Divorce finally final after 3 years and 3 different lawyers for her.

[Daveman]

Thanks!! That has cleared the matter up for me. But it is a point people need to think about! Its not just the family, it is the pet side of things as well. I think its best the pets learn some of both languages, just incase there is a divorce, or something worse happen, god forbid! I wouldn't want to be a cat in the US out on the street with only Russian language ability

I just asked the Kittygirl about her adaptation process with language.  She replied in English with a distinctive Rus/Ukrainian accent.  She's meowlingual.  She still purrs, quite fluently,  in Russian, however.. mrrrmrrrmrrrmrrr

[steveboy]

So she will be ok if she finds a US lover over there

[SANDRO43]

To confuse a cat you will probably need to do more than just speak to them in two different languages. Maybe hire an expert team.

 

[mies]

exactly 

[mies]

To be fair to Greg, mies, years ago, when Greg was writing about his wife before their problems, I read a post to my better half.  He said "Yeah, well, it won't last."  I was perplexed, as I didn't know how he could get that from a post.  What he meant was, he has seen many women like Greg's wife and her mother.  When I said Mama was a village teacher, he said "That confirms it." So, I don't think the language dispute was as big an issue as it has been chewed over here, in terms of their relations. 

I agree with you, and with your husband, on this matter.

[GregfromGa]

To be fair to Greg, mies, years ago, when Greg was writing about his wife before their problems, I read a post to my better half.  He said "Yeah, well, it won't last."  I was perplexed, as I didn't know how he could get that from a post.  What he meant was, he has seen many women like Greg's wife and her mother.  When I said Mama was a village teacher, he said "That confirms it." So, I don't think the language dispute was as big an issue as it has been chewed over here, in terms of their relations. 

Today as I had a bit of time before going to a meeting, I read some of the posts here to the better half.  He said "It was doomed from the beginning.  Be happy you never saw this in your life.  I saw it more than anyone should."  What he meant was, Greg was a means to an end.  That may be why Greg posted about hearing many stories similar to his own.

Boe, your husband doesn't moonlight as an Orthodox Priest from Canada does he?  We met with one during Easter holidays at the church she started attending.  He listened intently for 2 or more hours to both myself, me ex and her mother. After hearing everything each of us had to say he tore in my M-I-L. He told her she should be ashamed of herself for never giving me a chance and basically making her daughter chose. He told her that she spends entirely too much time here. He told her that no one would ever be good enough for her daughter. The ex just say there and wept. After chastising the M-I-L she was crying and acted faint which was always her ploy when we would have a knock down drag out. This would garner sympathy from my ex.The priest told me in a room with the just me and him and the guy that runs the church that my marriage had no chance. He said I would never be happy because there was never anyway to have peace. He wished me luck. My ex and her mom's solution to the problem was to not attend services there anymore. Boe, I don't know what your husband thought he saw or whatever but he was right. The language thing was tolerable but not fair. It just got old. There was no give and take. My father-in-law was a good humble man. I know that he loved his American son-in-law. I always loved it when he would come. It didn't bother my ex or her mother at all that he would stay 3 to 6 months all alone over there. He probably enjoyed the peace.It doesn't matter. I think we have beat this dead horse enough. I wish the mods would lock this thread.  Enough already.

[Voyageur]

Greg - I haven't read this whole thread, but my heart goes out to you. I've been married for nearly 8 years and I can relate to what you stated in your original post about those venomous Russian Fiancee forums.  And Instagram. I remember when I read on one of these forums about the envy and constant comparison to others.  Another poster said that somehow the husband should be able to control this - I am a husband not a father and can't see myself banning a grown woman from visiting websites.

This life that we've chosen is certainly a tough road and certainly not for everyone.  It is probably true that every relationship  is different, but there are also some continuing threads or similarity. 

[Jumper]

 Greg,
 I hope they don't. I say this because the responses here have shown me that there are some serious cultural issues that cannot be overlooked. This thread is important for all newbies to read and understand. Thank you.

 My thoughts seem to mirror Davemans......just a little less sophisticated and not nearly as many big words

I'm not sure how instructional it could be without the unfortunate breaking it down to details?

Greg said his ex did not have any friends in Ukraine, he dint meet any, and none where at their wedding.
It's always good to see how someone interacts with others,because eventually that is how they will likely interact with you.If they have zero friends..or very dependent on parents, it raises a lot of questions


Not speaking about gregs situation,but as a generality I don't buy into relationship  problems as  cultural issues, its mostly individual compatibility,  just like any domestic relationship.
For every example here of how western men are,  or  FSU women behave...or MILs messing up a marriage.. 
I've heard the same story about some local girls yahoo boyfriend or hubby, or  a buddy with a
crazy or unappreciative girl,or story of a MIL who simply wont stay out of a marriage.
A lot of people basically can't get along throughout the course of human history,
add in couples that have less background together..and not fully fluent in a common language
- and whatever cultural expectations of bowing/thank you/standing on your head etc mean next to nothing.

At its root there seem to be takers and givers.
If you are involved with someone who is generally good natured, shows genuine concern for others often, and flexible, the odds cultural issues are going to undermine your relationship are pretty  small.
It should go without saying that you should hold those same qualities, or at least aspire to them.

As far as general appreciation, spoken or unspoken, its a fairly unhealthy relationship if that isn't mutual and clear to each partner.

.