From Ukraine with Love

[noelscot]

Your problems with K seemed to revolve around the apartment issue.   1 apt w/2 BR, or 2 apts w/1 BR.  Didn't you discuss this with K previously?   2nd, an attractive lady, even in FSU, will have local men friends and/or boyfriends.  She seemed to be honest about it.  But if she had a separate apt. the male friend issue might not have occurred.  Don't ask, don't tell, or do you plan to ask the other ladies about their current male friends?

It always surprised me how the UW would almost always be willing to stay in my apt without even having met me....but I usually paid a terp to call them and thoroughly brainwash them before the meeting.  Maybe have your Val guy call the ladies to check and see if they have any last minute concerns.

You're right.

[noelscot]

Hey Noel.....seemed with all that russian words in 'english alphabet' (many which I did not understand),  I figured you knew the cyrillic alphabet enough to read street names by them sounding out........that is how I became familiar to where I was.....
 
also just a thought......do you think K was on a WMVM trip and you were on a WOVO trip? makes you wonder who arranged the itinerary here.......maybe suggesting meet in kiev ( she also had another meeting) with you and there was really no brother involved......think about it.....

This is gonna sound like I have Stockholm syndrome, but here is how it all went down. We started corresponding in January, but it was not like other correspondence I have had. It was mutual interest. So eventually we decided a meeting would be great. I told her I would fly in to Kyiv. She volunteered to meet me at Borispol and arrange a seperate apartment for me in Kyiv and Odessa. In the back of my mind, I thought, "What if it goes wrong and I'm over there in a foreign country with no place to stay?" I told her thank you very much for offering to help me, but I will arrange my own apartment. This sort of hurt her feelings I think, and she later said that she never would have come to Kiev if she'd known I was going to arrange everything. I tried to be as much of a gentleman as possible. I offered to have a Taxi pick her up at the train station and told her she was welcome to shower, rest, do whatever she needed in my apartment, but she told me "No, we do not know each other." So, I told her ok, I will call you when I am at my apartment. In her defense, she's bent over backwards to try to be with me, and I think maybe I really hurt her feelings by not letting her arrange my lodging, etc. Just from what I've heard from successful WOVO guys at work, meeting the family, staying in a spare bedroom, etc. is a good sign. She was always flighty about meeting her family, and I think I should have corresponded with her longer before coming over here. It's a learning experience. Apparently, both K and I have trust issues.   

[Faux Pas]

You really should quit beating yourself up over this woman and move on. She's not serious and an apparent ulterior motive. Keep in mind she also communicated with you since January. Unless you "are" just a sure enough whack job with serious anger management issues, she was using you for a trip to Kiev and the other places. You've given her convenient excuses.

If she was honest she knew, there may not be any physical chemistry but, her reaction to your insistence on securing your own apartment is odd and nefarious. Munchausen by proxy perhaps. She used you. Forget her and salvage your time.

[noelscot]

You really should quit beating yourself up over this woman and move on. She's not serious and an apparent ulterior motive. Keep in mind she also communicated with you since January. Unless you "are" just a sure enough whack job with serious anger management issues, she was using you for a trip to Kiev and the other places. You've given her convenient excuses.

If she was honest she knew, there may not be any physical chemistry but, her reaction to your insistence on securing your own apartment is odd and nefarious. Munchausen by proxy perhaps. She used you. Forget her and salvage your time.

This is how I feel about things, too, but K never asked me to pay for her lodging, train tickets, etc. She's not a bad person or a user. We just were not meant to be. I have my demerits and am going to work on them when I return to the USA. In the meantime, I'm going to follow the wise advice of those who've gone before me and salvage my trip. 

[SteveOR]

This is how I feel about things, too, but K never asked me to pay for her lodging, train tickets, etc. She's not a bad person or a user. We just were not meant to be. I have my demerits and am going to work on them when I return to the USA. In the meantime, I'm going to follow the wise advice of those who've gone before me and salvage my trip.

Noel, You're there and we're not, but from afar I would disagree with this.  It sure sounds like K and her boyfriend Anton were out to take as much as they could from the "Rich American".  They lost money because they couldn't rent you an apartment at an inflated cost or they lost the opportunity to play the "that apartment isn't available but here's a nicer one at a a higher price" game.  As hard and disrespectfully as they tried to get you drinking and maybe getting you to loosen your wallet or worse setting you up to be rolled I just can't picture these two as nice people.  I'm sure that they were setting you up for much more.  IMHO, and as hard as it is to you, you've done the right thing by "running and not walking".
 
Unlike you, I do drink alcohol.  However when I was there about the only time I drank anything was for toasts at Jack's parties.  When meeting a lady I always drank tea.  Only one of the ladies that I met even mentioned that it was OK for me to have a drink with dinner if I wanted.  It was a nice gesture on her part but she sure didn't mind that I stuck to tea.  Alcohol is a problem in Ukraine and I think that the ladies are impressed with a man who doesn't drink or drinks only a little.
 
As Faux Pas said, "You really should quit beating yourself up".  You're a stranger in a strange land where the signs are incomprehensible, most people don't speak your language, the culture is different and the day starts a painful 10 hours before it should.  You're doing the right thing by meeting other ladies instead of giving up.  Keep your head screwed on straight, don't run out of Imodium and you'll do just fine . . .
 

[Gator]

Noelscot,
 
I admire your ability to grasp and accept that a relationship is not in the cards.  Many men will travel a long way up a river named de Nile.  So pat yourself on the back.
 
I hope the rest of your trip goes better.  At least you have immersed youself into the FSU culture and your eyes are open to the realm of possibilities.  I enjoy reading your snips of life there.  You have good insights.  You have promise.

Who knows if K and her "friend" were out to scam you or they were just being hospitable to make sure you enjoyed your trip even though she did not have any passion for you.  It does not matter.  The key point is that you focused on one woman who did not want to go to the next level with you.


You seem to recognize and accept reality well and deal with it.  Thus, I will say something which is just my impression but could be wrong.  You come across to me as an eccentric man.   You have some anxiety about health.  You are very tall and very thin.  You do not drink alcohol, as in not a drop.   This eccentricity may be the reason that K was not interested in you.  Not until she met you did she comprehend your difference from the UM who have trained her about men and dating.
 
There are eccentric FSUW.  Believe me, I have met them and enjoyed some of them.   You just need to do more homework next time. 
 

 
Next time be sure to communicate much more with a FSUW before you commit to meeting her.  Skype is wonderful.. You can discover much about compatibility.  You can raise issues that could be a problem just to find out her reaction.

The sleeping arrangement was a big red flag.  I met only one woman who would not share an apartment.  One even volunteered to share a king bed  because she said the trusted me to behave politely (choices were limited and she had never slept in one - she was a lot of fun).   I don't know the age of K but the difference could be that the women I dated were mostly in their 30s and 40s and did not want to waste limited time.  A younger UW may be more shy about such matters.

[noelscot]

Noel, You're there and we're not, but from afar I would disagree with this.  It sure sounds like K and her boyfriend Anton were out to take as much as they could from the "Rich American".  They lost money because they couldn't rent you an apartment at an inflated cost or they lost the opportunity to play the "that apartment isn't available but here's a nicer one at a a higher price" game.  As hard and disrespectfully as they tried to get you drinking and maybe getting you to loosen your wallet or worse setting you up to be rolled I just can't picture these two as nice people.  I'm sure that they were setting you up for much more.  IMHO, and as hard as it is to you, you've done the right thing by "running and not walking".
 
Unlike you, I do drink alcohol.  However when I was there about the only time I drank anything was for toasts at Jack's parties.  When meeting a lady I always drank tea.  Only one of the ladies that I met even mentioned that it was OK for me to have a drink with dinner if I wanted.  It was a nice gesture on her part but she sure didn't mind that I stuck to tea.  Alcohol is a problem in Ukraine and I think that the ladies are impressed with a man who doesn't drink or drinks only a little.
 
As Faux Pas said, "You really should quit beating yourself up".  You're a stranger in a strange land where the signs are incomprehensible, most people don't speak your language, the culture is different and the day starts a painful 10 hours before it should.  You're doing the right thing by meeting other ladies instead of giving up.  Keep your head screwed on straight, don't run out of Imodium and you'll do just fine . . .

Oh, I have Immodium. You can bet your you know what. Did I mention that this girl wanted me to take her on a vacation to India, and Anton asked me if I wanted to go to Russia? "Did I have a visa? etc." She's been there before for a student exchange program (I've seen the photos), and wants to go back. We were eating at Kofe Time across from orange revolution in Kyiv and she said she wanted us to go to India with the rest of my vacation days for the year. I looked at her like, "INDIA?!" She kept a straight face the whole time. I swear to God. "Yes, India. Let's go!" she said. I sat there perplexed, and told her flat out, "No, I am not a rich man. I do not have the money to be taking you to India of all places." Oddly enough, she took hundreds of pictures of me when we were going to the caves in Kyiv and in Odessa, but she would not allow me to photograph her. When we were walkiing to the caves, one of those pigeon guys rushed us and wanted to take some photos of us with the doves, and that is the single, one and only picture that there is of us together. She told me to pay the man 10 hrivna, and, boy, was he pissed. He had done a really good job of taking our pictures and was a good man. 10 hrivna won't buy hardly anything here. I never put it together then that maybe she didn't want my money going to someone else. Maybe 2+2=4 sometimes?
Anyway, your words of wisdom help. I got a good laugh at myself and have grown from the whole experience. Plus, there is a Catholic Church right down Gavannaya st. (St. Pete's), and I'll go there tomorrow to knock any remaining cobwebs out of my head and talk to God. I still have plenty of time here, and meetings planned. I'll see an opera tomorrow and go to the mall, etc. Maybe do some clothes shopping. The tea over here is simply phenomenal. I like tea-drinking cultures. I'm gonna bring back as much as I can for one of my female co-workers, who loves tea, then some Nemiroff horilka for my friends--I think 1 liter is the limit, so four 250mL bottles or two 500mL. I'll get my mom and dad something too. Any souveniri ideas are appreciated.

[noelscot]

Noelscot,
 
I admire your ability to grasp and accept that a relationship is not in the cards.  Many men will travel a long way up a river named de Nile.  So pat yourself on the back.
 
I hope the rest of your trip goes better.  At least you have immersed youself into the FSU culture and your eyes are open to the realm of possibilities.  I enjoy reading your snips of life there.  You have good insights.  You have promise.

Who knows if K and her "friend" were out to scam you or they were just being hospitable to make sure you enjoyed your trip even though she did not have any passion for you.  It does not matter.  The key point is that you focused on one woman who did not want to go to the next level with you.


You seem to recognize and accept reality well and deal with it.  Thus, I will say something which is just my impression but could be wrong.  You come across to me as an eccentric man.   You have some anxiety about health.  You are very tall and very thin.  You do not drink alcohol, as in not a drop.   This eccentricity may be the reason that K was not interested in you.  Not until she met you did she comprehend your difference from the UM who have trained her about men and dating.
 
There are eccentric FSUW.  Believe me, I have met them and enjoyed some of them.   You just need to do more homework next time. 
 

 
Next time be sure to communicate much more with a FSUW before you commit to meeting her.  Skype is wonderful.. You can discover much about compatibility.  You can raise issues that could be a problem just to find out her reaction.

The sleeping arrangement was a big red flag.  I met only one woman who would not share an apartment.  One even volunteered to share a king bed  because she said the trusted me to behave politely (choices were limited and she had never slept in one - she was a lot of fun).   I don't know the age of K but the difference could be that the women I dated were mostly in their 30s and 40s and did not want to waste limited time.  A younger UW may be more shy about such matters.

I am eccentric. I'd fit in well in the Adamm's family and could give Lurch a run for his money.  But believe you me, this girl is no supermodel, and she's a far cry from normal. That's why I liked her so much. Figured she was sort of weird, too, that maybe we could be weird together.
She's cute to me because she is on my level, but she's definitely not out of my league. I've dated American girls who blow her out of the water. We talked on Skype, had great phone chemistry, did all the things that are possible from a world away....but like you say, the reasons do not matter. She and I are simply incompatible.
Daveman mentioned making lemons out of lemonade. So let me regale y'all with one last story-about lemons. We ate at a Ukrainian restaurant on Gavannaya (the one directly across from city garden), and I ordered fish shashlyk for her, because I know she likes fish because she is a Sevastopol girl. She did the weirdest thing that I have ever seen in my life, and oddly it made me really attracted to her. She cut up her lemon into litle pieces with her knife and fork, then meticulously ate them, lemon rine and all. I did not notice at first, then I looked accross at her cleared plate and commented, "You ate your lemon. Wow. Never seen that before." Then she grabs her cup of chirney chai, and matter of factly, picks up the lemon wedge inside it. And says, "You see, when I am at home, and I am taking my tea, I will take the lemon like this," she grabbed it up like a seal eating fish, gobbled it down, "and eat it. It's very tasty."
That has to be one of the WTF? war stories if I've ever heard one. You cannot make this stuff up.   

[Gator]

I am eccentric. I'd fit in well in the Adamm's family and could give Lurch a run for his money.  But believe you me, this girl is no supermodel, and she's a far cry from normal. That's why I liked her so much. Figured she was sort of weird, too, that maybe we could be weird together.

 

She cut up her lemon into litle pieces with her knife and fork, then meticulously ate them, lemon rine and all. ....That has to be one of the WTF? war stories if I've ever heard one. You cannot make this stuff up. 

Very common among RW.  Usually they put sugar on the lemon slices before eating them.  That is why many are fascinated with the tequila routine (salt, shot, lime).
 
The first time I saw this I too was amazed.  I amazed them too when I ate a Vidalia onion as if it were an apple. 
 
Did you try some of that especially stinky pickled fish?  Some varieties are delicious, similar to herring.  However, there is one variety which I abhor.  And you sit there and watch these beautiful women eat it and  drink a beer.  Maybe I need to dip it  in Immodium.   

[noelscot]

 
Very common among RW.  Usually they put sugar on the lemon slices before eating them.  That is why many are fascinated with the tequila routine (salt, shot, lime).
 
The first time I saw this I too was amazed.  I amazed them too when I ate a Vidalia onion as if it were an apple. 
 
Did you try some of that especially stinky pickled fish?  Some varieties are delicious, similar to herring.  However, there is one variety which I abhor.  And you sit there and watch these beautiful women eat it and  drink a beer.  Maybe I need to dip it  in Immodium.   

Mmmmmm, Immodium. Don't even get me started on the stinky pickled fish. My first night here I tried to be culturally sensitive and eat this weird purplish fish dish that had beets on top, pickled fish underneath. It had some sort of small fish with lots of bones, and I had to use Jedi mind powers to keep from hurling after I ate this HUGE spoonful, trying to be all deep-end-of-the-pool. I really tried to like it. I swear I must have turned three shades of green. I've seen stuff eaten here that'd make a billy goat puke. And I've seen food that would impress some of the most cultured palletes. So it's a wide spectrum of stuff here. Must sleep now. To-morrow is a big day.

[JohnDearGreen]

It sure sounds like K and her boyfriend Anton were out to take as much as they could from the "Rich American".  They lost money because they couldn't rent you an apartment at an inflated cost or they lost the opportunity to play the "that apartment isn't available but here's a nicer one at a a higher price" game.

There could be other reasons.  Like the infamous trip report where the lady locks the guy into the 6th floor apartment each night and keeps the key so he can't get out.  She probably just wanted to get him a place way out in the suburbs where he can't easily run off to meet other ladies.

[SANDRO43]

Sprinkling lemon juice over fish is an age-old habit in many countries, probably because it's acidic and therefore anti-bacterial to some extent .

Some people love acidic flavours anyway, and are partial to stuff that contains them for instance as acetic acid (vinegar), citric acid (citrus fruit like lemons, grapefruit, oranges, etc.), and so on.

Mixing acidic substances and sugar determines sugar inversion. Chemically speaking, sugar is saccharose or sucrose, a disaccharide molecule composed of glucose and fructose:

Sugar inversion is the opposite of the synthesis process depicted above, i.e. it splits the molecule into its two constituent monosaccharides. It naturally occurs in our stomach due to its gastric acid.

Giving sucrose a reference sweetness of 1, glucose scores 0.8 and fructose up to 1.7, therefore the process may yield a 2.5-times sweeter taste and is lighter on the stomach, i.e. pre-digested .

[OlgaH]

 

 Giving sucrose a reference sweetness of 1, glucose scores 0.8 and fructose up to 1.7, therefore the process may yield a 2.5-times sweeter taste and is lighter on the stomach, i.e. pre-digested .
 

Sandro,  limoncello? 

[SANDRO43]

Sandro,  limoncello? 

Only if served very cold Olga, otherwise too sweet for my taste, probably due to sugar inversion .

[OlgaH]

Only if served very cold Olga, otherwise too sweet for my taste, probably due to sugar inversion .

It is also too sweet for me. I prefer green tea and without sugar. Time to time with cherry jam. I also like my coffee without sugar. I don't know why but when I tried limoncello for the first time it reminded me some kind of citrus lotion or citrus eau-de-Cologne     The same with a cucumber soup I ordered one day. It was like eating a cucumber lotion that was very popular during the Soviet time. Very distinctive aroma.

[spyece]

she said she wanted us to go to India with the rest of my vacation days for the year. I looked at her like, "INDIA?!" She kept a straight face the whole time. I swear to God. "Yes, India. Let's go!" she said.

I am from India and Definitely India is a wonderful place, but the fact that out of all other options available like, rome, paris... she choose India, its quite strange

[noelscot]

Ok, so this has been much more of a journey of self-discovery so far than anything else. I never question the path God has chosen for me, and I just make sure to always be doing things in the right way and correct my demerits as best I am able.
I pulled by chestnuts out of the fire and have a date scheduled for tonite. I'll hit the mall and supermarket, then meet V.  So the two tickets to the opera house came in handy. Knowing some Russian has also come in handy. I cannot tell you how many times it has saved my arse knowing just a little Russian. I WOULD NOT come here without know some BASIC Russian. You may be bold, and think you'll be fine, but sooner rather than later you'll find yourself in a situation where you need to speak Russian to get what you need. Also, keep in mind that your first trip, unless you're one of these guys who hits the lottery, is probably gonna blow up on you and just turn into a touristy type situation with meaningless dates. You might make some last minute dates, but you won't know these women well, because you just started talking to them recently and there's zero connection.
The flipside is that if you are HERE. It changes everything. You're not just some douche talking about how he is going to visit here. You ARE here. Instantly, you're going to get some meetings just by being in FSU.
These are some general guidelines from mistakes I made:
1) Never answer a question with a question; indecisiveness is frowned upon;
2) Make sure you are in the right frame of mind. I'd actually rest the first day I arrived and not meet anyone. Relax. Recooperate. Get your mind right.
3) If you have demerits that need attention, work them the hell out before you come over here.
4) If an FSU woman shows you a cultural site, you had better feign excitedness. Even if you are not excited. It will hurt her feelings and get you negative approval points if you show no emotions.
5) If you go WOVO and the woman has no plans to introduce you to her family, especially if you've had heavy correspondence, SLOW DOWN until she warms up to you and makes plans to meet her family. IT'S TOO SOON FOR A VISIT. The successful people I personally know who went WOVO, corresponded for about 3 months and visiting the family was a given, not an unknown.
5)(a) Absolutely, do not go WOVO strictly. If it goes great, you will never know the joys of a bad WOVO trip. I hope you guys never will. But if it goes bad, you will be happy that you planned for contingencies and such.
Those are just the thoughts from a guy on the ground living it. Peace be with you.         

[Faux Pas]

Noel,

Your advice, while seems to you to make a lot of sense given your present situation, isn't all that stellar. Perhaps after you've returned home and reflect on everything it will likely be much different. Your experience has left you jaded and your advice is skewed. I'll expound a bit:

Basic Russian? Not really, most guys can cruise with just a few select words and phrases and less.

First trip WOVO, the chances are MUCH better than the lottery. More like picking a couple of winners at the racetrack. Yes difficult to do but possible with due diligence.

Indecisiveness is a trait. Helpful in some situations, a negative in others. Always be yourself.

Experienced travelers would perhaps disagree with your sleep-in idea on the first day instead opting to travel smarter so as to not be war torn on arrival. Time is precious.

This demerits thing you keep mentioning doesn't make much sense. ALWAYS be yourself. If one has serious character flaws and unable to keep them in check, make sure the woman is apprised and informed. Most successful WOVO's both parties have few if any surprises. Each is exactly as the other expected. Again, always be yourself even before getting on the plane. Painting a picture of Prince Charming and showing up as Gomer Pyle will often lead to failure. Always be yourself, no matter who that is.

Just something for thought

[noelscot]

Noel,

Your advice, while seems to you to make a lot of sense given your present situation, isn't all that stellar. Perhaps after you've returned home and reflect on everything it will likely be much different. Your experience has left you jaded and your advice is skewed. I'll expound a bit:

Basic Russian? Not really, most guys can cruise with just a few select words and phrases and less.

First trip WOVO, the chances are MUCH better than the lottery. More like picking a couple of winners at the racetrack. Yes difficult to do but possible with due diligence.

Indecisiveness is a trait. Helpful in some situations, a negative in others. Always be yourself.

Experienced travelers would perhaps disagree with your sleep-in idea on the first day instead opting to travel smarter so as to not be war torn on arrival. Time is precious.

This demerits thing you keep mentioning doesn't make much sense. ALWAYS be yourself. If one has serious character flaws and unable to keep them in check, make sure the woman is apprised and informed. Most successful WOVO's both parties have few if any surprises. Each is exactly as the other expected. Again, always be yourself even before getting on the plane. Painting a picture of Prince Charming and showing up as Gomer Pyle will often lead to failure. Always be yourself, no matter who that is.

Just something for thought

I agree. "To thine own self be true."--Billy Shakespeare.

[Slumba]

Indecisiveness is a trait. Helpful in some situations, a negative in others. Always be yourself.

Experienced travelers would perhaps disagree with your sleep-in idea on the first day instead opting to travel smarter so as to not be war torn on arrival. Time is precious.

This demerits thing you keep mentioning doesn't make much sense. ALWAYS be yourself. If one has serious character flaws and unable to keep them in check, make sure the woman is apprised and informed. Most successful WOVO's both parties have few if any surprises. Each is exactly as the other expected. Again, always be yourself even before getting on the plane. Painting a picture of Prince Charming and showing up as Gomer Pyle will often lead to failure. Always be yourself, no matter who that is.

Pardon me for jumping in, I hope it is not a violation of etiquette to comment on this on noelscot's thread....

Indecisiveness for a Western man, can sometimes be a form of politeness in dealing with women; such as "I am fine with either Jimmy's Steakhouse or Caruso's Italian tonight - which do you prefer?". 

In FSUW relationships (from what I can determine), it is a huge negative.  You are the man, so you have to "be the man" and make a decision. Your job is to decide, the woman's job is follow.  Of course, this places MORE responsibility on the man, not less.

I agree, traveling so as not to waste a day would be optimal, that said, it still might be a good idea to leave yourself some slack time at the beginning and the end of each stay, allowing you to rest or focus on niggly details without feeling time pressure.

Finally, I would say that (though I have yet to travel to FSU) relationships with FSUW do make you look at yourself in the mirror.   

Part of it may be their character, part of it their questions, part of it simply that they are trying to understand life and culture , and your own responses are showing yourself what brand and size of oatmeal flake you truly are.

In my case:

--I realized I could not ask a beautiful woman who kept herself in good shape to accept the lardass I was (I have since lost 23kg and added muscle-almost have a V shape instead of O shape now);

--nor a sociable woman to deal with a man who was less sociable (I have tried to expand my social circle and add to social activities also).

A quote from the Bible that seems apt: 

"Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend."  -Proverbs 27:17

In getting to know women better, they show us our own failings and we resolve to do better. 

At least, I think that is what the original poster is getting at.

[Faux Pas]

Pardon me for jumping in, I hope it is not a violation of etiquette to comment on this on noelscot's thread....

Not at all. That is exactly the purpose of fora and this one specifically.

In FSUW relationships (from what I can determine), it is a huge negative.  You are the man, so you have to "be the man" and make a decision. Your job is to decide, the woman's job is follow.  Of course, this places MORE responsibility on the man, not less.

This just isn't true, I'll explain. It does seem to be given much more credence than it deserves. Sure, women everywhere want a decisive man, no disagreement there. A man for the first time in a strange land/culture may easily defer to the woman more familiar. The first time I met my wife, one of the first things we did was go out into the city and I explained to her that I was a fish out of water in Russia. For her to lead, make decisions and I will follow. She did as did I. I have no problem taking the lead and making decisions that need to be made at anytime. She understood that. I point that out because IMHO, the man making all the decisions isn't the be all, end all in a relationship. I prefer the trust and expediency aspect plus, a man thinking he has to make all the decisions is going to piss off a lot of women.

I agree, traveling so as not to waste a day would be optimal, that said, it still might be a good idea to leave yourself some slack time at the beginning and the end of each stay, allowing you to rest or focus on niggly details without feeling time pressure.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. This is never more true than in traveling

Finally, I would say that (though I have yet to travel to FSU) relationships with FSUW do make you look at yourself in the mirror.   

Part of it may be their character, part of it their questions, part of it simply that they are trying to understand life and culture , and your own responses are showing yourself what brand and size of oatmeal flake you truly are.

Seriously, doesn't all relationships make one take a look at one's self? Whether with an FSUW or not? They do and they should. If they don't perhaps they are not worthy of a relationship?

--I realized I could not ask a beautiful woman who kept herself in good shape to accept the lardass I was (I have since lost 23kg and added muscle-almost have a V shape instead of O shape now);

--nor a sociable woman to deal with a man who was less sociable (I have tried to expand my social circle and add to social activities also).

Self improvement should be a goal of us all and it isn't all inclusive to just appearance and social skills

A quote from the Bible that seems apt: 

"Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend."  -Proverbs 27:17

In getting to know women better, they show us our own failings and we resolve to do better. 

At least, I think that is what the original poster is getting at.

No disagreement there

[Hammer2722]

Dushe dobre Noel, I am glad to see that your a making your trip into a success so far. I am definitely enjoying reading your TR. 

[knighta]

There could be other reasons.  Like the infamous trip report where the lady locks the guy into the 6th floor apartment each night and keeps the key so he can't get out.  She probably just wanted to get him a place way out in the suburbs where he can't easily run off to meet other ladies.

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=8545.0

[Faux Pas]

The story continues. I think I'm doing quite well to have turned around a WOVO nightmare as quickly as I have.

It shows in your writing. It changes your whole outlook, doesn't it? 

[noelscot]

It shows in your writing. It changes your whole outlook, doesn't it? 

Outlook is still ni-horosho, but I'm trying to have as much fun as possible while still here and keep a good ATTITUDE. Maybe give you guys a funny story here or there. There simply is not enough time on a WOVO trip gone wrong to do everything that needs to be done--like making contacts, arranging dates, establishing meaningful connections, learning the other person's heart, etc. I only had one lady from Poltava, Z., who is as eccentric as I am (I won't call her a "back-up," she's always been my favorite), has a whole lot going on in her life with her family, and is not rushing into marriage, or crazy about jumping on the next samolyot to the USA. She's "real".
Last nite Z. and I were talking, and she asked me about everything that happened with K. I told her. I asked her if she had any prospects or had met any foreign men. She told me, no, she hardly checks her LL account and is only corresponding with me. Hm.... It's weird because we're totally violating the "don't ask, don't tell" rule, and sort of laying all the cards on the table. She has always been straight with me about stuff and brutally honest, which I like.
So we started talking about the MOB business and this thing of ours. She told me that after university she was a translator at MOB agency "socials." She said the funniest thing she saw was old men going after little 20 y.o. women. (I'm not throwing stones here. My house is made of glass too. Rock the cradle of love, dudes.) So I was made privy to some of the inner workings of a UW's mind about all this stuff. I'll hear more, I'm sure, tonight when we talk.
For tomorrow, I'm going on a walking tour of city center Odessa with a fellow named Yuriy. Yes, I'm that bored. I'll share his contact info, but hopefully none of you will be in a situation to where you have to pay for a tour. By the way, I've already seen city center a million times. But I've had it up to here with caves, and I don't think I need to go anywhere near the winery. Arkadia is closed......... Um, yeah.