Where to find an American fiancee?

[Kokopelli]

Ive been to New York too. Largest city near me is Yekaterinburg - thats where I live.
Ive tried looking for any possible jobs out there, belive me, sent millions of resumes, but they all require me to have a permanent residency.

Did you like New York? My friend in Rostov hated it but he does not like Moscow either. He liked Yellowstone and the people, could not understand why he could not swim in any lake (private property), Las Vegas was nice and the people where good.
Yekaterinburg has a population of about 1.35 million so you may want to find a guy close to a similar sized city.

Everyone is sending resumes and having problems too, different problems but the same result. If and when the government creates a stable environment for business that could change.

[Kokopelli]

Katerina, i don't know how experienced you are in online dating, but when you do register on all those sites, don't let your spirits drop when you get messages from 60 year olds   
It can't hurt to keep a profile up on all those sites, just have to take them with a dose of cynicism
And do inform yourself about keyboard romeos before you start. It's a real plague! So try not to commit to anyone you haven't met, cuz tons of men will write until the end of times about the wonderful marriage they see with you and keep promising to visit, and never actually do it. So don't let them get to you!!!

What is too long to write? A day? A week? A month? Six months?
If all is a pretense then they are the equivalent to scammers.
And watch those "sexting"
I tried it once, I got writer's cramps and had to quit. I was accused of "premature evacuation".   

The 60 year olds are easy, ignore them or block them. If bad, report them. The sites I gave you have a tab that shows who viewed your profile. If find a guy who is say 31 looks, doesn't write and you are interested in; send him a hi.
Some American women will ask men out if they are interested. If interested say hi.

[Aloe]

What is too long to write? A day? A week? A month? Six months?
If all is a pretense then they are the equivalent to scammers.
And watch those "sexting"
I tried it once, I got writer's cramps and had to quit. I was accused of "premature evacuation".   

The 60 year olds are easy, ignore them or block them. If bad, report them. The sites I gave you have a tab that shows who viewed your profile. If find a guy who is say 31 looks, doesn't write and you are interested in; send him a hi.
Some American women will ask men out if they are interested. If interested say hi.

After second unfulfilled promise it is officially too long to write in my book. There are very many men out there who write to women, and create a likeness of having a relationship with the woman. They will write in great details about your future life together, about the practical things about visa, about your wedding, about your pension plan, about your living/moving together, every tiniest little practical and romantic detail. It is very difficult not to fall in that trap, because they seem to have thought of everything and REALLY seem to be preparing for your life together.. One guy even gave me his credit card information so i could buy something online and introduced to his relatives over webcam. But when it comes to actually visiting, these tons of guys come up with tons of excuses and make tons of plans to visit you next september, oops, next may, oops next december.. And they keep stringing you along and along and along. And there are very very many of such guys on those websites. So, after second unfulfilled promise, possibly even first unless it's an incredible candidate, it is officially too long to write.
Just as a side note, all 6 guys i've met in real life showed up (well we met in a third country mostly) within 1 month of initial contact. It can be a coincidence. But i've also had very many who kept promising to show up and always it didn't happen for one excuse or another, and who built those dream castles full of details. From my personal experience, the guys who actually show up never waste time on those castles, because they wanna MEET FIRST to see if it's actually worth pursuing, before they waste time on a long distance relationship. It can all be a coincidence, but as far as i understand the general consensus of experienced women in this search is visit within 3 months or you go on the slow burner.

[Katerina07]

Thank you guys for your advice! 
I signed up on some of those websites you recommeneded lets see where it goes! ))

[BillyB]

Who? Me? 

I meant Katerina but don't feel bad! You're on my mind too. 

I signed up on some of those websites you recommeneded lets see where it goes! ))

Great! If you have free time from the thousands of men writing you, don't forget about us and come back and share your experiences on how Western men communicate with you.

[Carolyn]

Doesn't anyone here use eHarmony? It's looks the best to me. Though I'm not sure if many guys under 30 use it.

[Larry1]

Doesn't anyone here use eHarmony? It's looks the best to me. Though I'm not sure if many guys under 30 use it.

I've used eHarmony.  It was ok.  But it's possible that it, like Match.com, is set up to keep people in FSU from registering (see my reply #25 on the previous page).

[BillyB]

Doesn't anyone here use eHarmony? It's looks the best to me. Though I'm not sure if many guys under 30 use it.

 
If you're living in Russia looking for an American man, use an international dating site or marriage agency that specializes in getting people from different countries together. Most American men looking of local ladies won't or can't consider a lady living in Russia.

[ML]

Doesn't anyone here use eHarmony? It's looks the best to me. Though I'm not sure if many guys under 30 use it.

Carolyn, as others have said, only American men who are looking for a gal from FSU will be considering you.  95% if AM on a dating site are looking for an AW, they won't even be thinking about a FSUW.

So you must go to sites that are designed to put FSUW in touch with AM who are interested in FSUW.

Here are the sites:

http://www.russianwomendiscussion.com/index.php?topic=14615.0

[Carolyn]

I've used eHarmony.  It was ok.  But it's possible that it, like Match.com, is set up to keep people in FSU from registering (see my reply #25 on the previous page).

No, it's absolutely open for people from FSU. I use it 

[Lily]

No, it's absolutely open for people from FSU. I use it 

Carolyn, do you mean to say that Match.com is open to people in the FSU?
 
What do you particularly like about the eHarmony?

[BillyB]

No, it's absolutely open for people from FSU. I use it 

Whether you're talking about eharmony or match.com, most people who sign up for it look for local people. Men may chat with you, even flirt with you but there are a very small percentage of men there that will fly to you. Other sites in the link ML provided can make better use of your time and achieve your goals. At most of those sites, all men who sign up clearly understand they are connecting with women overseas so they are more likely to get on a plane to visit you.

[GQBlues]

Where to find an American fiancee?

Try either of the following OneWeekWonder.com or LoveYouLongTime.org

But seriously, if you're having trouble finding a 'fiancee' online...maybe you ought to use a more subtle approach, like say, register yourself as a 'back-up lady'...

Many American men jump all over that dandy. Also, I think MaryKugut could use a new client. Send her a PM.

[Voyager36]

Yeah, try to find someone your own age Katerina07.
No more than +5 years.
And for God's sake, stay away from the 70 yo goats.
 
GOB
 

What's wrong with 28 - 30? If she prefers a more mature guy nothing wrong with that....

Ive read some reviews about elenas models that guys dont really text much on there. You think I should give it a shot anyway?

IIRC, on EM the ladies can initiate the conversation, so you have some more control.
 

[Nathan1982]

Hello,

Being an American man myself and having explored the dating scene in America I also think you will have bad luck using a site which does not specifically cater to foreigners (to USA). Plenty of Fish is also not a good site for marriage. Most men in America will immediately think scam the moment you say you are in Russia, if your profile doesn't say you are.

The best way is to move to USA first. If that's not possible for you right now then you should try Elana's Models (the site I'm on right now, but I'm too new to be able to recommend it).

In general from what I gather there are a ton of men on these types of sites looking for an easy marriage to a hot girl, because they are unattractive or old or something. But keep in mind there are also plenty of younger and attractive men looking on these sites as well (like me). Of course everyone is attractive to someone, it's all relative, but I'm sure you understand what I mean.

Anyway long story short, the key to dealing with American men is that we take a small thing and believe quickly that it reflects a larger part of you. Catch you in one tiny lie? You're a liar, not a wife. This changes over time but certainly in an online dating environment we're guarded. Or at least I am. We are very cautious online because as a culture we're used to being ripped off and scammed from ourselves and other nations.

So be honest and straightforward about what you want and get yourself out there. You will be able to tell who wants to have sex with you and who wants to marry you fairly easily, if you pay attention. Just remember cultural differences can apply, so make sure your expectations are written in plain English, not just implied.

Good luck!

[GQBlues]

...Anyway long story short, the key to dealing with American men is that we take a small thing and believe quickly that it reflects a larger part of you. Catch you in one tiny lie? You're a liar, not a wife. This changes over time but certainly in an online dating environment we're guarded. Or at least I am. We are very cautious online because as a culture we're used to being ripped off and scammed from ourselves and other nations...

Wow Nathan. I can't help but wonder exactly how many American men you personally know to make that type of sweeping statement? I'm an American and I have never been a part of any online matchmaking service - much less fit the bahavioral pattern in which you universally describe to be a typical.
 
Heck, if the OP was living stateside, I'd just as well tell her (or him) to stay out of these online matchmaking silliness and spend more time outside and flat-out socialize and meet people.

[Nathan1982]

Sorry you seem to think what I said means most men use online dating? I'm saying that when we use online dating we tend to be cautious. Not that we use it a lot, or a little.

I'm an American and I have never been a part of any online matchmaking service

How did you meet your FSU wife? Or am I not understanding what this site is about?

[GQBlues]

Sorry you seem to think what I said means most men use online dating? I'm saying that when we use online dating we tend to be cautious. Not that we use it a lot, or a little. ...

No need for apologies and no, I didn't think you meant to say anything other than the part where you seem to like to speak for ALL American men by your repeated insistance to use the word *we*.
 

......Anyway long story short, the key to dealing with American men is that we take a small thing and believe quickly that it reflects a larger part of you. Catch you in one tiny lie? You're a liar, not a wife. This changes over time but certainly in an online dating environment we're guarded. Or at least I am. We are very cautious online because as a culture we're used to being ripped off and scammed from ourselves and other nations...

...who are these *WE*?

[ML]

You will be able to tell who wants to have sex with you and who wants to marry you fairly easily, if you pay attention.

So should she avoid those who want to have sex with her?

[Nathan1982]

I am one of those people who doesn't know every single person in the United States. Therefore I must go off of my limited information, which is comprised of knowing about 10000 people in America, about half of which are men, and of those about 40% of them or more have used online dating. Coupling that with common sense and observations I've made about the tendencies people in America have vs the 2 dozen other countries I've been to, with regards to skepticism and scams, internet fraud prevention awareness, and general exposure to Engineer Robson (http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/njy/212013545.html) and his pals via endless Viagra, Penis enlargement miracles and princes who are in trouble and need someone to deposit millions of dollars for them, and finally factoring in the much heavier exposure to consumerism, pyramid and ponzi schemes and infomercials, I am hazarding a wild guess here to assume without any hard facts, that on average the typical American male, when looking for a worthy match of a wife, who is using the internet to try to achieve this goal, will in fact be more cautious than if he were doing something like wandering around a grocery store, and in fact more skeptical than the average person in the world who is not American.

I will also go out on a far limb to use my psychic forecasting abilities to predict that the average American male in this heightened state of cautiousness and skepticism towards a website with thousands of attractive females and advertisements which appeal directly to his more primitive instincts, will be extremely put off by discovering a lie being told by the person behind the keyboard he is talking to.

That's my opinion on it, anyway. Of course we can still use generalities in our language and leave it up to the interpreting party to understand the obvious: there is nearly nothing similar among every single human in any country, and all opinions stated by myself or even an expert on a given subject are opinions.

So should she avoid those who want to have sex with her?

I make no assumptions on the matter I also, you'll notice, don't qualify there must be a difference. Some men may be both or either.

[GQBlues]

I am one of those people who doesn't know every single person in the United States. Therefore I must go off of my limited information,...

Exactly. Anything else is just noise. There's no absolution in generalities.

[Nathan1982]

Exactly. Anything else is just noise. There's no absolution in generalities.

You do realize the irony of your generalizing statements, right?

[GQBlues]

There isn't any actually. You spoke for all American men but when asked, you confess only *knowing* a fairly limited few. Few hardly represents 'most' and defintely not *all*

[Daveman]

Try either of the following OneWeekWonder.com or LoveYouLongTime.org

But seriously, if you're having trouble finding a 'fiancee' online...maybe you ought to use a more subtle approach, like say, register yourself as a 'back-up lady'...

 

[ML]

This might be a new business opportunity.

Those of you who are web savy . . . create a new match site that specializes in 'back up' dates.

It could be that more LTRs and marriages would occur from that site rather than from 'first choice' sites.  First choice sites involve too much focus on pictures and lust. 

But with the 'back up' dates, the man would be relieved that he at least met someone and that his time and money wouldn't have been in vain. 

In this frame of mind, proposals would be likely to follow.