Haven't met, she's cold and aloof, but gonna get married!

[BillyB]

However, since her business trip she has become distant and almost cold. The emails come about every three weeks.

After the little you wrote, it's easy to figure out why she went cold.
 
You seem to be in a financial bind taking care of yourself and your mother. You have little else to adequately take care of a wife.
 
You can't take a few days off to visit this lady since you take care of your mother. She may think you are really in a financial bind or if you do have money you don't have much free time for her when she arrives to cruise around on the weekends or take a week off to go to Hawaii.
 
The rest of your family doesn't help you take care of mother so you can get free time. Your lady probably thinks you have a hostile family environment. It's big reds flags in a family when kids don't care about their parents or parents don't care about their kids.
 
Add that all together with the fact she's giving up her job and leaving all her family and friends, marrying a man she's never met, it's clearly understandable why she went cold. Too many red flags on your end.
 
My suggestion is to slow down and visit her. The paperwork takes time to process but while it's processing, go visit her. You both need to make an educated decision about each other before marrying and you can't do that long distance.

[GQBlues]

Haven't met, she's cold and aloof, but gonna get married!

LOL! Well, good for you!

[Ade]

I suspect someone is yanking the collective forums's chain.


Seriously, with a story like that and a picture of a dude that looks way too much like a Uncle Bob the redneck...

[Hammer2722]

There is no way in hell I see this guy getting approved for the K1. If it gets to the interview stage it will be shot down once the consular officer sees this relationship for what it really is. A SHAM!

[Faux Pas]

I suspect someone is yanking the collective forums's chain.


Seriously, with a story like that and a picture of a dude that looks way too much like a Uncle Bob the redneck...

Truth is often stranger than fiction and he hasn't really provided enough to make a determination either way. Shreds of both truth and fiction in his story so far. There are some who believe in the old "mail order bride" concept.

There is no way in hell I see this guy getting approved for the K1. If it gets to the interview stage it will be shot down once the consular officer sees this relationship for what it really is. A SHAM!

So where's the "SHAM" in the story so far? Him shamming the forum?, she shamming him?, USCIS shamming him or him shamming her? Like you I don't see a K-1 happening here. It doesn't meet much of the criteria but, she easily could arrive on another type visa

[BillyB]

There is no way in hell I see this guy getting approved for the K1. If it gets to the interview stage it will be shot down once the consular officer sees this relationship for what it really is. A SHAM!

I checked it out and according to the website below, having a medical condition is the best way to obtain a waiver for not meeting in person. If true the OP is the primary caregiver for his mother who may need daily or even hourly assistance, the OP has a medical condition he has to take care of even if it's not his own.
 
http://blog.usvisasupport.com/?p=353#

[Shadow]

Kenneth might you be able to describe what you have to offer this woman once she sets foot in your home ?
If its nothing more as a disabled mother needing help, then what other qualities do you posses that would make a business woman give up her life and join you?

[mies]

On the other hand guys..May I suggest a scenario that does not include scam? Personally, I 'd never learn about all MOB scam if not this esteemed forum .
Kenneth is not going to marry a person that he never met. He plans to meet her and to hold her in his arms soon. A purpose of the fiancee visa includes an opportunity for people to meet for an extended time before they decide to get married or not. In addition, she does her visa and related expenses on her own dime. If they don't click in person, she will have to return back to her country. The risks are hers, not his.
How is that? Just seeing the situation from a scam free point.

I agree. Looks reasonable to me:
- he can't visit her, then she must visit him
- the only appropriate visa for her is a fiancee visa
- he need to get a waiver for fiancee visa application because they never met, and he did

He should be clear, and tell this to the woman, that she is not coming to USA to marry. She is coming to USA to visit him - this is their first meeting. A visit may result in marriage or may not. She doesn't have to stay all 3 months. She can leave USA sooner if they both see the marriage isn't going to happen. Hence, the woman should not be quitting her job. She should get a regular vacation, and later on when she is already in USA, if things go well - she should ask for the unpaid extension of the vacation. If they get married - she will quite her job and stay in the USA.

[mies]

Kenneth might you be able to describe what you have to offer this woman once she sets foot in your home ?
If its nothing more as a disabled mother needing help, then what other qualities do you posses that would make a business woman give up her life and join you?

and I fully agree with this opinion as well.

[Manny]

I suspect someone is yanking the collective forums's chain.


Seriously, with a story like that and a picture of a dude that looks way too much like a Uncle Bob the redneck...

The bloke is real, a search on the image confirms who he is as he uses the image on his blog. I wont post a link.

[Anechka]

Fiancée visa, wow... I would advise to start with a tourist visa for her, much easier to obtain, however, if you already started fiancée visa process, she won't be able to obtain a tourist visa...

She could come with a tourist visa, if you do indeed have feelings, you can either marry her and then she comes back and you do her a spouse visa or she comes back and you start fiancée visa process... Again, if you haven't started the visa process yet, but to my understanding you already did....

[mies]

Fiancée visa, wow... I would advise to start with a tourist visa for her, much easier to obtain,

on the contrary. If the woman does not have proof of strong ties with her home country, and/or does not have good income, it is much harder for her to obtain the tourist visa.

She could come with a tourist visa, if you do indeed have feelings, you can either marry her

technically, you are advising to the OP and his female friend to lie to the US immigration authorities.

http://answers.usa.gov/system/selfservice.controller?CONFIGURATION=1000&PARTITION_ID=1&CMD=VIEW_ARTICLE&ARTICLE_ID=10626&USERTYPE=1&LANGUAGE=en&COUNTRY=US

"Immigration fraud: Benefit fraud - refers to the willful misrepresentation or omission of material fact on an application to obtain an immigration benefit one is not entitled to, such as U.S. citizenship or a valid visa. These benefits give one the ability to freely enter, work, or reside in the U.S."

"The Department of State ("DOS") and United States Citizenship and Immigration Services ("USCIS") assume that an intent to marry a U.S. citizen is the same as an intent to immigrate. If your fiancee enters the U.S. as a tourist, without disclosing that they are your fiancee and intend to marry you, they have committed visa fraud."

[Anechka]

Mies, lol, my friend, 25 years old, not married, no kids,  got a tourist visa, my cousin - 26, not married, no kids, got a tourist visa... It's not difficult to get visa now, especially if the girl is from Moscow or Saint-Petersburg...judging by the guy's photo, I assume that his "fiancée" is a bit older than 25-26, so most probably she owns an apartment or a part of it in Russia, she has some nice job if she can pay for her trip to the US, she needs to get the employment letter stating her salary and position at the company, if she has elderly parents, it's also a proof of ties with the home country... Don't you know how to get a tourist visa? 

I'm not advising to lie, are they sure they want to get married? They haven't met each other so far, as I suggested, they could get married and then she would come back to Russia and they would file for a spouse visa . It would be a lie if the girl stays with her tourist visa and change the status....

If I remember correctly, you need to meet someone in person to be able to file for a fiancée visa... Therefore, my suggestion is more logic, if a guy can't come to Russia to meet her, why couldn't it be the other way round? Again, after the meeting in person, she needs to come back to Russia and file for relevant visa...

[mies]

Mies, lol, my friend, 25 years old, not married, no kids,  got a tourist visa, my cousin - 26, not married, no kids, got a tourist visa... It's not difficult to get visa now, especially if the girl is from Moscow or Saint-Petersburg...judging by the guy's photo, I assume that his "fiancée" is a bit older than 25-26, so most probably she owns an apartment or a part of it in Russia, she has some nice job if she can pay for her trip to the US, she needs to get the employment letter stating her salary and position at the company, if she has elderly parents, it's also a proof of ties with the home country... Don't you know how to get a tourist visa? 

I'm not advising to lie, are they sure they want to get married? They haven't met each other so far, as I suggested, they could get married and then she would come back to Russia and they would file for a spouse visa . It would be a lie if the girl stays with her tourist visa and change the status....

If I remember correctly, you need to meet someone in person to be able to file for a fiancée visa... Therefore, my suggestion is more logic, if a guy can't come to Russia to meet her, why couldn't it be the other way round? Again, after the meeting in person, she needs to come back to Russia and file for relevant visa...

Not to offend the OP, but if a woman is coming to the US to marry a man with mother who needs constant care, the man who lives not in the most central location, and this Russian woman is ready to marry him without ever meeting him in person - something tells me that maybe her ties with her home country aren't too strong, if you know what I mean.

The OP was just telling us that he is getting a waiver for the requirement to meet in person.

[Anechka]

Mies, the guy started process in 2011.... It's 2013 now... I got a fiancée visa in 4 months a few years ago...
As per ties, read carefully my post about obtaining a tourist visa... Since the level of life in Moscow is quite high, the percentage of obtaining a tourist visa is much higher, so far I have many Russian friends who came to the US on a tourist visa with almost no ties with their home country, it was couple of years ago, all my friends and cousins are about my age, so they were 25-29, not married, just graduated from universities

I'm not telling the topic starter should marry her so she could change her tourist visa status right away and stay in the US, this would be considered a lie to the homeland security. On the contrary, I offered to meet and then file for fiancée or spouse visa if they decide to marry right away. As I told before, it's essential that the girl would come back to russia, so she wouldn't violate the tourist visa conditions. Personal meeting would expedite the entire process.... However, it's too late right now, the guy already started the process...

[mies]

Mies, the guy started process in 2011.... It's 2013 now... I got a fiancée visa in 4 months a few years ago...
As per ties, read carefully my post about obtaining a tourist visa... Since the level of life in Moscow is quite high, the percentage of obtaining a tourist visa is much higher, so far I have many Russian friends who came to the US on a tourist visa with almost no ties with their home country, it was couple of years ago, all my friends and cousins are about my age, so they were 25-29, not married, just graduated from universities

Anechka, I suggest before entering into arguing about wealthy Muscovites, maybe you try reading between the lines my in my post. 
To rephrase, and make it easier for you to see my point, would any of these friends of yours leave behind their happy Moscow life behind, and agree to relocate to USA to marry a person they never saw in real life, also knowing that their life in the USA will mostly be focused around taking care of an old person with some health disabilities, with little hope or means for cultural life, with modest career prospective and so on. Think about that. And then, think why exactly your friends would not want to do it. Next, think why this particular woman we are discussing may be eager to do it. And then, try to arrive to a conclusion in what ways this particular woman may be different from your friends.

Right now you are assuming that she is the same as the people you see around you. After you go through this easy sequence of steps in logical construct, maybe you will think that this woman is not the same as people who surrounded you in Moscow.

As for your advice to meet at tourist visa trip first, then go through the process of fiance visa - I think that one of the reasons why the OP has not done that - is because possibly, financially he isn't very stable. Or maybe stable, but in a very narrow frame. Anything outside that frame would be problematic. Therefore, he is hoping that he will need to pay only for the fiance visa, and for her ticket to the USA, and he will get his wife. Otherwise, why wouldn't he hire a good caretaker for his mom, while he is traveling?
He is ready to gamble with the fiance visa because he can't really do it any other way.

[Eduard]

Wow! Where do I start?
Uhhhh...
Pree vyt! Minya za voot Kenneth! I am engaged to a krasivayia ladyia from Moscow. We met on RussianCupid in August of 2011. She called me the Old Cossack because a local friend from the Ukraine called me that. The skype and emails went fine until she changed jobs and went on a business trip to Miass.
In February of 2011 I began working on a fiancee visa. I found that my government makes it both expensive and tedious to go through the process. It seems that my fiancee, consulting forum like this, knew more about it than our government workers did.
As I am the primary caregiver for my mother I was given an extremely rare waiver from having to have met her in person.
I am going to mail the "affidavitt of support" along with an impressive amount of documentation of my ability to support my fiancee tomorrow morning.
However, since her business trip she has become distant and almost cold. The emails come about every three weeks.
I paid the surprise[to me] consular fee but she has never asked for a penny. She sent all the paperwork necessary for the visa.
She is still asking for documents, not money...so...am I concerned over nothing?
She has always been more concerned over whether she'd have a kitchen garden than anything else...
Your thoughts?

Hey Ken, not a good idea IMO. Too many red flags. You are trying for a mail order bride like they used to in the old American West - you write a few letters, then she arrives and you get married... I just don't see it working that way in 2013 with a woman from Moscow.

[Anechka]

Mies, my friends have good education and no problems whatsoever to find a spouse in real life, so no need to look for someone online... I don't know the reason this girl has to enter into this particular marriage: desperation? Desire to live to the US? ...

As per the topic starter, if money is such an issue, he needs to calculate the costs of bringing a foreign wife, considering she isn't going to work at least until she gets employment authorization or green card
1) food: I would say around $50 a week, which totals to 200 a month
2) some pocket money for personal expenses
3) car + car insurance (my husband's premium went up $350 a year when he added me as a driver) + fuel
4) medical insurance
5) filing fees for green card
6) higher utility bills, since she will be spending water, electricity...

Did I forget anything essential?

[I/O]

3) car + car insurance (my husband's premium went up $350 a year when he added me as a driver)

LOL, he got off light on this one - obviously he didn't mention Russian to his insurers.......

[Anechka]

LOL, he got off light on this one - obviously he didn't mention Russian to his insurers.......

Lmao, it was even worse, I totaled his car (and broke a couple of neighbors') while being on Leaners permit, so I think it was more than a fair raise, but my husband has an impeccable driving record: no violations whatsoever (except for a couple of parking tickets), all accidents were 100% not his fault 

[Eduard]

"Anechka" how is Philipp doing? 

[Anechka]

"Anechka" how is Philipp doing? 

  who?

[I/O]

all accidents were 100% not his fault 

Lol, as only a Russian could claim - guys, take note. 

[Anechka]

Lol, as only a Russian could claim - guys, take note. 

Russian and police reports  wanna copies?

[I/O]

Russian and pice reports  wanna copies?

No thanks, it's lunch time - L8R.