Done!

[Boethius]

I agree with GQ.  A 10 hour drive with a 3 year old is ridiculous. 


I did a search, and there are flights from St. Petersburg to Raleigh, for a whole $800, with a transfer from JFK to LaGuardia.  There is a 4 hour 45 minute layover. 

[GQBlues]

It was basically the same flight as buying the tickets separately, with an overnight layover at the airport and flying out first thing in the morning.  I am not going to ask her to bunk out at JFK overnight    And I know it's a long drive, I do it all the time, I just got back from the 9 hour drive from PA yesterday morning.  Hell when I moved down here I made 2 round trips, in a row without sleeping in between, part of which was in a snow storm, in a moving truck.  Granted I was younger then, but I'm just saying this won't be my first time of driving all night long.  Whenever I drive up north I do it at night to avoid traffic anyway.

Then best you explore other POE options that would offer, most preferably same carrier, the least amount of layovers and layover time void of an overnight stay, even if it cost you a few dollars more. Keep your booty at bay and make sure your home is nice, warm and inviting when they arrive.

Forget the road trip. I wasn't worried about the state of your booty making the trip, I was worried for their booties. I couldn't give a rat's arse with your booty. An accident can happen, which is why it's called an *accident* and heaven forbid it happens with them in the car with you. Not only is that going to be an unnecessary mishap, chances are they won't have any medical insurance to pay for any type of hospitalization. Think beyond yourself for a change, jmana.

Explore other flights, other airports, even another day if you have to...

Here's a link for all POE in the US. Look for your city, or one closest to you, then explore for a preferred route.

http://www.cbp.gov/xp/cgov/toolbox/ports/

[jmana]

I agree with GQ.  A 10 hour drive with a 3 year old is ridiculous. 


I did a search, and there are flights from St. Petersburg to Raleigh, for a whole $800, with a transfer from JFK to LaGuardia.  There is a 4 hour 45 minute layover.

Really?  I didn't see that the day I bought the tickets.  Too late now though, the ones I bought are non refundable.  And a 10 hour drive with a 3 (she's now 4) year old is ridiculous?  Says who?  I've been making the drive to PA and back for every holiday with my son since he was 4, he's 12 now and he turned out just fine    I love how everyone here makes a mountain out of a molehill.  I can promise you they will both be sleeping the majority of the trip and won't give a crap that they are in a car that long.  I remember when I was a kid and my parents drove me to Florida from PA, and I honestly don't remember stopping at all, now that was torture!

[Boethius]

What your child is used to is irrelevant.  I have 3 kids, now teens.  I can't imagine subjecting them to a 10 hour drive after an equally long flight, particularly on poor roads, all to save a few bucks.

[jmana]

What your child is used to is irrelevant.  I have 3 kids, now teens.  I can't imagine subjecting them to a 10 hour drive after an equally long flight, particularly on poor roads, all to save a few bucks.

But I'm not doing it to "save a few bucks"!  Like I said, it's going to cost me more to drive than it would for them to fly, but I'm doing it so they don't have to find their way to a hotel overnight after flying all day and then be back at the airport the next morning.  I am doing it for their convenience really, because I thought it would be nice to be able to be there at the airport when they come, and then get their luggage and load everything up for them and then be on our way. 

[jmana]

Well, all this arguing is for nothing, I just did a search on Kayak and it's bringing up all kinds of flights that I couldn't find just a few days ago on all the other search engines.  So 7:35pm should give her plenty of time, right?

[Boethius]

I would factor in a one hour arrival delay, and 2 hours through customs.

[JayH]

Now it looks like you are thinking!   I found St P to Raleigh flight  for $603  -- 4hr45 layover at JFK-- just a nice safe amount of time.
Flight to JFK @ $403. Not even trying to find best price AND the most convenient.
 BTW-- StP flight with aeroflot is thru Moscow? Correct? 27Hours? Plus getting to the airport?
Thinking if subjecting them to 10 hour plus drive is just plain selfish -- and dumb thinking at best. I have done hundreds of trips like this and longer-- so i do know a little about them.
You have potential weather issues to highlight the unknown here!!

NYC(JFK) to Raleigh about $112-- without trying to hard

[Faux Pas]

But I'm not doing it to "save a few bucks"!  Like I said, it's going to cost me more to drive than it would for them to fly, but I'm doing it so they don't have to find their way to a hotel overnight after flying all day and then be back at the airport the next morning.  I am doing it for their convenience really, because I thought it would be nice to be able to be there at the airport when they come, and then get their luggage and load everything up for them and then be on our way.

Some folks will cut off their nose to spite their face just to do a finger wave at a group of loudmouths on a forum. Loudmouths that actually might know what they are talking about. If you were looking for a way a few days ago to make it happen instead of looking for excuses for not making it happen, you would have found those flights then, too.

I never seem to be surprised that some guys can find their way to Russia and even find themselves a woman to marry them but still can't find their ass with both hands. *astonishing*

[jmana]

Some folks will cut off their nose to spite their face just to do a finger wave at a group of loudmouths on a forum. Loudmouths that actually might know what they are talking about. If you were looking for a way a few days ago to make it happen instead of looking for excuses for not making it happen, you would have found those flights then, too.

I never seem to be surprised that some guys can find their way to Russia and even find themselves a woman to marry them but still can't find their ass with both hands. *astonishing*

Actually you're wrong.  It shows these flights on Kayak, but when I go to United it only has 2 actual seats available, so I am thinking they weren't there earlier this week.  I'm holding off on booking them because it doesn't seem like that would give them enough time to get though immigration, especially if there is a delay    There is a Jetblue and American Airline flight that leaves later that night too, but they arrive the next morning, I have no idea where they go in the meantime...  Looks like I'm back to square one.

[CanadaMan]

jmana, if it were me I would take it even one step further.

Here's what I would do.

I would get on a plane with my son (yeah take him out of school) the day before she arrives, or the same day if you can get a flight (many hours before she arrives).
Check into a hotel.
Greet her cheerfully when she arrives at the airport.
Take her, her daughter and your son back to the hotel for dinner, sleep over the night and go back to the airport.

Get on the flight you booked (now!) and return home all refreshed and happy.

Your wife will be so impressed that you are not 'greedy'. 

[fathertime]

jmana, if it were me I would take it even one step further.

Here's what I would do.

I would get on a plane with my son (yeah take him out of school) the day before she arrives, or the same day if you can get a flight (many hours before she arrives).
Check into a hotel.
Greet her cheerfully when she arrives at the airport.
Take her, her daughter and your son back to the hotel for dinner, sleep over the night and go back to the airport.

Get on the flight you booked (now!) and return home all refreshed and happy.

Your wife will be so impressed that you are not 'greedy'. 

Hey Jmana,


Trying to put myself in your lady's situation, I think I'd like Canadaman's idea quite a bit...10 hours on the flight probably isn't going to be a blast with a 3 or 4 year old...but then if she can relax in a nice hotel room with a bubble bath and room service or something, it could turn into something real nice....Then the next day, you all take a flight back in the afternoon or something like that.  I don't know if it saves you or costs you money, but I would focus on making it a positive experience all around... A 10 hour drive would sound unpleasant to me, as my my first experience in a new country, and coming off of a long flight...I'd want to be more comfortable and I'm guessing your lady would feel the same...


Anyway good luck with it all,
Fathertime! 

[jmana]

jmana, if it were me I would take it even one step further.

Here's what I would do.

I would get on a plane with my son (yeah take him out of school) the day before she arrives, or the same day if you can get a flight (many hours before she arrives).
Check into a hotel.
Greet her cheerfully when she arrives at the airport.
Take her, her daughter and your son back to the hotel for dinner, sleep over the night and go back to the airport.

Get on the flight you booked (now!) and return home all refreshed and happy.

Your wife will be so impressed that you are not 'greedy'. 

Oh yes, that's a wonderful idea, blow $1,000 in one night to prove to her I'm not "greedy".  Well if I have to do that to prove to her I'm not greedy, then she's not someone I want to be married to.  If she's not someone that after going through the horrible agony of sitting in a comfortable reclining seat and being fed a full meal while in the air and having a tv 12 inches from her face can't stomach sleeping for 10 more hours in another comfortable reclining seat, then honestly she's not the person I think she is.  She seems a little tougher than what you guys are apparently getting involved with.  I guess you guys are finding the high maintenance ones, which is fine, you can keep them!  As for me, I don't feel I need to "prove" anything.  She knows who I am and is fine with it.  She already said she preferred for me to drive her home rather than get on yet another flight after going through immigration.  Sometimes when I read guys' posts here I feel like I am talking to someone stuck in another era.  An era where men thought women were inferior and not able to do anything for themselves but to enjoy their man's money.  It's strange to me, especially considering I've only dated equals all my life.  I've never felt the need to prove to anyone I've dated that I have money and am willing to spend it.  But I guess that's because I don't look at a woman doused in makeup and ill fitting clothes and think it's sexy.  I tend to go for the girls that are real, with a natural beauty, and who have realistic expectations of the world, and of their husband.  Sorry, that's my rant for the night.  Didn't want to rant, but these posts are getting annoying.  Yeah I'd love to have other options, and yes there ARE other options, but I am not going to spend an extra grand on it unless there is a winter storm coming.  Right now there aren't any flights out of there that night that get anywhere close to here, she already told me she'd prefer not to have to stay in a hotel overnight, and short of telling her to find her way to the Greyhound station and take the bus here, I'm about out of options. 

[jmana]

Damn, I mentioned Greyhound as kind of a joke, but the more I thought about it the more it seems like a valid option considering there is a bus that leaves NY at 10pm.  They could take a taxi from the airport to get there.  Zero transfers and they'd be here at 9:40 in the morning.  Probably just as comfortable as being in an airplane, and would be safer than me driving, especially considering any possibility of bad weather. 

[Daveman]

Oh yes, that's a wonderful idea, blow $1,000 in one night to prove to her I'm not "greedy".  Well if I have to do that to prove to her I'm not greedy,

Chivalry certainly isn't dead... 

[tfcrew]

  these posts are getting annoying....Yeah I'd love to have other options, and yes there ARE other options..I'm about out of options.

I agree about 'annoying posts' but whose?

When the thread is titled 'Done!' exclamation point, we the readers expected all to be home safe and sound.
Now it sounds more like GWB and his 'Mission Accomplished' trip.

I am sure that this lady is quite the  'big girl'  now as has been stated but picking up and leaving for a strange destination w/daughter by themselves is a tall order no matter what experience someone has.

[jmana]

I agree about 'annoying posts' but whose?

When the thread is titled 'Done!' exclamation point, we the readers expected all to be home safe and sound.
Now it sounds more like GWB and his 'Mission Accomplished' trip.

I am sure that this lady is quite the  'big girl'  now as has been stated but picking up and leaving for a strange destination w/daughter by themselves is a tall order no matter what experience someone has.

I don't know, maybe they aren't necessarily annoying, it's just frustrating because it seems I always have to be careful what I post here or else I will be accused of being "cheap" or "greedy" which is the most ridiculous thing ever.  Yeah I don't make 6 figures like apparently some guys here do, but I feel lucky for what I do have.  The world is a fast changing place, and those that had money just a few years ago are now delivering pizzas, so maybe these guys too will someday understand where I'm coming from.  They all remind me of this guy "King of all Blacks" from the Howard Stern show.  He's the same way, if you don't spend money like he does, to him you're a piece of crap.  The only difference is he blows his money on clothes, while a lot of men here blow their money on tying to impress their fake Russian dolls.  Don't know why I let that annoy me, but it does.   

[jone]

I would love to tell you something that I am sure you need to hear.

Getting an FSU woman to love you and to marry you and to  move to your country is the EASY part.  What you do to ease her transition into our society and our culture will determine your success or failure in this venture. 

***********************************************************************************

Rather than speculate on what you should do to get your bride to RDU or where ever else you might live, maybe we all might really assist you by creating some ease of transition suggestions. 

***********************************************************************************

Until the time your new wife and daughter are acclimated into our society, they will be dependent on you, and you only.  What happens in your home is only part of her feeling good about the move.  She doesn't know your neighborhood, your community, any friends, any family.  Just you.

Here is my initial list of things to do that may assist you:

1.  Find any friends or neighbors that are from Eastern Europe to come and welcome her and her daughter when she comes.   

2.  Give her an immediate lifeline home through Skype or other means that is hers to use - at her disposal, not when you say it is available. 

3.  Once her legal status is obtained, move immediately to get her a driver's license.  (Many FSU women are intimidated by driving - do not let that stop you.  She needs to drive.)

Now, I have never imported a wife here to the US. 

Those who have, certainly have better suggestions than I do.

[jmana]

I would love to tell you something that I am sure you need to hear.

Getting an FSU woman to love you and to marry you and to  move to your country is the EASY part.  What you do to ease her transition into our society and our culture will determine your success or failure in this venture. 

***********************************************************************************

Rather than speculate on what you should do to get your bride to RDU or where ever else you might live, maybe we all might really assist you by creating some ease of transition suggestions. 

***********************************************************************************

Until the time your new wife and daughter are acclimated into our society, they will be dependent on you, and you only.  What happens in your home is only part of her feeling good about the move.  She doesn't know your neighborhood, your community, any friends, any family.  Just you.

Here is my initial list of things to do that may assist you:

1.  Find any friends or neighbors that are from Eastern Europe to come and welcome her and her daughter when she comes.   

2.  Give her an immediate lifeline home through Skype or other means that is hers to use - at her disposal, not when you say it is available. 

3.  Once her legal status is obtained, move immediately to get her a driver's license.  (Many FSU women are intimidated by driving - do not let that stop you.  She needs to drive.)

Now, I have never imported a wife here to the US. 

Those who have, certainly have better suggestions than I do.

Thanks for the advice.  I actually have been through it before, so I sort of know what to expect.  Yeah I am not the controlling type, so she can Skype, or do whatever she wants on the computer whenever she wants.  I know she has at least one friend in the US, plus her dad is here.  They aren't local though.  I don't really know any local Russians, there has to be some though.  If that's something she tells me is important to her, I'll find some kind of meetup group, and if one doesn't exist, maybe start one for her.  Regarding driving, that will come AFTER she gets legit driving lessons.  With my ex I tried to teach her, but that proved to be too frustrating.  And I for sure don't have the patience to do it here with all the traffic and crazy drivers.  I do have a second car she can use, but like I said, I want to be sure she knows what she's doing with it. 

[Ade]

The words cheap, selfish and absolutely clueless come to mind. Jesus wept, where do these people come from and how on earth do they manage to dupe anyone to come to live with them after just one (!?) short visit? Desperate people lose grasp on their senses I guess.

[Gator]

jmana,

People here are trying to help you.   

You are correct that RW can be resilient.   I have dated RW who took trips such as the following: 24-hour train to St. Petersburg, 6-hour layover,  12-hour bus ride and ferry to Finland, another 6-hour layover, and then a 3-hour flight to Spain.  They accepted it without complaint. 

One difference - no kids.  Has Alina ever made such a long trip before?   Perhaps Alina will not be bothered by the ordeal you have planned for her.  But do try to make her arrival a celebration, and above all be safe (driving 20 hours plus whatever time you spend waiting in JFK is not safe).

If you reside near Raleigh, I suggest that you send a PM to a RW there.  She used to post much at RWD.  Her name is BluesFairy.   She has children the same age as Alina's daughter. 

If BluesFairy does not respond, please confide with a friend who is a mother of young children.     

[missAmeno]

Jmana, if child is not used to long distance driving it will be hell for child, child's mum and you. If in the end you disregard all advice provided here and go ahead with 10 hours drive make sure you at least have with you motion sickness pills appropriate for child's age, bucket and lots of baby wipes, said mum of 5 years old child that throwing up after 15 mins in a car without motion sickness pill and after 40 mins with motion sickness pill with a subsequent  every-few-mins-follow-up-till-the-rest-of-the-journey.

[jmana]

Well thanks for all the worst case scenarios, just like you guys told me before the interview that there was no way she'd be approved because we only met once, had no proof we used Skype, etc....  It's all good though, I appreciate a differing point of view than my own.  And right now I'm waiting on Alina to hear back about what she wants to do.  I gave her the only 3 options that exist at this point.  To spend the night at a hotel then come back to the airport in the morning, to have me drive home overnight, or to take a taxi to the bus station and take a Greyhound Express overnight.  Personally I like the last option because that way I don't have to worry about weather issues, and for her there is less chance of getting lost (when getting to a hotel and back), plus she won't have to go through all the hassle of checking in her bags and going through security again in the morning in order to fly.  I know Greyhound isn't the most glamorous way to travel, but then again neither is flying. And before anyone accuses me of being cheap again, the cost to fly here is the same as the cost for the greyhound tix and the taxi to the bus station

[jmana]

The words cheap, selfish and absolutely clueless come to mind. Jesus wept, where do these people come from and how on earth do they manage to dupe anyone to come to live with them after just one (!?) short visit? Desperate people lose grasp on their senses I guess.

Jesus wept?!  WTF?  And cheap and selfish?  Oh really?!  So the fact that I've repeated myself over and over saying it would cost me MORE to drive there than for her to fly just kind of what, went over your big fat head?  And how is it selfish for me to drive 20 HOURS STRAIGHT to go get her!?  Yeah that's SOOOOO selfish of me, geesh I'm the most selfish guy in the world to do something like that.  If Jesus is weeping, it's because he allowed people like you to be born. 

[LiveFromUkraine]

We came in through Chicago.  Spent a couple days there before we moved on to our final destination.   It was much more relaxing and we were happy to take advantage of spending time in a great city.