Elena's models-I'm new at this

[santo]

Hey guys jus wanted to say hi and introduce myself.  Im 39 years old. I saw all the great discussions on here which led me to sign up at Elena's and start talking to the ladies.   It has been a great experience so far, I am already on Skype with a few of them. I can't believe how much faster and better things move compared to western dating sites. I am still not sure how all this works, so I just wanted to get some guidance.  I plan to start chatting with them then go visit my favs in a few months. Any advice would be appreciated.

[Patagonie]

I would advice you to target one major city : except Moscow, St Pete, Kiev and Odessa.
And talk to only girls of this city.
You would avoid  many headaches later.

Choice one city with nice connecting flight.

And start to schedule right now when you will come, WITHOUT saying the exact dates to women.

[Turboguy]

Welcome to the forum.   I think you are better off than many who begin this process by seeing ads for some of the pay per letter sites.  Elena's is a good choice.  Don't be fooled into thinking this is a fast process.  In some ways it is and in others it isn't but there are many of us who think however long it took, that it was one of the best decisions of our life.   I wish you good luck in your search.

[Faux Pas]

I would advice you to target one major city : except Moscow, St Pete, Kiev and Odessa.
And talk to only girls of this city.
You would avoid  many headaches later.

Choice one city with nice connecting flight.

And start to schedule right now when you will come, WITHOUT saying the exact dates to women.

One man's headache may be another man's orgasm.

Santo, you've got to figure out what your most comfortable with. Visiting many women, a few women or just one woman. If you plan to visit many then, Patie's advice is sage. The headaches it can save you are more of a logistical nature concentrating on one city. It also limits you early in your search. There is likely many more terrific women available and not in the city you chose.

My advice aside from that would be to find the ladies on EM that interests you. No matter where they are. Write to them, skype and when you narrow it down to a few ladies or a one single one make some plans and get your carcass over there. Keep in mind, a Russian visa is only a formality (with a cost) and Ukraine does not require a visa for U.S. peeps. Most of the FSU countries require a visa for Americans

[santo]

So why avoid cites like Kiev and Moscow? I am already talking to one girl from each of those cities and they seem genuine.  Also,  how does it work for the girls on the site? Do they just talk to lots of men and most of those men never come visit? That's what it seems like.  The girls seem like they are genuinely interested in marriage but can't find anyone, foreign or fsu that will give them a decent relationship.

And if I am chatting on Skype with a girl and she seems genuinely interested can I assume she really is, or are there things to watch out for?  I generally cancel communication with a girl if she doesn't Skype.

I am actually picky with the type of girl I want as I plan to just stay with her for a long time. For that reason I'm going with faux pas advice on just searching for the girls that interest me no matter where they live.  I plan to filter them out over many months then just see the few that interest me.

[Faux Pas]

So why avoid cites like Kiev and Moscow? I am already talking to one girl from each of those cities and they seem genuine.

Likely they are genuine. Several will advise to avoid these cities. I say don't pursue the city, pursue the woman, pursue the relationship. Maybe she can, maybe she can't help the place she lives. Some believe a big city lady might not be so prone to live in Roosterpoot, USA and if she acts like she does, she must be a scammer. Not true. Some believe because she is a big city lady she must have higher expectations/aspirations. If she is genuine, she too is seeking the relationship, seeking the man. Always be honest, forthright and truthful about yourself and your expectations. Don't project to be someone you are not.

Also,  how does it work for the girls on the site? Do they just talk to lots of men and most of those men never come visit? That's what it seems like.  The girls seem like they are genuinely interested in marriage but can't find anyone, foreign or fsu that will give them a decent relationship.

Some have a lot of men from which to choose, some do not. Just because they are on Skype with you doesn't mean either. They are looking at you, checking you out. The fact that you skype a second or third time means they like you enough to find out more and it pretty much doesn't mean anything more than that

And if I am chatting on Skype with a girl and she seems genuinely interested can I assume she really is, or are there things to watch out for?  I generally cancel communication with a girl if she doesn't Skype.
 I am actually picky with the type of girl I want as I plan to just stay with her for a long time. For that reason I'm going with faux pas advice on just searching for the girls that interest me no matter where they live.  I plan to filter them out over many months then just see the few that interest me.

Yes, up until she doesn't want to skype or communicate she is generally interested. The same works for most women the world over as well. It is still up to you to keep her interested, awed and entertained. There are no short cuts here Santo. You need to find the lady(s) that interests you (as much as you can given the circumstances). Then travel to meet them. Only then can a real relationship begin. It is tempting to think you are shopping for a beautiful sexy woman from across the sea. You are not. They will be picking you much in the same way you do them. Keep in mind, your dating and relationship rules you live with at home, still apply abroad with some different nuances to your favor.

There's lots of advice and info here. Don't hesitate to ask questions if you've got'em. You haven't suddenly became richer or better looking. You've only expanded your dating pool. Good Luck!

[ML]

I plan to filter them out over many months then just see the few that interest me.

Nope, you can't do that.

[santo]

ML can you expand a little?  I plan to visit in march maybe sooner till then I plan on talking to them.

And Faux, thx for the advice.  I live in LA and its a big city like Moscow or Kiev so maybe girls from that city would be more likely to relocate w me. 

You are right about expanding the dating pool. And it's nice to go swimming in the bigger pool

What are some other good resources I should check out?

[LAman]

ML can you expand a little?  I plan to visit in march maybe sooner till then I plan on talking to them.

And Faux, thx for the advice. I live in LA and its a big city like Moscow or Kiev so maybe girls from that city would be more likely to relocate w me. 

You are right about expanding the dating pool. And it's nice to go swimming in the bigger pool

What are some other good resources I should check out?

Well, at least you got something going for you!!!
Why March? It is rather cold for a first time visit, unless you are just getting your feet wet( or frozen).
I kinda didn't really focus on one area, let the girl/s work that one out and I agree choose one/s that 'sticks in your mind'.
 For me, I found an area I like in Odessa where I feel comfortable and have several other cities I could visit easily in this area. Always take what one says in this forum with a grain of salt, I disagree with what many say...... but that's just me, you do what you feel is best for yourself!!

[Faux Pas]

Santo, ML can certainly speak for himself but, what he is likely eluding to is, most sincere women are not interested in a long term email/skype pal. Six months is a long time to attempt to keep interest, both yours but more specifically hers. Keep in mind, there are many more men that just play fantasy romeo promising to go but never do. Many believe (around RWD anyway) that 3-4 months might be the maximum recommended time between meeting online and meeting in person

[BillyB]

I generally cancel communication with a girl if she doesn't Skype.

Why not ask for a girl's phone number and spend a few bucks to call her? IMO the problem with Skype is that you usually have to schedule a time with a lady to speak with her. If a woman is really interested in you and likes to hear your voice, she'd give you her phone number, so you could call anytime.

[santo]

Ok so what you guys are saying is start meeting them now then plan to visit in a few months.  I can do that.  It must be damn cold out there in nov/dec :0

[2tallbill]

Ok so what you guys are saying is start meeting them now then plan to visit in a few months.  I can do that.  It must be damn cold out there in nov/dec :0

Fortune favors the bold. Do you ski? you can find everything for cold weather
in a ski shop.


Go to craigslist and ebay and buy a Pimsleur Russian language program for your
car and Rosetta Stone for your computer. Learn a little Russian language will help
a lot.


Udachi!


Bill

[Faux Pas]

Ok so what you guys are saying is start meeting them now then plan to visit in a few months.  I can do that.  It must be damn cold out there in nov/dec :0

In a word, yes. Look at the bright side, not as cold as it is in Jan/Feb  Of course it all depends on where you go. A SoCal boy will freeze his nads but, it's doable. Actually, New Year's is a wonderful time to be there but, with stipulations.

Santo, the more you look, the more women you will find. Trust me when I say this, if you seek perfection you won't find her anywhere. At some point stop looking and focus on communication. Contact and communicate with some ladies that appeal to you. Keep the number manageable as even a manageable number is time consuming. Some of these women will stand out to you more than others. Do your due diligence, keep your mind open and trust your gut. Leave nothing or discount nothing as a "cultural difference". These are women just like all the other women you've known except perhaps more beautiful and with a sexy accent. If you don't particularly make a connection on skype chances are, it'll be even less in person. Everything is magnified. Keep your head about you and think with the big one, not the little one.

[2tallbill]

In a word, yes. Look at the bright side, not as cold as it is in Jan/Feb  Of course it all depends on where you go. A SoCal boy will freeze his nads but, it's doable. Actually, New Year's is a wonderful time to be there but, with stipulations.

Santo, the more you look, the more women you will find. Trust me when I say this, if you seek perfection you won't find her anywhere. At some point stop looking and focus on communication. Contact and communicate with some ladies that appeal to you. Keep the number manageable as even a manageable number is time consuming. Some of these women will stand out to you more than others. Do your due diligence, keep your mind open and trust your gut. Leave nothing or discount nothing as a "cultural difference". These are women just like all the other women you've known except perhaps more beautiful and with a sexy accent. If you don't particularly make a connection on skype chances are, it'll be even less in person. Everything is magnified. Keep your head about you and think with the big one, not the little one.

+1
excellent post

[santo]

So I had dinner with a longtime friend of mine.  He's Russian and lived there for about 30 years, he's  been in the states for 15.  I was excited to tell him about my new contacts in his country and this is what he said:

None of that is real.  Those girls will tell you anything they can to get your passport then leave you once they get it.  If you go to Russia, after you take them to your house, a Russian guy in a black leather jacket will come knocking on the door to demand money for the prostitute you just slept with. Girls all same, find one here with job.  He also said " don't go to Russia, only factories and churches, you like churches?"

Now I take what he says with a grain of salt because he is from old soviet times and has never gone back since he left.  But he himself is married to a Russian girl that looks like one from EM. In any case he kinda got my hopes down. 

It seems from your posts that there are many success stories.  But how often have you seen the other side of it like he says?

[Ade]

So I had dinner with a longtime friend of mine.  He's Russian and lived there for about 30 years, he's  been in the states for 15.  I was excited to tell him about my new contacts in his country and this is what he said:

None of that is real.  Those girls will tell you anything they can to get your passport then leave you once they get it.  If you go to Russia, after you take them to your house, a Russian guy in a black leather jacket will come knocking on the door to demand money for the prostitute you just slept with. Girls all same, find one here with job.  He also said " don't go to Russia, only factories and churches, you like churches?"

Now I take what he says with a grain of salt because he is from old soviet times and has never gone back since he left.  But he himself is married to a Russian girl that looks like one from EM. In any case he kinda got my hopes down. 

It seems from your posts that there are many success stories.  But how often have you seen the other side of it like he says?

LOL


Well, train wrecks do happen for various reasons including because the guy goes and marries a green card girl. I've never heard of, or seen for that matter, the guy in the black leather jacket though.    Mostly, these marriages happen way too fast for the couple to know each other well enough although that isn't always the case.

Do your due diligence, build a proper relationship with a woman before you marry her and be honest with yourself and you will be fine (probably, but nothing in this life is 100% certain). Being blinded by what you want to see is probably the most common mistake.

Faux Pas hits the nail on the head in his posts in this thread. And yes, as soon as you've talked to someone that rings your bell in ways you can't be without go visit as soon as you can - even in winter.

[Faux Pas]

So I had dinner with a longtime friend of mine.  He's Russian and lived there for about 30 years, he's  been in the states for 15.  I was excited to tell him about my new contacts in his country and this is what he said:

None of that is real.  Those girls will tell you anything they can to get your passport then leave you once they get it.  If you go to Russia, after you take them to your house, a Russian guy in a black leather jacket will come knocking on the door to demand money for the prostitute you just slept with. Girls all same, find one here with job.  He also said " don't go to Russia, only factories and churches, you like churches?"

Now I take what he says with a grain of salt because he is from old soviet times and has never gone back since he left.  But he himself is married to a Russian girl that looks like one from EM. In any case he kinda got my hopes down. 

It seems from your posts that there are many success stories.  But how often have you seen the other side of it like he says?

Yeah that is pretty funny. I'm pretty sure he believes it too. Santo, you need to look through the archives and old trip report threads. There is plenty of interesting reading. Much of it is old and perhaps outdated but, it can help you envision and formulate the realities. There is likely instances described by your Russian friend along with hundreds of others and all true.

You are getting some good, truthful information here. Yes there are many success stories. Many of those were achieved by many different methods and even then, they have a lot of similarities. There are many more trainwrecks and those also have many similarities. Don't be led by your penis. It's track record is what's gotten you here, yes?

The women are real. Many are sincere in looking for a lifetime partner and willing to leave everything they've ever known to find him. There are no short cuts in the relationship building and aspects of this endeavor and it is not for the faint of heart. If anything, it requires much more patience and understanding than you have likely ever given a local lady.

First you have to find a woman worthy of investing your time, your heart and then you build and nuture the relationship to see if it is or can be worthy of love. You don't do this alone, she does as well. No different in that regard than you have done in the past with local women. But, it is much more of a challenge to do it separated by an ocean periodic visits and long nights on Skype. It takes one with a big set of cojones. Make sure you are up for it. There are quite a few even right on this forum that have been at it for years only to be met with multiple failures of the end goal.

[sanaqueen]

nice shearing

[Jskibo]

My first trip was to Kiev and Crimea area in mid January.  It wasn't too bad outside, plus all the more reason to stay in and keep warm

Second trip was to SpB in July.  Certainly warmer and a nice view of skirts on Nevsky Prospect all day, but really hard to sleep with 2-3 hours of darkness each night.

Go for the woman, not the climate (unless you plan on moving there, then maybe a good idea to check out your new home )

[santo]

So a few days now talking on Skype to these women.  I am learning a lot about how all this works, their expectations, and their frustrations.  It seems like I got a good batch of sincere women that are really looking to get a husband from another country and get out of dodge.  The problem is that it's an extremely big commitment to make with someone you barely know.  I think that's why a lot of guys can't commit to these girls.  It's understandable.

I am being completely honest with them about my intentions and expectations and it has been met with mixed results.  One, the hottest one of course, is completely jaded and doesn't believe a word I say.  I do think that she is genuinely interested but has been mistreated by dudes on the site and now has trust issues.  The other two are just down to earth nice girls that wana be saved.  Of course, I like the hot one better.

[Daveman]

...The problem is that it's an extremely big commitment to make with someone you barely know.  I think that's why a lot of guys can't commit to these girls.  It's understandable.

It doesn't have to be.  My suggestion, to males or females in this, is to avoid anyone who is in a rush.  It takes time to build a relationship upon a solid foundation, and more time to grow into something of substance.  And even more time to progress into the big commitment.


Most will not make it that far.

I am being completely honest with them about my intentions and expectations and it has been met with mixed results.  One, the hottest one of course, is completely jaded and doesn't believe a word I say.  I do think that she is genuinely interested but has been mistreated by dudes on the site and now has trust issues.  The other two are just down to earth nice girls that wana be saved.  Of course, I like the hot one better.

Do you like the hot one better because she's hot? Or because she creates the larger challenge?

Stick with the more down to earth ones - with the most positive attitudes and best senses of humor.  Hotness sans those becomes butt rippin' fugly in a hurry.  Women who want to be saved didn't make my list either.

[Patagonie]

So a few days now talking on Skype to these women.  I am learning a lot about how all this works, their expectations, and their frustrations.  It seems like I got a good batch of sincere women that are really looking to get a husband from another country and get out of dodge.  The problem is that it's an extremely big commitment to make with someone you barely know.  I think that's why a lot of guys can't commit to these girls.  It's understandable.

I am being completely honest with them about my intentions and expectations and it has been met with mixed results.  One, the hottest one of course, is completely jaded and doesn't believe a word I say.  I do think that she is genuinely interested but has been mistreated by dudes on the site and now has trust issues.  The other two are just down to earth nice girls that wana be saved.  Of course, I like the hot one better.

And the hottest one will feel more mistreated when you will visit an other one and ditch her.
Or the earth nice girls, months after months of guys like you, who write to many girls in many cities, will be the same like the hotter one.
Do you understand how the WMVO is disappointing for women ?

[Shadow]

So a few days now talking on Skype to these women.  I am learning a lot about how all this works, their expectations, and their frustrations.  It seems like I got a good batch of sincere women that are really looking to get a husband from another country and get out of dodge.  The problem is that it's an extremely big commitment to make with someone you barely know.  I think that's why a lot of guys can't commit to these girls.  It's understandable.

I am being completely honest with them about my intentions and expectations and it has been met with mixed results.  One, the hottest one of course, is completely jaded and doesn't believe a word I say.  I do think that she is genuinely interested but has been mistreated by dudes on the site and now has trust issues.  The other two are just down to earth nice girls that wana be saved.  Of course, I like the hot one better.

If you are talking to women who want to get out of dodge, it is time for you to do so. Women who want to be saved just see you as a first step. It will depend on you and how long you can cater their needs if they will upgrade further.
The key is to find a woman that does want to find a husband, but has no need of being saved in any way.

[die_cast]

And the hottest one will feel more mistreated when you will visit an other one and ditch her.
Or the earth nice girls, months after months of guys like you, who write to many girls in many cities, will be the same like the hotter one.
Do you understand how the WMVO is disappointing for women ?

Pat, how many men are thinking about women's feelings while they enjoy "swimming in the bigger pool"?