Women with Children - more strongly worded advice

[Gator]

Do we all agree that it is okay for a 12-yo boy to be inquisitive about the anatomy of the mature female, sex...?

Many years ago I recall walking into our master bedroom and catching my pre-teenage son jerking off to a porn video that my wife and I thought had been securely hidden.  My son's words will never be forgotten:  "Don't tell mommy."

I said "Excuse me son, I did not know you were here,"  then paused, explained that his mother and I knew the lead actress in the movie (she was a friend of a friend and we had met a couple of times at parties), and then left the room so he could complete his task (I recall the torture of my own masturbation interruptus).

[Larry1]

Do we all agree that it is okay for a 12-yo boy to be inquisitive about the anatomy of the mature female, sex...?

When I was that age our family visited some friends in another city.  The husband kept a big stack of Playboy magazines in the room where I was sleeping.  I remember paging through every one of the magazines with the keenest interest.  I still remember one photo of a lovely brunette taken from behind as she walked down the beach. 

[GQBlues]

Ah it isn't logical to ask you for facts when you accuse someone of breaking the law?


Saying the Duke girl proves your point when in fact it proved mine and stating why is not following the previous argument?..

Tell me once and for all, how is the case of the Duke girl even remotely relevant to these two? Moreover, how the heck did it proved your point?

The point I made about cases like hers tells anyone that if a person born and raised here feels as though prostitution is the only way she'd like to use to pursue her education DESPITE the fact she may (or may not) have a multitude of feasible ways, at least more to your approval, to choose from - then why you have a hard time understanding why someone 4 years remove from her own country would be compelled to follow her chosen path. Your argument was, if it was YOU, you wouldn't choose it. Good. Southpaw didn't choose the path the Duke gal chose, so your point is both irrelevant and silly.

It has nothing whatsoever to do as to whether or not I think it's OK for her to do so because the fact of the matter is a) I was not in either of these two's cases when all these had gone down, b) IME, after breaking up with someone before who I held dear, granted not married, but intimately, emotionally and spiritually held dear - I paid for her apartment for an entire year, fully paid for her school so she can pursue what she hoped instead of being stuck as a dental office manager without any promise for her future. My ex had a support system. Me. This gal didn't. She didn't have any relatives to run to either. Instead she chose to continue to do what proved to be a source of income for her as a result of an ex-husband who would rather sit at home and collect unemployment while she stripped. Do I think it's OK for my ex do do what SP did? I wouldn't know because frankly it would not even an option for (us) at any time.

If any of this still proved difficult for you to understand, your bad. You have such a hard on about SouthPaw pursuing her education by working in a strip joint yet fail to equally demonize her for doing it before when she was helping supporting his butt.

Your sad case of being stuck on first gear had always been your problem. Again - she got her education, got herself a good job, is now paying for her portion of their preagreed to child support amount, and is no longer relying to strip to make her living.

Understand?

...Yeah, the journey matters as much as the destination...

To you it does because you can't let go since it's your only way to save face with your argument. I already made a point with you before. There were two folks involved in this particular case. One got out of that way of life and made something of herself. The other simply pursued the same type of life by importing another wife he hardly knows, only this time, one with a child to boot.

After all these years and after going through what they went through - who do you think made strides in the aftermath of their marriage in the same time span?

....This has been what I have been talking about.  You brought up the minors, the whacking off while she stripped and how the people whacked off to his wife, the kiddy porn...

That is NOT what you have been talking about. You couldn't get past 'zero'. Had you had a bit more conviction in your argument, you would've easily considered all sets of circumstances and made your assessment a little more objective. Instead you clung on the fact she stripped to help pay for her education - but silent on the fact she was stripping because her hubby was too lazy to get a new job.

You're stuck in your own stance and clung on to it whether you want to admit it or not. You couldn't see the wrong' in a married man having his wife strip to help with their expenses because the dude is content on staying home and collecting unemployment as apparently the money is NOT enough to meet all their expenses.

Maybe if we didn't get so creative with the storytelling, we would be able to follow the dialog a little better.

True. Many conclusions are made based on this rapid exchange and revelations. Like jmana once boasted not too ago about "how to get a FSUW cheaply like he did before. have her come to you instead of multiple visits" - Paraphrased - when he once referred to his ex-wife; much is lost, misinterpreted, or misunderstood.

But it also doesn't help when one keeps making extreme examples that hardly resemble or is remotely applicable to the matter at hand.

In conclusion, IMO, the likes of jmana is the epitome of what a typical MOBer to me is.

[LiveFromUkraine]

GQ, your comments about what I see or don't see or what I am holding on too are non applicable man.   It's obvious you are not one for facts but would rather just make shit up.

That's cool and all but I just need to remind myself not to bother discussing anything with you because it becomes a soap opera.

[GQBlues]

GQ, your comments about what I see or don't see or what I am holding on too are non applicable man.   It's obvious you are not one for facts but would rather just make shit up...

But what you say/posts do.

...That's cool and all but I just need to remind myself not to bother discussing anything with you because it becomes a soap opera.

LOL. If it makes you feel better.

[LiveFromUkraine]

But what you say/posts do.

I don't follow the post or question? 


I have been basically saying Southpaw isn't mentally stable based on her posts here and some of her decisions like stripping.  I don't accept her statements blindly like many others.  A mentally stable person wouldn't subject herself to what happens in a strip club (multiple times since she went back to make more money because of a health problem).


Of course, her story has changed a lot over the course of this thread. 

[GQBlues]

I don't follow the post or question? 


I have been basically saying Southpaw isn't mentally stable based on her posts here and some of her decisions like stripping.  I don't accept her statements blindly like many others.  A mentally stable person wouldn't subject herself to what happens in a strip club (multiple times since she went back to make more money because of a health problem).


Of course, her story has changed a lot over the course of this thread.

Hhhmmm. *Soap opera* you say?

 

[LiveFromUkraine]

Hhhmmm. *Soap opera* you say?

 

I should have add some stories about kiddy porn, masturbation and many other great insights you dropped in this thread.  Shoot, what do I know, I have been smoking pot all day and have porn on the surround sound system.  I didn't realize how much of a distraction porn on surround sound would be neither how frightening.    


Jmana is waiting for you to point out where he had sex with minors.  I certainly hope you didn't just make that up.

[jmana]

Do we all agree that it is okay for a 12-yo boy to be inquisitive about the anatomy of the mature female, sex...?

I agree with you, but at the same time I also think it's important to protect a child as much as possible and not allow them to have unrestrained access to all things online.  I won't even let my son have a Facebook account.  I did allow him to get Instagram, but I have access to his account and monitor it.  I don't know at what age I should allow him more freedom, but right now I don't feel comfortable with it. 

[GQBlues]

I should have add some stories about kiddy porn, masturbation and many other great insights you dropped in this thread.    ...

Sure why not. You're really good at it. Duke, drug dealers, people dying et al.   

...Jmana is waiting for you to point out where he had sex with minors.

Yup, that was my bad, He said 18 and 19 year olds. But you're free to take him for his word.

[LiveFromUkraine]

Sure why not. You're really good at it. Duke, drug dealers, people dying et al.   

Yup, that was my bad, He said 18 and 19 year olds. But you're free to take him for his word.

Hey man, the ends justify the means.  As long as she gets to her goals, it's all groovy. 


Accuse the guy of kiddy porn and having sex with minors and all he get's is "my bad". 

[GQBlues]

Hey man, the ends justify the means.  As long as she gets to her goals, it's all groovy.

Yup...you certainly would know, eh? LOL. I have no doubt.

[jmana]

I should have add some stories about kiddy porn, masturbation and many other great insights you dropped in this thread.  Shoot, what do I know, I have been smoking pot all day and have porn on the backroom surround sound system.  I didn't realize how much of a distraction porn on surround sound would be neither how frightening.    


Jmana is waiting for you to point out where he had sex with minors.  I certainly hope you didn't just make that up.

Yeah, I'll pay him $100 if he can find where I said that    Also I wish he'd quit with the BS that I was unemployed and just sat around.  I was never unemployed, and I definitely never sat around!!  Hell I completely remodeled a house that was built in the 1800's all by myself, and that was while I was working full time 3rd shift!  Yeah, I guess I really am lazy, aren't I

[LiveFromUkraine]

Yup...you certainly would know, eh? LOL. I have no doubt.

Funny, you are the one that said it, not I.  I debated against such conjecture.  You seem to be morally deficient when it comes to getting the end goals.  Nice twist sunshine.

[die_cast]

Ok, now this thread is about RWD members' first porn memories? 

[jmana]

Ok, now this thread is about RWD members' first porn memories? 

Sure, what's yours    

[GQBlues]

Yeah, I'll pay him $100 if he can find where I said that    Also I wish he'd quit with the BS that I was unemployed and just sat around.  I was never unemployed, and I definitely never sat around!!  Hell I completely remodeled a house that was built in the 1800's all by myself, and that was while I was working full time 3rd shift!  Yeah, I guess I really am lazy, aren't I

Here...

Exactly, that is a real man thing to do, Billy! I only worked on weekends, then during the week I worked at JCPenney. He collected unemployment...

[GQBlues]

Funny, you are the one that said it, not I.  I debated against such conjecture.  You seem to be morally deficient when it comes to getting the end goals.  Nice twist sunshine.

Really now?!? This is the third time I'll ask you to quote me. Twice before you couldn't and highly doubt you could this time around, too.

Soap Opera, yes? Creative writing, yes?

Give it up LIU...you're shooting blanks, 

[LiveFromUkraine]

Really now?!? This is the third time I'll ask you to quote me. Twice before you couldn't and highly doubt you could this time around, too.

Soap Opera, yes? Creative writing, yes?

Give it up LIU...you're shooting blanks, 

I already did in a previous post.  You either didn't want to address it or decided to skip it like many other posts you didn't want to answer.

I'm just hoping to keep firing for as long as humanly possible so I don't worry about blanks. 

So how anyone got there matters very little as long as they actually reached where they wanted to go. Educate themselves and get their career. You can think very little of that, so what, jmana thinks so, too.

[jmana]

Here...

I may have collected unemployment because my hours were cut, but how you translate that to all I did was sat around, I'll never know.  I worked my ass off during that time.  I think this is probably the 4th time I've had to repeat myself, but I started a restaurant and a ballet studio for her to try and make ends meet.  Unfortunately the ballet school was for naught, as she put zero effort into it, but then again why work hard for something like that when you can go beg for dollar bills at the club on the weekend?

[Gator]

You did not answer me about how well your son is doing, so I address this in another way.

I've never once told the truth about her to our son, because I don't want him to know what she is, I'd rather him have this ideal vision of her even if it isn't real, than for him to know what kind of person she really is.

You are correct that an ideal vision is best for him.  Are you reinforcing that Southpaw has many good qualities?
If yes, then you are telling your son the truth about her good side.    It is important for his mental well being. 

Southpaw's perseverance and determination are very apparent.   These are good qualities for a young lad to emulate.   She has focused on education, and that is important at his age.  You wrote that she was very affectionate in the beginning, yet you pushed  her away - another good quality (expressing loving feelings) that maybe needs some explanation so he can understand the two of you.   And for sure Southpaw cares about her son, and you need to remind him of that fact, especially because he does not see her that much.

But she has no problem telling him crap that I did before I even met her, yeah I'm not proud that I got arrested for having pot, especially since I don't even like it, but she continues to bring it up, 16  years later!!  And she still holds onto printouts of every website I looked at....10 years ago! 

I hope she realizes that her son needs to be proud of both his mother and father.  Now that he knows, the pot story can be good for him as a lesson about bad choices and how the record can affect a person.

The two of you need to think about how this contentious dialogue could spill over into how you relate regarding your son.  12-yo kids are very sensitive, vulnerable and perceptive.  And they easily can get the wrong impression that they harbor with unvoiced resentment for years. 

[Slumba]

Yup, that was my bad, He said 18 and 19 year olds. But you're free to take him for his word.

Inference without evidence: present 

Histrionics: present  (cf "human trafficking" LOL)

[BillyB]

12-yo kids are very sensitive, vulnerable and perceptive.  And they easily can get the wrong impression that they harbor with unvoiced resentment for years.

When parents are fighting, the kids may choose sides and begin to reject one or both parents. Southpaw and jmana, is that what you want? Do you want to take the chance on being a parent that is rejected? Is trying to win this fight on the internet really worth the risk? I don't see anybody winning this fight. You both made yourselves look bad trying to expose the worst of each other.


jmana, why don't you step up to the plate and be the MAN in this situation. Call up your ex and apologize for everything you said about her and promise her you will never say anything harmful again on the internet or in real life regardless if you think she's starting something again. Sure Southpaw helped escalate the fight by talking bad about you and you did your part in escalating it but if you really want to end this for the benefit of your son and to create a smoother transition in the new chapter in your life with your fiancée, someone has to take the first step. What do you say? Can you make that call?

[GQBlues]

Inference without evidence: present 

Histrionics: present  (cf "human trafficking" LOL)

Another stooge who have difficulties reading but unfortunately, one of the mods censored cut my post so you have an excuse if you missed it.

But speaking of hitting the whorehouse during his wife searching trip....is this too an 'inference' or is it fact?

[jmana]

When parents are fighting, the kids may choose sides and begin to reject one or both parents. Southpaw and jmana, is that what you want? Do you want to take the chance on being a parent that is rejected? Is trying to win this fight on the internet really worth the risk? I don't see anybody winning this fight. You both made yourselves look bad trying to expose the worst of each other.


jmana, why don't you step up to the plate and be the MAN in this situation. Call up your ex and apologize for everything you said about her and promise her you will never say anything harmful again on the internet or in real life regardless if you think she's starting something again. Sure Southpaw helped escalate the fight by talking bad about you and you did your part in escalating it but if you really want to end this for the benefit of your son and to create a smoother transition in the new chapter in your life with your fiancée, someone has to take the first step. What do you say? Can you make that call?

Funny thing is I did talk to her on the phone about what I posted here regarding her having no personality, and I agreed it was a stupid thing to write and we both agreed not to say anything negative about each other.  After that I hadn't even been checking this site for a long time, and one day I'm bored at work and noticed she posted all this crap about me!  So it's not worth trying to agree to anything with her, because this is what she does when we come to an agreement, she goes and does crap behind my back to mess it up!  She's done this every time we've been on good terms.  I was dating my son's teacher and she seemed fine with it, we were all getting along, and then one day out of the blue she calls the school principal to complain!  That's what she does, she's been doing this ever since we've gotten divorced.  It's like some vindictive thing that she just won't let up on.  I assume it's because she has this warped version of the past, and she feels like she has been wronged and has to get back at me.  But she's gotten back at me plenty and it's time for her to let go.