7 most common mistakes in dating Ukrainian women

[Mark Davis]

I don't normally share these things, but this last Webinar had some stuff I think every guy should know when going overseas to date in Ukraine.   It covers things like:

    - Responding to cultural misunderstandings
    - Communicating the right message
    - Being the man she wants to claim as hers
    - Overcoming fears
    - Five-Step formula for Success
    - The art of timing in this condensed format


Here's a short outline.


(1) Overselling yourself
(2) Overreacting
(3) Acting superior
(4) Ghosthunting for scammers
(5) Being a cheapskate
(6) Qualifying too early
(7) Being in your head and not in your heart

If nothing else, you’ve got to check out the new intro I created in Final Cut Pro X . . .

[tfcrew]

Why would all this apply to Ukrainian women apart from any other woman from anywhere else?

[ML]

And how can one come up with the '7 most common?'

Wouldn't that take a survey sample size of several thousands of persons to establish?

(I deleted my last paragraph because I meant my comment to apply to actions in general rather than those 7; but I can see how my sentence did not get my intended idea across    )

[Shadow]

And how can one come up with the '7 most common?'

Wouldn't that take a survey sample size of several thousands of persons to establish?

And who is to say any actions are 'mistakes?'  Perhaps these actions are perfectly good ways to eliminate and screen to help establish compatibility.

Only if you are an overreacting rational paranoid cheapskate with a superiority complex.

[Mark Davis]

Thanks for the questions on the topic.

Allow me to clarify.  I lead singles events to Ukraine. 

This is my list, based on my experience with my clients.

I only have experience in Ukraine.

I do not presume to know all mistakes made by all people with women from other countries or who have not been my clients.

Those who attended the Webinar told me the thought the content was very helpful.

If you're not interested then please ignore.  I think the information is helpful to any new guy, but that's just my opinion. 

[Mark Davis]

By the way, that was a hilarious response, Shadow.

[calmissile]

Excellent video.  I wish I had the benefit of knowing all this before my first trip to Ukraine.  It would have prevented mistakes I have made in the past.

I appreciate the fact that all the information on your web site is free to everyone whether they take your trips or not.  A great service to newbies wanting to to it right, and not make mistakes that bite them later.

The role of the translator and her personal interaction between the two parties was also interesting.  A translator that simply translates conversations, is far short of what you describe your translator does.  Having someone that has a personal interest in the relationship must be a huge advantage.  From your description, it sounds like she is also a coach.  Are these translator/coaches available for later when you are back home and chatting via email or Skype?

Keep up the good work!

[calmissile]

bump

[Admin]

bump

Doug,

Bumping threads is something that is rarely, if ever, done here at RWD. In fact, I think yours is the first I have seen. I recognize the practice from other fora with inferior scripts, but we have always found that natural (with sincere and substantive) responses in topics is a FAR better indicator of popularity than bumping a topic back to the top.

Fortunately, we seem to have no lack of members who enjoy providing opinions on most any topic - so the naturally popular topics end up migrating toward the top of the page during their period of popularity.

- Dan

[calmissile]

Sorry Dan, I have seen it many times on this forum and did not know it was discouraged.  I will refrain from doing it.

[Miri22]

Again with falsehoods.. Calmissle. & his "I can't pot my trip report because Dan might make it a book" but it seems from his posts of surfing he's not committed anyway. Cash my friends.. MOB

[Admin]

Sorry Dan, I have seen it many times on this forum and did not know it was discouraged.  I will refrain from doing it.

No worries.

Now that you mentioned it being done here - I am embarrassed at missing the others earlier.

Thanks Doug,

- Dan

[Admin]

Again with falsehoods.. Calmissle. & his "I can't pot my trip report because Dan might make it a book" but it seems from his posts of surfing he's not committed anyway. Cash my friends.. MOB

Well, well. It looks like I have missed something else.

WTH is this all about?!?

Feel free to send me a PM - especially if this has no redeeming value to our members (as I strongly suspect is the case).

- Dan

[Miri22]

Really Dan?? I'm not sure exposing one of your coveted "hero" white knight members is something you want. Men are capable of seedy acts when the reward is good enough. Public forum, just remember.

[Admin]

Really Dan?? I'm not sure exposing one of your coveted "hero" white knight members is something you want. Men are capable of seedy acts when the reward is good enough. Public forum, just remember.

Yes, REALLY.

I just did a quick scan of your posting history.

You participate ONLY in controversial topics. You post incessantly about other's narcissism. You are fixated on the 'issues' surrounding a "public forum." In the 18 months (or so) you have been here, you have asked one question and contributed virtually nil.

As for your closing sentence - "Public forum, just remember."

I will remind you that I offered - indeed encouraged - that you send me a PM. Instead, you chose to continue to pollute another member's topic with this tripe.

- Dan

[calmissile]

Dan,
If you are inclined, feel free to delete my bump and your admonition as well as the off topic comments she made.  I hate to see a nice thread polluted as you so indicated.

[Eduard]

The role of the translator and her personal interaction between the two parties was also interesting.  A translator that simply translates conversations, is far short of what you describe your translator does.  Having someone that has a personal interest in the relationship must be a huge advantage.  From your description, it sounds like she is also a coach.  Are these translator/coaches available for later when you are back home and chatting via email or Skype?

This is the best approach in today's market IMO. I have been successfuly doing exactly this for the last 6 years and it always works (providing the guy listens and follows my advice). You are on the right track, Mark.

[Mark Davis]

Eduard:


That's high praise coming from you and I appreciate it. 


Yes, we assign each man his own translator/assistant for his entire stay.  Her job is to be his advocate - and you heard it from some of our guys that this is a big difference-maker.  She will give you her read on the ladies your dating as well as cut off any signs of scams (although we do that for the guys ahead of time).


Most guys will stay in touch with their translator when they return home and use her services if needed.

[calmissile]

One of the things I was trying to point out is the combination translator/coach as being different from just a translator that a lot of people hire.  I think the difference is significant and wish I had hired one.

The reason I asked Mark about the availabilty of the same translator when the guy gets back home, is because it seems to me that once she is familiar with the personalities and desires of both people; it would be most efficient to continue to use the same one.  Sorry for the long sentence.

Whether it's through Mark, Ed or another commercial member it seems to make a lot of sense to me.

[tfcrew]

  At times when a topic is well over 30 days old, I will bump it [rather than restart a new thread.]

In response to the thread, there are generalities that would apply to most former Soviet influenced countries.
I winged it alone across Eastern Europe.
Probably because of #5 ..I'm a cheap bastard.

[calmissile]

tfcrew

I winged it alone across Eastern Europe.
Probably because of #5 ..I'm a cheap bastard.

And I must say, a brave one also.   

[Eduard]

One of the things I was trying to point out is the combination translator/coach as being different from just a translator that a lot of people hire.  I think the difference is significant and wish I had hired one.

The reason I asked Mark about the availabilty of the same translator when the guy gets back home, is because it seems to me that once she is familiar with the personalities and desires of both people; it would be most efficient to continue to use the same one.  Sorry for the long sentence.

Whether it's through Mark, Ed or another commercial member it seems to make a lot of sense to me.

The fact that I translate for my guys from the very first hello note is extremely helpful. Basically it helps me help them because I get to know both people involved just as well as they get to know each other. When we do 3-way calls I also chat with a woman in Russian for a while, get a feel for who she is, her background and her personality (the only way to truly understand that is to chat with her in her own language. That's the only way she can be at ease and be herself) and we build a good repore. She usually gets to meet my wife and kids on Skype so she knows I'm a family man who met my wife exactly the same way. So by the time all three of us meet it feels like 3 frieds are meeting and hanging out together, having a good time and lots of fun. It's a very different dynamic from hiring a translator who just meets both of you for the first time and translates without knowing your background and all previous communication that had accured. Cultural and relationship coaching is also extremely important. Many guys can really use help with that in my experience, and when they do pay attention to useful suggestions and coaching it really insures successful outcome.

[mendeleyev]

Mark,

I enjoyed listening to the program despite the limitations in voice quality.

  - Responding to cultural misunderstandings
    - Communicating the right message
    - Being the man she wants to claim as hers
    - Overcoming fears
    - Five-Step formula for Success
    - The art of timing in this condensed format

Here's a short outline.

(1) Overselling yourself
(2) Overreacting
(3) Acting superior
(4) Ghosthunting for scammers
(5) Being a cheapskate
(6) Qualifying too early
(7) Being in your head and not in your heart

You chose good topics and I found myself in agreement with most of the basic concepts. Your counsel on listening and being patient when it comes to misunderstandings or cultural differences will be, I hope, of great value to men who travel to find love. I also found myself appreciating what you had to say about being the man she wants to claim and not overselling yourself.

As someone who has traveled all over the FSU, the limited information I heard applies equally to Russia, Bulgaria, Armenia, Moldova, Georgia, etc. True, in many ways much of this information applies to women all the same all over the world, as often it is not so much the women who are different from country to country but  the perceptions of men who travel and who think they are different.

On the other hand there are some practical things you might consider in one country but shouldn't do in another which are culturally bound.

On the other hand I am a strong defender usually of Russian/Ukrainian men and believe that most of the hype about the bad Russian men is just that -- hype.     Of course the gal says that he was a jerk. Many of our ex wives say the same in many cases. That makes neither case true.

Thank you for sharing your information and experience.

               

[Shadow]

This has the potential to turn in to another debate and commecrial about using a translator as coach. While it may be very useful for some, I always have the feeling that if you use a translator for more is he/she is supposed to do it will certainly influence your choice.
Nothing against arranged marriages, as they work as good as normal ones, but in such cases you will come home with the woman the translator finds best suited for you, not your own choice.

[Eduard]

Nothing against arranged marriages, as they work as good as normal ones, but in such cases you will come home with the woman the translator finds best suited for you, not your own choice.

I disagree, in the end it's always about chemistry and attraction between a girl and a boy. A translator can't create chemistry between them. It is either there or it's not.