Update - 13 years later

[The Natural]

Not sure how it works in Norway but I guess the dovirce with two kids will last for a while.
At least, if I were Lena I would fight till "the last drop of blood" for my kids.

Don't worry, Norway is about the most feminine country there is and if it's a battle between the parents, the mother would be pretty messed up on drugs or something not to get the children. "My kids"? It's their kids together if I understand it correctly.
Divorce proceedings are pretty straightforward and the authorities does not meddle unless there is a conflict. It's a mandatory 1-year "separation" time though. The idea is, I guess, to facilitate some time that hopefully the couple might decide to continue the marriage.

[ML]

. . . Norway is about the most feminine country there is . . .

What happened to the descendants of Erik the Red and Leif?

[SANDRO43]

What happened to the descendants of Erik the Red and Leif?

They migrated elsewhere :

[mies]

They are missing but can be easily "guessed".
Poor Lena.
 
What can make a FSU woman go to Ukraine with her soon-to-be ex husband and help him to date many other Ukrainian women who this "soon-to-be" wants to marry?
My versions:
1) total insanity
2) despair
3) certain promises to let her keep the kids
4) emotional abuse (blackmail)
 
Agree, girls?

Agreed. And Lena doesn't look insane to me.

[mies]

.

[mies]

Not sure how it works in Norway but I guess the dovirce with two kids will last for a while.
At least, if I were Lena I would fight till "the last drop of blood" for my kids.

Agree about this too. No sane woman, especially a UW/RW, will exchange her two 10yo boys for the "bigger deal and more comfortable life." And Lena doesn't strike me as a person who'd want her children out of her life. Having/wanting the OP in her life is a completely different matter.

[northkape]

FatherTime
There will be no or very little pain for the boys the way me and Lena have arranged it.
I'm together with them several hours every day and know them very well.
And no, Lena isn't helping me finding a new wife,,,,,,
She helped me call some prospects because of my limited Russian.
-
As the The Natural said there are relatively few fights about children in Norway.
Among all divorces I'm familiar with, I can't remember anyone fighting about their children.
The normal situation is for the children to live in a divided household.
With the spouses agreeing about how to divide custody, like me and Lena are doing in this case.
-
Patagonie
Where did you find the part about mourning?
Me and Lena are rather pragmatic in behavior, and our divorce was a final decision before the end of last year.
At the end of february I decided to marry again and registered at a long list of dating sites (also Scandinavian)
Knowing how long it took me to find and marry with Lena, I found it best to start writing sooner rather than later.
-
I prefer to live in a close family, where we are doing things together. Wether it is household duties or traveling.
In my opinion, I see this as the best solution for my boys also.
A decision Lena fully supports for the sake of the boys, as they will be living more with me than with her.
I love children and found it most natural to search for single woman with her own child.
Preferably a girl close to the age of my boys.
-
I'm still in Kiev and feeling a little sorry for being unable to meet all of those I had promised to meet with.
The reason is, I am meeting with one of my favorites for the third time this evening.
I promised to myself not to get too emotionally involved before meeting all of those I have spent so much time finding……...
Boy, that ain't easy……….
-
Here is a picture Lena's father snapped with my mobile phone the first week in Dniepodzherzhinsk.
It's probably the last one of us being together.
-
The car a Peugot 607 was bought especially for this trip.
This is not a popular car in Ukraine, so I can park it anywhere without any risk for it being stolen.
In silver with black leather interior like this one, it's very good looking.
It's large and comfortable on the road and usually comes loaded with options.
With the 2.0 engine and manual transmission very economical.
This 2001 edition was in "like new" condition inside and outside and had a full service record to its 200.000 km
And at a price of 5000 Euro, they are dirt cheap to buy,,,
So far I have racked up 8000 km in it during the last two weeks without a single problem.
Jan

[ML]

That seems to be you in the picture; so if the other person is your father-in-law as you stated . . . did he go through a sex change operation?

[Hammer2722]

That seems to be you in the picture; so if the other person is your father-in-law as you stated . . . did he go through a sex change operation?

ML, you might want to re-read his post again. He says his Father-in-law snapped the photo!!! 

[GQBlues]

That seems to be you in the picture; so if the other person is your father-in-law as you stated . . . did he go through a sex change operation?

I see you're still afflicted with the Playboy subscription syndrome - the pictures always seem to get in the way in paying proper attention to what were written in the articles, and in this case the post, no?

But yes...the car really is pretty distracting.

[ML]

ML, you might want to re-read his post again. He says his Father-in-law snapped the photo!!! 

Darn . . . now I am up to 2 mistakes in my entire life.

[ML]

I see you're still afflicted with the Playboy subscription syndrome - the pictures always seem to get in the way in paying proper attention to what were written in the articles, and in this case the post, no?

But yes...the car really is pretty distracting.

Hey, how can I keep up with others who make really snappy replies if I have to take time to read carefully?

[Faux Pas]

Darn . . . now I am up to 2 mistakes in my entire life.

No that's a minimum of 3 because you can't count either 

[Patagonie]

The impression i got when you first came to write your story was about a success story always continuiing. I think that everybody IMHO understands the same. But in fact the divorce's decision had been discussed previous your posts.
I agree that 13 years of an happy marriage is still a success anyway.

Jan i saw all your photos and videos, i think i get the "atmosphere" of which type of family you are. I think you smooth things in your life as sweet are your photos and how  your twins are spending their time. I just hope sincerely that you can get out from feelings with your ex wife. I hope also that you can understand that this link, and you not divorced, can afraid FSU women.

As you have noticed things are not easy now, i would say that they are just different in the cross cultural dating than 10 years before. If i were you i would avoid to invite women at home if you have never met them first.

Enjoy your time in FSU   

[Ranetka]

The impression i got when you first came to write your story was about a success story always continuiing. I think that everybody IMHO understands the same.

Actually, no. His post reminded me of KenC's 10-years-late-trip-report. KenC was also considering divorce at the time. That's why I asked him a question why he was posting. I was right in my guess.

[GQBlues]

Likely this is a great example of what I've alluded to many times before. It's the 'IDEA' that gets men to dive into this - 'the chase', if you may, and very little thought is ever put into what lies thereafter.

It's akin to PTSD, I suppose. Men still fighting the war long after its cessation.

What I like about Northcape's story though is the fact he was supportive of his wife's life advancement and her personal achievement during their marriage. So I can't be too critical of this guy at all...

[Faux Pas]

What I like about Northcape's story though is the fact he was supportive of his wife's life advancement and her personal achievement during their marriage. So I can't be too critical of this guy at all...

I hope I haven't came across as critical of NC. I haven't meant to. Regardless of the divorce it appears that he is taking care (physically) of his family and even the wife for at least as long as she remains in it.

I question though, any woman that would be interested in Northcape, while he is still married, even just to date, that woman would be highly suspect to me. What woman in her "right" mind would get involved with a man that hasn't gotten out of his last marriage? He's carrying way too much baggage to be involved with another IMHO, at least at this juncture, and expect her to be a quality woman

[GQBlues]

...I question though, any woman that would be interested in Northcape, while he is still married, even just to date, that woman would be highly suspect to me. What woman in her "right" mind would get involved with a man that hasn't gotten out of his last marriage? He's carrying way too much baggage to be involved with another IMHO, at least at this juncture, and expect her to be a quality woman...

I concur. Especially the notion mostly spoken of in these fora how FSUWs are not too receptive being fed a man's past GFs, relationships, etc...much less a man who's not only still married, but have his (ex)wife facilitating his new search.

I will however speculate that Norway has got to be in the Top-3 preferred destination for a lot of FSUWs, if not the top choice. Couple this with the fact Northie is a good looking guy and an out and out good guy overall; could in fact sway many-a-wimmen to strongly consider him as being more a viable choice than the usual aged Ariel Castros' that seem to litter the MOB mess halls.

Personally, I'd much rather chill post-divorce and breathe in some fresh air for a while before seeking to tie another knot with anyone. Heck, if I were him - I'd shower myself fully into my two boys' lives and the other aspect of having a squeeze can come and go as the opportunity present themselves.

But, that's just me...

[pokerintherear]

I question though, any woman that would be interested in Northcape, while he is still married, even just to date, that woman would be highly suspect to me. What woman in her "right" mind would get involved with a man that hasn't gotten out of his last marriage? He's carrying way too much baggage to be involved with another IMHO, at least at this juncture, and expect her to be a quality woman

Im not making a statement of what kind of man the OP is but I read this before. Not exact words but close to what they were trying to say.

Certain woman would rather share or compete on a personal level for a high quality masculine man than have a emasculated nice guy mangina all to herself.

[Faux Pas]

Im not making a statement of what kind of man the OP is but I read this before. Not exact words but close to what they were trying to say.

Certain woman would rather share or compete on a personal level for a high quality masculine man than have a emasculated nice guy mangina all to herself.

I suppose that if that is the type woman one seeks then, it's the right way to go about it. That particular type woman wouldn't work for me.

[Doll]

Share the man? Yeah, "certain" women would.)))

[ML]

Where can I sign up to be 'shared' ?

There was a case here in USA maybe 15-20 years back where a wealthy 'society gal' along east coast somewhere, paid some money to husband and wife to 'share' the husband a certain number of days per year or some such.

The guy was an uneducated blue collar worker, but he was pretty good at tennis, and this wealthy gal wanted him mainly for that, but there were other services involved also.

It was actually taken to court I believe because, after some time and after payment had been already made for the coming year, the wife wanted to back out of the deal and maintain full 'custody' of her husband.  The wealthy gal was suing for breach of contract and specific performance.

Anyone else remember that case?

[BillyB]

Share the man? Yeah, "certain" women would.)))

Certain? It could be "most" women. If you had a choice between sharing a winner or being in sole possession of a loser, I think you would choose the winner. I can't imagine women dying to make love to homeless men with bad breath.
 
Due to the fact we have men that are in between the winners and losers gives ladies more options. Many ladies will be satisfied to have a normal guy full time instead of sharing an exceptional man.

[Doll]

Certain? It could be "most" women. If you had a choice between sharing a winner or being in sole possession of a loser, I think you would choose the winner. I can't imagine women dying to make love to homeless men with bad breath.
 
Due to the fact we have men that are in between the winners and losers gives ladies more options. Many ladies will be satisfied to have a normal guy full time instead of sharing an exceptional man.

No way I would share the man.

[Fashionista]

I agree that 13 years of an happy marriage is still a success anyway.

Happy marriages don't end in divorce. Hence the word "happy". There must have been some years of unhappiness. Or indifference. In fact, indifference would explain very well this bizarroworld romantic story. I guess the house was pretty big and nobody was in anyone's way, perhaps with a few separate entrances. That's happiness.