hello

[BillyB]

I am looking for help so this relationship can continue.

What's so special about her that you want this relationship to continue? You can't talk to her and when you try, it's only once a month. Sounds to me you don't like her all that much or she doesn't like you all that much. Why the limit on communication to once a month? How was her behavior towards you when you visited her?

[johnnatebret]

The translator in Ukraine was $20/hr. They charge me $100 for skype call. That is the problem I am having with all of this.

[Ooooops]

The translator in Ukraine was $20/hr. They charge me $100 for skype call.

Wow!       You spend 5 hours Skyping?   

[johnnatebret]

I email her daily

[johnnatebret]

no, only an hour

[ML]

The translator in Ukraine was $20/hr. They charge me $100 for skype call. That is the problem I am having with all of this.

Johnnie, I have some great investments for you.
Surefire deals.

Unbelievable.

I am getting sick in stomach again.

[Ooooops]

no, only an hour

So how this Skype can cost $100 then?       

[Boethius]

I'm sorry, john but you are probably being scammed.  $100 is a lot of money still, in Ukraine.  There is high unemployment in most of the country, and average gross (official) salary in the country (albeit, it varies from region to region) is under $400.

Your girl and the translator are probably splitting this "skype" fee.  Time to tell her you will continue skyping with her only without a translator.  If she is unwilling to do so, then you will know, with certainty, that this is a scam.

[Ooooops]

Unbelievable.

I find it hard to believe too...

[johnnatebret]

That's what I asked the translator, but got no answer. If this was a simple scam I would probably know it, but I can't tell if the agaency is doing this or the girl is. Some things she does seem to be real and other things seem funny. That is the problem I am facing. I met her in person several times and had a good time with her. She has added me to her social page without hesitation.(I found it on my own, she didn't tell me about it.) I get some great emails that I know are from her.( some I'm not so sure.) So is she scamming me or is the place that is translating everything taking me for as much money as possible.

[ML]

OK now, troll alert is posted.

I need to get to bed.

[Boethius]

If she is a Ukrainian, and is allowing you to pay the translator $120 for a skype session, she does not have your interests at heart.

[BillyB]

I visited her in March.

I met her in person several times

Is it once or several times?

[johnnatebret]

I spent a week in Ukraine in March and went on several dates with her.

[facetrock]

  John. Why don't you start from the beginning. Like how she contacted you and through what agency. When you took the trip, how much time you spent with her. Keep it in chronological order. Right now your giving bits of info here and there. If we could see the whole picture from you we could tell for sure if your getting scammed.

[Ooooops]

That's what I asked the translator, but got no answer.

You are shy, ain't you?..   Why don't you ask again and again till you get an answer?

[johnnatebret]

You are shy, ain't you?..   Why don't you ask again and again till you get an answer?

 I like to think there is good in everyone, but yes I am very shy. You have no idea how hard this is for me to do!

[BillyB]

I spent a week in Ukraine in March and went on several dates with her.

You need to provide more detail otherwise we are going to assume the worst since you're holding back information.


My assumption on what you're saying is you had a few dates with the lady through an agency. You did not see her everyday. You didn't meet her friends and family. You are asking for our help to advance into a relationship with this lady since you're unsure with where it's going. There's a saying around here "If a RW is into you, you'll know it." As of now, after many months communication and a visit, you don't know her feelings and the odds are against you that this is going to go somewhere. If you' have a hard time telling us about all the wonderful things about your lady, our advice is going to be "Look for somebody else."

[pokerintherear]

There is not a problem unless you allow your mind start creating problems. Let things run the course without manipulating the outcome.

People are different. Some people don't use Skype or have Facebook pages. I find Skype to be extremely awkward with language differences. I don't have social pages. Continue to write about you daily life in e-mail with decent translation without paying. Every other day or 3rd day would be fine. At least until you have plans for another visit.

Eventually people show you who they are. Be patient. Allow the correspondence to grow. If she has a big interest you will know.

Hopefully you have other woman to write too while this is playing out.

[Ooooops]

I like to think there is good in everyone, but yes I am very shy. You have no idea how hard this is for me to do!

So if you see something in a store with price tag of $1, but at cashier tells you that you gotta pay $100 for it, you'd be too shy to ask why more then once? 

[johnnatebret]

So if you see something in a store with price tag of $1, but at cashier tells you that you gotta pay $100 for it, you'd be too shy to ask why more then once? 

 sometimes, it depends on my mood

[Ooooops]

sometimes, it depends on my mood

 


Ok, so back to the question - what kind of help are you looking for?   

[johnnatebret]

You need to provide more detail otherwise we are going to assume the worst since you're holding back information.


My assumption on what you're saying is you had a few dates with the lady through an agency. You did not see her everyday. You didn't meet her friends and family. You are asking for our help to advance into a relationship with this lady since you're unsure with where it's going. There's a saying around here "If a RW is into you, you'll know it." As of now, after many months communication and a visit, you don't know her feelings and the odds are against you that this is going to go somewhere. If you' have a hard time telling us about all the wonderful things about your lady, our advice is going to be "Look for somebody else."

  I met her through charming date, then cotinued my communication through a different agency because it was cheaper.
 I went on three dates with her, with a translator. I met her alone once when I was out walking and saw her. That was difficult because I knew very little Russian at the time and she couldn't speak English. I pay monthly to have my emails translated, but I don't know if she is the one replying to all of them. I can tell the ones she is replying to because the grammar isn't perfect, as I would expect. When I met her on the street alone she seemed genuinely happy to see me and not scared or upset that I was there. I am not discounting the fact that I may be being scammed, nor am I giving up on this being real. I realize our cultures are different and I might be reading too much into things and not enough into others. I do definitely think her agency is taking advantage of me, though.

[johnnatebret]

 


Ok, so back to the question - what kind of help are you looking for?   

  Probably more from a woman than a man. Men tend  to be cynical and cold about this( sorry if I offended anyone, all help is good). I guess I would need help understanding cultural differences and ways to be understood as sincere and honest. If she is not scamming me I am sure she has the same concerns that I do.

[Ade]

  Probably more from a woman than a man. Men tend  to be cynical and cold about this( sorry if I offended anyone, all help is good). I guess I would need help understanding cultural differences and ways to be understood as sincere and honest. If she is not scamming me I am sure she has the same concerns that I do.

There's a good chance this is a scam or, at the very least, a woman not that interested in you and taking advantage of your infatuation. Not someone you should be interested in.

Have you considered spending that monthly translators fee on some therapy for that extreme shyness? Also, if 100 bucks a month is all you can afford to speak to a love interest, is international dating, a well known long term money pit, for you to begin with?