Why your woman don't help you?

[Muzh]

Maybe for you, but not for me.

Well, DUH! Of course it was the sex. Whassamatar wit you?

Are you one of those bible-thumpers?

[Muzh]

You can't know if you have met 'the one' until you meet several.

You fibber. It IS the sex.

What else do you use to "compare?" Fingernails? Maybe exchanging handbags?

C'mon.

[GoodOlBoy]

What else do you use to "compare?" Fingernails? Maybe exchanging handbags?

Have you forgotten about his little collection of battery operated "toys" Muzh? 
 
GOB

[Olly]

And you can buy a husband, but you can't buy the love.

I mean not YOU, ML! I said IN GENERAL!
And I can't to buy a husband cos I have no money but I have a lot of love to give!

[Isthmus]

Hello, new here 

Just returned from my first foray into the FSU.

The lady I met when there took an active interest in my vacation planning and offered to help but I told her I was a seasoned traveller and could sort it all out on-line well before I travelled.

When I arrived she waited for me at the airport, had a taxi waiting, took me to the apartment I booked and translated between the landlord and myself (his English was about the level of my Russian, lol). 

If a lady doesn't take an active interest in the organisation of you trip that should be a warning sign to the man I am afraid.

[Olly]

Hello, new here 

Just returned from my first foray into the FSU.

Great! Welcome!
What city you visited?

[ML]

I can't to buy a husband cos I have no money . . .

Some people (but not me) say:  "You get what you pay for."   

[ML]

You fibber. It IS the sex.

What else do you use to "compare?" Fingernails? Maybe exchanging handbags?

C'mon.

I have a spread sheet that I fill out over time for each gal for the comparison.

Rows for several running distances, mostly 100 meter and 1,500 meter.
Then there are the long jumps and high jumps.
Swimming also.
No hurdles, because I don't want her to risk damaging some parts.
And no javelin throw because I don't want to give them ideas.

Then on to the cooking categories; breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Must be able to make the standards, but also graded on creativity.
A real test is to not have certain ingredients; but insist she must make a certain dish.  See how she handles it.

And, of course, clothes washing, ironing . . . and correct folding of T-shirts (yes there is a correct way).

Then there are the marks for music abilities.  Good singer required, and play at least two instruments is a big plus.
Also the type of music enjoyed.  This can be a real killer.

Temperature desired for inside house; also a critical one.

Time them from moment you suddenly say, "Let's to go X event," until  they are ready to walk out door.  Anything over 10 minutes is automatic disqualifier.

The list goes on and on.

It's a real burden and PIA  . . . for the man to record and evaluate all this.

[ML]

Have you forgotten about his little collection of battery operated "toys" Muzh? 
 
GOB

These are very useful.  For instance, it is the final quarter of FB game and your  team is behind by 4 points.  Then the inconsiderate gal comes into your view and pulls up her T-shirt showing absence of panties.

Quick . . . lead her into bedroom, lay her down, flip the switch on, hand it to her . . . and rush back to the game.

Or in morning when you are running  late for meeting, but  she grabs your equipment as you are trying to get out of bed.  She  thinks your morning wood means you are interested . . . but doesn't yet know (even after years) that you are just interested in a pee.

She says, 'OK go pee, and then come back to me.'
You come back alright,  but you hand her the item and say, 'here, see how many times you can finish before I can finish shaving.' 

Almost unlimited usefulness.

[Isthmus]

Great! Welcome!
What city you visited?

Xapьков 

Liked it, a lovely city   

[Muzh]

Xapьков 

Liked it, a lovely city   

That's my wife's city of origin. Been there many times.

[Vasilisa]

Tell me, guys, why you don't ask your girl to help you? You want to meet your girl ( I mean ONE girl but not the agency shop with dozens of women) in her city and she don't help you look for apartment. You want to meet her in third country and she don't try to find tickets for herself.
You spend your money, pay for her trip, restaurants, gifts for her and her family and she can't move her ass to use internet and make a few calls to help you.
Im sorry but I don't understand. It means only one - she is not interested in you seriously.

Olly, several months ago I actually expressed my opinions on that. Every time you put a lot of efforts into a relationship or into someone it's never appreciated and the guy just moves on. Every time you invest in yourself instead and letting the man be the man  and do it all it's appreciated and you are loved. Just an observation. The men just love the ladies that love themelves instead of jumping around the men.

[newjason]

I mean not YOU, ML! I said IN GENERAL!
And I can't to buy a husband cos I have no money but I have a lot of love to give!

Sorry to join in so late in this dscussion, but here are my thoughts..

Ollly,
If I should ever have the good fortune of being in correspondence with a woman such as yourself, I surely would get on a plane and go visit her and just her without a second thought. Of course I would be sure to have the feelings of love and assume that she would feel this as well. Further I would totally ask her to help with all the logistical details on her end, but I suspect If I felt this way about her, then she would already be on it
I would expect we would work together to make the trip a success, because that's what successful couples do, work together toward a common goal.
So do understand you. 
But the romantics of the world are few and far between it seems.

[ML]

Olly, several months ago I actually expressed my opinions on that. Every time you put a lot of efforts into a relationship or into someone it's never appreciated and the guy just moves on. Every time you invest in yourself instead and letting the man be the man  and do it all it's appreciated and you are loved. Just an observation. The men just love the ladies that love themselves instead of jumping around the men.

I disagree with this;  from the man's perspective.

I very much do appreciate it when the woman pitches in to help.

Now, if it is a bad match and the woman (man) is not what was portrayed in terms of previous writing, pictures, etc., then the deal will ultimately fall through.  All of the person's previous good help cannot overcome these situations. 

This is where the hard feelings develop.  The man (woman) thinks . . . I did all of this and then was rejected.

[Muzh]

I disagree with this;  from the man's perspective.

I very much do appreciate it when the woman pitches in to help.

Now, if it is a bad match and the woman (man) is not what was portrayed in terms of previous writing, pictures, etc., then the deal will ultimately fall through.  All of the person's previous good help cannot overcome these situations. 

This is where the hard feelings develop.  The man (woman) thinks . . . I did all of this and then was rejected.

May I suggest you don't do this? The man (woman) thinks...

I'll explain

As you mentioned, from a man's perspective, you have described what normally goes through a man's thoughts.

She is fatter than her pictures.
She looks older than her pictures.
Her ass is too big.
Her boobs are to small.

Nope, no chemistry.

Of course I'm generalizing, but many men will be thinking this as they go on a quest for "the one."

Now, from a female perspective it is very different.

You can be fatter than your pictures.
You'll never look younger that what you are.
You have a beer gut.
Your Johnson happens to be John.

STILL, a woman will look deeper into a man's soul AND IF there is something she likes THEN you MAY have a chance. Sometimes Little John will lose.

My point is, do not use the same ruler to measure the same conclusion.


 

[Misha]

Now, from a female perspective it is very different.

You can be fatter than your pictures.
You'll never look younger that what you are.
You have a beer gut.
Your Johnson happens to be John.

STILL, a woman will look deeper into a man's soul AND IF there is something she likes THEN you MAY have a chance.

Sure, and when I step outside, there is still a chance that I will be struck be lightening, but it is unlikely. Most women are just as fixated on looks as men IMVHO 

[Vasilisa]

I disagree with this;  from the man's perspective.

I very much do appreciate it when the woman pitches in to help.

I was writing about MY experience.

It doesn't mean I don't want to take care of the man and don't want to help him, but as soon as you start doing something like that they may thank you but forget about it pretty soon or take it for granted.. and .... move on  , only the men with damaged personality would expect this, more like mommy's boy type or narcissists,  most normal  men just have a different type of approach, I guess, the hunters' one. The more they invest in the relationship and more they do to achieve the lady's attention  and impress her the better they treat her and appreciate her attention and the relationship. 
So I'd say make some small presents to the guy, maybe hand made stuff like knitted mittens or a warm scarf when he is coming in cold winter , or a great self-made dinner with an amazing cake by the time he comes to your city or something like that, but taking care of big things when dating.. just let the man be the man. Take better care of the family when you have one, that's what is truly appreciated.

[ML]

It doesn't mean I don't want to take care of the man and don't want to help him, but as soon as you start doing something like that they may thank you but forget about it pretty soon or take it for granted.. and .... move on

As soon as you start doing things for the woman, they don't even thank you, and forget about it pretty soon or take it for granted . . and ... move on

So I'd say make some small presents to the guy . . . a great self-made dinner with an amazing cake . . .

It only counts if it is a chocolate cake !!

[Vasilisa]

OK, ML, I think there's something seriously wrong with you today.

 If you can not see the difference between a man and a woman you should look for professional help.

FSU countries is definitely not a good place for you to look for women because, you see, most of us are not feminists and love all those traditional men-women kind of relationship, not equal "partner-partner" kind of relationship. If that's what you are looking for you'd better start looking in Western Europe or the USA.
But even if you read famous American psychologists like John Gray:"Men are from Mars , women are from Venus" he still distinguishes the sexual roles and differences in behavior, even in the western society.

This book will help you to distinguish fundamental differences between the genders other than the visible ones and the way men and women see the same actions and react to the same events.

[ML]

OK, ML, I think there's something seriously wrong with you today.

Why just today ?? 

If you can not see the difference between a man and a woman you should look for professional help.

Why go to that expense.  Later, I am going to shower with my Gal and check this situation out.  Should I report to you what I see?   

[Vasilisa]

Poor woman. Give her my condolences.

[ML]

Poor woman. Give her my condolences.

Vasilisa, in all of the threads that you started, telling of your experiences with various men . . .  did anyone here say to you . . . "give these men my condolences?"

[Slumba]

Vasilisa, in all of the threads that you started, telling of your experiences with various men . . .  did anyone here say to you . . . "give these men my condolences?"

Take it like a man, ML ... that would be my advice.

[ML]

Take it like a man, ML ... that would be my advice.

Yes, I can.

Just want to make it clear about the double standard though.
Women can say/do anything.  Men who do the same are killed here.

[LAman]

Vasilisa, in all of the threads that you started, telling of your experiences with various men . . .  did anyone here say to you . . . "give these men my condolences?"

Correct me if i am wrong....but i don't remember Visilisa saying she was about to shower with a guy!!!