First timer headed to Ukraine

[lonedrake]

   I have put thought into this. I would not expect an UW to be able to contribute anything finically. How could she?

 With this AW I was to also take over her 800.00 mortgage. I just was not on board with the plan as she was forcing the issue to soon.

 I did the right thing IMO. There is no chance I will be her ex-husband #4.

[calmissile]

   I have put thought into this. I would not expect an UW to be able to contribute anything finically. How could she?

 With this AW I was to also take over her 800.00 mortgage. I just was not on board with the plan as she was forcing the issue to soon.

 I did the right thing IMO. There is no chance I will be her ex-husband #4.

Good plan.   Now close this chapter with her and give it some time to study more about the culture and personalities you are seeking.

Good luck!

[Faux Pas]

   I have put thought into this. I would not expect an UW to be able to contribute anything finically. How could she?

 With this AW I was to also take over her 800.00 mortgage. I just was not on board with the plan as she was forcing the issue to soon.

 I did the right thing IMO. There is no chance I will be her ex-husband #4.

Before you find a UW, $800 bucks a month might have been your cheaper alternative *just saying*

[lonedrake]

 Ok...it's been almost a week since my trip to Ukraine. I wish I could say that my head is clear and I am at ease. But, it is not the case and I realize I need some advice. I am confused and unsure of myself. I want to do the right thing and this would be the place where others have gone through the same thing.

 I can't stop thinking about Eva. I will try to explain why I called it off with her during the trip. It is a little personal, but we are all adults and others may have been through the same thing.  My decision to call it off was based on my lack of sexual desire for her. I was thinking that this should be important. What I was not factoring in at the time was that I had a severe rash,injections,medicine and much anxiety. I realize now that I was in no physical shape to have sexual desires for anyone,nor did I. 

 Have others experienced the same thing?  I am not even sure this is an appropriate topic? It is embarrassing to reveal sexual difficulties.....at least it is to me. I talked to my mother and sister about Eva...but I could not/will not talk about this with them.

 After receiving that last letter from Eva I deleted her profile and did not respond. She kept sending letters and after the third one I responded. I feel like I am in love with her. However....I question my own judgement. How could I break it off with her and then change my mind?   What is wrong with me? Am I just a fool?  Am I in a position to be scammed?

 My mother and sister must see something in how I talk about Eva as they want me to visit her again and see her living situation/ and or have her come here for a visit.

 As it stand now with Eva we are talking. I have made no promises other than I will not be seeing anyone else till we come to a decision.  Above all I need to see her again when I am healthy. This is much more complicated than I thought it would be.  I feel like an ass, but maybe a lucky one.....don't know.

Here is another letter from Eva.



My dear loved! I have absolutely no prejudices! I was very good to you! As I have never felt happy! I miss you! I so miss you! I can not do anything without you! world stopped! I do not! There's only us! There is only a world that was all around us! I want to be with you! I want to hug you and kiss you! I want to take care of you! cook you a delicious meal! And enjoy the conversation! And be together in sorrow and in joy and in sickness and in health! You introduced me to uma1 I do not understand! What do you do for that? I'm waiting! I love! and kiss!


 I need advice.

[GQBlues]

Post-travel blues. Same as what she's feeling. It'll wear off soon enough. She didn't ring your bell being around her, now you're mind is simply filling in the void. I would suggest hitting up on a cutie and getting laid. It'll be like taking a shower and washing it off your hair.

...I realize now that I was in no physical shape to have sexual desires for anyone, nor did I.

Wow! Did you name *him* 'Roger' - your friend? 

Do you occasionally see dead people, too?

[Faux Pas]

LD
Forget the "in love" with her, you're not. But you do seem to have enough going for her that you ask yourself these questions. Whats going on with you that you believe you have to be in love and go full throttle right now this minute? You don't. Why not plan another trip to be with Eva as soon as you can and see if the sexual attraction and the other basis for a relationship can blossom. Your first trip abroad, you were much less than yourself and in a very different place than what you're accustomed. Take it all in and reflect. If you are that interested in Eva keep the communication flowing. Plan your next trip and use the time in between to get to know her better. You need not run around like your ass is on fire, it isn't.

[ML]

Unfortunately, this is all a by-product of focusing in on one woman too soon in  the process.

If you had broadened your net a bit and met several women, you might have a clearer head about any single woman.  When a guy is starved for love, any gal  looks pretty good, and when there is only one, she looks very good.

The sex thing has too many variables involved to draw any conclusions.  The only  way to start getting answers is to test yourself by contact with other women.

If you have sexual arousal with another woman, and still have these other factors (rashes, etc.), then you can likely conclude it is the woman, not  these other factors.

But we men are fragile beings when it comes to sex.  For  instance, I don't need viagra, et al., but I take it when having relations with a new woman for first time.  Helps get over those 'first time' jitters.

Note: Viagra and others will not cause you to be sexually attracted to anyone and will not give you sexual desire when none is present or increase existing desire.  It merely increases the blood flow to the penis to help with already existing desire.  It can help transform nervous semi erect to steel rod.

[Gator]

Have others experienced the same thing? 

Not me.  If I get a rash, it is after having sex, not before.  I look down at my privates and wonder WTF is that!
 
Seriously.  Do you develop a rash before stressful events such as public speaking, business proposals, important social engagements, etc.?  I ask wondering if it were a psychosomatic reaction (which is a complicated issue).

[mendeleyev]

If you don't feel like closing the door, don't. But don't string her along either. If continued communication deepens your desire to know her better, go back sooner than later.

[Daveman]

LD
Forget the "in love" with her, you're not. But you do seem to have enough going for her that you ask yourself these questions. Whats going on with you that you believe you have to be in love and go full throttle right now this minute? You don't. Why not plan another trip to be with Eva as soon as you can and see if the sexual attraction and the other basis for a relationship can blossom. Your first trip abroad, you were much less than yourself and in a very different place than what you're accustomed. Take it all in and reflect. If you are that interested in Eva keep the communication flowing. Plan your next trip and use the time in between to get to know her better. You need not run around like your ass is on fire, it isn't.

eeeeeyeppers...


Personally, I think her messages to you, LD, are a bit over the top, but who am I to judge.  Stop putting pressure on yourself.  If you want to communicate with her and see where it goes, then do just that. If not, then don't.  Take the pressure off the relationship, the communication, the sexuality, everything - and just BE... you'll be surprised at how much better, and clear, things become.

[jone]

eeeeeyeppers

Personally, I think her messages to you, LD, are a bit over the top, but who am I to judge.  Stop putting pressure on yourself.  If you want to communicate with her and see where it goes, then do just that. If not, then don't.  Take the pressure off the relationship, the communication, the sexuality, everything - and just BE... you'll be surprised at how much better, and clear, things become.

And absolutely do not forget what the Russian Health Ministry said!

[Photo Guy]

You're not sexually attracted to her? I don't understand that. Could it happen later, after getting to know her better. Sometimes the attraction is not instant, but arrives after some time- maybe that's the situation. I get the impression there is something 'deep' going on when you say you think you love her. So based on that, I think it might be a good idea to relax, remove the pressure, and just get to know her better. Get her thoughts on all subjects. Explore the relationship, even if it's just by phone or email....

[lonedrake]

Personally, I think her messages to you, LD, are a bit over the top,

 It does seem strong. I have not told her I love her.

Seriously.  Do you develop a rash before stressful events such as public speaking, business proposals, important social engagements, etc.?  I ask wondering if it were a psychosomatic reaction

 No. I am generally very healthy. I am trying to post up a picture of the rash I had....but no luck so far. I have transferred it from my phone to computer,but just can't get the image on here.

 

You're not sexually attracted to her?

 All I can say that my sex drive was very low during this trip.It was the same meeting the other two girls also.....even though I was not sick yet at the time. I think the newness of everything was just very stressful for me. 

 I know time will help reveal our true feelings and I am not going to be doing anything for at least 2 months.

 Another member has suggested a meeting with an english speaking woman and Eva. I asked Eva if she is open to that. Since she is sleeping I will know what her answer is tomorrow.

I would suggest hitting up on a cutie and getting laid.

I'll think about it

 

[calmissile]

It does seem strong. I have not told her I love her.


 No. I am generally very healthy. I am trying to post up a picture of the rash I had....but no luck so far. I have transferred it from my phone to computer,but just can't get the image on here.

 

 All I can say that my sex drive was very low during this trip.It was the same meeting the other two girls also.....even though I was not sick yet at the time. I think the newness of everything was just very stressful for me. 

 I know time will help reveal our true feelings and I am not going to be doing anything for at least 2 months.

 Another member has suggested a meeting with an english speaking woman and Eva. I asked Eva if she is open to that. Since she is sleeping I will know what her answer is tomorrow.


 


I'll think about it

Personally, I would chill out for a while.  Your lack of sex drive could easily be from anxiety.  I almost kicked the most wonderful women to the curb for the same reason.  Put your priorites in order.  Unless she is a nun, she is likely to satisfy your sex drives when you are more relaxed and have less stress.

Expecting miracles on a first date isn't likely to happen.  What about her personality and how she tries to meet your other needs.  Sex is important, but unless she is 300+ lbs, it is likely that the two of you can grow together and laugh later about the intimacy issues.  Stress is a bitch!

[I/O]

Snip

OMG, think of the devil and all that - I was so reminded of you Doug when I read LDs latter post.
 
LD: I'm a scorched earth man - recycled relationships rarely work IME. If, at the start, it wasn't hot, there's every reason to think it's not.

[Belvis]

it is likely that the two of you can grow together and laugh later about the intimacy issues.  Stress is a bitch!

+1
The problem is not unique. Have married guys feel sexual  appetite to their wives all the time?
I have found for myself that I can develop a strong sexual desire of a woman I don't like at the first look. The desire comes later, after I get feeling she is my soul mate, she is in me. BTW, opposite is also true, and I would afraid of this more.
About her message. I wouldn't pay much attention, some women adore the love feeling even without object. However her behaviour during the visit tells that may be she's sincere.
At any case, you're experiencing great feelings whatever outcome will be.

[Gator]

 
LD: I'm a scorched earth man - recycled relationships rarely work IME. If, at the start, it wasn't hot, there's every reason to think it's not.

"Second" that opinion.   Excuse me, that would be a +1 in today's vernacular.

[jone]

Steve

You are looking for advice?  Really?  Because this group is not a bunch of hand holders.  While I realize many people go through their lives without finding someone to share it with, I am a firm believer that there is someone special out there for you.

If you are looking for advice I will tell you that you should NEVER LOOK BACK.    People can rationalize all sorts of relationships.  But this was the third woman that you met on a quest that most men spend years on.  If you were really blown away by her, then it would have been reflected in the original dialogue.

You asked for advice.  There is someone better out there waiting for you.  Don't drag this out.

Jon

[lonedrake]

You are looking for advice? 

 Yes. People seek advice from friends and family about relationships all the time. I feel that I have been given some excellent advice on here. In the end it will be up to me to decide.

[Russian_Bear]

Hello, lonedrake. I am a Russian man, living in Kiev. My daughter likes visiting this site for reading some stories. And, by chance, I have read your story as well. And I even decided to register here to give you some advices, if you want, of course I don't like, that you guys leave us without our nice and pretty women, taking them with yourself, but I will advise you something As for Eve.. You both had seen each other for some days and, as I have realized, you had not had any contacts with her before. Being of her ages it is impossible to lose a head because of love as she had written it. It needs more time for love to appear. We are not teenagers unfortunately Look, at foirst she asked you "Do you think I wanted you to marry me? I didn't even think about it!" And then, almost the very next day she asked "Why did you not want to marry me?". And then you left each other and those days, after this dialogue, were enough to lit her heart, awaking her love the way, that she can't even live without you and that the world has stopped for her without you.. Believe me, I know our women very well ( and, all the more, I am older than you ) and I can surely say that her words are unsincere. It is my opinion. I agree with another member of this forum that you have not to look back. If something had been between both of you at once, you would have felt it. Our women are so pretty that you would never need any pills ( viagra ) being so young as you are. It was not a good avice about pills. I am older than you and I have never used them. My wife is slim and pretty even now, when she is not a girl of her 20 So, coming here, to Ukraine, keep all pills at home. What I think about all this.. Forget about Eve. She is not YOUR woman. When you meet YOUR woman and when you see at once that this is YOUR woman, you will not need any advices. You will realized at once that you have met this only one woman for you  You seem to be a good guy and I sincerely wish you good luck and happiness. And any time you can ask me  somethings if you want 

[GQBlues]

...And then you left each other and those days, after this dialogue, were enough to lit her heart, awaking her love the way, that she can't even live without you and that the world has stopped for her without you.. Believe me, I know our women very well ( and, all the more, I am older than you ) and I can surely say that her words are unsincere. It is my opinion. I agree with another member of this forum that you have not to look back. If something had been between both of you at once, you would have felt it....

Finally!      Normally it takes shagging one cutie to clear a man's mind, but this time (hopefully) a man succeeds doing just that. Without the shag, of course...
 
But as it always is, it's their time and dime..Lonely periods, especially after a trip, usually have this pesky lingering *thoughts* of wonderful, lustful, romantic innuendoes that usually isn't necessarily reality based.
 
That 2 AM last call syndrome can make the any ladies (situation) look appetizing for many a folks...
 
 
 
 
 

[Gator]

What I think about all this.. Forget about Eve. She is not YOUR woman. When you meet YOUR woman and when you see at once that this is YOUR woman, you will not need any advices. You will realized at once that you have met this only one woman for you  You seem to be a good guy and I sincerely wish you good luck and happiness. And any time you can ask me  somethings if you want 

    I hope Lone Drake listens to you. 
Russian Bear, 
 
The same as most of your fellow citizens, you are very practical and pragmatic.   Basic analysis and common sense are very revealing if one listens to them.

Very few Russian men participate at RWD, and most of them are selling something so their views can sometimes be prejudiced.  I invite you to participate more.  Your English is excellent and your insights valuable.
 
So your daughter finds RWD interesting?  Or comical?  We are a motley group of men.

[Anotherkiwi]

...So your daughter finds RWD interesting?  Or comical?  We are a motley group of men.

Hopefully interesting, but unfortunately the appropriate word, for that age and sex, is probably "sad."

[lonedrake]

RussianBear,

 It means a lot to me that you would sign up just to help me out. Thank you!

 Right now Eva and an english speaking lady are going to get together and talk. If it turns out she is in fact insincere about her feelings towards me....then I have no choice but to accept reality.

This would also mean that I would have to seriously think about ever dating any FSUW. I would have to admit that I am to susceptible to scams.

[Gator]

If it turns out she is in fact insincere about her feelings towards me....then I have no choice but to accept reality.

This would also mean that I would have to seriously think about ever dating any FSUW.....

No, it simply means you mespent too much time with a UW desperate to leave Lugansk.
 
You are wiser now based on having jumped into the deep end of the pool.  Use that wisdom to find a good woman.  In your case I suggest that you communicate with many, many women.  The cream will rise to the top and you may very well experience something that can not be denied.  But before you go again, try to learn the source of your skin rash.

 

....I would have to admit that I am to susceptible to scams.

Based on what we know, you were not scammed.  You were not smart about using your limited time and you had a severe dermatological  reaction for an unknown reason.