Civi discovered that he really felt no affection for this woman.  If that is the case, you must admire his quick decision to exit.  Some suckers would have held on and spent lots of money.  That says Civi should not avoid FSU women but exercise more due diligence in the pre-meeting phase.

[Gator]

Gator,
 
Reading this I am sure if OP's woman had half the skills your stepdaughter has she would already had her mum's operation paid in full.
 
And this is my last comment on the subject :-)

Sorry, but I can not let this mischaracterization go.  I have known her for over 5 years and  she has lived in my house for a year.  I find her serious, reserved, grateful, sweet, shy and somewhat naive.  Those last three qualities together with her ample assets are alluring to hormonally impaired men but not an act, and the same men fail to realize the first two qualities.


Hopefully her beauty is not a curse when she enters the job market.

In exchange for buying her a flight home she agreed to pull weeds.  She has done that without one complaint for 8 months through the bugs and humid heat of Florida.  And I find her insights about mama's opinions and behavior very valuable.  The family is very very close.

[Ranetka]

My ex-wife from Moscow was raised by her grandmother so her relationship was very close, akin to a mother.   When this 75-yo grandmother got lung cancer, she never asked for one kopeck.  Sadly, the grandmother died in less than a year.  Her death was expected, and Russians are able to accept such,  probably better than Americans accept it considering their country's long history of turmoil and tragedy and a shorter expected life.

Perhaps your ex decided not to bother you with unplesanties. You made your positioin clear in this thread.
 
As a Russian person and especially since I lost both of my parents to cancer fairly recenly I am amazed and actually insulted that you think we somehow more accepting of death of people dear to us.
 

[Donna_Pedro]

Awe that really hurts, no really it does LOL....and I kinda expected your "Good Will" to run to nothing more than words and self accolades when called on it )))

Actually my experience translates to 10 years of successful marriage, being with my husband "in good times and in bad, in health and in sickness"  which very few of you can boast. This alone should prove that my point has a lot of value. Now lets see what you can bring to the table.  Please before you post your next reply to me - please say  what is it in particular, "besides words" do you have to offer?

[Ranetka]

Sorry, but I can not let this mischaracterization go.  I have known her for over 5 years and  she has lived in my house for a year.  I find her serious, reserved, grateful, sweet, shy and somewhat naive.  Those last three qualities together with her ample assets are alluring to hormonally impaired men but not an act, and the same men fail to realize the first two qualities.


Hopefully her beauty is not a curse when she enters the job market.

In exchange for buying her a flight home she agreed to pull weeds.  She has done that without one complaint for 8 months through the bugs and humid heat of Florida.  And I find her insights about mama's opinions and behavior very valuable.  The family is very very close.

When I grew up I knew that to accept an expensive gift from a man is to give him a hope and a hint. No, thank you - all that she has to say. May be times has changed.

[Donna_Pedro]

GOB, it has been a long time and if my memory is correct Donna's husband is an ex-marine (either that or looked like a DI in his photo).

Thanks, Gator. My husband is indeed an ex-military - Navy actually.

[GQBlues]

....Then again, maybe Civi discovered that he really felt no affection for this woman.

Oooppsss...No Affection?!? My bad. I thought something else caused Civi to make a quick exit. Or maybe the 'sex' wasn't as good as hoped...
 

...If that is the case, you must admire his quick decision to exit.

No thanks...you can keep the admiration part. I'm feeling generous today. 
 

...  Some suckers would have held on and spent lots of money.  That says Civi should not avoid FSU women but exercise more due diligence in the pre-meeting phase.

I've said upthread, what he should do is stay home and date younger, prettier wealthy women from his community. Why even import a wife from impoverished regional countries and get into these types of worries? It isn't a coincidence that FSUWs, as with all other MOBers, unfortunately happen to be from less-than-fortunate regions who do have extended families, and their desire to 'help' doesn't diminish simply because a blue-balled American showed up bearing gifts.
 
From the original post, this woman didn't say she would like for HIM to send monthly stipend, she said she'd like to work upon getting here so SHE (they) can send money to her kids. That sounds a lot like a darn good motherly woman to me...

... However, this woman says that if she comes to America, we have to send $300 a month to help support her daughter. This woman wants to work if she comes here but her skills are limited so she will basically be a low wage worker.

Yup, she deserves better so it's good the OP is cutting her loose.

[Donna_Pedro]

I wonder how many of posters in this thread saw their dying relatives other than in a hospice where someone else cleaned them, changed them and put them into nice nightdress?

exactly!

[pitbull]

When I grew up I knew that to accept an expensive gift from a man is to give him a hope and a hint. No, thank you - all that she has to say. May be times has changed.

Yes, I'm with Ranetka here. Gator, when she and her girlfriend went to visit the older guy in another city - did he pay for any of her/their expenses? Like the flight and hotel room, entertainment (restaurants, clubs etc.)? If yes, it was pretty clear he wanted to be more than friends with her "ample assets" 

[Donna_Pedro]

When I grew up I knew that to accept an expensive gift from a man is to give him a hope and a hint. No, thank you - all that she has to say. May be times has changed.

Weird. I was under the impression that gifts are a part of  courtship process. And it is solely up to a woman if she wants to consider them a "hope or a hint" or..... just  gifts. Gifts such as flowers, inexpensive jewelry etc  do not entitle a man to anything. If a man feels that they do - its his problem, he might be up for a rude awakening. Expensive gifts are presented when the situation has advanced way beyond "hopes and hints". 

[Ranetka]

Weird. I was under the impression that gifts are a part of  courtship process. And it is solely up to a woman if she wants to consider them a "hope or a gift" or..... just gifts. Gifts such as flowers, inexpensive jewelry etc  do not entitle a man to anything. If a man feels that they do - its his problem, he might be up for a rude awakening. Expensive gifts are presented when the situation has advanced way beyond "hopes and hints". 

Of course, totally in agreement with you. As I remember Gator was mentioning expensive stuff.
 
I also understand expensive is subjective. But if Gator says gifts are expensive then I trust his judgement :-)

[pitbull]

Weird. I was under the impression that gifts are a part of  courtship process. And it is solely up to a woman if she wants to consider them a "hope or a hint" or..... just  gifts. Gifts such as flowers, inexpensive jewelry etc  do not entitle a man to anything. If a man feels that they do - its his problem, he might be up for a rude awakening. Expensive gifts are presented when the situation has advanced way beyond "hopes and hints". 

Not in my culture  If a woman accepts fairly expensive gifts like lewelry or "trips" from a man, it's a direct hint that she is leaning towards accepting his advances. Otherwise, she is just using him for gifts. Fellow RWD-ers call such women pro-daters   
 
 Going to a restaurant on a date when a man pays is the part of courtship.

[Gator]

Perhaps your ex decided not to bother you with unplesanties. You made your positioin clear in this thread.

You are way off the mark.
 

As a Russian person and especially since I lost both of my parents to cancer fairly recenly I am amazed and actually insulted that you think we somehow more accepting of death of people dear to us.

Just my impression.  I could be wrong, just as you are wrong thinking my future stepdaughter is hustling gifts.


You have my sympathy regarding the loss of your parents.  BTW, my  mother died of cancer in an ICU and my father at home, each over 5 days.  I am an only child and I was there so I know death.  I imagine many other RWD men you find heartless also know death.

[Ranetka]

855  Trip Reports / Re: Odessa and AnastasiaDate. Gift Giving, 4 Men, One RW« on: May 02, 2011, 03:09:51 PM »      Gator : <blockquote> </blockquote> 
The RM are giving them gifts too.  I see this in my lady's 22-yo daughter.  Not only is the daughter beautiful, she is voluptuous of legendary proportions.  She is not a night club party girl, preferring family life.  She dates in a group with friends her age yet not every Friday and Saturday.  From what the mother says, the daughter is far from promiscuous.  In Russia she was close with only one young man who comes from a "fine family." 

RM in Russia

Being a remarkable beauty, she has been detected by the radar of the wealthy RM.  One RM has showered expensive gifts (fine fur coat, diamond bracelet, etc.) on her.  She accepts them and gives him nothing in return other than a smile and a spasibo. 
 



Saudi Student in Florida

Recently a Saudi student her age has been pursuing her.  He drives her to and from school, saving me time for which I am thankful.  Yet, i am worried that he may not be serious.  Regardless of his intentions, she does not go out in the evening with him.  He has purchased her a dress from Banana Republic and gave her a gold necklace with diamonds!     

[Ranetka]

If some RW accepted a fur coat and a dimond necklace from AM and gave nothing to him in return apart from spasibo how would she be called in this forum?
 
 
 
 

[pitbull]

855  Trip Reports / Re: Odessa and AnastasiaDate. Gift Giving, 4 Men, One RW« on: May 02, 2011, 03:09:51 PM »      Gator : <blockquote> </blockquote> 
RM in Russia

Being a remarkable beauty, she has been detected by the radar of the wealthy RM.  One RM has showered expensive gifts (fine fur coat, diamond bracelet, etc.) on her.  She accepts them and gives him nothing in return other than a smile and a spasibo.  One reason - he is married and has a young child. 

He continues to pursue her, and she will occasionally go to dinner with him.

Seriously, Gator? Occasionally goes out with a married wealthy man who has a small child and accepts expensive gifts from him? Sounds like you at least don't know the whole story. Really wealthy RM usually don't waste money like that, they expect and demand certain favors in return.

[Ranetka]

 

Just my impression.  I could be wrong, just as you are wrong thinking my future stepdaughter is hustling gifts.

I think your daughter has a gift of making men do nice things for her. And I am not being sarcastic. I beleiv e she is a nice person. Still I do not understand why she accept these gifts, she must understand these gifts are too expensive for friendly exchange and that she gives the men hope.
 
Sorry I forgot she is naive. #And he mother ex model had not explained it to her.

[Gator]

Ranetka,

I don't know what got this bug up your ass but such is not good for a happy spirit.      Some RM spend money as an investment, hoping it will return something, accepting that sometimes it will not.   

Yes, I'm with Ranetka here. Gator, when she and her girlfriend went to visit the older guy in another city - did he pay for any of her/their expenses? Like the flight and hotel room, entertainment (restaurants, clubs etc.)? If yes, it was pretty clear he wanted to be more than friends with her "ample assets" 

I agree with you that accepting gifts does encourage men, and I do not condone it.  I  brought it up initially to illustrate some cultural differences in men.  Ranetka saw it in another way. 

In this one example, she never responded physically or with words indicating he had a chance. In fact, she said she was direct in explaining "friends only."  She is studying business and enjoyed talking to him about business.  And she likes the attention (better than staying home and pulling weeds).  That was it. 

He obviously wanted more and she warned him that it was "friends only" yet he insisted.   That is why she brought her friend in case he did not live up to his agreement of "friends only."  The stupidity of the man is mind boggling.

Anyway,  I have been selling the gifts through my contacts.   So far we are doing well (I keep 10%).  Not only has she paid for this year's tuition, she has a good amount  for graduate school.   I couldn't sell the roses.  Do you have any ideas in case another idiot sends flowers?  Her plan is to step up the pace and get a sporty BMW convertible by spring. 

I would like to import a few more young RW students for this business venture.  Perhaps franchise it.  Any ideas for names? 

   

[Ranetka]

Ranetka,

I don't know what got this bug up your ass but such is not good for a happy spirit.      Some RM spend money as an investment, hoping it will return something, accepting that sometimes it will not.   

To be honest with you I do not care one way or another believe or not, you think she is a sweet girl and it all that matters. I got sidetrucked.
 
I still insist on my original point though - your fiancee is being hypocritial for calling bad someone who asked boyfriend for help when her own daughter does not hesitate accepting a bit of a prezzie. In a way of fur and diamonds.