Question for members in the process and those who have been there and done that

[Muzh]

Since I've been accused of just harassing members and not posting topics, let's change that perception.

This may have been discussed previously but since we have a number of recent additions I think it's worth a try.

I have read many posts where the guy can barely understand what the girl is saying. Still, he submits a petition to bring a girl to his country to marry her. In some countries they have to marry before they can petition her intended to join him.

My question for the guys and please be as honest as you can:

What is it that makes you propose to a person you can barely communicate with?
Is it love at first sight or lust at first sight?

My question for the ladies and again, asking for honesty in their answers:

What is it that makes you accept such a proposal knowing nothing about the guy or his country, or the language, or the culture?

What guarantees you see that he is not a drunk womanizer a la the local boys and he will be a good provider to you? How do you get the reassurance for this?

[GoodOlBoy]

Since I've been accused of just harassing members and not posting topics, let's change that perception.

Hey Muzh ( ik ? ), good luck with that one buddy. 
 
Marina (my RW) wrote and spoke pretty good English.
She even knew some American slang words. 
I was contacted by several FSUW who could not communicate without a translator. 
Obviously, when a man (or woman) contemplates marrying someone they don't share a common language with, they are flirting with disaster.
 
My advice to Newbies has always been the same: "Don't marry a stranger".
 
GOB

[Shadow]

There is always some difference in what you might read out of it and reality.
I read today a guy who has trouble making his girl understand what information is required to give. That is a different thing from not being able to communicate.

MrsShadow speaks pretty good English, and more Dutch as she wishes to admit, but when it is in regards to specific information she still prefers to translate to ensure she gets it right.

[GQBlues]

...
My question for the guys and please be as honest as you can:

What is it that makes you propose to a person you can barely communicate with?
Is it love at first sight or lust at first sight?...

Personally, there's no way I can/will have patience for that so I didn't. It isn't because I didn't try either. At the behest of a RW living in the US, I made an exception to meet a woman from Moscow my first visit who didn't speak English. She contacted me through Elenasmodels and for 1.5 months after we *communicated* in English...but ultimately I found out she really couldn't speak English. How that came to light was a story in of itself.
 
So we met in Moscow and this gal could've easily been most everyone's ideal woman/wife. She's an incredibly wonderful person strictly judging from the trouble she went through for me and the attention she tried to give me while in Moscow. Young, beautful brunette with the bluest blue eyes I've ever seen, bubbly/happy personality, OY - body to die for, etc.. I just couldn't see past the fact we couldn't even talk about the most basic things in person.
 
I hope she eventually found in someone what she had hoped with me as I have in mine.

[Kokopelli]

Since I've been accused of just harassing members and not posting topics, let's change that perception.

This may have been discussed previously but since we have a number of recent additions I think it's worth a try.

I have read many posts where the guy can barely understand what the girl is saying. Still, he submits a petition to bring a girl to his country to marry her. In some countries they have to marry before they can petition her intended to join him.

My question for the guys and please be as honest as you can:

What is it that makes you propose to a person you can barely communicate with?
Is it love at first sight or lust at first sight?

Status: in process
I wouldn't propose marriage marriage if there were communication problems. I have met enough English speaking women that I had this problem with. 
With language differences, it just takes longer.
Love or lust at first sight? Probably lust.
Haven't you met a "nice house but nobody home" kinda of girl?
If she becomes more beautiful the more you get to know her, that's the click.

[Boethius]

Since I've been accused of just harassing members and not posting topics, let's change that perception.

Consider the sources.
 

My advice to Newbies has always been the same: "Don't marry a stranger".

My view is, you are strangers until you live together. 
 
In terms of communication, I suppose much depends on what you want in a relationship.  For some people, not having a common language may be a plus, at least, until the FSUW learns fluent English.
 
 
 

[Misha]

What is it that makes you propose to a person you can barely communicate with?

I don't know. I spoke Russian with my wife and we still speak only in Russian with each other.

[Anotherkiwi]

I don't know. I spoke Russian with my wife and we still speak only in Russian with each other.

How good is her English now?  I'm guessing that not all of your local shopkeepers speak Russian.

[BillyB]

What is it that makes you propose to a person you can barely communicate with?
Is it love at first sight or lust at first sight?

 
I'd never get involved with a woman I can't communicate with but I won't criticize the guys who do. Actions still speak louder than words and read enough trips reports to understand those with language barriers can over come it with actions. Good manners, being courteous and a desire to want to be together has helped a few people with language barriers truly fall in love with each other. Can't say they represent the majority though. It's easy to assume it's lust is on the majority of men's minds when they want to marry a woman they can't talk to.

[Misha]

How good is her English now?  I'm guessing that not all of your local shopkeepers speak Russian.

She speaks in English with everybody else in town, but speaks in Russian with me and her Russian friends.

[ML]

She speaks in English with everybody else in town, but speaks in Russian with me and her Russian friends.

Ah ha . . . so it is you that can't speak in English !!

[Misha]

Ah ha . . . so it is you that can't speak in English !!

What are you talking about? I speak English, French and Russian.

[jone]

Muzh,

This is a difficult question.  I speak some Russian.  Native Eastern Europeans listening to me would say that I have a good accent but speak at the level of a three year old.  My understanding of Russian is much greater than my speaking ability.

I have dated three women that spoke only Russian.  It was difficult to gauge their sincerity and their trust.    I felt that there were aspects of the relationship that could never be successful until the communication gap was eliminated.

Accordingly, I looked for a woman who understood English as well as I understood Russian so we could speak our native languages and be understood. 

Today, the woman I date is a good English speaker.  She speaks English to me most of the time except when she is saying something endearing.  Then she uses Russian and smiles at me, making sure I understand.   (Panyatna!)  Conversely, I do not speak Russian much to her.  I should note that when we speak on Skype, usually we take a minute of each conversation to improve her grammar.  It is improving rapidly and she is already past many of the typical ESL (English as a second language) mistakes.  We do not yet work on my Russian.

While I could date a woman who I did not understand, I could never be intimate with such a woman, and certainly not marry her, until communication was successful.    My family would have difficulty accepting a  woman who could not speak English, so I would wait to introduce her.

[Ade]

Ah ha . . . so it is you that can't speak in English !!

LOL You've been practicing.

[ancha1c]

My question for the ladies and again, asking for honesty in their answers:

What is it that makes you accept such a proposal knowing nothing about the guy or his country, or the language, or the culture?

What guarantees you see that he is not a drunk womanizer a la the local boys and he will be a good provider to you? How do you get the reassurance for this?


[/quote]

Nothing guarantees anything It's just lust and/or sense of adventure that makes a woman accept proposal. Or just foolishness.

Sometimes when one is in love language barrier is not really an issue. It can be improved after all. Doesn't take long.
Personally I believe that the two MUST meet before proposing/accepting the proposal. And preferably meet several times, not just once. And even better wait for a year or two and try to get to know each other better.

[Belvis]

What guarantees you see that he is not a drunk womanizer a la the local boys and he will be a good provider to you? How do you get the reassurance for this?

Well, that's the question. I knew many FSUW who had elected drunk womanizers over good providers among local boys. They're called womanizers not only because they like babes but because babes like them too. So let him be a sober womanizer with potential ability to be a good provider in a single package

[Muzh]

My question for the ladies and again, asking for honesty in their answers:

What is it that makes you accept such a proposal knowing nothing about the guy or his country, or the language, or the culture?

What guarantees you see that he is not a drunk womanizer a la the local boys and he will be a good provider to you? How do you get the reassurance for this?




Nothing guarantees anything It's just lust and/or sense of adventure that makes a woman accept proposal. Or just foolishness.

Sometimes when one is in love language barrier is not really an issue. It can be improved after all. Doesn't take long.
Personally I believe that the two MUST meet before proposing/accepting the proposal. And preferably meet several times, not just once. And even better wait for a year or two and try to get to know each other better.

Ancha1c, where did you come from? 

Thanks your your candid answer, that's exactly what I was looking for. 

Please, don't be a stranger.

BTW, your nickname in Spanish means the same as what some American men would call a woman; broad. Not really my favorite.

[Muzh]

Well, that's the question. I knew many FSUW who had elected drunk womanizers over good providers among local boys. They're called womanizers not only because they like babes but because babes like them too. So let him be a sober womanizer with potential ability to be a good provider in a single package

LMAO

 

[mendeleyev]

Personally I believe that the two MUST meet before proposing/accepting the proposal. And preferably meet several times, not just once. And even better wait for a year or two and try to get to know each other better.

Agreed.

[ML]

Personally I believe that the two MUST meet before proposing/accepting the proposal.

NO, NO !!

That will screw up everything.

[Faux Pas]

My question for the ladies and again, asking for honesty in their answers:

What is it that makes you accept such a proposal knowing nothing about the guy or his country, or the language, or the culture?

What guarantees you see that he is not a drunk womanizer a la the local boys and he will be a good provider to you? How do you get the reassurance for this?




Nothing guarantees anything It's just lust and/or sense of adventure that makes a woman accept proposal. Or just foolishness.

Sometimes when one is in love language barrier is not really an issue. It can be improved after all. Doesn't take long.
Personally I believe that the two MUST meet before proposing/accepting the proposal. And preferably meet several times, not just once. And even better wait for a year or two and try to get to know each other better.

The bigger question there however is, how can one fall in love if they haven't had even the simplest rudimentary conversation between themselves? Forget any deep meaningful one

[BillyB]

The bigger question there however is, how can one fall in love if they haven't had even the simplest rudimentary conversation between themselves? Forget any deep meaningful one

 
I'm sure most people used translators in email before meeting. There are some ladies with limited English I spoke to over the phone and when they had a hard time conveying what they want to say, they offered to write an email in Russian and translate it. Translators aren't perfect but still their passions and desires come through. It's not hard for people to sort out the important things such as goals, beliefs, and the path they want in life.
 
 
As far as meaningful converstations go, if a guy calls a woman everyday and tries to have a conversation with her and flies half way across the world to see her, that is meaningful to a woman. I've called a few ladies that overestimated their English abilities in their profile. One thing that impressed me is how hard they tried to talk to me and enjoyed my phone calls. They don't want to hang up. Although I didn't build a bond with any of those ladies, I can see it's possible for two people with a language barrier learning together, growing together and bonding together.

[Gator]

I am hesitant to enter the discussion because the two choices given for answers suggest a bias:     
 
 

Is it love at first sight or lust at first sight? 
 

The correct answer is neither of these, which frankly sound like teenagers in heat.  I have a news bulletin for you.   Two adults, 40 and 62, can have a good time together and want to meet again.  We did.  It started with good feelings and grew eventually to emotional connection after several meetings . 
 
We corresponded for several months before meeting, and we spoke using an interpreter several times. Thus we had a reasonable concept of the other's history and goals.  I had a good feeling before meeting her. Our time together was splendid, except she thought me not serious at first.   We did miss having intellectual conversations.
 
There are ways of communicating without words.  Keep in mind that she had been a professional athlete as a teenager and a successful runway fashion model in Europe for 13 years.  Thus, she had stage presence.  Yet this was tempered by her phenomenal grace, the  ethereal beauty of Katherine Hepburn.    Finally  there is the third part of her persona; in juxtaposition is her core, that of a hearty family-oriented Cossack man's daughter.  These qualities express themselves in different ways.
 
 
She is a fascinating woman to the point of being captivating.  I feel I am a very lucky man, and I certainly am happy today that I ignored her lack of English.   If she had been conversant in English, she would be what she is today, and I presume we would have been together sooner rather than  taking six years.  And we would have avoided much frustration.  Does it matter now?
 
From her perspective she had a good life in Russia and was not desperate to leave.  Plenty of RM suitors.  She was reassured about me upon coming to America via a tourist visa.  She met my sons and friends, and she saw how I lived.
 
That's the story. 

Ooooops.  I edited this to say she is gorgeous, tall and slender, a model with breasts to use her description.
 

[Faux Pas]

I'm sure most people used translators in email before meeting. There are some ladies with limited English I spoke to over the phone and when they had a hard time conveying what they want to say, they offered to write an email in Russian and translate it. Translators aren't perfect but still their passions and desires come through. It's not hard for people to sort out the important things such as goals, beliefs, and the path they want in life.
 

Maybe most people do. I didn't; where does that leave us? Passions and desires come through an electronic translator or is the the 3rd person on the telephone? Whose passion Billy, the electronic translators or the 10 bucks an hour honor student translator? You are so thick and full of yourself it's damn near incomprehensible
 

As far as meaningful converstations go, if a guy calls a woman everyday and tries to have a conversation with her and flies half way across the world to see her, that is meaningful to a woman.

Yeah but, where's the conversation? Who flies across the world for a woman he's never even spoken too? You? Please Billyb, tell us of this experience and how it worked out for you?

I've called a few ladies that overestimated their English abilities in their profile. One thing that impressed me is how hard they tried to talk to me and enjoyed my phone calls. They don't want to hang up. Although I didn't build a bond with any of those ladies, I can see it's possible for two people with a language barrier learning together, growing together and bonding together.

Please, stick to the TOPIC

[BillyB]

you are an idiot
 

 Dolt.

 
moron

 
Why so grumpy? Not getting any tonight?