First timer headed to Ukraine

[BBC]

Many people were gathered around a small church/temple. It appeared they all had water jugs and were getting the water blessed. I am not sure if that is accurate...but thats all I could think of.

That’s right, what you saw was one of the main Orthodox events happening once a year on 19th of Janury at the end of Christmastides, it’s called Epiphany. As per religious beliefs the water at this day change its properties and considered as healing, as you said - blessed.

You would be more tormented mentally (and even physically) if you saw followers of the more extreme tradition for Epiphany – bathing in the ice hole. People do it whatever is the temperature outside  .

[Belvis]

Not sure what I should do.

May be invite himself to her place and see her in her natural environment? The question about her children has not surfaced yet. It's time to collect all personal info, time for any decisions will come later.

[SANDRO43]

Yes, very likely that was the item you referred to, I remember it started with “C”.
But unlike you pointed out, it was charged as separate line in the bill and added to total payment due - I had no choice but pay.  May be it was the price discrimination towards Russians?

What I meant is that the various items that make up a "coperto" are not billed separately, but are lumped into the single "coperto" item on your and any other customer's bill...regardless of their nationality .

[BBC]

It was really a nice theater. 3D. Unfortunately the movie pretty much sucked. I would say the movie sucked even if I had know Russian. According to Eva the movie was in Ukrainian language even though 90% of the people in there speak Russian. I don't remember the name of the movie, however the plot is of a young man who is stuck out at sea in a lifeboat with a hyena,a tiger and a Zebra. If you ever think about going to see this movie....DON"T. It is stupid!!!

I  can’t agree with you. The movie is called "Life of Pi" - my daughter and I both were very impressed with it. Apparently the movie plot is based on the novel which got the Man Booker Prize for fiction in 2002, I’d love to find and read it.
If you saw the movie in English, you would understand that the story about animals in the boat was a boy’s fantasy. In reality few other people survived including his mother, but the ship cook killed the sailor and then his mother, and the boy had to kill the cook. Boy’s mind replaced people with animals in order not to go crazy, his fantasy was his mental protection in order to survive. I would recommend to watch the movie.

[Faux Pas]

May be invite himself to her place and see her in her natural environment? The question about her children has not surfaced yet. It's time to collect all personal info, time for any decisions will come later.

+1

[SANDRO43]

The movie is called "Life of Pi" - my daughter and I both were very impressed with it. Apparently the movie plot is based on the novel which got the Man Booker Prize for fiction in 2002, I’d love to find and read it.

http://www.amazon.com/Life-Pi-Yann-Martel/dp/0547848412/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1358611232&sr=8-1&keywords=Life+of+Pi

[ghost of moon goddess]

As per religious beliefs the water at this day change its properties and considered as healing, as you said - blessed.

If/when you have some spare time to kill watch the "Water: the great mystery" documentary film.

http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/water-great-mystery/

[jone]

That’s right, what you saw was one of the main Orthodox events happening once a year on 19th of Janury at the end of Christmastides, it’s called Epiphany. As per religious beliefs the water at this day change its properties and considered as healing, as you said - blessed.

You would be more tormented mentally (and even physically) if you saw followers of the more extreme tradition for Epiphany – bathing in the ice hole. People do it whatever is the temperature outside  .

That reminds me of how we go ice fishing in Wisconsin, where I'm originally from. 

We cut a big hole in the ice.

We put Peas around the hole.

Then, when the fish comes to take a pea, we kick him in the ice hole.

[Anotherkiwi]

That reminds me of how we go ice fishing in Wisconsin, where I'm originally from. 

We cut a big hole in the ice.

We put Peas around the hole.

Then, when the fish comes to take a pea, we kick him in the ice hole.

s there a smiley for "GGGGRRROOOAAANNN?"   

[lonedrake]

 Jon,

 We have an equally funny joke in Minnesota.

 How many cheeseheads does it take to tell a good joke?

 Nobody knows. It's never been done!
 
 

[jone]

Jon,

 We have an equally funny joke in Minnesota.

 How many cheeseheads does it take to tell a good joke?

 Nobody knows. It's never been done!
 

Yes, well,

We heard recently that Iowa wants to have their own professional football team.  The NFL turned them down.  Their excuse was that Minnesota would then want one too.

[lonedrake]

 Yesterday I had some "mental torment"  I was not sure what to do. So I thought about it...then thought about it some more and so on.

 It becomes clear to me how I feel and what I must do

So Eva makes it over around 7. I am a little nervous and apprehensive as I have no idea how this will pan out.But my mind is made up.

 I set her down on the couch and tell her I have something important to tell her.  Then I say " Remember when we first met and I told you I am looking for the love of my life and also want to marry her" she nods so I continue on "today I decided that I do not want to marry you, all we can be is friends. Once I leave I do not come back to Ukraine to visit you"

 She says "Stephen, you're crazy. You think I want to marry you? I don't think about the future,just today and tomorrow"

 So I feel a little foolish. I also feel better for letting her know where I stand.

Let me explain myself about the the marriage question. When I meet or am dating a woman I just ask/think to myself...Do I see a future with her? do I think I could marry? will this relationship work out?  One can never truly know these answers,but if at the present time they are all yes....then...no problem.

 However if the answers come back as no, some thought must take place.

 There is no appropriate way to express myself why my answers come back as no. All I will say is they are personal and physical.....and yes.....I am shallow. I cannot get past it.

 I believed after I told her this Eva would be a little upset and maybe even head home. I had no idea. But no...she made it clear she enjoys spending time with me. She wants to take a walk to a market that sounds like it is a fair distance away...but I want to just go to the one across the street. So I tell her " You go to that market and I go to this market and we meet back here"

 At the market access the street I pick up some pepsi and 7 up( Pepsi and Coke are readily available,but I have not found any Mountain Dew...I take 200 mgs of caffeine each morning) Eva wants some champagne so we pick up a bottle of that and return to apartment.

It is now the second day that I have not been able to eat anything. I am sleepy and tell Eva I go to sleep at 11. She say no problem and we just talk about anything and everything. She is very funny. 11 rolls around and then 11:30 and then 12.

Eva is making good progress on the champagne bottle and I can tell she is getting drunk. She grabs my face and says" Stephen why you not want to marry me?"  So my honesty flies out the window and I just tell her she is to old for me. She knows I am lying immediately." Liar, why you lie to me about this?"There is no way in hell I am going to tell her the truth. I think she knows the reason, but I believe it is better if she has doubts.  So I just shrug my shoulders.

 After that everything is fine. She ends up calling a taxi at 2. She wants to take me for a taxi ride in the country and go bowling again. That sounds great to me....I was just expecting to hang around here alone tomorrow and catch a taxi to Donetsk early monday. Sure it is wasted time spending it with her when I know the relationship is going to end, but I don't feel like trying to contact any other women just to maybe meet them a day before I leave. She knows where I stand so she can choose as she wishes with the info I have given her.

 

[lonedrake]

 This is the message Eva sent me...I guess when she made it home.

good night my dear! We had a great evening! I'm glad that we're still together! because in one day! we never see each other! very zhvlko, I am really happy with you! but that's life!, and there's nothing we can do about it! feelings have feelings! You do not love me and that is not possible, very little time! anyway - everything is fine! you will always be in my memory!

[Gator]

" Remember when we first met and I told you I am looking for the love of my life and also want to marry her" she nods so I continue on "today I decided that I do not want to marry you, all we can be is friends. Once I leave I do not come back to Ukraine to visit you"


 There is no appropriate way to express myself why my answers come back as no. All I will say is they are personal and physical.....and yes.....I am shallow. I cannot get past it.

I commend you for making a decision and not wasting any more of Eva's time and your time.
 
OTOH, I criticize you for not doing this earlier.   It seems that you are not attracted to Eva because of physical reasons.  Is physical attraction not something you feel and determine in the first hour or so?  So why did you waste a few days with her?
 
Yes, you should be physically attracted to your wife.  In my opinion the vast majority of the FSUW I met were attractive enough to marry.  Did I say "enough?"   I should say "very attractive," compelling me to travel across the globe to meet them.   
 
I did not screen women looking for the longest legs, smallest popka, and best breasts.  Not only would that have been shallow, it says nothing about whether you can be happy with a particular woman.  The primary issues for me upon meeting them were mind and soul, not body. 
 
 
No person is physically perfect - we all have our flaws.  However, when a loving relationship develops, flaws disappear and become part of who the woman is.   One day I hope you will find a woman whose flaws you will cherish because you cherish everything about her.
 
 

[mendeleyev]

Gator, flaws? 

I have plenty of them which thankfully the lovely and talented Mrs M has chosen to overlook. She has no flaws however although in younger days I imagined that she did. Over the years however as we've endured ups and downs in life and sent the wonderful daughters of our blended family (2 now married) successfully out into life I realize that the flaws I perceived from time to time were just an aberration in my mind. I have come to the very happy understanding that she is perfect in every way and that I am a very lucky man.

Do I put her on a pedestal? Afraid so, and without apology by the way. She somehow puts me on one too although I'm far less deserving.

[calmissile]

This is the message Eva sent me...I guess when she made it home.

good night my dear! We had a great evening! I'm glad that we're still together! because in one day! we never see each other! very zhvlko, I am really happy with you! but that's life!, and there's nothing we can do about it! feelings have feelings! You do not love me and that is not possible, very little time! anyway - everything is fine! you will always be in my memory!

I would not consider this adventure a waste of your time.  You met a very nice woman and enjoyed each others company.  You, like her should put it away as a memorable experience.  The idea of making a trip to FSU and falling in love with someone you havn't meant isn't really very realistic if you think about it.  How many dates does it take at home to find the right lady to marry?

This why I suggest that guys go with the idea of having a vacation and getting imersed in the culture and exploring the country for it's many interesting offerings.  If you do end up marrying a FSU woman, the time you spent learning the culture and exploring her native country will not only make points with her, but also expand your own personal knowledge.

Good luck on your next adventure.

[mendeleyev]

This why I suggest that guys go with the idea of having a vacation and getting imersed in the culture and exploring the country for it's many interesting offerings.

+1

[anm8tr]

Guys, I don't blame Lone. Not sure how)))), but I knew these things while dating my (present) husband. I tried to be very careful with the money he gave me to pay for anything, always gave him the change and NEVER asked him to go shopping and buy me anything.
 
Do you think I didn't need money? I did. Also I love(d) shopping)))).
My life experience didn't let me "keep the change" or ask for something. No way - Americans are Americans 

Does that mean Americans are considered cheap, if we expect our change back? Just curious.



I realized that as well, and that is why I never made a fuss about getting any change back. Sometimes I did get some back and sometimes not. I know my girl gets paid once a month. And she really has to be budget conscious too! I know she does not make that much and I try to help at every opportunity.

[anm8tr]

Yes, you should be physically attracted to your wife.  In my opinion the vast majority of the FSUW I met were attractive enough to marry.  Did I say "enough?"   I should say "very attractive," compelling me to travel across the globe to meet them.   
 

I will second that opinion! I found someone extremely physically attractive so that part is covered and then some, however, I can't say for sure that she see's me in the same light, LOL! Probably not, but I have never been more attracted to a woman ever in my life until I met her, but as for the marriage part, that is another story and still waiting to see what happens. .

[lonedrake]

 Our plan was to take a Taxi drive out into the country. In case anyone has not figured it out by now.....I am pretty much a redneck.  I am partial to...Minnesota Redneckastanian.
 Eva calls at 1pm and says she has a problem with lights and may be late. She arrives at 2:30 and is frazzled. Apparently one of her light fixtures fell out of the wall and the wires broke and she did not have the right light to do her hair. On top of that she was worried about the cost to fix it. I tried to get her to let me take a look at it and see if I could fix it.....but no....this is very dangerous and you might die.  Only a professional was capable of repairing it I guess. I am not an electrician, but I have no problem hooking up 110 volt switches and outlets even while hot. It sounds like one of the wires just broke and it probably just needed to be stripped and reconnected.

 I looked on Google earth and decided I wanted to head north of Lugansk about 20km to a little village. From there we would either go east and loop back around to Lugansk....or just turn around....depending on roads conditions,time etc.

So I show Eva the route and and I know she understands where I wish to go. We get a taxi. The driver is older than average and appears to have much knowledge of the history of the area. Now I was finally hoping to get out of town and see what the terrain,wildlife, farming practices are like around Lugansk. So off we go.  Did we get out of the city? Nope...we just basically drove in circles and I was pointed out different building...most of which I had already seen. Keep in mind I had my phone GPS on and could see we were getting nowhere near the road that leads out of town. Eva and the taxi driver are talking a lot and all I can think is they are saying "We will just drive around in circles because Steve does not know where we are at anyways. He will think we went to where he wanted to go" I am just thinking...why can't I just go see what I want to see?Why? Why? The sun eventually sets so we go back.  170 grivnas later...still no look at the countryside

 Maybe there are good reason not to go where I wanted to go....and my safety was just looked after...but it was not meant to be. I realize I have different interests than the average person...but I am who I am.

[jone]

LD,

I am impressed with your musings.  There is so much that you have learned, and certainly you have expanded your horizons.  It is my great hope that you come home with a big smile on your face and that you wind up looking at this trip as a stepping stone.

Personally, I would never be so brave as to put my thoughts online to be quibbled over before I had figured myself what to do.  I, like you, will be back in the USA tomorrow. 

I have always loved your handle and now that winter will soon be spent and spring time will be upon us, I have to share a small missive that your 'handle' reminds me of.


****************************************************************************

In the Great Northern Woods, which we both know well, their was a horny old fowl who sought a mistress now that spring was in the air.

He flew around the water looking for the first female bird he could find!

He spied a young Dove who looked his type.  He introduced himself and she smiled and said; "Oh, I am a Dove who loves to be in love.  The old geezer decided that such romance was not part of his personality so he flew on.

Next he spotted a Beautiful Loon, nestled in some waters not far from shore.  He swooped in and again stated his purpose.  This young Loon was giddy with excitement.  She said; I am a Loon that loves to Spoon.  Being a very direct individual, he passed on her as well.

Thinking he would have no luck that spring, the codger flew a great distance before finally spying the object of his desire.  A beautiful duck.  He pulled in his flaps and dive bombed down to meet her.   With great confidence he made his request.  The duck looked at him and smiled.  And can you guess the reply?  Hah, hah, I'm a Drake.  You've made a mistake!

Hope your flight back to your home is a good one.

[lonedrake]

  We were going to go bowling ,but I sense Eva has a slight headache from emptying the champagne bottle last night. We go for pizza instead.She is thankful.

 I want to tell a little about Eva's story. I believe her. However, I am basically a dumb american and others...especially the RW will pick up on details that are odd.

 Her grandfather was an important/respected man that moved to Lugansk around 1920 or so. I never understood the word about his status in the community. He was granted land by someone....not sure who...maybe a queen. I didn't quite understand all of that. He was killed by German soldiers in 1941. Her father was six years old at the time. Her mother and father were important people in Lugansk. I am not sure what title/position he held. Her parents had two girls. Eva is six years older than her sister. Eva's father passed away from cancer when she was 12( same age I was when My father died of cancer) Her mother struggled and died a few years later.

 Eva was married to a man from Ukraine at 19. She became pregnant and her son was born 3 months early. He weighed 1 kilogram. She was told he would be fine and was sent home. He son passed away in a few days. When she went back to get his body they would not give him to her. She tells me that sometimes she thinks he may be still alive and may run into him. She says maybe just wishful thinking.

 One day her husband left her for another woman. Three months later he returned. I did not get all the details on this but it seems this cycle repeated itself for a year or two until she finally had enough. She also claims all ukrainian men are like this and just lie and cheat all the time. She has no interest in dating any man from Ukraine.

 About 10 years ago her sister was in an accident and sustained head injuries. "She is Crazy" From the pictures it appears her sister is able to function normally...but mentally is impaired. So they shout at each other a lot. Her sister does not work and has a boyfriend that lives with them.....but Eva does not like him.

 I have seen some of the Russian/Ukrainian topic on here but did not get it until Eva explained it to me. This is her version of it...best I can recall.

 Eva is a Russian woman. Does not matter that she was born and raised in Lugansk. But....here is where it gets confusing. If Eva were to go more east...say Kiev...they would not like her there because she is Russian. If she were go to the west...in Russia...they would not like her there because she is Ukrainian. She was in Russia one time and a woman was treating her poorly because she was from Ukraine. Eva gave her the business and told her she  more Russian than you are...blah,blah,blah

 Eva also has a theory on where the most beautiful woman are. They are in the Lugansk,Donetsk region. This is due to the way this area was settled. It has many more mixed races. The mixing of the races produces more beautiful women. The women of Kiev...not as beautiful on average because of less race mixing. And many Russian women are"ugly". Its all because not as much race mixing. Russian women have small eyes and less beautiful features. 

[lonedrake]

   My plan for my return trip is to stay awake all night. That way when I am on the flight across the Atlantic...I fall asleep. I was not able to stay awake all night,but I did pretty good.

 My contact comes over at 6am and I am ready to go. This time I will get the real taxi price. When we arrive at Donetsk he does his calculations. 530 Grivna So I just give him 700.

 The taxi ride did have it's moments. We are about 30 minutes outside Lugansk and the driver pulls over at a small bus stop and motions me out. I'm thinking " No wonder my contact said the price is good.....I am getting dropped off...who know where..certainly not the airport" So I call my contact and he talks to the driver. He is just getting gas. Ok...good....but then the driver motions me back out...so I get out and he drives off and goes behind a truck where I can't see him. My luggage and money is in the car.....but it turns out for some reason at this particular filling station passengers are not allowed. Weird.

We get near Donetsk and it seems we are lost. I pull out my phone and look up the airport. I can see we missed a turn about 10 kilometers back. I show the driver...but no luck...he drives around and eventually pulls up to some gate and asks some guys there for directions. He is talking to the guys and then they look at my phone. I'm thinking "Well damn....I am an idiot from America  but I have to show this guy how to get to the airport?" He has a GPS and lives around here...plus very little traffic and it was an easy destination. Oh well.....we make it there fine after that.

 Now back to my first taxi ride when I arrived in Donetsk. I am out of the country so I feel more at ease talking about it. I had set it all up and pre-paid 125 for the ride to Lugansk. I knew it was high...but it would have been worth it to arrive at the airport at 8pm and have somebody waiting for me to take me straight to apartment. When I first talked to the drivers that night I made it clear that I was going to pay 100. But....now I know they had no idea what I said. The problem came in when I called my contact. He should have told the driver what I was going to pay...but he did not. He must of just told the driver that I would pay in and I was trustworthy. It was my contacts mistake and I have since learned that he is a good contact....just was not thinking clearly and or does not have enough experience. Everything else he did was exactly as he said and I could reach him 24 hours a day.
 As we were driving to Lugansk I could see the meter running and it was well over 100 bucks. I told my contact right away because I figured there was a misunderstanding. Total the driver needed was 187.00. So we were in a mexican standoff. He wanted 187 and I was offering less. Eventually he agreed upon 170.00.  During the negotiations....I have no clue what is being said.  At this point I even suspected they were in on it together But...I believe differently now. If I return to Lugansk I will use the same contact. To many other things he did were very good.

[lonedrake]

  Jon,

 Thank you :clapping:It may be brave.....but it may also be a lot of more colorful words stupid comes to mind right away.

 A good part of my decision to write a journal style was that I want to contribute a little to RWD. Many others contribute so much info and help others out each and every day. I have learned so much from this website. I hope someone else can learn a little from me.

My trip was a success for me.One of the feelings/emotions I have that I really didn't anticipate is guilt.

[mendeleyev]

 

no....this is very dangerous and you might die.  Only a professional was capable of repairing it I guess. I am not an electrician, but I have no problem hooking up 110 volt switches and outlets even while hot. It sounds like one of the wires just broke and it probably just needed to be stripped and reconnected.

Yes, of course you nor most of the rest of us are not a "repair master" and therefore while your intentions are good, not to be trusted with a technical issue in which you have no degree or certificate. Don't feel bad, we've all been on the wrong side of that thinking. Even if you fixed it correctly, she'd have a "repair master" come to inspect your work and to keep her thinking that he was indeed the master, he'd find fault with something you did or didn't do.

If it is any consolation, 110 is not her wiring. Europe and Asia use 220v. You are probably correct however in that it would have been an easy fix for you to accomplish. But again, unless your business card says "repair master" we can't be doing that sort of thing in their minds.

Eva is a Russian woman. Does not matter that she was born and raised in Lugansk. But....here is where it gets confusing. If Eva were to go more east...say Kiev...they would not like her there because she is Russian. If she were go to the west...in Russia...they would not like her there because she is Ukrainian. She was in Russia one time and a woman was treating her poorly because she was from Ukraine.

In Kyiv/Kiev most wouldn't care one way or the other. She's accepted in Eastern Ukraine because the population there leans more Russian. However that little pocket of the world around Luhansk and down to Rostov was part of Greece and then part of the Turkish Ottoman Empire far longer than it was Russian, but don't mention that to some Russians as it doesn't seem to make them very happy. 

In Russia she'd be looked down upon if her accent was clearly Ukrainian, unless her last name (family) name is ethnic Russian, as then she'd be eventually accepted in Russia. It is very believable that she'd be looked down up by some as sometimes the Russian mentality is that Ukrainians are "little" brothers/sisters who don't quite know how to handle themselves without the guidance of their bigger brother. That sore point goes back almost a thousand years and princes have died over the argument so you and I aren't going to change it anytime soon.

Now Mr. Putin is actively in courtship mode to convince Ukraine to join the "Customs and Postal Union" with Russia, Belarus, and Kazakhstan so she would be treated with more smiles in Russia today.

My trip was a success for me.

Thanks for sharing and allowing us along for the ride!