Life Changes...Part Deux Part 2

[LiveFromUkraine]

Ever since I saw old guys walking proudly around the locker room at the gym without covering up with a towel    By the way, if you are old, and your pubes are longer than your equipment, you really should trim that carpet down!  Your teenage wife will appreciate being able to locate it

Hell no, when I get old and my pubes go grey I plan on dying them my natural hair color.  Hell, I may get crazy and go blonde with some tints of red streaks.  It should go well with the new sports car I plan on buying for my mid life crisis.


It must suck to go through life getting emotional about what strangers are doing.

[LiveFromUkraine]

 

But it's part of the journey, you non-high-risk-taker you...

Ahem... Sometimes I will jump over those manholes with no net. 

[Daveman]

It must suck to go through life getting emotional about what strangers are doing.

Aaaaaaaaaannnnnnnd... there it is...

[Ooooops]

Online Jewelry Assessment and their Effect on Married Life Happiness - affordable and convenient services!   Only today, only for you!   While the crystal ball lasts! 

[Muzh]

Do you think the nasty old guy with gray pubes kidnapped the girl or keeps her with him at gunpoint?  The reality is those girls make their own choices about who is groping them.  If that is what they want it is their right to have any consenting person grope them they wish.  Maybe it is a stupid choice but young people make stupid choices.  I can look back on many choices I made at a young age that turned out to be very stupid.  That is my right.  My way of learning, my way of finding my way through life.  If I let myself be made sick by any relationship I saw and didn't think was right I would have ulcers in a very short time.  So, I take it you are not a believer in individual rights and free choice.
Time flies.  You will be surprised how quickly you will be one of those old guys walking proudly around the locker room at the gym without covering up with a towel.

TG, I don't want you to jump off your comfy chair (in your avatar) and all but consider the following.
 
You say these young girls made them choices and then you wonder if they were stupid choices.
 
And then you state you realize you made stupid choices when young and are able to recognize them, right?
 
This is what age gives us; the experience of knowing, recognizing, understanding choices. Including stupid choices.
 
So as an older man, I choose not to make a choice because I know it will not be a wise one. Or so I think. Sometimes I make a stupid choice knowingly. But that stupid choice is supposed to affect me directly and no one else.
 
Personally, I don't think it would be fair to go with the gusto at the expense of someone who doesn't know better. That was the reason I told a very young and bright college intern (babe)working in my office why I would not pursue a relationship with her.

[Muzh]

Hell no, when I get old and my pubes go grey I plan on dying them my natural hair color.  Hell, I may get crazy and go blonde with some tints of red streaks.  It should go well with the new sports car I plan on buying for my mid life crisis.


It must suck to go through life getting emotional about what strangers are doing.

DUDE!!! Use a manscaper. Healthier.

[TomT]

It must suck to go through life getting emotional about what strangers are doing.

How is that worse than someone going online to boast about what an accomplished ladies' man that he is?

[LiveFromUkraine]

How is that worse than someone going online to boast about what an accomplished ladies' man that he is?

Since I don't recall saying one was worst than the other, I will assume that question was rhetorical in nature. 

[LiveFromUkraine]

DUDE!!! Use a manscaper. Healthier.

Muzh, I didn't know you were metrosexual. 

[Muzh]

Muzh, I didn't know you were metrosexual. 

Heh, I've learned a lot from my kid brother. 

[TomT]

Since I don't recall saying one was worst than the other, I will assume that question was rhetorical in nature.

You assumed correctly.

[mies]

I'm definitely not saying she is in it for anything other than love, but after looking at all the pics posted, and the expensive clothes, locations, etc..., I can't help but wonder if this marriage would be so successful had Billy not had the money to buy her such nice clothes and take her to such nice places?  And hopefully he has an endless source of $$$, because she seems to really enjoy this kind of lifestyle.

I wonder where did you see expensive clothes. Or locations.
By "this kind of lifestyle" what exactly do you mean? Washing clothes, cooking and taking care of children of a man 20+ years her senior, and pleasuring him in bed twice a day: in the morning because he needs to go to work in good mood and in the evening because he needs to release his stress? Going for road trips to national parks and visiting "Forever 21" stores? And after all these benefits getting lectured on male dominance in the family and society? Come on. Do you think that "this kind of lifestyle" is what every 19yo girl dreams about? 

[mies]

People who feel risk aversion and look at life as a collection of destinations will never understand people who are risk takers and look at life as a journey.
People like BillyB, my husband, KenC, and Gator, they are not intimidated by risk and can enter into a relationship that theoretically and intuitively are of a higher risk of failure. They are rather indifferent to risk considerations because  they are focused on the pleasurable sides of the relationship that a "safe" partner would not provide for them.  Even if the relationship eventually fails, risk takers are fine with that and easy to rebound.

I too think that Billy wins regardless.

[mies]

I'm sorry but, can you explain this 'higher risk' and 'safe' partners? Is there such a thing in marriage?

I think it is partly subjective, as perceived by a risk taker (for some men marrying or having LTR with ANY woman is a high risk, perhaps too high), partly it is responding to the unspoken rules/traditions of the society, partly - common sense, partly the eternal desire to do get the biggest bang for the buck and win the lottery.
Generally, most of us want to be happy, and to meet a good partner who loves us and understands us and meets our expectations and makes our dreams come true and fulfills our desires and so on, and we are afraid to die alone, or be unloved, and things like that. But then if a person is really really good, everyone must want them, so they can choose, and hence they are more likely to choose someone else, someone different. Whereas when the person is OK, but nothing too exciting - maybe they don't have that many choices and we believe that they will be happy if we grant them our attention and loyalty, or love.
So depending on our self-esteem, a partner can be "too good to be true" or "I can do better, but for a while she/he's OK." First one is a high risk-high reward, second one is low-risk and low (but guaranteed) reward.

[mies]

Oh wow you really got me wrong!  That is completely NOT what I was talking about, at all.  All I was saying is if this girl leaves him (and the odds aren't on his side, with this being a second marriage, to a much younger woman, of a different country) he's bound to wish she pulled more weight in the relationship.  But maybe not?  Maybe that's the tradeoff to marrying someone young enough to be a daughter, is that you literally have to support her just like you would a daughter.   What do I know?

So, suppose, Billy has the money for the trips, and he would be buying the same clothes for an older wife too, and if he were married to an older woman he would still be taking her on road trips. Are you saying that just because A is half Billy's age, he should be spending on her what a college student would be spending on her, just because the beauty shouldn't be bought with money? Don't you think that if you want something better than average you should be able to pay for it more than the average price? (in monetary or other terms)

I'm not a fat hairy old man (I'm only 37 and in good shape), but it just makes me sick to think of some teenage (or nearly teenage) girl getting groped upon by some nasty old guy with gray pubes Besides, I prefer to be with someone that if they want to go to school, that they put some effort into making that happen and not expecting daddy-hubby to pay for it.  Or if they want their mother to come visit, they find some way to chip in.  And no it's not about being cheap, it's about being with someone who can do for themselves, and not wanting to feel taken advantage of, especially if the relationship ends.

And you are deluding yourself, because you are old - for a 19yo A, you are as old as her husband is, and your shape is about the same (if not worse) than his. Because you are twice older than her, and more or less in the same generation as Billy. And yes - you are cheap. You want to eat young meat AND make this young meat to chip in??? I still think that if anyone is taken advantage of in this story - this is A. Mom gets visits to USA, Billy gets young wife, what does A get as a compensation for her best years of youth and fun and discovering life? If you, jmana, in your ripe 37 years, do not understand this, then you have no place to go and criticize young wives or their older husbands.

[BillyB]

readers distrust an author's representations of himself especially if he is not honest about his shortcomings.

I don't feel distrust from most of the readers here. Compared to most guys, I've been very open with what's going on in my life which in turns gains trust. Guys can talk all they want about how happy they are but I give visuals. Look at the kind of people I attract and that is the answer to if I have any serious shortcomings.


On another note, it's not normal for people to talk about their shortcomings on a public forum. I don't look highly upon those who say they have problems with drugs, alcohol, gambling, etc... that's messing up their life and family. If they spent more time talking about a solution instead of problems, troubles would go away.

I can't help but wonder if this marriage would be so successful had Billy not had the money to buy her such nice clothes and take her to such nice places?  And hopefully he has an endless source of $$$, because she seems to really enjoy this kind of lifestyle.

A trip to Las Vegas with no gambling or drinking and $80 for an annual pass to get all of us into national parks. Some people think I live the life of kings, presidents, and oligarchs. Others think I live the life of a middle class American.

 
You should take the time to read my other threads and dating experiences. On dates I take RW to decent, not expensive, restaurants and cafes, and then take the for a walk in the park. Gold diggers get tired of men like me fast.


One thing I like about this forum is how people can read the same thing and come to completely different conclusions. Read my thread below that explained how I got to this point. You may end up believing I'm competent and attractive to ladies as some people have or a criminal with the wit of a child molestor as some people concluded.


http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=11638.0

I was once married to someone way out of my league too.

Part of the reason your marriage failed was because you believed that. It may have altered your behavior to which you prevent your wife from leaving the house or having friends or a job, or you put her down often to get her to believe nobody wants her but you. Maybe you just opened your wallet more than you would with a normal woman and your wife respected you less for that.


I don't feel I'm inferior to my wife. I don't even feel I'm equal. When I date ladies, I feel I'm superior in many ways. Ladies behave differently towards men they're dating or married to. You felt you were inferior so you got bad treatment from your ex. I'm not in awe of my wife. My wife beats me in looks but I beat her in mind and life experience.

his wife actually called him ugly.

If you get a woman to date you, marry you, and sleep in your bed everyday for a few years and she one day calls you ugly, do you believe what you're hearing, get defensive and get into an argument or do you let a sense of humor kick in?


Based on your conclusions you and I are very different men. You also got to know a women, married her, and concluded she took you for a ride. Not all beautiful women are like that. How much merit am I going to give your words that my wife is in marriage with me for greed? Did your ex volunteer her time at the church to clean it? Did she volunteer her time to babysit an elderly 95 yo woman and wipe her butt after going to the bathroom. Did she take care of pets like children? Does she hug your parents and grandparents every time she sees them? Does she and you decorate the house on holidays together? Did you do any real family oriented activities together?


You mentioned my wife is telling me to the house. I told her she can have the house how she likes. I do all the labor to install floors, drywall, electrical, plumbing, etc... except she does the paint and anything else within her ablilities. All costs are in materials only but the benefits are she feels she lives in a beautiful home, she can feel proud of accomplishing something and we spent family time together.

People like BillyB, my husband, KenC, and Gator, they are not intimidated by risk and can enter into a relationship that theoretically and intuitively are of a higher risk of failure.

I don't see my marriage as risky. I don't pay attention too much with what goes on in other people's lives. I know what I want and I evaluated my wife enough to understand she values marriage and a husband more than most women. Her values are similar to mine so that make the marriage less risky.

aren't the men you used above have failed in their marriages at least once already?

All men has failed in the romance department at some point in their life. Nothing to be ashamed about. Man fails to get a woman's phone number. Man gets number but fails to get a date. Man gets date but fails to get a second date. Man gets multiple dates but fails to get into a short term relationship. Man has short term relationship but fails to take it into long term. Man has long term relationship but fails to take it to marriage. Man is married but fails to make it to the end. We've all been there.


People shouldn't be judged on how they failed but how they finish. Thomas Edison failed at making the light bulb thousands of times before he got it right. Abraham Lincoln was born into poverty, forced out of a home, lost his mother, started a business and went bankrupt, his first fiancée died, and he lost most of the elections he was in except the last one.


Men at this forum who are divorced and single shouldn't be depressed. They are in a wonderful position to do much better. I did.

How is that worse than someone going online to boast about what an accomplished ladies' man that he is?

Who's boasting? Me? Tom, you're one of the very few people who believes what you just said and follow me around the forum with hostilities. Think about it. It's you have the problem. In the past you wrote about your adventures to the FSU, dating experiences and even had a 19 year old RW correspond with you when you were 50. Why did you feel a need to say those things on the forum? Boasting? I just assumed you were sharing your experiences and it's why you don't see me riding your ass everywhere on the forum.

Do you think that "this kind of lifestyle" is what every 19yo girl dreams about?

The story's been going on for a few years now. My wife's past drinking age but does women of any age dream about pleasuring her man? I think it's up to each individual regardless of age.

pleasuring him in bed twice a day: in the morning because he needs to go to work in good mood and in the evening because he needs to release his stress?

Why only twice a day? Sex is like brushing your teeth. It should be done twice daily and in between meals.

I wonder where did you see expensive clothes.
 

I told my wife that my business was barely surviving during the bad economy. I had to bid jobs low enough just to keep everybody working but not for a profit. My wife has responded by watching what she spends. She has even went to Goodwill, a second hand store for some clothes. She won't wear used clothes but find new designer clothes people gave away to the store. The most expensive clothes she's worn is a $600 dress she bought for $200 on clearance at a high end department store. That is the dress she wore in our honeymoon dinner date. You've all seen that dress and clothes from Goodwill worth just a few dollars in photos. My wife has good style and she doesn't need to spend a million dollars to look like a million dollars. JFI, I never told my wife to shop at Goodwill or any second hand store. A family member of mine invited her shopping one day and one of the places they stopped at was Goodwill and she wanted to go back occasionally. She likes when she can buy designer clothes for a fraction of the price.


Now, much of my competition has went out of business these past few years. The work out there is still scare and economy isn't great yet but with less competition I can bid high and win jobs. Last year the biggest job I won was worth over $800,000 and I made a few hundred thousand dollars. This year my biggest job is worth over 1.3 million and I'm sure that will be profitable. I do earthwork and utilities and the photo below is what a 1.3 million job looks like for my scope of work.


If business is doing good, my wife will reap the benefits too. A good wife can help make a man by keeping him happy. A bad wife can break him.

[mies]

My wife has good style and she doesn't need to spend a million dollars to look like a million dollars.

She doesn't look like a million dollars - not her physique of course, but the way she dresses. Although it's nice you think otherwise.  If she were able to spend more, and knew how and where to apply these spending - she could easily look million dollars.
This is why I think that her "compensation" is rather modest and she clearly isn't a gold-digger. A citizenship digger- perhaps. But she pays a very high price for it.

As for this:

but does women of any age dream about pleasuring her man? I think it's up to each individual regardless of age.

  - I am not quite sure what do you mean. Do you mean that women of every age dream about pleasuring her man, or that it's up to each woman what to dream about and whether to pleasure herself or her man. Please, clarify what you are talking about. Thank you. 

[TS]

I will admit I did not like BillyB's relationship at first however the more I read about his life they make a good match.
His wife is looking for a father figure amd BillyB likes to be controlling.  This relationship can work because of this.  Now the MIL seems a little off and at some time BillyB will need to get her married to some one so him and his wife can spend time a lone together.  MIL and whoever was the father never really parented his wife - so BillyB is both father and husband. 
His wife is a normal looking girl.  Most girls that age are slim and in good shape no matter where they come from. 

[BillyB]

This is why I think that her "compensation" is rather modest and she clearly isn't a gold-digger. A citizenship digger- perhaps.

Your feelings are normal. Ask anyone foreign or domestic and they'd tell you that you and my wife came here for money and/or green card and your husband and I are losers who can't find a woman at home. The stereotypes will never go away but if a man and women marry a quality person, they will be winners. I have been to visajourney and looked at people's photos there. I seen very overweight American women married to slim, good looking, Arab and African men. I even find myself questioning the motives of the women and men they marry but in the end the question is, are they happy? Are they in a better place now than if they were single and lonely? The answer is most likely yes.


Everybody in my life who has met my wife likes her. A has been here over two years. If her goal is the green card, she is free to leave. What happens to me? I will find another quality woman. Some men like variety in their lives so it's not all bad.

- I am not quite sure what do you mean. Do you mean that women of every age dream about pleasuring her man, or that it's up to each woman what to dream about and whether to pleasure herself or her man. Please, clarify what you are talking about. Thank you.   

It's up to each woman regardless of age although people tend to be more selfish in their youth. Do you desire making your husband happy? Although you may not like chores but are you happy washing his clothes, cleaning house and preparing a meal for him? Do you rock his boat in bed or lay there like a dead horse? Do you think of the things you can do for him to make him happy more than the things he can do for you? The same can be said for men. Your husband may not like to work but he may do it everyday to earn income to support you so that you may have a comfortable and good life. It's better to be married to givers than takers. When there are two givers in marriage, life is better.

I will admit I did not like BillyB's relationship at first however the more I read about his life they make a good match.
 

I never felt a need to get my parents approval for my marriage but it's good to know there are anonymous people here who feel important enough to publicly announce their approvals. Thanks for your support. My life is now complete.

BillyB likes to be controlling. 
 

Yes, that is my secret to making women happy and smiling. Some people say I'm in control, others say I'm getting used. Go figure.

His wife is a normal looking girl.

That's excellent news for the single men in this endeavor that my wife looks like the average looking Slavic women. Do you roll with average looking women of good looking? Before you answer, keep in mind some people may request photographic evidence.

[mies]

It's up to each woman regardless of age although people tend to be more selfish in their youth. Do you desire making your husband happy? Although you may not like chores but are you happy washing his clothes, cleaning house and preparing a meal for him? Do you rock his boat in bed or lay there like a dead horse? Do you think of the things you can do for him to make him happy more than the things he can do for you? The same can be said for men. Your husband may not like to work but he may do it everyday to earn income to support you so that you may have a comfortable and good life.

I still do not understand what are you talking about.

Yes, my husband is wonderful and generous, but he doesn't go to work for me or to provide the lifestyle for me. He would have exactly the same job and the same lifestyle with or without me. I earn for my needs myself and contribute to family budget quite substantially. I would be doing the same thing I am doing, and would have equally comfortable and good life with or without my husband. My presence in the family is a financial plus, not a minus. In addition, I bring many other benefits to our relationship, so does my husband.  I am not a cleaning lady and I do not find pride in washing/cleaning/cooking. I do it, sure, so does my husband. But to be happy about it? Are you normally happy after taking a shower or urinating successfully? It's a basic need. It never crossed my mind to be specifically happy about it.

[Muzh]

Your feelings are normal. Ask anyone foreign or domestic and they'd tell you that you and my wife came here for money and/or green card and your husband and I are losers who can't find a woman at home.
 

That depends on who you mingle with. All I heard was: Oooo, that's the most romantic thing I ever heard.
 

The stereotypes will never go away but if a man and women marry a quality person, they will be winners. I have been to visajourney and looked at people's photos there. I seen very overweight American women married to slim, good looking, Arab and African men. I even find myself questioning the motives of the women and men they marry but in the end the question is, are they happy? Are they in a better place now than if they were single and lonely? The answer is most likely yes.

Exactly, it takes one to know one.

Everybody in my life who has met my wife likes her. A has been here over two years. If her goal is the green card, she is free to leave. What happens to me? I will find another quality woman. Some men like variety in their lives so it's not all bad.

Don't forget to give Northkape a call for some pointers.

It's up to each woman regardless of age although people tend to be more selfish in their youth. Do you desire making your husband happy? Although you may not like chores but are you happy washing his clothes, cleaning house and preparing a meal for him?
 

Not so sure about that. The maids at the hotels always look very happy when they are cleaning your room and they don't live with you.
 
 

Do you rock his boat in bed or lay there like a dead horse? Do you think of the things you can do for him to make him happy more than the things he can do for you? The same can be said for men. Your husband may not like to work but he may do it everyday to earn income to support you so that you may have a comfortable and good life. It's better to be married to givers than takers. When there are two givers in marriage, life is better.

LMFAO
 
I love your work duties separation by gender.
 

[Muzh]

I still do not understand what are you talking about.

 
 
 
Please Mies when you do, would you mind sharing with the rest of us?

[Daveman]

Are you normally happy after taking a shower

Yes!  It's a monthly celebration whether needed or not!

or urinating successfully?

Yes again!! As long as I maintain the marksman accuracy, OR, the beautiful and stylish flair in my sneg italic.

[mies]

Do you desire making your husband happy?
Do you rock his boat in bed or lay there like a dead horse?

Perhaps you never thought of it that way, but some people believe that the best lovers get great pleasure from their partner/spouse, and whatever they do, they primarily do to pleasure themselves. So they are by default selfish during sailing. But sure, they know what their partner likes and try to take that into account too. Or ideally, they and their partner like the same things, so they are perfectly compatible, and each one pleases self, while the other person receives gratification too. There is a significant difference between acting as an "alive horse" or living through this experience. Compare the experience of spending the time with the high-paid prostitute who is with you "to please you" (for money) vs. your lover/partner/spouse who has both experience and feelings/passion/lust for you, and you'll get the idea.

Didn't your MIL explain to you these basics?

[fathertime]

Yes, my husband is wonderful and generous, but he doesn't go to work for me or to provide the lifestyle for me. He would have exactly the same job and the same lifestyle with or without me. 

What a happy load of horsecrap!  How do you KNOW what your husband's lifestyle would be, or if he would be working at the same job.   He could have made more of himself if he were single, or maybe he would have made much less. 


 You have a lot to learn about men if you really believe the silliness you just typed.


Fathertime!