First trip

[Bruce]

I knew you would not like that line.  However, Ellen, I agree with you to an extent.  Remember, I am a very well educated professional with a good job.  It is not in the best interests of our family situation for me to have a woman who must work.  My wife is well educated.  Right now we feel it is best for us for her to ease into American culture and society.  I want her to have the possibility to have a good job in the USA, equivalent to what she had in Russia.  She does not have to work.  Right now she is slowly studying for the TOFEL exam.  Then, she will go back and get another masters degree here, I hope.  Of course it is up to her.   Family ie. children and I are the most important thing to her right now - which is part of my reason for finding this "good" woman I love.  

[Bruce]

Bruno - I just read and digested your last post.  That is another classic.  Every now and then you sure hit the nail on the head!

[Bruno]

And me, i have read your last post to Elen... and i understandt you... but maybe you need to extend the signification of the word "work"... it can be "work" without money, only for allow your RW to find some other occupation...

You have several example in US, from US woman who don't need work because the man have enough income but they stay active in the life... by example with charity, with participation with comity of parents in school, with some action from church ( choral ), help to the city library, .... don't keep you RW only in the kitchen, this will kill his personality...

My previous post was general... but each man need to find the best for him and his RW... since you have enough money for two... other possibility are open to your RW... by example several RW have some knowledge in art... music, painting, dance, ... she can find his personal satifaction in these domain... your good job allow this...

Money don't make happiness but it help a lot... and you are a lucky guy who have enough... use it to help your RW to have some "hobby", to reach some personal satifaction... 

[Bruce]

I agree with you Bruno.  She already has some friends and I am working with her slowly to help her achieve personal satisfaction outside of the home.  My wife has only been here since last September, and we both want to make sure she can walk before she runs.  Step by step - and she will run when she wants.  She has all my support with whatever her decisions end up being. 

[Bruno]

Bruce, what i can reply to you last post ? Maybe i can say that you make all right and that i wish you a lot of happiness to you and your wife... you have already find the best way for you and her... and you have write in very short what i have try to explain in my previous post : "help her achieve personal satisfaction"... really a keyword in a good relation...

[Elen]

It's all right and Ok but as for me I'd want to have my own money as well as I didn't use to ask them from you

[jb]

Elen,

I'm surprised to see you use the German;

"Kuche, Kinder, Kirche"

ie., "Kitchen, Children, and Church".  As this was often quoted during the Nazi days as the only  proper role for women.  I thought we had moved past this thinking.

Regarding places to find "good" women, large cities vs. small towns, I suggest men review the scam sites.  Count the number of known scammers from Moscow compared to the ones from even a single small city like Lugansk.  On a per capita basis, it looks to me like there are more "good women" in Moscow than you would expect to find in the small towns of the FSU.  If you look at the local economy of the small towns, and compare, you will find a there is greater incentive to set up a cottage industry, (like milking money from gullible foreign men) in the backwater of the FSU than  in a city like Moscow or Kiev where people can earn a decent living.

The problem with that lies in that the women of a more economically prospering city are less desperate to get out.  A man might actually have to win a woman's heart to induce her to leave her home for a distant land.  He might actually have to make her fall in love before she will be inclined to agree to marry.  He will also not find so many girls eager to marry a man 20+ years older.

A man must examine his own motives for seeking a bride in the FSU, and set his search goals accordingly.

[Bruce]

JB - excellent point on the chance of finding a scammer probably being higher outside of a big city because of the "desperate" desire to get out of the town / country that may be prevalent in a woman there that would not exist in a larger city girl like Moscow.  We could all go around and around.  The main point is that there are great woman throughout the FSU.  The key is for the guy to know himself, know what he is looking for and have a method for finding and holding onto what is important to himself. 

[Elen]

ie., "Kitchen, Children, and Church". As this was often quoted during the Nazi days as the only proper role for women. I thought we had moved past this thinking.

 

Just once  American women thought they "had moved past this thinking" american males rushed away to the FSU:D:D

[Photo Guy]

(Btw master degree of University and job are not mutually exclusive to kids and support of husbands in Russia (May be that's what we are different to yours american women:P)

That's something I like about women of the former SU.
I could be wrong, but I get the impression they are comfortable
as an educated worker AND as a mother who supports
her husband on an emotional/intellectual level. Another
(false?) impression I have, is that RW or UW are less
competitive with their husbands than a typical AW. Yeah, these
are generalizations and a 25 year old is different from a 45 year old.
Can there be competitive power trips with a woman from the FSU?
I admit I have the impression that they fit into the family structure
more harmoniously than a AW. Am I deluding myself?  -doug L.

[Bruce]

I think you could easily find a wife from the FSU who agrees with that 100%.

[Elen]

Can there be competitive power trips with a woman from the FSU?

She should have her own "the last word" in any dispute. Let start learn Russian with such frases

Da, dorogaya (Yes , dear)

Kak skagesh', dorogaya (Like you say, dear)

Ty prava, dorogaya (You are right, dear)

After that you can go and do what you want:D

 

[jb]

Da, dorogaya (Yes , dear)

Is the most often spoken phrase around here  :D

[ConnerVT]

Da, dorogaya (Yes , dear)

Is the most often spoken phrase around here :D[/quote]
It's Konechno, moya dorogaya zhena here in my house.

In English, the words of wisdom I've been pushing my son to realize is "When Mama's happy, everyone is happy"...

[Muzh]

[user=134]Photo Guy[/user] wrote:

Can there be competitive power trips with a woman from the FSU? I admit I have the impression that they fit into the family structure more harmoniously than a AW. Am I deluding myself? -doug L.

This is a very good question.  I don't think you will experience "competitive power trips" as the ones you are acustomed to with AW.  There will be a lot of misunderstandings, especially at the beginning, because there will be a lot of things that are new to her.  The most basic "functions" that you take for granted are totally foreign (pun) to her.  This is where she will try to "assert" her views (you might see it as competition) because she does not know better.  It is your job, and I can't stress this enough, to walk her through the intricasies of living in America.  There will be times that you will throw your arms up in the air and ready to give up.  And believe me, these times will come as guaranteed as the sun will rise the next day.  Eventually, she will learn a new system and that's when you let her do it on her own. 

Competition?  No, there is no competition.  It's very simple, she tells you and you do it.

[Mtnmansummit]

Who is a reliable company to sent and deliver flowers. to Belaya Tserkov, Ukraine?

[Stirlitz]

I guess they should be based in Kiev or have a rep there.