Insight from Russian wife

[kennethsc]

mi, thanks. I've built pedestals before...and was beat over the head with them.

[ML]

ML, thanks. I've built pedestals before...and was beat over the head with them.

That is the typical outcome.   

[vwrw]

a good joke, bad moment to bring it up. When I heard jokes like that in the past (happened once or twice), I used to say "no, you will be my sex slave."

Ha-ha. 


Nobody told such a joke to me..but if they did, I would answer the same way as you did but omitting "sex" because the male slave-hood would not be limited to only sexual aspects of our relationship, it would  extend to working on other items of "honey do list" too. 

[Anotherkiwi]

  back!  I've been wondering where you were!
 

...Nobody told such a joke to me..but if they did, I would answer the same way as you did but omitting "sex" because the male slave-hood would not be limited to only sexual aspects of our relationship, it would  extend to working on other items of "honey do list" too. 

But surely Turbo should be enjoying his retirement years with a beautiful RW...unless, of course, he likes being a slave  !

[Belvis]

the male slave-hood would not be limited to only sexual aspects of our relationship, it would  extend to working on other items of "honey do list" too. 

So the  the robber in the story below was lucky enough not falling in your hands?
English version: http://www.england-moscow.com/2009/09/hairdresser-turns-robber-into-sex-slave.html

More full version in russian: http://www.newsru.ru/crime/14apr2009/rapeforrobkaluga.html

[Muzh]

Yeah, neither one of you are the heads of your homes.  Hehehehehehehe.

Yea.


Lily, there is no problem treating my woman as a queen; as long as I'm the king.

Trust me. It IS a lot of fun that some around here would never understand.

[vwrw]

back!  I've been wondering where you were!
 
But surely Turbo should be enjoying his retirement years with a beautiful RW...unless, of course, he likes being a slave  !

Thanks for your welcome!


Studies, work, friends, and living life outside the online world were hectic for me lately.


Turbo and retirement are incompatible notions. Too much inner energy does not let him to stay still on a "rocking chair" before TV. Sometimes you can see news reports about people like him...they work past their 90s. Long ago he delegated those responsibilities that he does not enjoy to others,  and now he does only the things that bring joy in his life. A woman (Russian or not) who wants enjoy her "golden age" would be unhappy with Turbo. She would be complaining about his being busy all the time.


How are you doing yourself? Any progress in finding the right one?

[vwrw]

So the  the robber in the story below was lucky enough not falling in your hands?
English version: http://www.england-moscow.com/2009/09/hairdresser-turns-robber-into-sex-slave.html

More full version in russian: http://www.newsru.ru/crime/14apr2009/rapeforrobkaluga.html

Amazing! [size=78%] [/size]Real life sometimes is more weird than a fantasy that has gone wild.   

[BBC]

Yea.

Lily, there is no problem treating my woman as a queen; as long as I'm the king.

Trust me. It IS a lot of fun that some around here would never understand.

+1
I’d rather think that the real Queen is the one who wants to see the King next to her, not a slave.

Also, if the Queen starts treating her King as a slave, it's very probable that he will turn his loving looks towards her pretty and non-bossy maidservant   .

[Photo Guy]

In my eyes, the second question would be of more importance then the first one. Actually, I asked it in order to see what is basically a 'royal treatment' for someone, as I was not quite sure about the meaning. In my view, some FSU women may incidentally get it as a spoiling treatment, where one is a king and the other is slave. In the thread, people noticed that. Suggest not to use this term with the FSU people.
Treating with disrespect is not a contrary for the royal treatment, you know. These are just two different things that are seen on completely different types of people. You should not even think of disrespectful people, you are not related to them. If I correctly understand you, treating life a queen basically equals to a normal treatment. Right? If it is, just forget it an don't use the term.

Lily, treating a woman like a 'queen' or the royal treatment, means that you are acting a little like her servant, as though she is of a higher status than you. This means that you pamper her, you do everything to make her happy. You make her a favorite meal. You give her flowers every day. You have her favorite shows on TV. Her opinions and desires are considered to be more important than anyone else's. She is the 'queen'. Normal treatment would be more like the two people are equal, with equal needs and desires. The 'royal' treatment refers to a very special treatment. The queen is a very very special person, and we could be the loyal 'servant'. Psychologically, the 'queen' is placed high, on a pedestal. The rest of us are down here. It is nice to treat a woman this way on special occasions, like Woman's Day, or Valentine's Day, but to do it every day would require the man to be a saint. Lower standards are easier to maintain over time...

[calmissile]

Wow.  Not sure where all this is going.   American men like to view their wives on a pedestal as a 'queen'.  It is not derogatory nor does it mean that he or she is a servant.   American men that are in love are truly ' in love' and think their wives are the greatest thing since..... XXXX.

Hopefully the wives understand this.  It is not a power struggle nor a class struggle.  We are committed and dedicate our lives to the family which includes the wife and any children.

[Lily]

Lily, treating a woman like a 'queen' or the royal treatment, means that you are acting a little like her servant, as though she is of a higher status than you. This means that you pamper her, you do everything to make her happy. You make her a favorite meal. You give her flowers every day. You have her favorite shows on TV. Her opinions and desires are considered to be more important than anyone else's. She is the 'queen'. Normal treatment would be more like the two people are equal, with equal needs and desires. The 'royal' treatment refers to a very special treatment. The queen is a very very special person, and we could be the loyal 'servant'. Psychologically, the 'queen' is placed high, on a pedestal. The rest of us are down here. It is nice to treat a woman this way on special occasions, like Woman's Day, or Valentine's Day, but to do it every day would require the man to be a saint. Lower standards are easier to maintain over time...

PhotoGuy, that is what I initially thought a royal treatment would mean. It is no good for the relationships. However, it turned not to be what did kennethsc meant, in his words.

[Photo Guy]

Also, when I said, 'servant' that was not derogatory at all. I've known quite a few women who do NOT want to be placed high on a pedestal...because they are aware of their own imperfections.

[Turboguy]

[size=78%]  [/size]
But surely Turbo should be enjoying his retirement years with a beautiful RW...unless, of course, he likes being a slave  !

Being a slave isn't too bad if you have a good master.  I have a good master.  Retirement?   I work 11 hours a day 7 days a week and then come home and my master puts me to work on her too do list.  So much for retirement.

[Turboguy]

Lily, treating a woman like a 'queen' or the royal treatment, means that you are acting a little like her servant, as though she is of a higher status than you.

Welcome back Doug,  Long time no see.  I do think treating a woman like a queen can sometimes be the worst thing a guy can do in a relationship.  Many but not all women instead of appreciating that you care and treat her special will start taking you for granted, using you and stop putting any effort into the relationship.  Sometimes people value things more that they have to work for.  I always enjoyed treating a woman special and one of the many things I like about my wife is that she does seem to appreciate it, at least for the most part.  I also appreciate it that when I can't, she understands. 

[Photo Guy]

Amen. I am no expert, but I think you have to 'pace' yourself. I think it's a good idea to be generally 'gracious' and not allow small things to become huge obstacles. The ability to forgive is important. Are you considerate of each other? Are you sensitive to her needs? Is there loyalty? Knowing that you are both committed to each other, makes it easier to handle the bumps in the road. A sense of humor really helps....  Hey, good to be back!  -doug
PS Yes Ray- The queen/servant relationship can become too unbalanced. Instead it should be more like 'queen/king'.

[ML]

I have a little bit of the opposite situation.

My Gal does too much for me, and more and more I am letting her do it.

Some are little things, but they add up.

Examples:

She walks to get the mail and newspaper every day.  This is about a quarter mile.  At first, when she said she was heading out, I would say, "No, I will do it today."  But now . . . I just let her.  Yes, of course we could walk together, but some times it is not convenient.

She picks up all the dishes etc., from table after a meal.  At first, I insisted on picking up at least my own dishes, but now . . . I just let her.

When we are watching TV, and someone needs to get up to get something, she does it quickly.  At first, I insisted that I do it  some of the time.  Now . . . I just let her.

Many, many other small things that I have stopped doing, and am perhaps getting a little lazy.  But she does things so quickly, effortlessly and with a smile . . . it is easy to just let her.  An 'age gap' does make a difference in energy level.

I will be in in deep 'do do' if I subsequently end up with a typical woman . . . who has to 'retrain' me.

Once a week or so, I think to myself,  why is she here with me and treating me so well.

Faking it; possible, but seems a faker would not . . . (just one example)

Come back three times to kiss me when she was getting ready to leave for school; as she did today and on many other days.

Yes, we all have a lot of problems with these FSU gals !!!

[kennethsc]

PhotoGuy, that is what I initially thought a royal treatment would mean. It is no good for the relationships. However, it turned not to be what did kennethsc meant, in his words.

Lily, thanks. You're perceptive. I think my problem has been solved. My lady made a trip to Miass last May and has drifted away ever since. The visa was approved, consular fee and innoculations paid for but the last five months have seen very few, very cold emails. The visa expires in late Feb. and I haven't heard a word from her in a month. She doesn't answer the phone and won't skype with me so I guess she found someone else.

[ML]

I haven't heard a word from her in a month. She doesn't answer the phone and won't skype with me so I guess she found someone else.

This is the common way for FSU folks (men and women) to end a business or personal relationship.

It's because they are more 'cultured' and 'intelligent' than us.

[Ranetka]

This is the common way for FSU folks (men and women) to end a business or personal relationship.

It's because they are more 'cultured' and 'intelligent' than us.

American man would NEVER  drop a woman like that, of course....


ML, stop being a hypocrite, you are better than that.

[ML]

American man would NEVER  drop a woman like that, of course....


ML, stop being a hypocrite, you are better than that.

I have never done it.

And also, for the sake of discussion and clarity . . .
let's distinguish between 'after an exchange of initial emails' and
'after a more lengthy serious relationship, personal or business.'

[jone]

Lily, thanks. You're perceptive. I think my problem has been solved. My lady made a trip to Miass last May and has drifted away ever since. The visa was approved, consular fee and innoculations paid for but the last five months have seen very few, very cold emails. The visa expires in late Feb. and I haven't heard a word from her in a month. She doesn't answer the phone and won't skype with me so I guess she found someone else.

This is great.  She doesn't deserve you.  You will find someone much better.  -j

[Ranetka]

I have never done it.

And also, for the sake of discussion and clarity . . .
let's distinguish between 'after an exchange of initial emails' and
'after a more lengthy serious relationship, personal or business.'

You have never done it, well done you.


I had it happened to me, more than once. People do this, men, women, all nationalities. Easier for them, painful when it happens to us.


This girl is keeping him on back burner.

[calmissile]

I have a little bit of the opposite situation.

My Gal does too much for me, and more and more I am letting her do it.

Some are little things, but they add up.

Examples:

She walks to get the mail and newspaper every day.  This is about a quarter mile.  At first, when she said she was heading out, I would say, "No, I will do it today."  But now . . . I just let her.  Yes, of course we could walk together, but some times it is not convenient.

She picks up all the dishes etc., from table after a meal.  At first, I insisted on picking up at least my own dishes, but now . . . I just let her.

When we are watching TV, and someone needs to get up to get something, she does it quickly.  At first, I insisted that I do it  some of the time.  Now . . . I just let her.

Many, many other small things that I have stopped doing, and am perhaps getting a little lazy.  But she does things so quickly, effortlessly and with a smile . . . it is easy to just let her.  An 'age gap' does make a difference in energy level.

I will be in in deep 'do do' if I subsequently end up with a typical woman . . . who has to 'retrain' me.

Once a week or so, I think to myself,  why is she here with me and treating me so well.

Faking it; possible, but seems a faker would not . . . (just one example)

Come back three times to kiss me when she was getting ready to leave for school; as she did today and on many other days.

Yes, we all have a lot of problems with these FSU gals !!!

Funny thing, I noticed the same thing when my current Gal and I were together.  I inititally thought it might be temporary but she actually seems to enjoy doing the little things to please me.  Since your experience is much longer than mine (ours), I am encouraged that some women might actually enjoy this behavior.

Of course I reciprocate in other ways (when she allows it).   LOL

[kennethsc]

You have never done it, well done you.


I had it happened to me, more than once. People do this, men, women, all nationalities. Easier for them, painful when it happens to us.


This girl is keeping him on back burner.

Renetka,
I think you're right. I sent the affidavit of support three weeks ago because she said she needed it. Even though I've had nothing but cold business-like emails for months.
I have no idea if she even still wants to come.