So, you think you want a Russian Bride?

[newjason]

So, you think you want a Russian Bride....



If you are new here, or on your 13th Trip to the FSU,  we see time and time again, the stories ....
Guys asking,  how do I know she's not a scammer?
Guys saying, I talked to her for 6 months on skype, but when I got there, she was not what I expected.
Guys saying, I spent $10000 and all I got was a kiss on the cheek.
There area thousand other variations.. most ending in  dissapointment, and failure.
Of course there are those here that have succeeded,  but you can count them on one hand.
There are some who, despite the odds, do stumble into a marriage, but it ends shortly afterward for whatever reason.

So, what Is it you really want?  I assume you have thought this out in your head and come to the answer .... A Russian Wife.

Lets examine what is really involved with this.

You will be exchanging virtual communications with - what you hope is the person represented in the photos and videos. But you really never know for sure until you share a spot of tea, a table and meet face to face....

This will mean you  will be taking a lot of this on faith, and If you have read anything about this, it's not always in your favour to do so, as this is what the MOB industry feeds upon. 
They paint a very pretty picture about how FSU women are traditional, and have family values, and bla bla bla...  really all you know for sure, is that they dress like .....   you know..

Oh, but wait, you don't speak her language, and she doesn't speak yours?  better order more tea...
It's going to be awkward with a capital Q.....

 But just for fun, let's say you suddenly can absorb 10years of language study and practice in an instant..   

Cool!

So now , Lets say you luck out, and you find a suitable woman.
Let's  go so far as to say you go to her, and meet her,  and you have some chemistry.
Let's say everything goes ideally on your visit.

The most I can imagine you staying on one trip is 14 days with one woman. 
Any more than that,  you run the risk of " moving too fast"   Big  no-no.
Would you like to have a stranger hanging around you constantly for days on end? even If you liked them, You need to function  in your normal routine and so does she, so at best case, you will have a date every night or so.   
So that's  maybe 40 hours  maximum face to face time. 
 
OK, so now you return home. All went well, and you both want to further a romantic relationship?

wonderful.  you can get a ring and ...... 

HOLD ON.....
You do not marry anyone after knowing them for less than a work week!  That's insane!

So you spend the next year, working and planning and taking 3 - 4 more trips, to spend time and build a relationship with a woman.
So you maybe have spent a total of 8 weeks together, actual face time. 
YES!
Now!
 If everything is in order? let's say you ask her to marry you.
Let's say she says Yes.

Now you need to pay for a wedding. 
Do you think your wife's dream was to elope in Vegas, or a 30 min trip through ZAGS? 
I can tell you , No, it was not, so even if you Do a shotgun wedding for the purpose of starting the paperwork, or if you have her come here on a K_1,  You are still going to have wedding expenses For a real traditional wedding at some point.  Almost certainly she will want to marry in front of her freinds and family, and you will want the same.   Now we are talking 2 weddings.
Oh, by the way, traditional FSU weddings are  3 days in length.
Yes   3  full days.  Fun days, but still 3 full days.  That is IF her family likes you.  If not, then..   well...   that's another thread ..  anyway..
So,
Now,  you are married. 
Cool you have reached your goal!!!

Sweet!





Only, that is not the end.
You have just begun.
There will be culture shock, adaptation and a learning period when in you will need to spend a lot of time, teaching , educating, supporting and empathizing with your new wife. all the while giving her space and still doing your own daily routines.  As she is not going to be locked away in a room, or the kitchen... 
She will need a car.
But first..
She needs to learn how to drive.
She will need more care and support than you can conceive.
You will need more patience and empathy than you can imagine.

Do you have all the tools for this adventure?
Remember, this is easy part.

Now comes the reality. You need to live together everyday till death parts you.

So, If you have any question in your mind that you have what it takes to nurture another person into an equal marriage, then you should not look abroad for arussian wife.  Like it or not. It is  not fair to her, or to you.   

OK, now that you have read this and are in defensive denial mode, I will tell you, calm down, all is not lost. 


What if  I told you that you don't need to go through all that  stuff we just explained?

What if I said that you don't need to worry about email letters,  long distance airfare, learning how to read Cyrillic alphabet, and spending $$$$ with agencies overseas?

There is a solution.
 
this is My Opinion of Course and because it is just that, I can only draw from my personal experiences.

That being said, all is not lost if it is still your desire to date a FSUW.

There are many of them who are already in the country, have already learned the language,  have went through the culture shock and are experienced and ready to start dating.
Why not start with those women first? 

Your chances of success will be much greater, and the savings will be tremendous.

Dogspot has a thread with some good places to start looking for local Russian ladies

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=14523.0


I offer this as an alternative to the traditional method of finding a MOB.
In my experience, I have had LTR's with 2 beautiful FSU women.  But I never got on a plane to meet them, only to visit their families...


Have fun
and Be nice

Jason

[newjason]

I would like to add that this whole FSU adventure comes down to 1 key element:
Immigration.

Any FSU woman who want's a life in (your country) is going to find a way to immigrate with or without you. So ask yourself, is the woman or women I am considering serious about immigration and assimilation into a new culture?
If the answer is anything other than  100% YES, then you are going to have to convince a woman who at heart really doesn't want to leave her country. That in itself will be problematic.

IMO  The FSU people who have gone through the immigration process already have what it takes to be successful and have demonstrated that merely by already having done it.

You see, there are people who are lazy, and people who want more in every culture. Lazy people will never immigrate because it requires effort.  If you convince a person like like this that you are the easy immigration train, then they may just hop on for the ride because it i was easy, but that just creates unrealistic expectations from both parties.
Quality FSU citizens are already here.  They are not waiting to be "rescued" and have stepped up and done what was needed to get here on their own.

This is the woman that will make an excellent wife, not the one back in the FSU.
That is my Opinion of course.




Jason
 

[I/O]

The best quality FSU citizens are already here.

Bawlsch!t.

[Misha]

Quality FSU citizens are already here.  They are not waiting to be "rescued" and have stepped up and done what was needed to get here on their own.

This is the woman that will make an excellent wife, not the one back in the FSU.
That is my Opinion of course.

 

Are you looking for an ideal citizen or are you looking for an excellent wife? An excellent wife for some of us is open to trying new foods, while still pining for borscht from timt to time 

[Gator]

I would like to add that this whole FSU adventure comes down to 1 key element:   Immigration.  .... Any FSU woman who want's a life in (your country) is going to find a way to immigrate with or without you.

Not true.   There are many RW who consider leaving their family, friends and country as hugely negative.  Pursue them and avoid the desperate women.   

[LAman]

Not true.   There are many RW who consider leaving their family, friends and country as hugely negative.  Pursue them and avoid the desperate women.

I agree gator.....I like when a FSUW tells me she would rather stay with family and friends but if she meets the right man, she will be at his side.

[tfcrew]

Ever notice?...
It seems, sometimes, that here's just about about as many 'experts' on Russian brides as there are Russian brides.

this is My Opinion of Course

Well, you know what they say about opinions.

[Shadow]

Without calling every FSUW who divorced and did not wish to go back a bad apple, you are more likely to find the ones who purely married for immigration among the local divorced FSUW.
So either you risk time and money while at least being able to learn and understand the culture of another country, or you take a risk of investing it in a known gold digger.

[newjason]

Without calling every FSUW who divorced and did not wish to go back a bad apple, you are more likely to find the ones who purely married for immigration among the local divorced FSUW.
So either you risk time and money while at least being able to learn and understand the culture of another country, or you take a risk of investing it in a known gold digger.

Where did I suggest dating a divorcee or a green card sham marriage  mistress?

[newjason]

Not true.   There are many RW who consider leaving their family, friends and country as hugely negative.  Pursue them and avoid the desperate women.

Ahh, I guess I was not clear.   
The motivated immigrants once here and settled,  sponsor the family to come and join them.


I am not talking about dating girls who used another man and a marriage to gain access.

LOL

that is pretty funny

[newjason]

Ever notice?...
It seems, sometimes, that here's just about about as many 'experts' on Russian brides as there are Russian brides.
Well, you know what they say about opinions.

I am no expert. 
I am merely illustrating the obvious.

I have met 2 FSU women who I have seriously dated long term.
They were already in the US
and they were not previously married, or K-1 rejects.

[GQBlues]

I actually agree with the premise that if you're struck with Slavic persuasion, then it makes alot more sense to seek one who's already living here. Especially these days where the rate of non-immigrant visas are almost at a 90% threshold, couple that with those already living here as residents.
 
But what the OP may be missing is that time and money isn't the main problem with most bride seekers via the MOB. Dating women within their acceptable dating age range who are surrounded by men who are likely a tad more socially fit for the women they chase. It's already tough for many of these guys to compete with the local women, let alone the freshly-planted foreign ones enamored by the mass availability of playable men redundantly stereotyped by the film and TV industries e.g. pretty boy Kens and badboy Brads.

[Shadow]

I am no expert. 
I am merely illustrating the obvious.

I have met 2 FSU women who I have seriously dated long term.
They were already in the US
and they were not previously married, or K-1 rejects.

Guess that was not clear from your initial posts.
However that leaves the question.... how did they arrive in the USA ?

[alex330]

Guess that was not clear from your initial posts.
However that leaves the question.... how did they arrive in the USA ?

On an overstayed tourist VISA of course. They don't want to leave now and.....

[Shadow]

On an overstayed tourist VISA of course. They don't want to leave now and.....

I was thinking more among the line of them being 2nd or 3rd generation... Fake Russians as  they are called in Russia. 

[alex330]

I was thinking more among the line of them being 2nd or 3rd generation... Fake Russians as  they are called in Russia. 

As well, yes. Many here in South Florida and very different than the women I met in the FSU.

[tfcrew]

I am no expert. 
I am merely illustrating the obvious....making assumptions

 

Jason, Don't flatter yourself.

Of course there are those here that have succeeded,  but you can count them on one hand.

An assumption. An incorrect one too, as there are abundantly more successful foreign marriages than I can count on one hand. They are not necessarily members of this forum either. However there are more married on this board than you have seemed to count.

So, If you have any question in your mind that you have what it takes to nurture another person into an equal marriage, then you should not look abroad for arussian wife.  Like it or not. It is  not fair to her, or to you.   

Nurture?
This would apply if some one marries another from Russia, China, Mars, next door or across town.

So you..Jason...do propose to be an expert...telling us what is fair.

I could go on but I won't bother.
I am too old to be trolled.

If you never posted again, it would be too soon.
 

[TheTraveler]

So, If you have any question in your mind that you have what it takes to nurture another person into an equal marriage, then you should not look abroad for arussian wife.  Like it or not. It is  not fair to her, or to you.   

= Condescension.
 

[GQBlues]

I was thinking more among the line of them being 2nd or 3rd generation... Fake Russians as  they are called in Russia.   

Fascinating. Isn't it often said too that Russians living in Moscow aren't real Russian either?
 
Will the real Russian(s) please raise your hand(s)!! 

[Boethius]

My better half, who lived in Leningrad for half a decade (his family moved to St. Petersburg during Peter the Great's rule, but maintained property in Ukraine), has said there is a view that "You are no longer Russian if you don't live in Russia."  I asked a Russian I know who emigrated here, and is young, and he laughed and said "Yes, it's true."  Also, Russians who emigrated because of the Revolution (particularly in Paris, where they still speak Russian fluently), apparently want nothing to do with the noveau riche Russians who flock there, nor with post Soviet emigres.
 
Ukrainians don't have this view, probably because so many Ukrainians live in the diaspora, all over the world, though some Ukrainians view diaspora Ukrainians as "traitors".

[GQBlues]

....Also, Russians who emigrated because of the Revolution (particularly in Paris, where they still speak Russian fluently), apparently want nothing to do with the noveau riche Russians who flock there, nor with post Soviet emigres....

Yeah, coincidentally enough, wifey is glued to her iPad watching a youtube movie titled (in Russian) 'East West'. I asked what it was about and she summarized the story in the same vein as you mentioned above. Apparently, it is about a Russian who left for France during the revolution and settled and got married with a French woman. Stalin then offered those who left Russia to get repatriated and was given assurances that everyone will be welcomed back. The man accepted the invitation and took himself and his family back to Russia.
 
Unfortunately, what followed after wasn't quite what was expected. He was deemed a spy/traitor and was arrested, along with his wife...so the story goes.
 
This is why I think socialism is bad. You just can't trust socialists, you know (LOL). 

[Boethius]

They weren't socialists, they were Marxist-Leninists.

But, I digress.  The story your wife was watching was very common. 

[Belvis]

there is a view that "You are no longer Russian if you don't live in Russia."  I asked a Russian I know who emigrated here, and is young, and he laughed and said "Yes, it's true."

To be Russian is not about language or citizenship. There are discussions at local TV-shows who can be called Russian, and who can't. No clear definition for self-identification yet

[CG7]

Have to say I found nothing wrong with newjasons thought.
 My gal got her self here (USA), on her own, did it straight up with in the law.
 So I read a few opinions stated in this thread just a little insulting.

  As stated by others, not all RW are "willing to bend or break the rules" as it was so delicately put.

 She is differant then most AW I have been married to, or dated and the few RW I have dated here in the USA. Love is where you find it, with who ever you find it, no matter the country of origin.

 The only advise I can give is do not do what I did, set on your butt and talk, get over there, meet the girls face to face, do it how ever you choose, but do it.

 Good night, I'm done here.

[Shadow]

Have to say I found nothing wrong with newjasons thought.
 My gal got her self here (USA), on her own, did it straight up with in the law.
 So I read a few opinions stated in this thread just a little insulting.

 

It happens, but the numbers of available women you can find that did this are pretty slim.