Hello, new to RW/UW and this forum

[cm092]

I know this is a lot of information, but after I started it I could not stop!  Any further information or guidance is very much appreciated, Thanks!!

I was searching on the web to find some information about RW/UW, I cannot believe that I have not found this site before.  I have been combing this site for several days and found a lot of really good information.  So, I thought that I would post my situation and see what someone or anyone thinks.

I have been on a dating site for about nine months, I know it is a long time before really finding out more information, but everyone is a little stupid sometimes.  Anyway, I have been communicating with a woman from ukraine for about 6 months, she is from Vinnitsa.  A little background of our current relationship: we have communicated many times, usually on the weekend, as the time difference is eight hours.  I know that she is real, I have sent her flowers and received a current photo of her and we have had video chats before.  She does seem to be a little shy, at least she says this a lot. She speak very little english, but she is a teacher, and I remember her saying that she taught some children english.  Well, she does say that she does not know if she is any good at english because she never gets a chance to speak it with anyone who is fluent in the language.  A  little more information about her, she is not one of these 'playboy' models which are on many of the dating sites.  But, she is beautiful and I really like her.  No one here may believe this, but I actually find her personality and mind more attractive than her outside appearance.  I will make the point, 'she is not ugly', she is gorgeous and looks amazing!  We have talked about many different things and I feel that there is nothing we cannot talk about with each other.  She is 25 if that matters at all.  (And I am 27, so age is not a problem at all)  I started out looking at these younger women on the sites, but while I was talking to one of them and reading her messages to me, I realized that most of the younger women (<24 or 25) on the site are looking for a good time.  I do not mean sex, well maybe some of them, but just to party all the time and that kind of thing. 

Back to her, we have sent many photos to each other.  She had some photos done a few weeks ago, for free she tells me, and had sent me some of them.  But, she has also put these photos on the site, which may or may not be a good thing.  She does know what I look and I am someone that thinks honesty is best policy.  I have never lied to her about anything and I never want to. 

I am currently planning a trip to see her at the end of march, I have not gone to see her before, due to things at my work and the winter there.  I have not gotten her phone or email, I asked her about it before and she did not want to, for fear of being removed from the site.  And she says that we should meet first and then if things go well, we would swap our information.  If we both agree that things went well between us, I will definitely make sure to get all of her contact information and give her mine as well.

She seems to be very sincere in helping me with the trip.   I told her that I would be getting an apartment there, so I was giving her addresses of the places and she was telling which was the best place to stay and being very helpful.  She did not give a specific apartment or anything like that, just telling me where they were.

She has also told me that we should spend at least five days together for this trip.  She has already asked for the time off at her work for my visit (she is a preschool teacher and does tutoring on the side).  She said that it would not be a problem for her to take time off of work.  She has said that she does not want me to meet her parents for my first trip, she says they are very conservative, especially her father.  I ask her if she has told her family about me or if they know she is looking for a foreign man and she says that she told her mother (and she supports her in her decision and just wants her to be happy), but has not told her father (due to his conservativeness).  She has told me things about her family, her grandmother was recently in the hospital, but it was nothing serious.

 I told her I was going to take a train from kiev to vinnitsa, so she was giving me tons of information on what to do and what not to do when finding a taxi and getting to the train and while on the train.  Mainly just normal things not to do with strange people, but still good information.  After all of this she suggests for me to use a taxi to get to vinnitsa, as it can be very dangerous for a foreigner to ride the train there, especially for a first timer.  And that she would be very worried about me, if I were to take a train to vinnitsa.  She then suggested that I get a taxi to go from the Borispol airpot to vinnitsa, she told me it should not be more than $200.  I was a little hesitant to this.  She also says that not to take a private car, but make sure you take a taxi, and proceeds to describe what the taxi looks like for me.  After we talk about this for a little while, she says that she would take a taxi from vinnitsa and meet me at the airport.  I was a little shocked that she suggested this and it kind of made me feel better about where we might be going in our relationship.  This is where I am at right now and we are going to talk again, with more details about my trip to visit her.

My schedule for my visit is to arrive in kiev on a saturday, travel to vinnitsa on the same day.  Then spend the week with her, she is going to take me around the city.  Then I would leave on the next saturday morning.

She has never asked me for money!  And she told me something that was a little eye opening.  That she would never want to depend on a man for finances, she would want to make her own  money.  And, I am one that, if one day I do marry a RW/UW, I would definitely want her to work. 

This is just some of my experience.  This is all from memory, and as I was writing this, I kept thinking of other things to include.  I just wanted to get some advice on how anyone thinks I am doing with her or just any advice in general.   I think it is good to get someone's opinion on this, especially those who have gone through similar situations.

Thanks for any help

[JohnDearGreen]

And that she would be very worried about me, if I were to take a train to vinnitsa.  She then suggested that I get a taxi to go from the Borispol airpot to vinnitsa, she told me it should not be more than $200.   

I quickly found a couple of sites with price of $90 and $170, so not more than $200 is correct.
http://www.vinnitsa-marriage-agency.com/vinnitsa-transport.htm
I've only been in the Kyiv train station once, and it appeared to be difficult to maneuver if you don't read and speak the language.  Another choice would be to get a ride from the airport with an English speaking person who would also help you deal with the train station departure.   


You should spend a day or two touring Kyiv also.  Why not?  Best deal would be to have her stay in Kyiv with you for a couple of days of sight seeing.  Then you both ride the train to Vinnitsa (if the penpal romance is still alive).

[Faux Pas]

cm092 welcome to RWD!

A couple of questions; What website did you join 9 months ago? You have been communicating with this woman for 6 months and haven't gotten her phone number or email address? Are you just communicating exclusively through the website? Are you a paying customer when you do communicate with her?

If you answered yes to any of the last three questions, the prognosis probably isn't very good. 6 months is a long time and if she wanted to communicate outside of the website she would be. Maybe she is a really nice girl but, it doesn't appear that she is into you. The fact that you've been communicating for 6 months and haven't visited yet could be the reason why.

[ML]

After we talk about this for a little while, she says that she would take a taxi from vinnitsa and meet me at the airport.  I was a little shocked that she suggested this and it kind of made me feel better about where we might be going in our relationship. 

And just who do you think is going to pay for this taxi?

These people don't take taxi's from Vinnitsa to Kyiv.

So wait for the request for money for something that she would never spend her own money for.

And then . . . will she be at the airport?

Together with the strange situation regarding email and phone numbers; there are some yellow flags here.

[Jack]

These people don't take taxi's from Vinnitsa to Kyiv.

Yes they do ML, and quite often.  From Borispol, $150.

[Jack]

A  big flag in all this is this woman suggesting they spend 5 days together.  Having never met before I do not see to many sincere ladies doing this.

[Gator]

A  big flag in all this is this woman suggesting they spend 5 days together.  Having never met before I do not see to many sincere ladies doing this.

Jack, to me this is not a red flag.   Women who traveled from her city to where I was staying always wanted to spend a lot of time with me.  We had communicated enough where there was some level of trust.  They would ask about sleeping arrangements so that is why I would get a 1BR apartment with a sleeper sofa.
 
From a woman's perspective, she must take off from work and take a long trip.  I met in Kiev a woman from Vinnitsa and her train ride was long, 12-18 hours.
There was one exception, a woman who came to Kiev from Sevastopol.  She insisted on getting her own place to sleep.   Upon arrival she asked whether I was meeting other women.  My answer upset her, and we parted after just 30 minutes.  I hope she enjoyed the trip as I had wired her $100 for the train ticket.

There is another valid reason.   Arranging for 5 days together is her way to monopolize his time knowing that  he may want to meet other UW.

[Jack]

Gator just from my experience most good women would not agree to spend 5 days with a man they had never met.   Ahhh man, believe me, I've tried  .   A few women would, but not the overwhelming majority.      Now, not so good of women, not an issue.

Only goes to show your charm in being able to pull this off with a good woman.

[cm092]

I knew that I would pay for the taxi.  Her reasoning was that, if I got a taxi at the airport and took it to vinnitsa, I would pay for the taxi's return trip to kiev after I was dropped off in vinnitsa.  So her suggestion was, that she take a taxi to get me at the airport.  She even asked me what terminal I would come into, I'm guessing the newer one F.

The spending 5 days together really did not bring up a flag for me.  She suggested this, so what does that really mean?  She even asked me if I was going to meet other ladies while on this trip.  I don't know, how can you read a woman's signals through the internet, uh, you can't.  You would have to meet them face to face. 

The only thing wrong with it is that if we do not like each other at the meeting.  But, the wait to fix this is to just meet other ladies in either kiev or vinnitsa.  Is it wishful thinking to hope that we will hit it off, sure it is, but isn't this already a leap of faith to even go there in the first place.  Maybe I am just a fool. 

As far as the long communication, I have a question about this.  Would a woman from russia, ukraine, etc. ever initiate to exchange contact information when they barely know the other person?  I am just curious if this has ever happened to anyone.

Something else I had a question about.  This may just be me, but how can someone keep a charade going for months and even years.  There are good actresses out there, but there can't be that many good ones. Any thoughts?

[Gator]

Only goes to show your charm in being able to pull this off with a good woman.

It was never an issue.  I don't know why.  Maybe I attract the bad girls.     Seriously, I do like women with an adventurous spirit, especially for travel. 
 
Some women became hesitant, and this was a reason for me tio excuse myself.  The Sevastopol woman I mentioned above was hesitant, and look at what happened.

I met 8-9 RW who had to travel a long way to meet me.   Each  meeting was both a travel adventure and boy meets girl.  Although I never would recommend it, I even had blind dates in Spain and Cyprus. 

[Gator]

cm092,
 
Congratulations on taking a trip.   
 
May I suggest that you meet your UW in Kiev.  She could be traveling by train while you are flying to Kiev.  After a couple of days, assuming all goes well, you could travel to Vinnitsa and meet her family and friends. 

Adding a train ride to Vinnitsa after just arriving in Kiev can be weary.   If you do go to Vinnitsa, Jack could arrange a car and driver  to meet you.  I would guess that a car is twice as fast as the train.

If you are traveling by train by yourself, it can be tricky, especially if you must change trains.  The larger stations have an international traveler's window with English speaking staff.   For small stations, I wrote the name of my destination in Cyrillic and held it up to the standard window.  This resulted in finger pointing to another window where someone helped me, albeit with some difficulty.

[Muzh]

cm092:

 

I read your intro and sounds very promising.

May I suggest that instead of taking the taxi, take the bus to Vinnitsa. You can get a ticket right at the airport and it is around $20. Big Greyhound-type bus. Just make sure to let her know of the preparations on a regular basis.

I can believe her father being very conservative and that's the reason she is shy of introducing you to her parents. She is asking to be cautious and that's a good sign.

It is very normal to have you doubts before you go. She is willing to spend quality time with you so you get to know each other and see if there is a future.

Gator just from my experience most good women would not agree to spend 5 days with a man they had never met.   Ahhh man, believe me, I've tried  .   A few women would, but not the overwhelming majority.      Now, not so good of women, not an issue.

Only goes to show your charm in being able to pull this off with a good woman.

I know Jack would never say my wife is not a good woman because she met me at the airport and we stayed together for the whole 4 weeks I was there for the first time.  But he is right and she can be an exception because of your "charms." Bottom line, don't think much about it.

Hope it works for you. IF it would not work, it is not the end of the world. It means you'll have to go back to the drawing board.

Good Luck and keep us posted.

[GoodOlBoy]

Welcome to RWD cm092... 
 
I read your very detailed and heartfelt intro last night and then again this morning.
 
IMHO, you are entering this situation with an "ALL IN" attitude (same as I did over 8 years ago).
 
Sorry to say this, but she is NOT.
 
There are several Red Flags.... refusal to exchange personal info.... new glamor photo shots.... etc.
 
Continue to read RWD (TR section) and pay particular attention to some of the older posts concerning "train wrecks".
 
Whatever happens, good or bad, please come back and post a TR.
 
I wish you only the best, seriously.
 
GOB

[Patagonie]

I know this is a lot of information, but after I started it I could not stop!  Any further information or guidance is very much appreciated, Thanks!!

I was searching on the web to find some information about RW/UW, I cannot believe that I have not found this site before.  I have been combing this site for several days and found a lot of really good information.  So, I thought that I would post my situation and see what someone or anyone thinks.

I have been on a dating site for about nine months, I know it is a long time before really finding out more information, but everyone is a little stupid sometimes.  Anyway, I have been communicating with a woman from ukraine for about 6 months, she is from Vinnitsa.  A little background of our current relationship: we have communicated many times, usually on the weekend, as the time difference is eight hours.  I know that she is real, I have sent her flowers and received a current photo of her and we have had video chats before.  She does seem to be a little shy, at least she says this a lot. She speak very little english, but she is a teacher, and I remember her saying that she taught some children english.  Well, she does say that she does not know if she is any good at english because she never gets a chance to speak it with anyone who is fluent in the language.  A  little more information about her, she is not one of these 'playboy' models which are on many of the dating sites.  But, she is beautiful and I really like her.  No one here may believe this, but I actually find her personality and mind more attractive than her outside appearance.  I will make the point, 'she is not ugly', she is gorgeous and looks amazing!  We have talked about many different things and I feel that there is nothing we cannot talk about with each other.  She is 25 if that matters at all.  (And I am 27, so age is not a problem at all)  I started out looking at these younger women on the sites, but while I was talking to one of them and reading her messages to me, I realized that most of the younger women (<24 or 25) on the site are looking for a good time.  I do not mean sex, well maybe some of them, but just to party all the time and that kind of thing. 

Back to her, we have sent many photos to each other.  She had some photos done a few weeks ago, for free she tells me, and had sent me some of them.  But, she has also put these photos on the site, which may or may not be a good thing.  She does know what I look and I am someone that thinks honesty is best policy.  I have never lied to her about anything and I never want to. 

I am currently planning a trip to see her at the end of march, I have not gone to see her before, due to things at my work and the winter there.  I have not gotten her phone or email, I asked her about it before and she did not want to, for fear of being removed from the site.  And she says that we should meet first and then if things go well, we would swap our information.  If we both agree that things went well between us, I will definitely make sure to get all of her contact information and give her mine as well.

She seems to be very sincere in helping me with the trip.   I told her that I would be getting an apartment there, so I was giving her addresses of the places and she was telling which was the best place to stay and being very helpful.  She did not give a specific apartment or anything like that, just telling me where they were.

She has also told me that we should spend at least five days together for this trip.  She has already asked for the time off at her work for my visit (she is a preschool teacher and does tutoring on the side).  She said that it would not be a problem for her to take time off of work.  She has said that she does not want me to meet her parents for my first trip, she says they are very conservative, especially her father.  I ask her if she has told her family about me or if they know she is looking for a foreign man and she says that she told her mother (and she supports her in her decision and just wants her to be happy), but has not told her father (due to his conservativeness).  She has told me things about her family, her grandmother was recently in the hospital, but it was nothing serious.

 I told her I was going to take a train from kiev to vinnitsa, so she was giving me tons of information on what to do and what not to do when finding a taxi and getting to the train and while on the train.  Mainly just normal things not to do with strange people, but still good information.  After all of this she suggests for me to use a taxi to get to vinnitsa, as it can be very dangerous for a foreigner to ride the train there, especially for a first timer.  And that she would be very worried about me, if I were to take a train to vinnitsa.  She then suggested that I get a taxi to go from the Borispol airpot to vinnitsa, she told me it should not be more than $200.  I was a little hesitant to this.  She also says that not to take a private car, but make sure you take a taxi, and proceeds to describe what the taxi looks like for me.  After we talk about this for a little while, she says that she would take a taxi from vinnitsa and meet me at the airport.  I was a little shocked that she suggested this and it kind of made me feel better about where we might be going in our relationship.  This is where I am at right now and we are going to talk again, with more details about my trip to visit her.

My schedule for my visit is to arrive in kiev on a saturday, travel to vinnitsa on the same day.  Then spend the week with her, she is going to take me around the city.  Then I would leave on the next saturday morning.

She has never asked me for money!  And she told me something that was a little eye opening.  That she would never want to depend on a man for finances, she would want to make her own  money.  And, I am one that, if one day I do marry a RW/UW, I would definitely want her to work. 

This is just some of my experience.  This is all from memory, and as I was writing this, I kept thinking of other things to include.  I just wanted to get some advice on how anyone thinks I am doing with her or just any advice in general.   I think it is good to get someone's opinion on this, especially those who have gone through similar situations.

Thanks for any help

About this one i'm so so.
She is too shy to give you any phone number or email ?
But she want to take five days off ?

She says that train is really dangerous ?
BS, trains are really safe. Just three hours (4 ?) to travel from  Kiev to Vinnitsa.
Anyway if it's a scam you need to check these :

1/ you are on a site per letter paid, it can be a terp who writes you and she will vanish in the sky just before your travel.
GET her adress, pay for it and GET this damned information, for your security (how can you join her if you have a delay due to the plane or a problem in the airport ?????)

2/ If at a moment she asks you to send her in advance money for the taxi, you are done, 100 % scam.

If none of both, continue. Know that if you get her adress, you need perhaps three or four weeks to have the letter be delivered.

Good luck, but you have to dig about this relation.

Funny GOB feels the same.

[SMS60]

As someone ask above. What website or agency are you using?

[cm092]

I might get torn apart by the masses here for this, but the site is anastasia.  After I had gotten onto it, I started to look it up.  Well, I should have done this before I got on there.  I know most of the terrible things that people have said about it.  The money really does not bother me that much, I can always make more of it.  It is the principle of the possibility (or reality) of basically getting jacked in broad daylight and me standing there saying, thanks for robbing me, is there anyone else that wants some.  Maybe I am just foolish, looking for something wonderful in the wrong place. 

If there are 25000+ or so women on there, can all of them really be just out for money.  Probably most of them are, I am not stupid, but hey people do stupid things all the time, and it looks like I am no exception.

And maybe it is foolish of me for thinking that the couple of women I was communicating with on there were actually sincere on their end. 

Now, it looks like I wish I had found RWD sooner rather than later.

[Jack]

cm092, I have an old saying, and something taught in Russian/Ukraine Women Chapter 12,  advanced class of course,   "nothing funner than to scam a scammer".     Enjoy those five days together.

[Hammer2722]

I hate to say this cm092, but the odds of this be a sincere lady are pretty slim indeed just because you met her on Anastasia. I spent over a year communicating and meeting ladies there. A complete waste of money!!!!!!!! There are real ladies there but most are just paid employees or pro-daters. If you are serious about meeting her then I recommend you have a backup plan in case this lady is a no show or turns out to be a pro-dater. If she is serious about meeting you and establishing a relationship, tell her to meet you at the airport and you will pay for her expenses after you have met. Do not send any money before-hand.
 
You should definitely educate your self on the various costs of transportation before you get there. Ask lots of questions here on this forum. Its free!!!!!!!!! Good luck and I hope this one is for real. Last but not at all least, get the hell off Anastasia NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Unless of course you like throwing your hard earned money away.......

[Muzh]

Hogwash.

cm092, go and have fun. If she is meant for you, you'll know. If not, still go and have fun.

[LAman]

CM....before you are fonder for the wolves here......here are some thoughts for you IF you want to see this to the end!!! Your call....
I do have some expereience with anastasia( many have no idea of the workings) and would not recommend the site for someone who is new to this, if fact, I would not recommend any site.........or this journey.....
But since you picked a girl with little to no english skills this makes things more difficult. This girl is wrong telling you she cannot give any contact info, either she is misinformed or she does not want to give. You could have given your contact info in your flower delivery or could have exchanged contact info on a phone call through site. If she likes you.you could have sneeked in your email through chat and explained about wanting to send photos to each other. Also through letters  you should have gotten her postal address which you could have sent her flowers( with contact info) through a separate flower delivery service and maybe could have gotten girls phone number............BTW, 6 months is way too long.....
I do agree with guys here about getting contact info early....

[Kineo]

First of all:
  to the forum!
 
I commend you for starting to read the posts here. There is a lot of great information and personal experience (both good and bad) here. But I think this reading has raised your concern level for good reason.
 
When I read your OP I saw some issues. Each issue alone I would not have thought was even close to a show stopper. But added together they would concern me. I think the news of the site you have been using for all this time is huge. I will not say whether this woman is legit or not, because I have no way of knowing. My opinion would be she has not given you much information to judge this by. But if I were me I would need to have significant reassurances or I would not waste my time. So things that would come to my mind would be:
- An email address off from the site to communicate through. She can set one up on rambler.ru if does not have one she wants to use.
- Her cell phone number and exchange SMS messages.
- Personally I would can the taxi idea. She can take the train and then if she is still serious she can be your guide for the train back.
- I would be interested in photos of her with her family.
 
Just my 2 cents -K
 

[Gator]

cm092,

In my first response to you, I suggested that you meet your woman in Kiev and not travel to Vinnitsa.  I suggested that not knowing the woman's agency is Anastasia (although I should have surmised such based on clues you gave in your OP).

With the knowledge that she is an Anastasia UW who is not bypassing the Anastasia filters, it would be very BAD to go to Vinnitsa.  Here is the typical outcome:  overpriced apartment, fulltime expensive interpreter, overpriced car ride from Kiev, shopping rather than touring, expensive restaurant (including paying for the terp), etc. 
 

I suggest that you make your trip but stay in Kiev.

If this woman is sincere she will meet you in Kiev. 

If this woman is sincere she will ride the slow train or the bus and not spend a large amount of money for the travel.

If this woman is sincere she will stay with you in an apartment provided there is a separate BR for her and you make that clear from the outset.

If this woman is sincere she will want to show you her lively capital city (there is so much more to see and do in Kiev than in Vinnitsa).
 
If she insists that you go to Vinnitsa, I believe you are being set up to be fleeced of many dollars.  Ignoring the Anastasia factor, there is absolutely no reason to go to Vinnitsa if she does not intend to introduce you to her parents.  Another factor, given your limited week for the trip, there is no need to add a tiring trip to Vinnitsa.
 
In summary, young man, go to Ukraine but stay in Kiev and enjoy yourself!
 

[ML]

I concur totally with Gator's last post.

[cm092]

Update.

My girl has decided to remove herself from anastasia and has given me all of her contact information.  We are now communicating exclusively off of the site.  She says her reason for leaving the site that she has no more desire to seek a husband through the site and she believes in our relationship and does not want to communicate with other men.  She tells me that she did not want me spending any more money on the site communicating with her.  I contacted her through vk.com and she responded back to me rather quickly and gave me all of her information.

[Faux Pas]

Update.

My girl has decided to remove herself from anastasia and has given me all of her contact information.  We are now communicating exclusively off of the site.  She says her reason for leaving the site that she has no more desire to seek a husband through the site and she believes in our relationship and does not want to communicate with other men.  She tells me that she did not want me spending any more money on the site communicating with her.  I contacted her through vk.com and she responded back to me rather quickly and gave me all of her information.

Congrats and that's a good start. It's probably a little early to be claiming victory. For reference, this is the top of the first inning, the team is on the field and you're not in the line up yet. Now is the time to get to know her from ground zero.