Just Starting out -- How about that Age Difference

[I/O]

JJ: Ours was (and probably is) a total crap shoot, ridiculous age difference, she didn't speak English - several years married, 3 kids etc.
 
Basically, it comes down to how much time and other resources you have.
 
 

[calmissile]

JJ: Ours was (and probably is) a total crap shoot, ridiculous age difference, she didn't speak English - several years married, 3 kids etc.
 
Basically, it comes down to how much time and other resources you have.

Wow!  Congrats for overcoming all those odds.   You definintely did it the hard way, but proved it can be done.  What is the rediculous age gap?

I think some of the posters make a good point about the language however.  I did it both ways and it definitely is much easier and faster if they know some English.

[Anechka]

Oh, men! The funny thing is that none of you considers learning some Russian  why is it always women who have to adapt and learn, why can't you do the same? 

[Daveman]

Oh, men! The funny thing is that none of you considers learning some Russian  why is it always women who have to adapt and learn, why can't you do the same? 

Noise VS. comprehension... do we *really* want to know what she's on about??? 



We adapt, learn, AND become a hell of a lot quicker in the process... for example, the frying pans and plates don't even come close now...


 

[Anechka]

Noise VS. comprehension... do we *really* want to know what she's on about??? 



We adapt, learn, AND become a hell of a lot quicker in the process... for example, the frying pans and plates don't even come close now...

Lol, well, my husband calls the noise "women's logic", you don't have to understand it 

Hmm, were frying pans and plates really that close? I doubt  However, that's the only method we, women, know that helps us to prove our point to our stubborn men 

The point is still the same, try to learn some Russian, firstly, your women can be proud of you even if you haven't done much progress, but you still keep trying, secondly, your trip to FSU will be much easier if you know a few words in Russian...

[I/O]

Oh, men! The funny thing is that none of you considers learning some Russian  why is it always women who have to adapt and learn, why can't you do the same? 

Because...................for the most part, she is moving to his country, not the other way around. Secondly, two people learning languages concurrently will not improve the overall communication result and in fact may even hinder it.
 
That said, I'm not suggesting he shouldn't learn her language, it's widely helpful but if the couple is reliant on that happening to construct a relationship, they are moving into very murky waters.
 
Cal: Ours is NOT a template others should follow, my point was, if you are to develop a relationship without common language, it will take more time and money than most are prepared to spend.

[southernX]

JJ
 

just my thoughts , opinion

first id be making  some sort of plan on what is realsitic for you and suits your individual situation ,
ie , are you a WOVO guy ,or WMVM , WMVO etc,
this is important as it must be something you are comfortable with , BE TRUE TO SELF !!!
second thing is how well do you know yourself ??
id reccomend take a deep look at who your are what type of person you are lookign for , in a general way , make some boundary guidelines and follow them ,

id certainly would not be looking at women more than ten years age  difference
others may differ, but it will increase your odds of long term success imho to stick to that approx rule of 1 decade

id also certainly communicate only with women who can speak even a little english , and yes anechka is correct try to learn some russian /ukraine if possible , use a CD  in your car etc, to learn some basic language skills ,
mine is still low , but at home it helps a lot , and in skype , when your on the ground there also

keep a cool head , stick to your plan , research/read  as much info as you can get your hands on ,
keep an open mind and positive attitude to all things ,

trust your instincts , they are usualy correct !!

in all things be a gentlemen and keep your word , if you say you will do something then do it ??  or have a dam good reason why not

this will build the trust in a relationship solidly , even when you are miles apart

the real work begins once you get married , it takes time,  it  takes work , patience trust , however it is a richly rewarded bloke who will know he is loved if you can stay the course and stick with it ,

SX

[Daveman]

Lol, well, my husband calls the noise "women's logic", you don't have to understand it 

Hmm, were frying pans and plates really that close? I doubt  However, that's the only method we, women, know that helps us to prove our point to our stubborn men 

The point is still the same, try to learn some Russian, firstly, your women can be proud of you even if you haven't done much progress, but you still keep trying, secondly, your trip to FSU will be much easier if you know a few words in Russian...

"Women's logic"... now THERE'S an oxy.. never mind...


Joking aside, I agree with you.      

[Eduard]

Oh, men! The funny thing is that none of you considers learning some Russian  why is it always women who have to adapt and learn, why can't you do the same? 

I learned some Russian!   

[southernX]

anechka ...The point is still the same, try to learn some Russian, firstly, your women can be proud of you even if you haven't done much progress, but you still keep trying, secondly, your trip to FSU will be much easier if you know a few words in Russian...

totall agree with you anechka ,

my wife loves the fact that i have learned many basic words in ukraine /russian
i am able to follow most conversations , read a little etc,

around home it makes it nice to use some words for same things , especially in the early stages of aclimatisation , it meant  less  intense concetration for my wife ,
knowing about mukka , skaravodka , yetsers, sohari , sok ,malokom, sucre  etc, all small things in the kitchen when cooking together that made it fun and shared learning ,

SX

[Eduard]

Wow!  Congrats for overcoming all those odds.   You definintely did it the hard way, but proved it can be done.  What is the rediculous age gap?

I might be mistaken but I believe I/O is in his early 80s and his wife is 24 or 25. Love knows no barriers!

[Eduard]

totall agree with you anechka ,

my wife loves the fact that i have learned many basic words in ukraine /russian
i am able to follow most conversations , read a little etc,

around home it makes it nice to use some words for same things , especially in the early stages of aclimatisation , it meant  less  intense concetration for my wife ,
knowing about mukka , skaravodka , yetsers, sohari , sok ,malokom, sucre  etc, all small things in the kitchen when cooking together that made it fun and shared learning ,

SX

Skara-vodka is my favorite! Goes well with kartoshka s seledkoj 

[I/O]

I/O is in his early 80s

[Anechka]

"Women's logic"... now THERE'S an oxy.. never mind...


Joking aside, I agree with you.   

I know it's an oxymoron  my husband keeps telling me that 

Usually, Americans know pierogi, babushka, and some basic words like privet and poka 

Skovorodka is definitely an advanced level of Russian especially if it comes with kartoshka and seledka (love that food)

[Anotherkiwi]

Oh, men! The funny thing is that none of you considers learning some Russian  why is it always women who have to adapt and learn, why can't you do the same? 

Some of us do!  Although my Russian is limited ("survival Russian" as my teacher calls it), I found that people opened up to me whenever I tried to use it.  I got a hell of a lot more smiles from shop staff, for example  .  It may help that I have a good ear for languages, and my pronunciation was highly commended by my teacher's father (a non-English speaker who was in New Zealand on holiday - we [the students] had to telephone him from our homes and have a basic conversation  ), so I felt much more confident knowing that I sounded OK.
 
I still need to brush up quite a bit before going back - unless I find one of these fluent English speakers that everyone recommends.
 
GOMG - are you listening?  A mutual love of Elton John is a great start...

[ML]

Oh, men! The funny thing is that none of you considers learning some Russian  why is it always women who have to adapt and learn, why can't you do the same? 

It's called Basic Logic 101.

Learn the language of where you will live and work.

Have extra time on your hands . . . use it in your given profession to earn more money to spend on wild vacations with your gal.

And, 'most' intelligent RW will resist if the man shows an interest in learning Russian/Ukrainian; happened to me every time I even hinted at it.

Reasons given:  Any time I (the RW) spend helping you with your Russian/Ukrainian will take away from the time you (AM) have to help me with my English.   And, any use of Russian/Ukrainian in our household will delay just that much more my complete mastery of English.

This is just another test to determine how intelligent any particular RW is.

My Gal will blabber away in Russian/Ukrainian if she by chance meets someone at a party, etc.; but she has resisted all suggestions of weekly get togethers for lunch, gossip, etc.

[Anechka]

It's called Basic Logic 101.

Learn the language of where you will live and work.

Have extra time on your hands . . . use it in your given profession to earn more money to spend on wild vacations with your gal.

And, 'most' intelligent RW will resist if the man shows an interest in learning Russian/Ukrainian; happened to me every time I even hinted at it.

Reasons given:  Any time I (the RW) spend helping you with your Russian/Ukrainian will take away from the time you (AM) have to help me with my English.   And, any use of Russian/Ukrainian in our household will delay just that much more my complete mastery of English.

This is just another test to determine how intelligent any particular RW is.

My Gal will blabber away in Russian/Ukrainian if she by chance meets someone at a party, etc.; but she has resisted all suggestions of weekly get togethers for lunch, gossip, etc.

Lol, my home language is Russian, which still allowed my to find my first job in one month after I came to the US it's all personal. Btw, I can speak French 

[Faux Pas]

 
GOMG - are you listening?  A mutual love of Elton John is a great start...

Have we a budding board romance? 

Don't blow it serenading Elton John

[Misha]

I learned some Russian!   

LOL! Imagine that Are there days you wish you hadn't 

[Eduard]

LOL! Imagine that Are there days you wish you hadn't 

I don't know! I'd have to think about that 

[cc3]

JJ, as a person who has seen lots of translations done by electronic translators and who is fluent in both English and Russian I can tell you one thing: You will be playing the proverbial "Russian Roulette" most of the time and only really understand who you married after yo have been married for at least a year and she would have learned English to the point where you two can communicate without having to use any e-translation. This goes both ways by the way. Am FSU woman who marries a WM who she gets to know with the help of e-translator only will only start realising who she married after she learns English and has been married to the man for a year or so. I personally know women who married American men and once they learned English and got to know them got disillusioned and left.
I'm sorry but when I see people who use e-translators advising others to use e-translators to me it looks like "The blind leading the blind".


Now there is definitely a place for e-translators for part of the time- when you skype with your lady or on dates when you want to spend some one-on-one time. But you should try to spend as much time as possible communicating with a woman with no language barrier at all. Only then you have at least a decent chance of getting to know who she is before marriage.
Let's face it, women can be hard to figure out even when you and her come from the same culture and speak the same language. Trying to figure out each other using e-translators where only about 30% gets translated correctly, the other 30% sounds like some strange secret code, the other 30% is translated with the opposite meaning (completely wrong) of what was intended, and 10% will spell out Russian words without attempting to translate them. I haven't calculated the exact percentages off course, but you get the idea.

This is the best summarized advice on dating FSUW's and the implications of their language skills for the potential success of your relationship. I have had relations with 4 FSUW's and one EEW (eastern European woman) over the last few years. Three spoke English at least semi-fluently; two spoke very poor English. My relations with the semi-fluent speakers were excellent, fluid, and enjoyable due to communications compatibility; relations with the poor speakers were strained, at best.

[cc3]

Oh, men! The funny thing is that none of you considers learning some Russian  why is it always women who have to adapt and learn, why can't you do the same? 

Global language: English...........Russian: NOT

[Eduard]

Global language: English...........Russian: NOT

NOT YET... Funny things have happned in the last 3 decades. USSR collapsed and Russia emerged a strong capitalist country who supplies energy to Western Europe holding them by the balls pretty much. The USA on the other hand have declined from #1 in the 80s to can't remember what is the exact number, but I think in the 20s now. And we still have to live through another 4 years of Obama who had promissed to take this country down a notch... this is one promise he is keeping... At this point in time Russian is not the language you need to know here in the States, but you'd be surprised how many Turks, Chinese, Vietnamese, Arabs, Africans and even Western Europeans speak very good Russian. While Americans are becoming poor, many Russians have become rich. They travel all over the world as tourists, do business in many different countries and own lots of real estate all over the world so you will find many non-russian foreigners who speak Russian on that side of the ocean. Frankly I wouldn't be surprised if Russian did become a "global" language in a few years.

[cc3]

NOT YET... Funny things have happned in the last 3 decades. USSR collapsed and Russia emerged a strong capitalist country who supplies energy to Western Europe holding them by the balls pretty much. The USA on the other hand have declined from #1 in the 80s to can't remember what is the exact number, but I think in the 20s now. And we still have to live through another 4 years of Obama who had promissed to take this country down a notch... this is one promise he is keeping... At this point in time Russian is not the language you need to know here in the States, but you'd be surprised how many Turks, Chinese, Vietnamese, Arabs, Africans and even Western Europeans speak very good Russian. While Americans are becoming poor, many Russians have become rich. They travel all over the world as tourists, do business in many different countries and own lots of real estate all over the world so you will find many non-russian foreigners who speak Russian on that side of the ocean. Frankly I wouldn't be surprised if Russian did become a "global" language in a few years.

The 1% in Russia, just as in the USA, are becoming more wealthy...does not mean that the whole world must become familiar with Russian, as it must with English.

If anyone should know, it would be you, Eduard, that the wealthiest 1% in Russia undoubtedly speak very good English.  Maria Sharapova speaks with absolutely no accent;  she sounds more American than most Americans. Should American tennis players learn Russian because some of the best players in the world are Russian?

I would be very surprised if Russian became a global language in a few years. Mainly because Russian is the language of a repressive and restrictive society. Russian arbiters of culture and language do not want to open up to the world, because they do not want any outside influences affecting their culture and language any more than they already have. When I see a Russian company develop a major global OS, competing with Windows and IOS for the world's computers, or an international web browser that is globally adopted, outside of the CIS countries, then, maybe, I will relent in my oppositional feelings... or, for something more dear to hearts here in the forum, when Russian speakers make a paradigm shift to value pleasant human relations more highly than they generally do now.

With the greatest respect, because I agree wholeheartedly with 99% of your posts, and because my fiancee is a native Russian speaker (who totally accepts and supports my desire to learn Ukrainian first).

[Anechka]

Global language: English...........Russian: NOT

Well, Russian is quite popular language, if you check here - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_language

It is one of the official UN language - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Official_languages_of_the_United_Nations

In addition, Russia is the biggest country at the moment 

Btw, it's always nice to speak 2 or 3 languages. So how many languages do you speak?