Done!

[Konfushus]

Konfushus, let me ask you. Do you have young children?

Yes.

How often do you pleasure them with a 10 hour car ride?

long trips... often. It's 30 hours door to door from home in the US to home in Russia.

On long car trips, the kids sleep peacefully, as I did on frequent long trips when I was a child. (18 hour drives a few times a year plus many other trips). Those 18 hour trips would be torture for some. I have fond memories of them. My wife enjoys long car trips (since I'm the one driving). She doesn't like flights, even short ones. The kids are more restless on planes, waiting in lines and during layovers than in the car.

Not everyone is the same. Not everyone experiences the same 'burdens'. This is why what I advised above is to do what's best for his fiancee and she knows what is comfortable or a burden for her child.

He just went to United website for whatever reason and that was it. Like couldn't be bothered researching further for something that would be a win-win; like a reasonable price to avoid a long lay over and then a long ride home.

He didn't say that. He said that the last flight to his town left at 5 PM or so and that would force a NY layover because of the arrival times from St. Pete to NY. Are there better flight options? Maybe, but seems that even after prodding by members here he couldn't find any. Either there are no better options or he's inept at searching. It doesn't mean he didn't make the search.

[Shadow]

I do not know the school system in the USA, here it would probably be possible to get some extra days off for such an occasion.
As MrsShadow has fear of flying I did go to Moscow to pick her up and help carrying the luggage. It was appreciated, but I can understand that job and his son might not allow such arrangement.

When his wife will arrive, she will have a lot of luggage, and in general arriving to her new home will be much more wanted as seeing NYC. NYC will not run away. Find the most comfortable way to get her to her destination, without unnecesary trips where she will just worry about her luggage getting misplaced.

[jmana]

Man, it seems I have more explaining to do, eh?
 
To beging with, two members of the RWD separately came to the same flight from Moscow to closer to his house. He just went to United website for whatever reason and that was it. Like couldn't be bothered researching further for something that would be a win-win; like a reasonable price to avoid a long lay over and then a long ride home.
 
Why did he discussed his plans here and then changed his mind? Let me guess. Maybe because they were half-assed?
 

It wasn't that I just "changed my mind", the available flights were changing constantly, the one I got her on wasn't even available earlier that day.  Plus initially I was planning to drive because I didn't think it was that big of a deal until you guys told me otherwise.  I mean she was fine with me driving.  If I would have planned it a little better I would have looked at the JFK to RDU flights before booking her LED to JFK flight, but I didn't realize the options for coming here at night are sparse.  Had I known I might have been able to get her an earlier arrival in JFK, or book a different day. 
Oh, and regarding your previous comment about me wanting a sex slave, cook, and maid, well you couldn't be more wrong about that.  In every relationship I've been in I've always done the majority of the cooking and housework, I actually enjoy it and really don't plan this to be any different unless she wants to cook and clean, then she's more than welcome to help out    And as for sex, I've had my fill of that and am looking for much more this time around.  It's all good of course, but I am craving primarily an emotional connection, and I feel that Alina and I have that moreso than I did with any of the previous women I've dated.  And you can look at it as "importation" of a wife, or whatever you think it is.  My thing is I've dated American, Russian, Ukrainian, Korean, Panamanian, African American, Etc..  women.  It really doesn't matter where they are from, but I've found it's really hard to find someone who isn't full of themselves, most of them think they are god's gift to mankind and will make you suffer because of it.  There are a few women out there that aren't like that, and I've met a couple.  I met Alina, and a really good friend from China.  But to be honest they are like needles in a haystack.  It has nothing about having to "import" someone, it's just about "finding" someone that fits what you're looking for no matter where they live, then figuring out the logistics of making it work if possible.  Call it what you want I suppose....

[jmana]

I do not know the school system in the USA, here it would probably be possible to get some extra days off for such an occasion.
As MrsShadow has fear of flying I did go to Moscow to pick her up and help carrying the luggage. It was appreciated, but I can understand that job and his son might not allow such arrangement.

I really can't allow my son to take off any more school.  He is in a year round school and had basically the whole month of December off, and he missed 3 days before the break because we went to my father's in PA for Thanksgiving and that's where he was staying for that track out, and they had 3 days of school after Thanksgiving and I couldn't see the point of driving 9 hours home, then 3 days later taking off work to drive him 9 hours back up to PA and then me driving 9 hours back home.  So to make a long story short, the school would probably not be pleased if he took any more unexcused time off within the next month.

[Shadow]

I really can't allow my son to take off any more school.  He is in a year round school and had basically the whole month of December off, and he missed 3 days before the break because we went to my father's in PA for Thanksgiving and that's where he was staying for that track out, and they had 3 days of school after Thanksgiving and I couldn't see the point of driving 9 hours home, then 3 days later taking off work to drive him 9 hours back up to PA and then me driving 9 hours back home.  So to make a long story short, the school would probably not be pleased if he took any more unexcused time off within the next month.

It would not be unexcused

[GQBlues]

It wasn't that I just "changed my mind", the available flights were changing constantly, the one I got her on wasn't even available earlier that day.  Plus initially I was planning to drive because I didn't think it was that big of a deal until you guys told me otherwise.  I mean she was fine with me driving.  If I would have planned it a little better I would have looked at the JFK to RDU flights before booking her LED to JFK flight, but I didn't realize the options for coming here at night are sparse.  Had I known I might have been able to get her an earlier arrival in JFK, or book a different day. 
Oh, and regarding your previous comment about me wanting a sex slave, cook, and maid, well you couldn't be more wrong about that.  In every relationship I've been in I've always done the majority of the cooking and housework, I actually enjoy it and really don't plan this to be any different unless she wants to cook and clean, then she's more than welcome to help out    And as for sex, I've had my fill of that and am looking for much more this time around.  It's all good of course, but I am craving primarily an emotional connection, and I feel that Alina and I have that moreso than I did with any of the previous women I've dated.  And you can look at it as "importation" of a wife, or whatever you think it is.  My thing is I've dated American, Russian, Ukrainian, Korean, Panamanian, African American, Etc..  women.  It really doesn't matter where they are from, but I've found it's really hard to find someone who isn't full of themselves, most of them think they are god's gift to mankind and will make you suffer because of it.  There are a few women out there that aren't like that, and I've met a couple.  I met Alina, and a really good friend from China.  But to be honest they are like needles in a haystack.  It has nothing about having to "import" someone, it's just about "finding" someone that fits what you're looking for no matter where they live, then figuring out the logistics of making it work if possible.  Call it what you want I suppose....

+1000

I agree with everything you sId here especially the part how you mentioned she said she's fine with the driving part. What better way to see her new home than a road trip like that . These women are resilient like you said.

I believe you should be applauded and not scorned. So I hope you don't take the counter opinions too personally. They are just trying to help, believe it or not.

Reading your story I think there should more men like you in this endeavor

[jone]

I have not had my kids in elementary school for awhile, but I will tell you that before Middle School, total number of days off really don't make much difference.  The gloves start to come off in Middle School and then totally come off in High School.  Simply make a visit to the principal's office and explain the situation. 

The importance of gaining a new (step) mother can never be underestimated in a child's life.  (You make no mention of any involvement by the child's birth mother.)  Making that child an advocate and participant cannot be overestimated.  You have three people to make this transition special for and it is going to require a great deal of sensitivity that heretofore you have not demonstrated in your writing.

If I were you, and even if the woman and her daughter are coming directly to your city, I would take my child out of school for a day or two.  I would also have presents that HE can specifically give to his new step mom and step sister.

[Daveman]

+1000

I agree with everything you sId here especially the part how you mentioned she said she's fine with the driving part. What better way to see her new home than a road trip like that . These women are resilient like you said.

I believe you should be applauded and not scorned. So I hope you don't take the counter opinions too personally. They are just trying to help, believe it or not.

Reading your story I think there should more men like you in this endeavor

 

I gotta hand it to you. You are indeed a character... sarcasm or not, it is excellent practice and over time, it just might wear ON you.

[Konfushus]

LOL... more on what Jmana should do. 

He and his fiancee came up with what works alright for them. Isn't that good enough? Too funny.

Jmana - Remember the man, the boy and the donkey.

[LiveFromUkraine]

Traveling can be stressful especially when traveling to a place you have never been too.  I can only imagine with a small child.  Even if she is resilient, I bet she would welcome someone being there to take care of the small things like arranging taxis to hotel, checking into hotel, helping with luggage, etc... 


I was there for immigration and everything else since I was on the same plane.  Yeah, she could have done it all herself but me being there was a big comfort and I believe that is what most people are talking about. 

[tfcrew]

Some of the silliness spoken here is that FSU women are so stupid they cannot make connecting flights without an AM holding their hands along the way.   
How the hell do they think they travel by air all over Europe on vacations?  While it is 'nice' to accomodate your fiance/wife when it is practical...

No one ever wrote this [about being stupid] so cut the crap there.

That each and every Russian woman has traveled west on vacations is a gross assumption.
 [unless the visa requirements have relaxed unbeknowenst to myself]

"Nice"? You're being nice to someone by blessing them with your presence?
 

[jmana]

No one ever wrote this [about being stupid] so cut the crap there.

That each and every Russian woman has traveled west on vacations is a gross assumption.
 [unless the visa requirements have relaxed unbeknowenst to myself]

"Nice"? You're being nice to someone by blessing them with your presence?
 

Personally I'd think traveling here for a Russian person (man or woman) would be a cake walk compared to some of the other places I've heard of Russians going!  I've talked to Russian women in the past that have been to some sketchy places that even I wouldn't want to go to. 

[CanadaMan]

I gotta hand it to you. You are indeed a character... sarcasm or not, it is excellent practice and over time, it just might wear ON you.

Yes indeed Dave, it was quite a departure from his usual prose wasn't it?

Way cool! That's just awesome, man!

There's definitely nothing like 10 hour road trip after arriving from nearly a 10 flight!

Now if you can just stock up on water and crackers for their meals the next 30 days, imagine the additional money you can save!

Congratulations! Bravo! You just gotta love the MOB!

You know...now that I've come to think over your saga here jmana, I've come to actually agree with what you have done so far.

... So please, understand that I am being sincere with this, I applaud your conviction for staying the course and ignoring all the other previous opinions of the site's members and instead took the words of your fiancee that she will be perfectly alright with whatever decision or plan you have installed for her pending trip to the US.

You should be celebrated!

So, I wish you and your future married life with such a wonderful woman to be nothing but blissful!

It is women like her and marriages like you're about to have is why men like us need to support one another.

+1000

I agree with everything you sId here especially the part how you mentioned she said she's fine with the driving part. What better way to see her new home than a road trip like that . These women are resilient like you said.

I believe you should be applauded and not scorned.

Reading your story I think there should more men like you in this endeavor

 Wow, that is quite a change of heart from your initial position GQ. In fact it’s a 180 degree turn!
 
Have you decided to turn over a new leaf for the New Year?
 
If you have, I applaud your decision.
Maybe by the end of 2014 you will have come to view yourself as just another one of the guys? Another typical MOB’er?   
 

[Faux Pas]

No one ever wrote this [about being stupid] so cut the crap there.

That each and every Russian woman has traveled west on vacations is a gross assumption.
 [unless the visa requirements have relaxed unbeknowenst to myself]

"Nice"? You're being nice to someone by blessing them with your presence?
 

It's called a straw man argument 

[jmana]

Yes indeed Dave, it was quite a departure from his usual prose wasn't it?



 Wow, that is quite a change of heart from your initial position GQ. In fact it’s a 180 degree turn!
 
Have you decided to turn over a new leaf for the New Year?
 
If you have, I applaud your decision.
Maybe by the end of 2014 you will have come to view yourself as just another one of the guys? Another typical MOB’er?   

Yeah I'm half afraid to reply to his posts now that he's being nice (even if it might not be genuine), I just feel like it's a trap he's luring me into, haha!  Anyway, I wish all of you a great New Years, stay safe!

[jmana]

So Alina got back to me with a list of requests longer than black tea this time, and some of the stuff I don't know what it is    She asks for a hair dryer (which of course I have) and a puddle brush? And balsam, which must have something to do with the bathroom also.  She said she wants yogurt with cereal, does she mean like granola?  The other stuff I got, like kid's shampoo and Nesquik. She said she wishes we had kefir here, I suppose I could make it for her.  I've made it in the past with limited success. 

[SANDRO43]

and a puddle brush?

She probably meant paddle brush :

Does she have long hair?

[tfcrew]

Let me put it this way [thought I had before]---

The petition has been approved.
Your fiancee would like you to be there mainly to be coach and document organizer for the K-1  interview.
Her child [if it's K2] also expects special attention for the upcoming trip.
So you're asked to chaperon the ladies to your home.
To whom would this be a problem?

[alex330]

So Alina got back to me with a list of requests longer than black tea this time, and some of the stuff I don't know what it is    She asks for a hair dryer (which of course I have) and a puddle brush? And balsam, which must have something to do with the bathroom also.  She said she wants yogurt with cereal, does she mean like granola?  The other stuff I got, like kid's shampoo and Nesquik. She said she wishes we had kefir here, I suppose I could make it for her.  I've made it in the past with limited success.

Yes, I think Sandro nailed the paddle brush 

The "balsam" I will take a guess that it is balm or lotion, maybe take her to the store for that when she arrives as the number of options can boggle a man's mind. My wife loves granola with plain yogurt (Greek variety more suited to her tastes) or kefir. Not sure where you are located but 10 hours South of DC puts you in the mid Atlantic area with Publix as an option? They just started carrying kefir in their stores locally.

[Ranetka]

Balsam means hair conditioner

[alex330]

Balsam means hair conditioner

Ah, I learned something new. 

[jmana]

Balsam means hair conditioner

Is that a particular kind of conditioner, or does it mean conditioner in general? 

[jmana]

Not sure where you are located but 10 hours South of DC puts you in the mid Atlantic area with Publix as an option? They just started carrying kefir in their stores locally.

We don't have Publix, but I know Trader Joes and Harris Teeter have what they call kefir, but I've bought it and to me it just seems like drinkable yogurt.  The kefir I've had in Ukraine was a lot different, and the stuff I used to make was closer in texture to what I had in Ukraine, but unfortunately I never could get the same taste.  Plus it's kind of a pain to make, you have to mess with it every day or else the starter culture dies.  But it's worth trying again, maybe I just did it wrong before.

[Faux Pas]

You can find kefir locally if you look hard enough. It won't be exactly what she's looking for but it'll be close enough to keep her from jonsing. She can get away through customs with some of the spores/mushrooms in her luggage if she want's to chance it.

[alex330]

We don't have Publix, but I know Trader Joes and Harris Teeter have what they call kefir, but I've bought it and to me it just seems like drinkable yogurt.  The kefir I've had in Ukraine was a lot different, and the stuff I used to make was closer in texture to what I had in Ukraine, but unfortunately I never could get the same taste.  Plus it's kind of a pain to make, you have to mess with it every day or else the starter culture dies.  But it's worth trying again, maybe I just did it wrong before.

Yes, it is more like a thin yogurt here. It took my wife some adjusting to get used to the dairy products here in the US. Over time we have found some brands that appeal to her moreso than others. Trial and error.