Thoughts on returning to Russia...what women are looking for.

[Muzh]

 And guess what, it's not the country or someone else that makes your life brighter and better than average and you happy. 

Absolutely correct.

[IAmZon]

Please, don't take it too close too heart and don't be offended, these are just some personal observations and a personal point of view, not absolute truth.

Not at all!  I hold many of the same negative opinions as you do - and I was born and raised here!  Alas, there is a long list of negatives that apply to every place.   In the end, there is no "perfect place" ... but many places can be made to be very, very good with the proper outlook and effort.

[Misha]

Please, don't take it too close too heart and don't be offended, these are just some personal observations and a personal point of view, not absolute truth.

I am curious and have one question. How long have you been back in Russia? I am certainly not offended, but in reading the post, it does read like the euphoric stage of culture shock that people usually experience when they travel to a new country for the first time.

[Anotherkiwi]

-In Russia you have a lot wider choice on what to have and what not to have. You can have a car but you don’t have to have a car especially if you live in a big city.

I think that everyone who has been to a Russian city of any size will agree that the public transport leaves the west for dead.
 

-Cats and dogs can walk, pee, bark and meow everywhere as long as they want and lay where they want as long as they want.

Why is this good?     I love animals, and they normally love me, but I would prefer to have a bit of peace and quiet than hear constant animal noises - rather like my attitude towards humans!  Note: there are two very noisy dogs living next door to me - just as well that I'm away from home for 12 hours a day 
 

-You can take a picture of a historical building without being afraid that  you will take a picture of someone’s car, house, kid, etc and someone will ask you to remove it because it’s a private property, etc.

Maybe, but try taking photos in the Metro.  Most station staff don't seem to mind, but there's always the odd one who jumps up and down screaming "Nyet!"
 

-Shopping malls are open approximately 10am-11pm, 9 am-12pm on Sundays. Small food stores which are within a walking distance are often open 24/7.

As someone who normally works until well after the closing time of ordinary shops, something like this would be very useful where I live.  Unfortunately it's only the supermarkets which seem to do this.  In defence of the shops, however, the cost in western society would probably outweight the benefits (i.e. not enough customers to justify the expense).
 

-Less GMO, cheap organic, food has a flavor, and there is milk 3.2% fat

Could you not get creamy milk in the USA?  In Russia I drank 3.4% - the brand I use here is about 3.7%, but we also have another brand that is nearly 5%.  I drank that when I was younger, but it's too rich for me now.
 

-You can wear high heels and pretty coats and dresses without being afraid of looking overdressed.

I'll pass on this one  - I would look ridiculous!  However, on a more serious note, I totally agree that RW walking around their own town generally seem to make much more of an effort to present themselves in a better light.
 

-More stuff for people with disabilities

That I am truly glad to hear about.  The lack of facilities for physically disabled people (especially those in wheelchairs) is a point that I've made in several posts over the last couple of years.
 

-Service is getting better, in many offices they record the conversation or have video cameras.

To be fair, in some places it could hardly get worse.  I'm glad that this western idea, at least, is gaining ground. 
 

-More people are using debit cards in stores.

Interesting - that would hopefully mean that tourists, as well as the locals, can carry less cash around.
 

Please, don't take it too close too heart and don't be offended, these are just some personal observations and a personal point of view, not absolute truth.

Definitely no offence - it is refreshing to have such observations.

[pitbull]

The best relationship in my opinion is where people fully and clearly realize it is going to be a contract between 2 people. As soon as some parts of this contract are broken the contract is over, too. The best thing you can discuss is to describe the paragraphs of the contract and decide if you are ready to live according to this contract without having any drama and changes in it.


As soon as you can provide your RW with the better life level she is looking for  it is going to be fine unless she finds a better provider, as soon as you start talking about true feelings and love without money it fails.


Opinions are welcomed

In my opinion, the way you describe marriage above is a recipe for disaster.

[Danchik]

-The majority of people live in small condos but they, not a bank own those condos, they don’t have to pay them off for years, besides most people I know have dachas and the quality of many dachas is better than the quality of the houses in the US (especially in the North or mid-west) that people have to pay off for long years.

More and more Russians are getting mortgages. This is especially true in Moscow

-In Russia you have a lot wider choice on what to have and what not to have. You can have a car but you don’t have to have a car especially if you live in a big city.

You have less choices in Russia than America, period.

If given the choice or having a car or not most Russians would opt for a car. Other than a car please tell me more options I have in Russia than in America? I do have the option of not having a car in America BTW.

-The cost of living is lower, the taxes are lower, the expenses are lower.

Relative to the salary I'd say it's about the same.
 

-T
he medical system is more affordable, you can choose what kind of service to have and how much to pay. If you pay the cost is reasonable and the service is good and you can pick up the day and time even if it is today. You can call the free ambulance or invite a free doctor to visit you at home just because you have a fever or a headache. Even if the ambulance is free you are served by a real doctor and not by a firefighter/paramedic.

Do the Russians doctors bring their own medical concoctions? A paramedic is qualified to handle such complex issues as headache and fever you know.

Oh, and hopefully I'm not dead by the time the ambulance gets to me.

-Women and children have a lot more bonuses in Russia than in the US.

Other than an extended maternity leave, no they don't. I can't tell you the number of stories I've heard about a RW not getting a job or promotion because of fear they would get pregnant and leave their jobs.

And try getting back into the workforce after being away for a couple of years and being over 30 for a woman.

--Less propaganda or any kind/I don’t care attitude.

Are you fking kidding me?

Your child is actually raised by you and people with a professional degree and not by a Mexican or  Chinese nanny with high school education.

You mean those Tajik nannies have a University education? Who knew?

Oh, and I was raised by a Mexican woman.

-People ALWAYS complain and whine a lot about the government, policy, rules, laws, leaders, salaries, lack of money etc, but buy a lot of stuff and travel at the same time.

You're talking about Russians right?

-You can buy a sim-card and a phone separately and change a sim card and a phone service provider when you want without changing your phone, incoming calls are free.

You can always buy an unlocked phone. I buy IPhones for Russians all the time when I'm in the States, you know. Much cheaper than Russia BTW.

-Cats and dogs can walk, pee, bark and meow everywhere as long as they want and lay where they want as long as they want.

Yeah, nothing like stepping in a pile of dogshit and having your entrance smell like cat piss to remind you you're home.

-You can take a picture of a historical building without being afraid that  you will take a picture of someone’s car, house, kid, etc and someone will ask you to remove it because it’s a private property, etc.

No comment. Never been asked to do anything with my photos afterward in Russia or America.

-You can walk where you want when you want.

True, hopefully there's not a car headed in your direction.

-Theatre tickets are more affordable

Barely, and if you include matinees, this isn't true.

-When you need some information you can come to the head office and be given the information and not to get a card with a phone number on it you need to call.

You mean like the time I paid for my internet which they forget to turn on, and I came to the office with my receipt and was told to fill out a form so they could decide if my complaint was justified. Gee, that process only took 3 weeks to decide. Then another 6 months to get my money back. You're killing me Vasalia

-When you call somewhere you normally speak with a person, not with an answering machine asking you to press 1,2,3,4 depending on what kind of the information you need to get.

Depends as more and more companies in Russia are moving to automated phones. I must agree that I don't like automated phone services.

-Shopping malls are open approximately 10am-11pm, 9 am-12pm on Sundays. Small food stores which are within a walking distance are often open 24/7.

Not much of an advantage unless we're talking about Europe where many places close at 6pm.

-People have seen American, French, Indian, German, Spanish movies and can remember some foreign actors.

OK.

-When Missis Russia can’t answer the question who Agnia Barto is it’s the reason for a popular prime time talk show episode.

And this is a good thing?

-Strangers  don’t normally bother you with small talks and personal questions.

No, just directions.

-Smile can be seen as flirt or desire to sell something.

Sorry, are we talking about Russia or America here?

-Less GMO, cheap organic, food has a flavor, and there is milk 3.2% fat

You can find any food anywhere in any big American city. Not so in Russia.

While I eat well here, I have to go to 3 different stores to get what I want. I also have to pay inflated prices to get certain food that is only available at high end stores.

-WWII veterans pension is higher than an average salary.

Please, do you really want to get into this subject here?

-You are not seen as an impolite or rude grumpy person when you don’t want to answer personal questions of a stranger who is “trying to be polite” having a conversation with you.

You're seen as a rude, grumpy person merely by being a Russian.

-People normally show their real feelings and their real attitude towards you not hiding it under smiles trying to impress you and look nice. If they don’t like you,  you will see it right away.

Yeah you're right. I see it everyday in the metro.

-When you are having a conversation people express what they think about it and have a conversation without cracking jokes after every phrase trying to look fun or smart or thinking if it’s politically correct/incorrect/if they are going to be sued/how they are going to be seen, etc.

Agree.

-The conversations are normally on a deeper level than a small talk and a couple of jokes. People on average are more educated, curious and open to the new information.

Debatable for sure.

-People read a lot, you can see a lot of readers in subway.

I see a lot of everything in the subway, including drunks, thieves, and bums.

OK, that's enough for now. Interesting stuff Vasalia and I'll get to the rest another day soon. May I ask what city you're in at present?

P.S. I'm not offended in the least with your opinions. Matter of fact I find this thread very interesting. Thanks.

[Vasilisa]

I am curious and have one question. How long have you been back in Russia? I am certainly not offended, but in reading the post, it does read like the euphoric stage of culture shock that people usually experience when they travel to a new country for the first time.

1 month.

[Vasilisa]

Folks, you don't get it. These are PERSONAL observsations, it's not the same in any place in Russia where you go. You didn't get the humorous tone of my post either.

I guess wasted time.

[Vasilisa]

In my opinion, the way you describe marriage above is a recipe for disaster.

I described not the model of a perfect relationship. I described the model of a MOB business relationship.  

[Vasilisa]

Danchik, you are hopeless, relax My post wasn't that serious at all.

Besides, even 1 year ago my opinion was like yours, now it's different. I have lived in both countries for more than 4 years' time and traveled in both countries,  as well as around the world.

I would object every remark you made but I see no point and it will take forever and I have a lot of stuff to do today, you either get what I mean or you don't. You don't. I am not comparing life in 2 countries trying to figure out where life is better, and what is good or what is bad, I mentioned the things which I hadn't noticed before moving in the US and took them for granted.About the cities the opinion is based on, these are St Peterbsurg, Kazan and Nizhny Novgorod.

[Danchik]

Folks, you don't get it. These are PERSONAL observsations, it's not the same in any place in Russia where you go. You didn't get the humorous tone of my post either.

I guess wasted time.

Not wasted it all. Seems you're not getting the humor directed in the other direction. Of course your observations are personal, as are mine. It's called relating darling. Try it, maybe you'll understand the world better .

[Danchik]

Danchik, you are hopeless, relax My post wasn't that serious at all.

Besides, even 1 year ago my opinion was like yours, now it's different. I would object every remark you made but I see no point, you either get what I mean or you don't. You don't.

Another who just can't take her/his own medicine.

Try using an emoticon or three. Might help people understand your sarcasm.

I have lived in both countries for over 10 years and travelled the world as well...these are observations I have made. It is also not about comparing which is better, but understanding things from one's perspective. Maybe it's you who needs to relax, I feel good today.

Enjoy your holiday

[Vasilisa]

 
Why is this good?     I love animals, and they normally love me, but I would prefer to have a bit of peace and quiet than hear constant animal noises - rather like my attitude towards humans!  Note: there are two very noisy dogs living next door to me - just as well that I'm away from home for 12 hours a day 
 

Did I mention it's good? Or I just mentioned the fact?!

[Vasilisa]

Another who just can't take her/his own medicine.

That's just rude.

[Vasilisa]

So even from this thread you can clearly seen what kind of women feel well in the US. 

[Danchik]

That's just rude.

No wonder you had such a hard time in the US. You see nobody's words except your own and you don't understand simple English phrases. Don't worry, I'll go back to what I was doing and leave you with your thoughts. I really did think we could have some fun with this thread, but you're way too uptight.

[Vasilisa]

No wonder you had such a hard time in the US. You see nobody's words except your own and you don't understand simple English phrases. Don't worry, I'll go back to what I was doing and leave with your thoughts. I really did think we could have some fun with this thread, but you're way too uptight.

Danchik, so how can you explain that the most agressive person I've met so far on this forum is a Russian living in the US?
And I didn't have hard time in the US at all. Who said I had hard time in the US?! I could have stayed in the US if I had wanted, as I have a 10 years' GC which will expire ifI don't go back. I preferred being with the people that love me and that need my help now since my marriage didn't work and the reason why I went in the US wasn't clean streets and opportunities but having a family.
Please, forgive me if my post hurt your feelings.

[Shadow]

More and more Russians are getting mortgages. This is especially true in Moscow

Moscow is Russia, but Russia is not Moscow.

You have less choices in Russia than America, period.

Not true.... exclamation mark.

If given the choice or having a car or not most Russians would opt for a car. Other than a car please tell me more options I have in Russia than in America? I do have the option of not having a car in America BTW.

Having been in America without a car I can say it is hardly called an option.
For about 60% of locations you do need one as public transport will even in metropolitan areas just cover the center.

Relative to the salary I'd say it's about the same.

Not in Moscow however....

Do the Russians doctors bring their own medical concoctions? A paramedic is qualified to handle such complex issues as headache and fever you know.

Oh, and hopefully I'm not dead by the time the ambulance gets to me.

And Americans call an ambulance for a headache or fever ?

Other than an extended maternity leave, no they don't. I can't tell you the number of stories I've heard about a RW not getting a job or promotion because of fear they would get pregnant and leave their jobs.
And try getting back into the workforce after being away for a couple of years and being over 30 for a woman.

Try it as a man in the US.

Are you fking kidding me?

The answer was yes.

You mean those Tajik nannies have a University education? Who knew?

Oh, and I was raised by a Mexican woman.

Yes, and it shows.

You're talking about Russians right?

No about Kiwi's

You can always buy an unlocked phone. I buy IPhones for Russians all the time when I'm in the States, you know. Much cheaper than Russia BTW.

Not when customs catch you. Apple wants to earn more outside the USA...

Yeah, nothing like stepping in a pile of dogshit and having your entrance smell like cat piss to remind you you're home.

Only when you come home drunk...which is unlikely in the USA as you need a car to go there.

No comment. Never been asked to do anything with my photos afterward in Russia or America.

Does that include showing them ?

You mean like the time I paid for my internet which they forget to turn on, and I came to the office with my receipt and was told to fill out a form so they could decide if my complaint was justified. Gee, that process only took 3 weeks to decide. Then another 6 months to get my money back. You're killing me Vasalia

Happens if you do not have connection.

Depends as more and more companies in Russia are moving to automated phones. I must agree that I don't like automated phone services.

Automated phone system + pay-per-minute number = $$$$$

Not much of an advantage unless we're talking about Europe where many places close at 6pm.

Which part of Europe are you talking about ?

And this is a good thing?

Its better as believing all Miss candidates really strive for a better world...

No, just directions.

Easier as Apple maps...

Sorry, are we talking about Russia or America here? [.quote]Russia. In America people are obliged to smile at anyone.

You can find any food anywhere in any big American city. Not so in Russia.

Any Russian big city has a very wide variety of food.
Now go to an American big city and try to get Manti.

While I eat well here, I have to go to 3 different stores to get what I want. I also have to pay inflated prices to get certain food that is only available at high end stores.

Live in Russia, eat as a Russian.

Please, do you really want to get into this subject here?

Why not?

You're seen as a rude, grumpy person merely by being a Russian.

Beats a smiling fool.... 

How does the medicine taste? 

[Danchik]

I wondered how long it would be for a hero to enter and save our poor princess.

[Shadow]

Could you format your response better so I can answer some of your idiotic reply's. The above is all I can get.  Oh, and that's some weak ass medicine you're serving. Am I suppose to be feeling something here? 

As already demonstrated, if you are replied as you intended yourself it is 'idiotic'. Waste of time, I agree with Vasilisa.

[Vasilisa]

Please, don't turn it into the discussion Russia vs USA, at the end of my post I mentioned that this is not ABSOLUTE TRUTH, but personal observations which are based in MY PERSONAL experience. Any person has his or her own experience. Danchik, Shadow, Gator, Muzh, etc. So that was MY experience.

It doesn't mean this is the way it really is in Russia and the US!!!

Didn't mean to start a war here.

[Vasilisa]

Warning! The things mentioned in the post are based on 1 personal experience of 1 person!

What my impressions are if to compare before and after?! Well, I would say there are a lot of changes that have been made, there is a saying that trying to improve you shouldn’t compare yourself with other people, you should compare yourself with yourself yesterday, so speaking about the country in these terms I would say that I see a lot of changes and improvements. After life in the West I can see and even admire the things that I didn’t notice in the past and took them for granted. Now I see them.
When some RW living abroad get homesick more experienced RW recommend them to go visit Russia, like it is supposed to scare them and run back in the US, but coming for a couple of weeks they see a cover. I learnt not to judge the book by its cover and to see beyond smiles, big houses with swimming pools, clean streets and green lawns.
-The majority of people live in small condos but they, not a bank own those condos, they don’t have to pay them off for years, besides most people I know have dachas and the quality of many dachas is better than the quality of the houses in the US (especially in the North or mid-west) that people have to pay off for long years.
-In Russia you have a lot wider choice on what to have and what not to have. You can have a car but you don’t have to have a car especially if you live in a big city.
-The cost of living is lower, the taxes are lower, the expenses are lower.
-The medical system is more affordable, you can choose what kind of service to have and how much to pay. If you pay the cost is reasonable and the service is good and you can pick up the day and time even if it is today. You can call the free ambulance or invite a free doctor to visit you at home just because you have a fever or a headache. Even if the ambulance is free you are served by a real doctor and not by a firefighter/paramedic.
-Women and children have a lot more bonuses in Russia than in the US.
-Less propaganda or any kind/I don’t care attitude.
-Your child is actually raised by you and people with a professional degree and not by a Mexican or  Chinese nanny with high school education.
-People ALWAYS complain and whine a lot about the government, policy, rules, laws, leaders, salaries, lack of money etc, but buy a lot of stuff and travel at the same time.
-You can buy a sim-card and a phone separately and change a sim card and a phone service provider when you want without changing your phone, incoming calls are free.
-Cats and dogs can walk, pee, bark and meow everywhere as long as they want and lay where they want as long as they want.
-You can take a picture of a historical building without being afraid that  you will take a picture of someone’s car, house, kid, etc and someone will ask you to remove it because it’s a private property, etc.
-You can walk where you want when you want.
-Theatre tickets are more affordable
-When you need some information you can come to the head office and be given the information and not to get a card with a phone number on it you need to call.
-When you call somewhere you normally speak with a person, not with an answering machine asking you to press 1,2,3,4 depending on what kind of the information you need to get.
-Shopping malls are open approximately 10am-11pm, 9 am-12pm on Sundays. Small food stores which are within a walking distance are often open 24/7.
-People have seen American, French, Indian, German, Spanish movies and can remember some foreign actors.
-When Missis Russia can’t answer the question who Agnia Barto is it’s the reason for a popular prime time talk show episode.
-Your personal information is not available to any person online unless you put it yourself.
-Strangers  don’t normally bother you with small talks and personal questions.
-Smile can be seen as flirt or desire to sell something.
-Less GMO, cheap organic, food has a flavor, and there is milk 3.2% fat
-WWII veterans pension is higher than an average salary.
-You are not seen as an impolite or rude grumpy person when you don’t want to answer personal questions of a stranger who is “trying to be polite” having a conversation with you.
-People normally show their real feelings and their real attitude towards you not hiding it under smiles trying to impress you and look nice. If they don’t like you,  you will see it right away.
-When you are having a conversation people express what they think about it and have a conversation without cracking jokes after every phrase trying to look fun or smart or thinking if it’s politically correct/incorrect/if they are going to be sued/how they are going to be seen, etc.
-The conversations are normally on a deeper level than a small talk and a couple of jokes. People on average are more educated, curious and open to the new information.
-People read a lot, you can see a lot of readers in subway.
-You can wear high heels and pretty coats and dresses without being afraid of looking overdressed.
-You actually have the places where to wear the beautiful clothes you have.
-It’s a poor taste to look fake.
-People are obsessed with the use of  natural, herbal and organic products.
-Still a  lot of superstitions, but more people put their pictures and pictures of their family and children in the social network.
-Cashiers in grocery stores have chairs so they don’t have to stand the whole day.
-Anticommercial and using a negative description of another company’s product in mass-media is illegal and unadvisable.
-Calling people names is officially illegal and is not seen as a freedom of a word.
-It’s advisable to look friendly and polite, it’s weird to look artificially overexcited and smile non-stop when you work in customer service.
Now about the changes:
-More cars (I mean a lot more cars.)
-More shopping malls.
-More restaurants and cafes.
-More country houses, the cities and towns are growing fast.
-More people who have traveled abroad and can afford traveling abroad.
-Salaries are higher
-Prices are higher, too, condos and houses’ prices are growing very fast
-More new roads build to reduce traffic, but the old roads especially in the suburbs are still in a bad condition
-New laws on driving, smoking, drinking, taxi services.
-Militia is police now
-The police just gives you a ticket/the conversation is recorded.
-More stuff for people with disabilities
-More schools or different kinds, if before you had to look through the newspaper looking for a private teacher now you have all kinds of schools offering private teachers, too.
-People are friendlier. Even if they act in a rude way and you answer not with aggression but with a smile or say sorry and treat them well they normally smile back, say sorry, too and treat you well, too.
-Service is getting better, in many offices they record the conversation or have video cameras.
-People have video cameras installed on their cars.
-“Digital lines” in offices or different kinds.
-More fitness clubs/swimming pools/stadiums
-More people interested in sport and sporting events
-More people are using debit cards in stores.
-More Russian-made movies and shows on TV, foreign ones are normally shown after 10 pm
-More TV and radio channels.
That’s what I remember right now. I may remember something later.

Please, don't take it too close too heart and don't be offended, these are just some personal observations and a personal point of view, not absolute truth.

[IAmZon]

So even from this thread you can clearly seen what kind of women feel well in the US.

Well, we BEGIN to see a deeper and different perspective.  But, these things can only be generalized so far.  The individual cases are, in the end, individual as "V" clearly notes.

But, I enjoy seeing Vasilisa's seemingly counter intuitive comments.

Particularly the way Russians / Eastern Europeans translate non verbal communication.  We Americans do not see ourselves in the mirror very often.  This is not, necessarily, to conclude that one perspective is better, or more correct, than the other.  Simply to show there are two perspectives/cultures and measurements for evaluation.

(Funny story demonstrates the point:  Dancing is more important in Latin America than drinking vodka is in Russia.  While I lived in South America, I learned to dance.  I was a normal American guy before this.  I would go on the dance floor and basically SHAKE- LOL.   But, after 3 months of classes, and a couple of years of drunken practice ... I learned to enjoy dance, and to it well - mas o menos.  So, there I was in Kharkov, Ukraine, in a Club.  I very confidently took a girl, gave her a turn ... danced a little, and then I sat down with the woman I actually wanted to meet in the first place,  and she politely asked me IF I WAS GAY. HAHAHA)

[Danchik]

Danchik, so how can you explain that the most agressive person I've met so far on this forum is a Russian living in the US?
And I didn't have hard time in the US at all. Who said I had hard time in the US?! I could have stayed in the US if I had wanted, as I have a 10 years' GC which will expire ifI don't go back. I preferred being with the people that love me and that need my help now since my marriage didn't work and the reason why I went in the US wasn't clean streets and opportunities but having a family.
Please, forgive me if my post hurt your feelings.

Vasalia, haven't you expressed how hard it was for you the last few months/years to find what you were looking for in America? It certainly isn't a secret on this forum. Part of that involved the mentality of Americans.

I understand why you returned to Russia. I'm in Russia too for many of the same reasons you are, it's about priorities and my, as well as yours, seem to be similar. I could go back to America at any time, and to California which is not at all a bad option, but I prefer to stay here. I think you know why. 

Again, if you really read my post and not get defensive, I was trying to add, not detract from the conversation. Did you not read this:

"P.S. I'm not offended in the least with your opinions. Matter of fact I find this thread very interesting. Thanks."

My feelings are fine. And I can't answer you as to why the most aggressive person you've met so far on this forum is a Russian. Maybe just a coincidence.

[Belvis]

And I can't answer you as to why the most aggressive person you've met so far on this forum is a Russian. Maybe just a coincidence.

Danchik, I've got impression Vasilisa confused one guy of Mexican descent from LA with that aggressive Russian. 
But your style of conversation could be taken as coming from a Russian, indeed