K-1 Konfusion!

[Shadow]

Some men complain about why family law is so messed up in America.  This is why

Well actually I see they kind of fit together. She has a history of men who abandon their family and he has a history of moving on. Match made in heaven.

[jmana]

LOL. See what I mean now, Shadow? 

Let's see....11 (son's age) - 6 (divorce point) - 1.5 (cooling off period) - 2 (wacky relationship #1) - .5 (wacky relationship #2) - 2 (wackiest relationship #3) - 1 (skyping cheap RW #2) = 0 (present time).

The math checks. So the kid was growing up *alone* while his Dad was sorting out himself having relationships with *crazy, cheap* women. Yup, the kid's definitely thinking it's about time for his Dad to continue the cheap saga by now.

Welcome to the MOB.

I suppose you probably can't chew gum and walk at the same time either    Seriously, you say just because I was in relationships with more than one woman my kid was "growing up alone"?  That's just offensive. 

[jmana]

Well actually I see they kind of fit together. She has a history of men who abandon their family and he has a history of moving on. Match made in heaven.

Oh yes, it's a history for sure.  Not sure how one guy who left her constitutes a "history", but whatever.  And I guess you've already made your mind up that my 3 failed relationships were me "moving on".  Not exactly the case.  My marriage yes, the other 2 no, they were mutual. 

[GQBlues]

I suppose you probably can't chew gum and walk at the same time either    

WOW! What a comeback! LOL. Not only walk and chew gum at the same time, but because of my uncanny ability and abundance of skill, i can even sneak a 3.5 somersault with a 1.5 twist, feet together with graceful toe extensions to boot.


How about you? can you write a coherent paragraph void of any contradicting contents?

 

...Seriously, you say just because I was in relationships with more than one woman my kid was "growing up alone"? That's just offensive....

Seriously, it was intended to be, and I'm glad to hear it arrived as packaged. 

[TomT]

About a hundred times??  You guys are really nuts.

No, most of the guys are fine; it's mostly just him.


Just like in real life, you have to get to know who is whom and take their comments for what they are worth. 

[jmana]

No, most of the guys are fine; it's mostly just him.


Just like in real life, you have to get to know who is whom and take their comments for what they are worth.

Finally, someone who has their mind intact!

[TomT]

Before you start getting your hopes up, I agree with the others who think that you and your fiancee need more time together... and I'm just making a cameo appearance.


An international relationship is a great gamble whether you spend a month or six months together. The best that you can do (and the least that you can do) is to improve the odds by making more trips.

[Daveman]

Finally, someone who has their mind intact!

*** Thinking ***

[jmana]

Before you start getting your hopes up, I agree with the others who think that you and your fiancee need more time together... and I'm just making a cameo appearance.


An international relationship is a great gamble whether you spend a month or six months together. The best that you can do (and the least that you can do) is to improve the odds by making more trips.

I don't disagree with you, the same way I don't disagree that the more money you have saved up for retirement the better.  But does that mean everyone needs a million dollars saved up in order to be happy during retirement?  Nope.  All situations are different, and people's ability to do things are different. 

[southernX]

You can't possibly be in love after only 11 days of physical contact, even if you think you are.  Further, were you truly in love, you wouldn't be posting about this being a "maybe" thing.  It would be a certainty.

So you have had three failed relationships in less than a decade.  Before embarking on yet another romantic adventure, do you not believe it would be wise to look at why your relationships failed?  You are 50% of the problem and 50% of the solution. 

On another forum, I once asked (by PM) a poster Ade aptly renamed the "serial groom" why he believed his upcoming nuptials in Ukraine would be successful.  He had five failed relationships in his past.  He explained that he knew this time would work, because he had examined why his previous relationships had all ended badly, all within a few years, BTW, he knew his new bride was different, and so was he.  Guess what?  Within a year, he was embroiled in a somewhat bitter divorce, and has now moved on to wife number 7.Now, if you were childless, I'd say hey, go for it!  But you are not.  If this relationship fails, you have exposed your child to yet another break up.  The message you are sending him is women are expendable, and relationships mean little.  You will also be on the hook for child support for this RW's child if she decides to stay in the U.S.

buckeye ??  by any chance ? lol

SX

[TomT]

All situations are different, and people's ability to do things are different.

Well, you aren't the first to get engaged after a brief encounter. Ironically, one of your critics spent even less time with his girl before becoming engaged. (He was pretty busy with benders, though.) Some couples have managed to stay married in spite of whirlwind courtships. Whether they're happy or not is another matter.


There is something else that you should consider. Even though you have satisfied the requirement to have met at least once in the two-year period preceding your petition, your package is weak because of only nine days of face-to-face time in nine months and that could be an issue at the consulate interview. I hope that you've documented a massive amount of telephone/Skype logs and included them in your petition package.

[Boethius]

Finally, someone who has their mind intact!

Well, if by the standards you have posted here I don't have my mind intact, I certainly can live with that, thank you.

Other than lordtiberious and Ade, your detractors, so to speak, here, have been married longer than the sum total of your three previous relationships.  Ade is closing in on that number.  Other than GQ, we all have children.  Mine are all older than yours, two on the cusp of adulthood, one not too far removed from your son's age.  Shadow and Ade have younger children.

Children crave stability and routine.  They also learn by example.  Think about it.

[jmana]

Well, you aren't the first to get engaged after a brief encounter. Ironically, one of your critics spent even less time with his girl before becoming engaged. (He was pretty busy with benders, though.) Some couples have managed to stay married in spite of whirlwind courtships. Whether they're happy or not is another matter.


There is something else that you should consider. Even though you have satisfied the requirement to have met at least once in the two-year period preceding your petition, your package is weak because of only nine days of face-to-face time in nine months and that could be an issue at the consulate interview. I hope that you've documented a massive amount of telephone/Skype logs and included them in your petition package.

Yeah that's going to be a little tricky.  We've both always used our phones to skype with, and one thing I didn't realize is you can't get the history from a phone to a pc, so I have no way to print out and prove that we use Skype quite a bit.  Unless they would allow her to just show them her phone at the interview? 

[southernX]

jmana

it would apear from reading your posts you havent put alot of forethought into this last endeavour , especially given you have history /experience of what is going to be required if you wish your lady allina to have a visa granted

totally agree with tom , your 9 days isnt long enough , now you advise us you possibly have minimal other communication records ??

id say you have put your lady in a precarious position , if she loves you as have posted, you are being very selfish /immature by your lack of forethought , planing ,& process  , with total disregard for her & her childs welfare and emotions , let alone your sons

what where you thinking doing each time/ week when you engaged this lady ''allina ' in communication ??over the last 11 months ?  did it not occur to you to keep records to demonstrate a serious and ongoing relationship with her ??


it gives readers the clear impression  of you not being serious about her and her child ,
i would think you will need luck to have a visa granted and even more if you continue on like this into a marriage with her

she wont take long to suss you out once living together ,
id seriously reccomend you take along hard look at how you have conducted yourself in the past and look to make improvement  where it is required ASAP

SX

[Faux Pas]

I don't disagree with you, the same way I don't disagree that the more money you have saved up for retirement the better.  But does that mean everyone needs a million dollars saved up in order to be happy during retirement?  Nope.  All situations are different, and people's ability to do things are different.

Yup, and you are special. You are lucky and will defy all odds. You can do what many others before you have tried to do and failed. Nobody here knows you or Alina and has any idea how much in love and determined you are because all of those previous relationships of yours have no bearing on this one. Have you been to Vegas lately? You should.

Your plan or lack of one has so many more opportunities to comeback, fail and bite you in the ass 100 fold over the possibilities of success. You haven't made much of an effort to increase your chances other your one trip. Based on your own history of failed relationships that should give you some pause for cause. From your words here, it doesn't.

Ignore the advice, ignore all the collective experience and defy the odds. Come back and thumb your nose at all of of it and prove them wrong. Remember, nobody here has one sliver of skin in your game. Maybe some enjoy being right but most really don't give a shit and only offer advice because you are seeking it and they have it. Listen to it, use it, toss it out as useless. The chickens will all come home to roost. When they do, you'll be on one side of this advice or the other. I won't wish you good luck because I am one of those that don't give a shit. That based on our earlier exchanges

[Shadow]

Oh yes, it's a history for sure.  Not sure how one guy who left her constitutes a "history", but whatever.  And I guess you've already made your mind up that my 3 failed relationships were me "moving on".  Not exactly the case.  My marriage yes, the other 2 no, they were mutual.

Her father also seems to enjoy being away more than being with his family. Which brings me backtothe qston about you having met him or planning to meet him.

[jmana]

Her father also seems to enjoy being away more than being with his family. Which brings me backtothe qston about you having met him or planning to meet him.

No I haven't met him, I've talked to him.  I have met her stepfather who is the one who raised her. 

[jmana]

Yup, and you are special. You are lucky and will defy all odds. You can do what many others before you have tried to do and failed. Nobody here knows you or Alina and has any idea how much in love and determined you are because all of those previous relationships of yours have no bearing on this one. Have you been to Vegas lately? You should.

Your plan or lack of one has so many more opportunities to comeback, fail and bite you in the ass 100 fold over the possibilities of success. You haven't made much of an effort to increase your chances other your one trip. Based on your own history of failed relationships that should give you some pause for cause. From your words here, it doesn't.

Ignore the advice, ignore all the collective experience and defy the odds. Come back and thumb your nose at all of of it and prove them wrong. Remember, nobody here has one sliver of skin in your game. Maybe some enjoy being right but most really don't give a shit and only offer advice because you are seeking it and they have it. Listen to it, use it, toss it out as useless. The chickens will all come home to roost. When they do, you'll be on one side of this advice or the other. I won't wish you good luck because I am one of those that don't give a shit. That based on our earlier exchanges

I've never met more negative people in my life I bet you think the world is coming to an end soon too, right?

[Faux Pas]

I've never met more negative people in my life I bet you think the world is coming to an end soon too, right?

Negative, moi? Seems I am the only one here pumping sunshine up your butt. That is what you need isn't it?   

Yup, and you are special. You are lucky and will defy all odds. You can do what many others before you have tried to do and failed. Nobody here knows you or Alina and has any idea how much in love and determined you are because all of those previous relationships of yours have no bearing on this one. Have you been to Vegas lately? You should.

[Shadow]

No I haven't met him, I've talked to him.  I have met her stepfather who is the one who raised her.

That makes it a bit more clear. With the way you supply information, no wonder it takes over a year to get to know someone.

[jmana]

That makes it a bit more clear. With the way you supply information, no wonder it takes over a year to get to know someone.

Well sorry for not giving you guys every minute detail of my life in the very first post, but if you go back to the original post you'll see I asked a specific question and you guys veered off into this attack of my intentions.

[Boethius]

It's not negativity.  It is called realism.

Nevertheless, your original query was answered by GQ.

[Shadow]

Well sorry for not giving you guys every minute detail of my life in the very first post, but if you go back to the original post you'll see I asked a specific question and you guys veered off into this attack of my intentions.

Your intentions are clear, its the realism that we question.

[TomT]

Unless they would allow her to just show them her phone at the interview?

I would be surprised if the consular officer wouldn't consider every form of evidence presented. Perhaps one of the geeks on a smart-phone forum could tell you how to print the logs. Failing in that, you might be able to hire a tech to extract them. This requires you to take action, however.


In any event, for denials that are unrelated to fraud, the consulate usually gives petitioners a chance to correct deficiencies. If you start using your computer for Skype immediately (and daily), you will have a head start. Of course, that won't address the issue of minimal face-to-face time and there is no silver bullet for that.


As for the more global issues, they aren't any of my business. 

[Wayne]

You cannot bring a cell phone or any electronic devices into any US Embassy. You go through a metal detector and are searched.
 
The case is mostly decided before the interview based on your evidence. She should bring a large photo album. You can start sending a lot of emails and print them out. You can get her birth father and step father to write letters.
 
She has to take the medical exam at the specified clinic in Moscow. There can be medical reasons to deny the visa.
 
You cannot enter the US Embassy in Moscow with your fiancee.
 
You can find all the necessary forms, instructions and so on at the embassy website. The procedure changes and what someone did a year or two ago could be obsolete. Each US Embassy has their own procedures based upon the laws of the country they are in.
 
You need to find out about permission form her child's birth father. If no father is listed on the child's birth certificate and she says she does not know who the father is, we wonder what they will accept?