Divorced RW experience of dating in the US.

[Vasilisa]

Vasilisa! I am very confident that NONE of the posters on here would even dream of treating you without underlying respect, I'm so sorry that you seem to have hard feelings about some peaceful "fireworks" illuminated this great thread.
You have been a unique «reporter», with some sort of  date experiences under your belt!!!
I hope that ''lock the thread'' is not code for "I am likely to never get back to post on RWD»?
I will miss you. And the feeling of missing you will no doubt be echoed by many other  RWD members.
 

Oh, thank you, yes, right now I am dying to post something else so people could make up funny dialogues of the conversations of me with my dates, tell me what I need to look for and explain me that I have a bright imagination and fragile ego and this type of a person they would avoid.

I just don't understand why people have so much interest in such a miserable and pathetic person that knows nothing about men, and her personal life that they simply  can't leave her alone and it's me who has  to block them both on my phone and online. This part I can't understand.

[GQBlues]

Oh, thank you, yes, right now I am dying to post something else so people could make up funny dialogues of the conversations of me with my dates, tell me what I need to look for and explain me that I have a bright imagination and fragile ego and this type of a person they would avoid.

I just don't understand why people have so much interest in such a miserable and pathetic person that knows nothing about men, and her personal life that they simply  can't leave her alone and it's me who has  to block them both on my phone and online. This part I can't understand.

I know!!! These men, I'm telling yah....!

You know, if I were you, to shut these guys up, I wouldn't post another 'word' on this thread at least for a week or so. Uh-uh-uh! No sireeee,man!

Instead post your pictures...lot's of them!

What do you think? Good idea? 

[Muzh]

I know!!! These men, I'm telling yah....!

You know, if I were you, to shut these guys up, I wouldn't post another 'word' on this thread at least for a week or so. Uh-uh-uh! No sireeee,man!

Instead post your pictures...lot's of them!

What do you think? Good idea? 

Absolutely, let's see God's gift to these American losers.
 
Oh boy, can't hardly wait. 

[Gator]

Vasilisa,
 
Except for the few early morning posts, I missed yesterday's dialogue.  Although you deleted your posts, much was captured and retained when others quoted you.  Thus, I can guess about what happened, but I could easily be wrong.
 
RWD is a disparate group of people each with a different opinion.  In addition, few write with the elongated caveats associated with diplomacy.  So yes, it could seem that many people who don't know you have the gall to  assert who you are.    You know who you are, so it seems like insanity to you.   In addition, my Cossack Woman and my ex-wife each told me that proper Russians don't stick their nose into other peoples' lives.  And what do we have here? Exactly that (on the surface)!
 
Please recognize that you are interesting and you have interesting material to share.  While you call it "entertainment," most here probably don't see it that way.  Your posts are interesting, not entertaining, and certainly not amusing.   Although I admit the reactions of you and others is entertaining (please pardon my twisted mind), the substance of what you say is not entertainment. 
 
IMO it seems that many posts responded in ways to help you.  We have read of your disappointments and frustrations, we empathize,  and we want to help you succeed in finding true love with a good man.   
 
Personally I believe you will succeed.  That is why I hope you will continue to post.   Your continuing chronicles will document the tortuous path you took, especially the cultural conflicts encountered along the way.  So I suggest that you think about it.  Hopefully you will return and discuss what is not just a very refreshing story, but a remarkably unique one. 
 
There is something else to keep in mind.  These AM whom you are dating are substantively the same men who read RWD and plan to go to the FSU and date RW there.  They too can benefit, by learning something about the Russian soul as exemplified by you.   Maybe your distant RW cousins in the FSU will benefit by meeting a more sophisticated man.
 
 
 
 

[vwrw]

Well said Gator, and so true!

[Anotherkiwi]

At the risk of alienating Vasilisa even further, I would reiterate a point I made a few days ago (to which, interestingly enough, nobody replied or commented on) that certain RW/UW posters (not just Vasilisa) don't quite have the comprehension skills to always totally understand what some of the men here are trying to express, possibly because the men also cannot express themselves well enough for such a poster to understand exactly what the man means. 
 
Apart from Calmissile who, after what I considered was plenty of provocation, told her basically to go back to Russia, there has not been one person here who has tried to be anything other than supportive or constructive in their comments - at least until that support has been thrown back in their faces. 
 
Part of our problem is that we are only seeing part of the story.  I'm with Gator on this one - I, too, saw all these deleted posts yesterday and wondered what on earth was going on.  Some I've been able to reconstruct because of the quotes included in other posts, but it is all disjointed and now nonsensical.  Later posts have fleshed out some of what must have gone on, and at least now I have some idea where the discussion about World War II came from.  However, from the readers' point of view, it would have been so much simpler if Vasilisa had posted that at the start, as part of the description in the initial post.  Most of the subsequent argy-bargy would then never have happened! 
 
Vasilisa - if you're going to post your experiences of dating on here, you must expect to get comments in return.  We've all had "dates from hell," some an awful lot worse that you've described so far - don't beat yourself up about it, just move on!  You will eventually find the guy who is right for you, as so many of the women on here have already.  I can't see how you could possibly end up with someone like your ex-husband in future - we would all hope that there cannot be two people like him in the whole world!
 
Just to make this crystal clear - we are ALL on your side!  We want you to succeed, sooner rather than later, but please - take time to THINK about what people are saying rather than just jumping straight onto your keyboard to hit an impassioned response that doesn't do anything to advance your cause.
 
I'll close here with the line that I use when I'm not interested romantically in a lady who has emailed me -
 
"You're not the woman I'm looking for, but I wish you the best of luck in your search for true love and happiness."
 
I mean it - I want everyone to be happy in love. 

[missAmeno]

... that certain RW/UW posters (not just Vasilisa) don't quite have the comprehension skills to always totally understand what some of the men here are trying to express...

You wish 

... possibly because the men also cannot express themselves well enough for such a poster to understand exactly what the man means...

I have impression that more often men here unable to understand each other 

[Anotherkiwi]

...I have impression that more often men here unable to understand each other 

Sadly, this is also true! 
 
But again, sometimes it is because the original poster is just not clear enough in the way he words his thoughts.

[Vasilisa]

RWD is a disparate group of people each with a different opinion.  In addition, few write with the elongated caveats associated with diplomacy.  So yes, it could seem that many people who don't know you have the gall to  assert who you are.    You know who you are, so it seems like insanity to you.   

Gator  I understand that. I know that people are trying to give me a advice to help me find the man, but each person is different and the advice given is coming from his preferences and his life experience. When I see that this or that person is very different from what I am and his preferences are different and what he is looking for is different and he is appreciating different qualities I can't say that I agree with him and I need his advice.
 From what I understood so far there are very few people here whose opinion is actually important to me.

What I can't t tolerate though is when the person to whom I explaining that I don't need his advice as we are on different waves obviously keeps coming over and over telling me that he as had a girl friend like me in the past and was happy to get rid of her because it was terrible   keeps coming over and over again and I can't get rid of him instead.

To me it reminds of the following example:
On a cooking forum I am starting a cooking thread about how to make dishes of black caviar.
There is a bunch of people around who keep telling me that black caviar is disusting and they have tried it once, it was over priced and not tasty at all and I should try lobsters instead and  call me old fashioned and insane because I want black caviar. There is a couple of people who are actually giving me an advice on how to cook it but the rest is making fun of caviar flavor, my preferences and sigh that they have given up on me.

When I explain that I am not going to post recipes anymore they tell me that I have a fragile ego and they'd like to hear moro better see the pictures of my caviar dishes.


Guess what?! I will probably go to the place where they all like black caviar like a black caviar forum and keep sharing my recipes with the people who enjoy black caviar as much as I do too.

[Vasilisa]

Anotherkiwi, I am not alienating, I am just not going to post the stories here. It doesn't mean I am not going to share the details with the people whose opinion I apprecite though. 

[OlgaH]

This and any thread, other than in that one sans response thread that Boethius mentioned, was and is open for every member to post.  That's how a discussion forum works.

Agree, Dave, and people posting their personal life "documentary" for public to read probably should expect that the discussion forum is different than " psychological meetings and trainings of different kinds, when unknown people have to share very personal details and thoughts in front of unknown people..."

[Anotherkiwi]

...To me it reminds of the following example:
On a cooking forum I am starting a cooking thread about how to make dishes of black caviar.
There is a bunch of people around who keep telling me that black caviar is disusting and they have tried it once, it was over priced and not tasty at all and I should try lobsters instead and  call me old fashioned and insane because I want black caviar.
...
Guess what?! I will probably go to the place where they all like black caviar like a black caviar forum and keep sharing my recipes with the people who enjoy black caviar as much as I do too.

 
I like black caviar...but there's more than one kind...
    Today in Adelaide (South Australia), the world's best sprinting racehorse, Black Caviar, won her 21st consecutive race - she has never been beaten.  For those of you who are interested in racing, this horse sends shivers up your spine.  Although today's opposition was not nearly as strong as some she has beaten in the past, the way she won was just arrogance personified (horsified? ).  Sat outside the leader, went clear around the home turn, and just walked home with every other runner really hard at work behind her.  The jockey said in the post-race interview that she was never out of second gear - it looked more like she had hardly got out of first!
 
Unlike a lot of other champion racehorses her temperament matches her ability.  At home in the stables she is the proverbial pussycat - she has the most incredible gentle nature, and absolutely nothing worries her.  I have a very tenuous connection with her - the trainer's wife is a New Zealander who used to be a jockey here, and was the regular rider of a horse I part-owned.  I just wish she had let me know when this marvel came up for sale! 
 
Here's the Friday night news preview:
 

 
And here's the race:
 

 
To give you some idea of her popularity, the racecourse was sold out both today and two weeks ago when she had her previous start (these are the only two runs she has had in Adelaide - she's trained in Melbourne).  This just doesn't happen - anywhere.  Today was quite probably her last start in Australia - she's off to England in three weeks to run in the Golden Jubilee Stakes at Royal Ascot on 23rd June.
 
Just out of curiosity, are there any FSUW on here who are interested in racing, or have been to the races (either gallops or trots)?  I went to the races in Rostov on my second trip, and could have gone to the trots in Kyiv, and also visited the wonderful new Ippodrom in Kazan on my first trip.

[Vasilisa]

I have been many times.

[Krassie]

Is that horse racing in your country like Kentucky Derby in the US?
Black Caviar is an amazing horse.  Thanks for the video. It was a great pleasure to watch it.

[Gator]

Vasilisa,
Only you know what is best for you.

[Gator]

Just out of curiosity, are there any FSUW on here who are interested in racing, or have been to the races (either gallops or trots)?  I went to the races in Rostov on my second trip, and could have gone to the trots in Kyiv, and also visited the wonderful new Ippodrom in Kazan on my first trip.

I learn something every day.   I did not know there were horse tracks in the FSU.  There is only one good golf course in Russia.
 
BTW, Lily is a rider.
 
I once met Kelso.  From Wiki:  In the list of the top 100 U.S. thoroughbred champions of the 20th Century by The Blood-Horse magazine Kelso ranks 4th, behind only Man o' War (1st), Secretariat (2nd) and Citation (3rd).
 
His owner offered the opprtunity to take him for a ride around the pasture, saying he was gelded and gave an easy ride.   Gelded?  The 4th best horse ever? The owner, a woman, had lots of money needless to say.  The ride, I declined as I am not very skilled at riding.

[Gator]

Is that horse racing in your country like Kentucky Derby in the US?

The Royal Meeting at Ascot in June where Black Caviar is headed is perhaps even more important than the Derby.   There are several days of racing and I do not know the best.

[newjason]

Hi Vasilisa.

I have been away for a few days and I read your thread and over the last couple days it seems like there are a lot of people who think they know what is best for you.
Honestly I am a little shocked at the comments you get.
Obviously you are a confident, intelligent, outspoken woman, who knows what she wan't and knows what she does not want.
Personally I find your comments concise and to the point and easy to understand.
While I do not always agree with your views, I find your attitude and personality quite refreshing.

You talking about WWII on a first date seems perfectly awesome in my opinion.  You have a broad range of knowledge and interests that are beyond average.  That makes you special.  I would have not only discussed WWII with you , but I would then ask about your views on
Первая мировая война.
   Григорий Распутин.
Тогда я спрашиваю о Баба Яга, и ее дом.

Если вы заплакали. Я бы сказал,
Не плачь, маленькая Василиса. Горе худших в ночное время. Лягте, закройте глаза твои, утешать себя и идти спать.Утро вечера мудренее.

Вы никогда не знаете, кто вас удивит.

[Muzh]

Hey Jason, wipe your nose. 

[JohnDearGreen]

I just don't understand why people have so much interest in such a miserable and pathetic person that knows nothing about men, and her personal life that they simply  can't leave her alone and it's me who has  to block them both on my phone and online. This part I can't understand.

Maybe just work on your delivery a slight bit.  Instead of (a), try (b). 
a) Don't say "My husband was a damn mama's boy and it ruined our marriage.".  Makes it sound like it was 100% his fault which is usually not the case.  And generates a slight lack of credibility in future posts.
b) Leave the swords and skeletons in the closet and instead say something like "My husband did this... and that...   Don't you think maybe he was being a mama's boy?"  Then the AM will respond and say "Yes, your husband was a damn mama's boy and it ruined your marriage".

[Vasilisa]

.
Honestly I am a little shocked at the comments you get.
Obviously you are a confident, intelligent, outspoken woman, who knows what she wan't and knows what she does not want.

Thanks, Jason.
As I said, the conclusion I made is if you are in the US and date the locals  go to the website where they discuss American dating, not RW in FSU dating. The subcategories on interests, principles  and moral values are also important. 

[Vasilisa]

Maybe just work on your delivery a slight bit.  Instead of (a), try (b). 
a) Don't say "My husband was a damn mama's boy and it ruined our marriage.".  Makes it sound like it was 100% his fault which is usually not the case.  And generates a slight lack of credibility in future posts.
b) Leave the swords and skeletons in the closet and instead say something like "My husband did this... and that...   Don't you think maybe he was being a mama's boy?"  Then the AM will respond and say "Yes, your husband was a damn mama's boy and it ruined your marriage".

John, I have no clue what you are talking about and how this example is connected with this thread but you obviously wish me the best, so thank you anyway.

PS: I don't blame my ex, I was the main idiot who fell in love, left my family, friends, job and country behind, believed him and followed him and played nicely and acted like a civilized person when I was beaten up. So it was my fault, too. Not going to happen anymore. Aggressive lawyers from the very first day and playing hard. When in Rome do as Romans do.

[Anotherkiwi]

Is that horse racing in your country like Kentucky Derby in the US?

Racing is like this all around the world, although of course the standard varies from one country to another.  Russian racing was quite strong 150 years ago, but not now.  In time, as the economy builds, and the industry recovers, the standard will hopefully lift.  I have to say that the horses I saw in Rostov were very poor quality - that didn't stop the racing being exciting, or the crowd enjoying themselves.  Russian and Ukranian trotting, however, is at a higher level due to the Orlov influence.

I'll put other responses and comments into a new thread - this topic is too important to the lady concerned for us all to be side-tracked. 

[Fashionista]

Тогда я спрашиваю о Баба Яга, и ее дом.

Sorry Jason, Баба Яга will not get you into the "cultured man" category. Study Jackie's and Coco's biographies instead.

[Fashionista]

Fashionista, last year I had several dates with one man. The guy was financially stable, good job, etc. But full of weird "details". One time he mentioned he had a really serious relationship with the woman who had a kid from her previous marriage, they had been dating for 4 years and when he explained why they broke up I was shocked: he said: I asked her if she wanted to have kids and she explained that she had a kid and she didn't want to have more.

Now I have a question: what had they been doing for 4 years' time that he didn't realize that she didn't want to have more kids with him which were of such huge importance to him?! Discussed strawberries in the salad?!

Ahem, you didn't expect him to spend another 4 years to explain to you how he arrived to this decision? Maybe it wasn't even his decision  . So, he chose a shortcut, one sentence long, while hinting to you what he wants. Very much to the point  .

I would do charity, enjoy life, too, but I would  definitely go to a really prestigeous University like Harvard or Oxford to be able to meet intelligent people and learn from them. He said that for him one college is enough.

I doubt a person can get into Ivy League on the desire to meet intelligent people and learn from them alone. Money or not, I heard they could be very picky. Somebody I know, with excellent credentials, tried, and the answer to her was - "not Harvard material" . The good part is - you don't have to go to Harvard to meet intelligent people and learn from them.

But hey, if the date didn't work, it didn't work, you don't owe an explanation to anyone.