Would you consider it sad trying to date a women who speaks no English?

[chip]

In the event you missed it, die-cast is a RW. I doubt very much that she's bearing an alarming, ego-centric attitude by extending an advice to you. She's speaking from her own personal experience and was simply expressing things to you from a woman's point of view.

I said it was an example of an alarming attitude. I didn't call her egocentric.

She is echoing a very common egocentric attitude. It's the attitude I am alarmed about, not her opinion. A RW should definitely be listened to intently, but the argument is not over when she speaks. :)

[GQBlues]

Well then here's the continuance of the 'argument'.

It isn't egocentric, much less alarming, for a man/woman to learn the language in a country she plans to live in. In the MOB, when a woman listed herself to an agency with the sole intention of immigrating to a foreign country,  it only makes logical sense to study and learn the language spoken there, which as we are discussing, happens to be English. What die-cast told you, even if the gal wishes ONLY to immigrate to Europe (sans the UK, where English is spoken nationally), it behooves her to learn English in addition to learning that particular country's native tongue - so in closing it is incumbent upon the gal to gain knowledge of the language/s wherever she may ultimately arrive.

There is nothing whatsoever resembling an alarming attitude with that reality and perspective.

If you however wanted to pursue someone who doesn't speak English or any other language simple because 'She's cute', then more power to you. Hit the agencies and hire a slew of interpreters and translators. This site will gladly even give you tips on which electronic translator is best. If you like them, then you can also buy one for each member of your family so they can also 'communicate' with your 'cute' inamorata during your wedding.

AFIAK, if nothing else, based solely on the meaning of the word - YOU are the one who is being egocentric.

[Faux Pas]

Here are three cents from a newbie here, but not a newbie in this area. I have interacted with many cultures and languages in my travels. I have had 3 long distance LTRs with ESL girls. (Czech, Turkish, Swedish). I married the Swede. All three spoke English very well. Language IS very important. However, there is a case to be made for giving it a shot with a girl who speaks little English. If you make a connection using email and a translator, you can really get to know each other well. But you will need to get way past the niceties and really dig deep. A few months of this and you will both know if there is a great chance for it working in real life. When you meet, there will be problems and awkwardness but if the foundation is there, you will overcome those.

Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic, but there might be a soul mate out there who doesn't speak English. I would certainy prefer fluent English, but I would also prefer light blue eyes. For me, language is not a deal-breaker. But this approach will not work well unless you are going through an agency and/or using a translator. And I know there are huge biases here against that approach. And feel free to discount my opinion since I have not actually seen it through to a meeting yet.

Okay, well you've got all this personal experience and your gut is advising you to go against the grain of the very sage advice laid out in these pages, go for it. You'll do what you want to do anyway.

That's 3 failed relationships with women by your own admission, you had no problem communicating with because they had excellent English skills. Do you really believe you can have a successful relationship with a woman with whom you have no common language? Is that really logical in your mind?

[cc3]

Here are three cents from a newbie here, but not a newbie in this area. I have interacted with many cultures and languages in my travels. I have had 3 long distance LTRs with ESL girls. (Czech, Turkish, Swedish). I married the Swede. All three spoke English very well. Language IS very important. However, there is a case to be made for giving it a shot with a girl who speaks little English. If you make a connection using email and a translator, you can really get to know each other well. But you will need to get way past the niceties and really dig deep. A few months of this and you will both know if there is a great chance for it working in real life. When you meet, there will be problems and awkwardness but if the foundation is there, you will overcome those.

Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic, but there might be a soul mate out there who doesn't speak English. I would certainy prefer fluent English, but I would also prefer light blue eyes. For me, language is not a deal-breaker. But this approach will not work well unless you are going through an agency and/or using a translator. And I know there are huge biases here against that approach. And feel free to discount my opinion since I have not actually seen it through to a meeting yet.

My fiancee has the fluent English and the beautiful, slightly orientally slanted (very Slavic), blue eyes...and...she is my ultimate soul mate.

[die_cast]

I said it was an example of an alarming attitude. I didn't call her egocentric.

She is echoing a very common egocentric attitude.

Actually that girl who told you that she is not going to make any efforts before someone come and win her, is a great example of alarming and egocentric attitude, I'd call it "Princess's attitude". 

[chip]

Well then here's the continuance of the 'argument'.

It isn't egocentric, much less alarming, for a man/woman to learn the language in a country she plans to live in. In the MOB, when a woman listed herself to an agency with the sole intention of immigrating to a foreign country,  it only makes logical sense to study and learn the language spoken there, which as we are discussing, happens to be English. What die-cast told you, even if the gal wishes ONLY to immigrate to Europe (sans the UK, where English is spoken nationally), it behooves her to learn English in addition to learning that particular country's native tongue - so in closing it is incumbent upon the gal to gain knowledge of the language/s wherever she may ultimately arrive.

There is nothing whatsoever resembling an alarming attitude with that reality and perspective.

If you however wanted to pursue someone who doesn't speak English or any other language simple because 'She's cute', then more power to you. Hit the agencies and hire a slew of interpreters and translators. This site will gladly even give you tips on which electronic translator is best. If you like them, then you can also buy one for each member of your family so they can also 'communicate' with your 'cute' inamorata during your wedding.

AFIAK, if nothing else, based solely on the meaning of the word - YOU are the one who is being egocentric.

OK, great job painting me as a stupid Newbie who can't possibly understand the nuances and the wealth of facts and experience in this forum. It's so "hero", and everybody nods and snickers at me...

Instead of just relying on really easy-to-arrive-at conclusions that are easier to arrive at when you believe all the girls are desperately trying to move to the US, I have stepped back. Like you, I couldn't figure out why all these girls weren't learning English! Do the math! Then I started talking to them and found out. Most do not "plan" to move to the US or UK. It's up in the air. They are actually looking for a MAN first, not a country (a good thing). We can come up with theories that make it look like they aren't serious... My favorite so far is that they should learn English so they can chat with other ESL men in non-English-speaking countries, then learn his language later. Really?

Then you have to realize that a lot of them don't really have an agenda. They put their profiles up with little expectations. If some great guy falls in their lap, they will scramble to find a tutor or a class. Otherwise (they are thinking), why go to all that trouble when they fully expect nothing to come of it. And here's a news flash. The "math" actually works better for that reasoning since the vast majority of them are not going to find a husband using this process.

I am talking to a girl right now where this is exactly her reasoning. If we end up together it will be kismet, not the result of her figuring out the best process for living in the US. Maybe you think she's stupid.

Just because you can come up with good reasons why you think the girls should be acting a certain way, it's still just your opinion and it's really easy to poke holes in it. I think it's best to keep an open mind, be cautious and not be judgmental.

[chip]

Okay, well you've got all this personal experience and your gut is advising you to go against the grain of the very sage advice laid out in these pages, go for it. You'll do what you want to do anyway.

That's 3 failed relationships with women by your own admission, you had no problem communicating with because they had excellent English skills. Do you really believe you can have a successful relationship with a woman with whom you have no common language? Is that really logical in your mind?

OK, really? I can't even count how many logical fallacies that statement includes. Maybe my "failed relationships" hinged on their height... If we are going to control for all possible variables, it could be a really long list.


 

[chip]

OK, really? I can't even count how many logical fallacies that statement includes. Maybe my "failed relationships" hinged on their height... If we are going to control for all possible variables, it could be a really long list.


 

Actually that girl who told you that she is not going to make any efforts before someone come and win her, is a great example of alarming and egocentric attitude, I'd call it "Princess's attitude".  ;D

There is definitely a case to be made that this is lazy. But as I've said, you can easily come up with a scenario in which it makes perfect sense. And who are we to judge?

My point all along is that this opinion, while making sense, is not sufficient for me to rule this entire population of girls out. But I have learned my lessons from my past failed relationships and I will rule out girls who are below 5-4 and above 5-10. Oh, and maybe any girl who doesn't have a dry sense of humor. ;)

[I/O]

One owner and several employees were of the opinion that once you made a connection....with some degree of commitment with an RW
.....it would be more beneficial to spend time "alone"....struggling with communication "without" your interpreter. Yes.....most of the couples still met with there interpreter....once or twice a day. But the struggle (communicating) seemed to bring the couples who were dedicated....closer.

Makes sense.

[Faux Pas]

OK, really? I can't even count how many logical fallacies that statement includes. Maybe my "failed relationships" hinged on their height... If we are going to control for all possible variables, it could be a really long list.

That's because you want it to be fallacy. It's all part of the fantasy. I have a hard time believing you are opening these threads and asking these questions because you wish to draw from experience. No, I'm pretty doggone sure you just want to validate your fantasy. Picking out a wife from a pretty picture with your penis. Nobody responding on these boards have any skin in your game. We have nothing to lose/gain. Few here will give you that validation. Not because we've stereotyped your agency women. It's because these questions of yours have been asked before ad nausea. Many guys/gals on this forum have lived it.

That isn't to say you won't be successful in your quest. You might very well succeed and I for one and everyone here hopes that you do. That is actually why we are here (most of us). We'll watch with interest and help you where we can but, it's more difficult to offer any advice to someone who is convinced they already know everything.

[I/O]

No, he would not. Let's face it - learning Russian is a pain in the ass.

Agreed.

[I/O]

In answer to the original question.........

Would you consider it sad trying to date a women who speaks no English?

.......no, in fact it can be a quite a hoot.

[GQBlues]

...
OK, great job painting me as a stupid Newbie who can't possibly understand the nuances and the wealth of facts and experience in this forum. It's so "hero", and everybody nods and snickers at me...

No, no, no dude. You got it all wrong. I want so badly for you to be right! Heck, I sincerely hope you can plan a trip ASAP, file a K-1 ASAP and bring your 'so cute' lovely inamorata home and ride in the sunset. That would be so romantic...

...Instead of just relying on really easy-to-arrive-at conclusions that are easier to arrive at when you believe all the girls are desperately trying to move to the US, I have stepped back. Like you, I couldn't figure out why all these girls weren't learning English! Do the math! Then I started talking to them and found out....

You did?!? Imagine that! The agency They told you this in English, or do you actually speak Russian?!? How'd you do that exactly?
 

...Most do not "plan" to move to the US or UK. It's up in the air. They are actually looking for a MAN first, not a country (a good thing). We can come up with theories that make it look like they aren't serious... My favorite so far is that they should learn English so they can chat with other ESL men in non-English-speaking countries, then learn his language later. Really?...

Yeah. That would be my favorite, too. Crazy, isn't it? Who needs English? Can you imgaine what if they started to learn to speak German, and our President might ask, "What if they met an Austrian?" It'll be one of those 'A-hah!' moments, you know.

...Then you have to realize that a lot of them don't really have an agenda. They put their profiles up with little expectations. If some great guy falls in their lap, they will scramble to find a tutor or a class....

Of course, I understand now.
 

...Otherwise (they are thinking), why go to all that trouble when they fully expect nothing to come of it. And here's a news flash. The "math" actually works better for that reasoning since the vast majority of them are not going to find a husband using this process....

Damn! I never thought of that. You're right!

...I am talking to a girl right now where this is exactly her reasoning. If we end up together it will be kismet, not the result of her figuring out the best process for living in the US. Maybe you think she's stupid. ...

Oh no! Of course not. She's as sincere as they come, I'm sure. After all, she's so cute, right?

..Just because you can come up with good reasons why you think the girls should be acting a certain way, it's still just your opinion and it's really easy to poke holes in it. I think it's best to keep an open mind, be cautious and not be judgmental....

Correct. As a show of sincerity, I'll lay out this link that may prove useful to you in the interim. And her, of course...I think most of these companies have a 'Family-Plan' discount special. One for each member of your family.
 
Most of them have a voice recognition and can audibly do that translation for you. You do have to keep in mind that for the most part, it'll have some difficulties when you get too deep, so just rely on it for basic communication. After all anything deeper than a few terms of endearments is not necessary.
 
You are beautiful, It is great meeting you, I really like you, I miss you, You are the greatest, etc...
 
For the more intimate translation, during those steamy intimate moments...it's capable of translating things like....oh that's good! ...and my #1 favorite: 'Look at me!"...
 
You say it in English, the machine says it in Russian. You'll be glad you did.
 
Then of course, you can also use sign languages.    But that's for later. It'll be input overload, I'm sure.

[jone]

Okay, now that we have GQ's tongue in cheek response.  And FP considers your attempt at humor to be, in reality, your serious truth,  I read again your posts and it really appears you have a brain upstairs and deserve the credit of our attention and response.

I have met with women who only speak Russian.  It is really somewhat of a fun experience.  We both bring along a device that allows for translation if we need it.  I do speak a little Russian and typically, even the women who don't speak English know more English than they say they do.  A typical date with a non-English speaking lady will involve doing some activity - like going to the waterfront.  But it almost always winds up at a restaurant with WIFI service so we can give detailed accounts of our thoughts and experiences.

There are men on this board who will say that you will never get the nuances of a lady's personality by having a language barrier.  They may be right.  But when it comes right down to it, every relationship you enter into is a crap shoot at the onset.  Your true understanding of your future spouse will not be complete until you have free language exchange.  And there are also the social mores and customs that you will need to understand, aside from language.

Marrying a woman from an FSU country can be extremely rewarding.  But anyone on this board with an ounce of intelligence will also tell you that it is extremely challenging as well.

[Ranetka]

I tend to think people who actually need communicating are the minority.
I once classified (I am an Accountant after all) men's messages on pof and found out
17 out of 21 said "Hi" or "Hello" (nothing else)
11 second messages out of these 17 were "You look sexy".
So if a girl can understand "Hi" and "You look sexy" that means she can speak a little English, right?
 
 

[neo]

i have dated plenty of girls who speak no english and i can honestly say its never been a problem especially in bed.


Its a challenge but if you both good communicators you can learn her language at the same speed she learns yours, it takes effort, patience and understanding from both sides but you'd be surprised how much quicker you can learn a language under the gun.


Its not for novices, and you need to dump the translator and just have them on speed dial for emergencies, translators make couples lazy, when you are forced to communicate yourselves you put the effort in.


I can remember being taken on a date ice skating by a girl who spoke no english. We met up, went on the metro, did ice skating, had dinner, she took me home and i had to trust her completely. It was a good indication of how it feels for the woman to trust in her man in the same situation.


The question you should really ask is should a man be dating a foreign girl when he has no intention in learning her language or cant speak her language.


Translators ruin relationships, after 15 plus years experience of this the best experiences i had were without translators,

[Faux Pas]

i have dated plenty of girls who speak no english and i can honestly say its never been a problem especially in bed.

How many did you marry?

[neo]

Just the one and she was fluent within a year.


Communication issues never really caused us any serious problems. But honestly i think its unique to each couple.


I have a friend who fell in love with a deaf girll, he spent months learning sign language and they are happily married with 3 kids.


My dog can't talk in english. I still love her

[die_cast]

My dog can't talk in english.

Amazing example. 
Thank you.

[GQBlues]

i have dated plenty of girls who speak no english and i can honestly say its never been a problem especially in bed....

...My dog can't talk in english. I still love her

LOL. So there you go Chip! See what I mean? Give it another day or two you'll have an outpouring of support coming out of the woodwork that'll do the dirty deed. You just knew that's going to happen, no? LOL.


If only Ariel Castro was aware of the MOB, he won't be sitting his butt in a 8x10 jail cell for the next 1000 years, and his crib would have been clean all those years to boot. Think of the money he could've save not having to buy all those chains. He could've even retire somewhere in Florida with the money he could've saved.


Communication is unnecessary as well as apparently sex is all that matters. That's right up there in your wheelhouse. Of course you don't want to try that with your dog, but considering this is the MOB who knows. Stranger things have happened in the MOB. Open mind and all that jazz. But chances are your cute gal won't need vaccinations though methinks you better check on that just to be sure. Not sure about the chain and collar either. That'll be an individual choice, I suppose.


Matter of fact, here's a great tip for you. For practice, check out your local neighborhood deaf and mute center and ask a girl out for a date. Then make sure she brings along a sign language interpreter and pay her anywhere between 10 or 20 bucks/hr, man. Of course you likely won't need one since only one or two sign languages are all you'll ever really need to know how to do.


So cheer up, bro! The 'help' brigade is about to arrive in town.

[Faux Pas]

Just the one and she was fluent within a year.


Communication issues never really caused us any serious problems. But honestly i think its unique to each couple.


I have a friend who fell in love with a deaf girll, he spent months learning sign language and they are happily married with 3 kids.


My dog can't talk in english. I still love her

Congratulations but, a wife isn't a puppy and you don't necessarily need to set up house with the associated emotional and physical issue with your mutt 

Keeping on topic, Chipper there seems to think myself and other are insisting he look for English speakers. Not true, at least from me. That is the path I eventually took and I still believe to this day, for all the right reasons.

Marriage and the changes associated with it especially, in East/West relationships are difficult enough, IMHO, very low percentage. I would only guess that a couple that couldn't clearly communicate with each other would compound those odds. It's hard enough for man and woman speaking the same language to communicate. Life together involves more than what happens between the sheets. At some point, pointing at the crotch with a twinkle in the eye isn't enough 

[GQBlues]

...Life together involves more than what happens between the sheets. At some point, pointing at the crotch with a twinkle in the eye isn't enough 

No, of course not. I imagine there will be times he'll just want option 'B'. So rubbing his tongue hard inside of his cheeks, and bob his head up and down I imagine ought to be a good one....

[neo]

Thats what i love about forums, everything you write will always be taken our of context,


My comparison with my dog was that we manage to feel affection for our pets even though they dont speak our language, and so its possible to feel affection for someone if you don't understand them


Also the usual blinkered view that everything relates to MOB.


I dated a girl at university whowas french and spoke no english, and an italian girl in my own country, we didnt have an agency or translator and got by just fine,


tbh the mob scene  is a funny old world full of its own strange conventions that people think are sacrosanct that have no real bearing on conventional dating.


If you turn up in italy or spain do you go hunting for the nearest marriage agency then sit with a translator or o you hit on girls in bars?


Also why is this question only ever addressed at women? The woman should speak english. Surely the woman shouldnt consider any man who doesnt speak russian. After all if you go to her country and can't even order a hamburger without a translator what are you doing there.


The point i was making was lack of english isnt a barrier to a future relationshipif both parties are prepared to put the extra effort in to learn each others language. It will be a slower relationship and take more work but if you have a strong attraction to each other why should you dismiss the chance for the want of a 6 month intensive language course?

[ML]

My dog can't talk in english. I still love her

No, but she can listen and understand in English.

The really amazing dogs can understand in Italian, German, French, or Russian, etc.

[Chicagoguy]

My wife of 4 years spoke no English and I spoke no Russian. Learning language is difficult as you get older and I never managed Russian. My wife has learned English to an OK level now and we always found some way to communicate. But I must add it has not been easy. It takes time and patience. Especially for her. Still, we are both very happy.
IF I were to start again I would probably seek out an English speaking person. We might be an exception.