How Many RW are Psychologically Damaged?

[Eduard]

I don't recall reading the ScottInCrimea threads, but there are many others I have not read as well.  Regardless, if he was really with his ex for 5 years in Ukraine, she must have enjoyed her life and relationship to some degree.  Or was she simply unbelievably patient, waiting for her opportunity later?  If the latter, it is a sobering example indeed.

They say that patience is a virtue... does this mean that she is a virtuous woman? 

[Gator]

I wrote "pyschologically damaged" in the title because of ECOCKS' comment about these women damaging men.  Specifically, I am not talking in generalities but in medical terms.  I used the term untreated psychological condtition or disorder and it is better defined.   
 


What Is a Psychological Disorder?

A psychological disorder, also known as a mental disorder, is a pattern of behavioral or psychological symptoms that impact multiple life areas and/or create distress for the person experiencing these symptoms.


How Prevalent Are Psychological Disorders?

Relatively recent research has revealed that psychological disorders are far more prevalent that previously believed. According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), approximately 26 percent of American adults over the age of 18 suffer from some type of diagnosable mental disorder in a given year.¹ The 1994 National Comorbidity Survey (NCS) indicated that 30 percent of respondents had experienced symptoms of at least one psychological disorder in the previous year. The survey also indicated that nearly half of all adults experience some form of mental disorder at some point in their life.²


What Are the Different Types of Mental Disorders?

Clinicians use the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders as a standard, and it lists about 250 disorders.  Many are similar. 

http://psychology.about.com/od/psychotherapy/tp/list-of-psychological-disorders.htm
 
 
 

[Maxx2]

They say that patience is a virtue... does this mean that she is a virtuous woman? 

Supposedly pressed by her husband to bring in some extra money by pole dancing (her admission). And her avatar of herself (she posted here) in a bikini. What was the truth? Was pole dancing the only thing she did to bring in money?

[Eduard]

Supposedly pressed by her husband to bring in some extra money by pole dancing (her admission). And her avatar of herself (she posted here) in a bikini. What was the truth? Was pole dancing the only thing she did to bring in money?

I don't know! I remember Scottincrimea posting here when I first joined RWD about 4 years ago, but I wasn't on this forum when the break up happened so don't know any details. But if what you said she said is true I can only say that sending your wife to work as a stripper to bring home the bacon wouldn't be on my list of things to do to solidify the relationship with her.

[Misha]

Supposedly pressed by her husband to bring in some extra money by pole dancing (her admission). And her avatar of herself (she posted here) in a bikini. What was the truth? Was pole dancing the only thing she did to bring in money?

I don't remember that, nor the profile she created her    However, I would not have thought that there would have been much demand for pole dancers who were presumably in their forties 

[vwrw]

Supposedly pressed by her husband to bring in some extra money by pole dancing (her admission). And her avatar of herself (she posted here) in a bikini. What was the truth? Was pole dancing the only thing she did to bring in money?

I do not remember this info with regard to RWD's Scott. Yet I read the story you mentioned on other forum. The poster nickname was not Scott and his wife did have a bikini photo. How do you know the guy was Scott?

[Maxx2]

I got my "crash and burn" stories crossed. There are so many.


I was talking a long time member here. He said that a lot of those that used to post here and have stopped are quite probably part of the crash and burn list. He and I knew of some of the former members and what happened to them. They were smart in that they knew that hanging around here such as what I have done would only lead to their being suspicioned as abusive or mentally unfit. 

[Maxx2]

I don't know! I remember Scottincrimea posting here when I first joined RWD about 4 years ago, but I wasn't on this forum when the break up happened so don't know any details. But if what you said she said is true I can only say that sending your wife to work as a stripper to bring home the bacon wouldn't be on my list of things to do to solidify the relationship with her.

NOT Scott. Another guy. In my opinion she wanted to work in a strip joint. Of three cases I know, 2 Elenas and 1 Lubov that have chosen giving massages as their next occupation. 


Then there is this. Just watch the first minute

[BdHvA]

WOW!

In fact this entire video is amazing for a number of reasons. I suspect it should be placed in a different thread but that is for some one with more posts and who knows the boards better than I.

BdHvA

[SMS60]

Every man who jumps into the dating scene should educate himself on Boderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Read as much as you can about this disorder. You will thank yourself down the road.

These are the women who will use the system to achieve their goals. They are the ones who file the false DV charges. They are the ones who file for protective orders to game the system. They are the ones who have the extreme trait of entitlement. They are the ones who during divorce will grow horns and take everything. There will be nothing fair. The main reason is they lack the important trait of empathy.

Call this arm chair psychology. But if you compare all the train wrecks with AW or RWUW you will see similarities in all. Normal people dont take things to the extreme as people with this disorder do.

They say 5%-7% have  this disorder. These are the ones diagnosed. The real numbers are closer 15%-20% because most do not seek help. So you look at 100 profiles you can count on 15 -20 having a trait that could destroy your life.

[Turboguy]

I remember the story but am having a hard time remembering the name too but I agree it was not a "Scott", David comes to my mind but I don't recall.   I do remember thinking before it all broke that he was a really nice guy.  I guess it shows how well some people can hide their real persona. 
 
As I remember the story he forced her to work in the strip club and also beat her.  Perhaps she was more receptive to it than the story would indicate but my guess is it was more him. 
 
The video was interesting but personally I think there are as many cases of false abuse when it comes to RW as there are real stories.  I think perhaps with Asian women the abuse rate is much higher.  Russian women are not wimps and I don't think they would sit back and take abuse very easily. 

[Patagonie]

Every man who jumps into the dating scene should educate himself on Boderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Read as much as you can about this disorder. You will thank yourself down the road.

These are the women who will use the system to achieve their goals. They are the ones who file the false DV charges. They are the ones who file for protective orders to game the system. They are the ones who have the extreme trait of entitlement. They are the ones who during divorce will grow horns and take everything. There will be nothing fair. The main reason is they lack the important trait of empathy.

Call this arm chair psychology. But if you compare all the train wrecks with AW or RWUW you will see similarities in all. Normal people dont take things to the extreme as people with this disorder do.

They say 5%-7% have  this disorder. These are the ones diagnosed. The real numbers are closer 15%-20% because most do not seek help. So you look at 100 profiles you can count on 15 -20 having a trait that could destroy your life.

SMS 60 you are pointing something very important : The main reason is they lack the important trait of empathy. A lot of people who have disorders personality are lacking, in general totally of empathy.
+1

[OlgaH]

Every man who jumps into the dating scene should educate himself on Boderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Read as much as you can about this disorder. You will thank yourself down the road.

These are the women who will use the system to achieve their goals. They are the ones who file the false DV charges. They are the ones who file for protective orders to game the system. They are the ones who have the extreme trait of entitlement. They are the ones who during divorce will grow horns and take everything. There will be nothing fair. The main reason is they lack the important trait of empathy.

Call this arm chair psychology. But if you compare all the train wrecks with AW or RWUW you will see similarities in all. Normal people dont take things to the extreme as people with this disorder do.

They say 5%-7% have  this disorder. These are the ones diagnosed. The real numbers are closer 15%-20% because most do not seek help. So you look at 100 profiles you can count on 15 -20 having a trait that could destroy your life.

The same advice I would give women who jumps into the dating scene too as there is enough men with different kind of personality disorders (not just Borderline) too, who have a difficult time to find a partner in his own society so they look abroad.

http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/go/information/get-info/personality-disorders
 

[SMS60]

Olga your are very correct. I guess a person should use the word human instead of man or woman.

But this forum is geared more towards advice for men.

[Faux Pas]

Every man who jumps into the dating scene should educate himself on Boderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Read as much as you can about this disorder. You will thank yourself down the road.

These are the women who will use the system to achieve their goals. They are the ones who file the false DV charges. They are the ones who file for protective orders to game the system. They are the ones who have the extreme trait of entitlement. They are the ones who during divorce will grow horns and take everything. There will be nothing fair. The main reason is they lack the important trait of empathy.

Call this arm chair psychology. But if you compare all the train wrecks with AW or RWUW you will see similarities in all. Normal people dont take things to the extreme as people with this disorder do.

They say 5%-7% have  this disorder. These are the ones diagnosed. The real numbers are closer 15%-20% because most do not seek help. So you look at 100 profiles you can count on 15 -20 having a trait that could destroy your life.

Everyone would do well to be aware of BPD but, you state it like it's gender specific, it isn't. You could likely use the same stats you provided to include the men that actually get on a plane too. The OWWs are particularly subject to find these type personalities but, it could happen to anyone. It reaffirms, slow down and quit approaching the endeavor like your ass is on fire, learn, watch, know your woman. Women do the same of the man.

[BC]

I guess one could apply Occam's Razor and simply say that actively looking for a marriage partner from a different culture outside his/her own peer group, half a world away via electronic means is not 'normal', thus those involved are 'abnormal'.

Remember that dating show that used to be on TV?  Women and men hidden from each other and selecting a date sight unseen?  That wasn't normal either..

[noelscot]

I guess one could apply Occam's Razor and simply say that actively looking for a marriage partner from a different culture outside his/her own peer group, half a world away via electronic means is not 'normal', thus those involved are 'abnormal'.

Remember that dating show that used to be on TV?  Women and men hidden from each other and selecting a date sight unseen?  That wasn't normal either..

Say it ain't so. Being normal just isn't any fun!

[vwrw]

If he was really with his ex for 5 years in Ukraine, she must have enjoyed her life and relationship to some degree.  Or was she simply unbelievably patient, waiting for her opportunity later?  If the latter, it is a sobering example indeed.

I think the only person who can answer your question is her. My guess is that she was one of the women who marry a man not for who he is but for who she is going to make him. I am certain he informed his then future wife that he enjoy living in Ukraine and has no intention to relocate to the US for permanent residency. She might respond "okay" and then thought she is going to change his mind.

Regardless of how things went on, Scott's  example well illustrates the weak points  of " I am going to live in your country" as a tactic to eliminate "dangerous" women.

1. it is wrong to start relationship with a lie.
2. this tactic won't eliminate disparate women who is unwanted by most and usually they are unwanted for a reason. It also won't eliminate women similar to Scott's ex, who will think they will change your mind.
3. this tactic gives you a false sense of security. Scott was very confident that blue passport  was not a factor why his wife was with him. As it obvious now he was more confident than correct.
 

[vwrw]

They say 5%-7% have  this disorder. These are the ones diagnosed. The real numbers are closer 15%-20% because most do not seek help. So you look at 100 profiles you can count on 15 -20 having a trait that could destroy your life.

Although I do not know what the approximate % of women that are psychological unhealthy and have the potential to ruin their men lives is, I know that the 20-80% phenomenon is true about many things in life. Therefore, i will agree with SMS60, the dangerous women probably make about 20% of the group.   

[Faux Pas]

I think the only person who can answer your question is her. My guess is that she was one of the women who marry a man not for who he is but for who she is going to make him. I am certain he informed his then future wife that he enjoy living in Ukraine and has no intention to relocate to the US for permanent residency. She might respond "okay" and then thought she is going to change his mind.

Regardless of how things went on, Scott's  example well illustrates the weak points  of " I am going to live in your country" as a tactic to eliminate "dangerous" women.

1. it is wrong to start relationship with a lie.
2. this tactic won't eliminate disparate women who is unwanted by most and usually they are unwanted for a reason. It also won't eliminate women similar to Scott's ex, who will think they will change your mind.
3. this tactic gives you a false sense of security. Scott was very confident that blue passport  was not a factor why his wife was with him. As it obvious now he was more confident than correct.

In all fairness to Scott's ex wife, there was no evidence that she was a "bad" or damaged woman. By Scott's account she was a good wife and a good woman. It is possible that it was a unfortunate timing. Marriages do have a tendency to play out and reach an end. IIRC, for the ignitor, there was some bone of contention that she wanted him to resume the medical field and he didn't want to.

[vwrw]

IIRC, for the ignitor, there was some bone of contention that she wanted him to resume the medical field and he didn't want to.

This is one more suggestion indicating that she was with him not for who he was (a instructor living in Ukraine), but for who she wanted him to be (a doctor living in the US)

It is possible that it was a unfortunate timing. Marriages do have a tendency to play out and reach an end.

Everything that is imaginable is possible!

[Misha]

I guess one could apply Occam's Razor and simply say that actively looking for a marriage partner from a different culture outside his/her own peer group, half a world away via electronic means is not 'normal', thus those involved are 'abnormal'.

Normal is overrated. Following  your logic, I should have stayed in my little village in northern Canada, and pumped gas at the local co-op    Normal is too dull and stifling for my tastes (sigh). Are there any "normal" people left on this planet?

[OlgaH]

[Maxx2]

Thank you Olga for this.  The first description was of my Russian wife, a complete sociopath.

[GQBlues]

So how do any of you classify social misfits?  Men who couldn't get dates at home and/or women no one wants in theirs...


It isn't a huge leap to believe most, if not all social misfits carry with them some insidious or negative traits/qualities/baggages, etc...making them unfit for any social interaction (hence the name) let alone succeed in any sustained relationship/s (?).


This number would alone would greatly cover the marriage industry's majority population.